Am I wrong for asking for a photo of the person I've already agreed to meet? If someone is contacting you from another state I feel uncomfortable that you want to wait for me to see you blindly. It's a deal breaker for me. Something's up.
In state or out of state irrelevant. Yes, it is a deal breaker.you are not wrong at all. At this point even if you get a picture it may not be them. Move on.
@Sooson thanks.
Yes, get a photo upfront. If the person meets and looks nothing like the photo, disengage and leave. I don't post my photo publicly on my profile, but always send one in a private message to any cuddler who I'm considering meeting.
Me : Do you mind sharing a picture of you, we chatted for a while and I'm interested in meeting, I just want to see who I'm talking to
Them: Why do you need to see a picture of me? You can see me when we meet
Me : Next in line please
@Jubal , I will publicly post photos briefly when I am considering meeting and actively having conversations with a potential cuddlee. I understand people are curious. This is the second time I've experienced this. So I am wary .
Fellow enthusiast, I won't post a photo here. If meeting, it can be discussed. I don't like the "I need a photo to talk with you" and I tell them to hire a pro. If you're being asked for a photo and one hasn't been sent to you, that's a red flag.
@starrynitecuds some do ask which annoys me when they don't properly introduce and share. I do post a photo on my profile periodically , as I have just now.
It's not showing publicly, but I see a locked sign.
@Quiet_Cuddlez You are not wrong. It's a definite red flag.
It is odd and red flaggy for a pro to not already have photos on their profile. Seems like a to scam.
However, it is totally fine with me if an enthusiast doesn’t want to share a photo.
But that’s my line. Everyone has different tolerances and preferences.
If you’re not comfortable move along.
@Quiet_Cuddlez I am 100% with everyone else who has responded. That is a big red flag.
I mostly agree....however... I'm willing to make an exception if her reason for not showing a photo seems legit, and we're meeting publicly, and I can combine our meeting with other errands I'm doing in the area, then okay, I'll meet with her.
Welcome to the site @Quiet_Cuddlez !! 😎🤗 And yeah, even as a pro I require a photo before meeting a new client. It has nothing to do with "privacy" and everything to do with safety. It's unreasonable if someone is unwilling to at least share a measley pic with you before meeting up and them expecting you to be vulnerable with them....it's def a red flag 🚩 Good luck tho and stay safe!! ❤️
I know the OP is an enthusiast, but I’ll just point out to clarify; pros have to have a face photo. If you see a pro that doesn’t have a photo of their face, that’s reportable.
To answer the OP, definitely a red flag. I need a photo before I meet you physically. Period. I’m not going to go to a cafe and just walk around asking people to see if it’s you and I also hate the idea that my cuddler would have 15 plus photos of me but I don’t even have one of them. I’ve had some that send some blurry, far away “can barely see them” photo or them wearing sunglasses or only a quarter of their face showing. No sir… full face please.
It's not even a red flag, it's a grade 1, solid gold deal-breaker. No exceptions. No discussion. It's deeply suspicious behaviour and is borderline reportable.
I don’t think I would say it’s reportable. I say that because everyone is allowed to decide if they want to show themselves or not. It’s absolutely bonkers to me that people would meet without getting a picture but to each their own. It’s a safety thing and it makes absolute sense to need a pic before meeting but it’s not a rule the site has I don’t think, so I wouldn’t say it’s reportable.
I'm trying to meet in a very public and populated spot. Security cameras and all. I had one other experience where the guy was reluctant to share his photo wanting to "surprise" me. Uh no sir, no thanks, suggested a "blind date" well into the planning. Well when he displays the photos he blocks me. WTH??
This is taking fear of rejection way too far.
If their fear of rejection is that advanced, @Quiet_Cuddlez , they need professional medical attention - not cuddling. It is beyond the scope of cuddling to handle that degree of anxiety, attachment disorder, insecurity, self-hatred, body dysmorphia, and/or rejection sensitivity disorder. Cuddling can feel wonderfully healing and can be amazing adjunct therapy, but it is not replacement for proper medical treatment.
Edit to add: it takes one to know one - I began attending cuddle party events under supervision of a licensed therapist as adjunct treatment for touch trauma, along with some degree of all of those things I mentioned. I did it gradually and with a lot of support, not by venturing into the wild west that is CC on my own. I know not everyone can afford therapy, I certainly cannot most of the time, but there are far safer (and cheaper) ways to get support than through seeking cuddle partners in online strangers.
@cuddlefaery, thanks for your insight. I'm not a licensed therapist, but I have worked in the field for many years. I'm not diagnosing anyone but my observations are spot on more often than not.
@Sheena123 no, I don't think it's reportable either for precisely the reason you state. But I do think it's quite close to it.
@Quiet_Cuddlez yeah, I didn't mean to imply armchair diagnosis, sorry!
More that there's a common problem in the community for people with significant mental health troubles to seek a bandaid through cuddling, placing all the emotional labor on the pro, and then stuff like your story happens.
So my general response when someone is showing signs of needing more help than I can give is to tell them as much and to offer some general resources. More often than not it ends up in me getting blocked or them later banned by someone else's report, but occasionally it has opened to the door to some really good conversations about mental health.
I had a client ask why I needed a photo... my response was "to avoid walking into a hotel lobby and shouting OK! Who am I cuddling" lol. Seriously though, a clear face photo is the minimum of info you should have before an in-person meet. I think we have all learned the anonymous nature of the internet is a double edged sword. Please be sure to prioritize your safety.
Although you're free to request a photo, I'd also request a video call. I've been catfished here once, and that thing still goes around. So I'd be careful and don't really believe or go off of anyone's profile photo being of them until I see them.
Sometimes even seeing the person may fool you though if they used a very similar looking photo. Long story short, it's what happened with the guy who catfished me. I thought he had just put on some weight after we video called. Then I start seeing a red flag, and then finding stuff out. So all that to say, I'd not just trust a photo.
Never agree to meet without getting a photo. I don't have a public profile pic, but I always attach one when initiating a conversation.
I wouldn't send a photo but I would have a video call. Not only so you can be sure I am who I say I am but you can also get a feel to see if the energy is right.
I usually send a pic after a phone call, no phone call, no pic, id sooner have my phone number out there than my picture, id do a video chat anytime, but without hearing a voice, you really don't know who your messaging on the internet, it's a vetting process for everyone, ive met lots of people their sight unseen,
Yeah, that's a red flag for me too.🚩🚩🚩