@Cuddlesofcuddle hoooo yaaah
All you can really do is try and figure them out early. Can't eliminate the time waste but work on reducing it.
@TxTom
Does ATM stand for Always Thirsty Men?
👏👏👏
@PixiePassions
Dude was in his 70s, too!
What does his age have to do with anything? Are you saying it would have been less inappropriate if he was younger?
@Morpheus @TxTom ATM = All The Money
Most threads if given the time devolve into this compliant stream of bad experiences from professionals. Is me or are the professionals (mostly women) here jaded? It really separates professionals into different ‘camps’ for sure. This website has to be mostly men - I cannot state that as a fact. I couldn’t imagine: being new here, opening up a random forum post to get a feel of things…how that would make me feel - not very welcomed for sure. Seeing the people that are ‘working for me’ complaining about what a pain in the ass it is to deal with me. All these beautiful women with a ‘it’s just a job’ attitude. ‘Book me. Talk there. Pay me.’ where’s the empathy? what if it’s their first time? also where’s the value for the human connection? or even just the passion for your profession? Imagine stumbling across your therapist’s notes, and they wrote how excruciating it was to sit through your session or talk to you/listen to you.
just my 2 cents.
@_vibelikekay
Imagine stumbling across your therapist’s notes, and they wrote how excruciating it was to sit through your session or talk to you/listen to you.
Ironically, many Pros here falsely claim they ARE therapists, so your point, although well-spoken, will probably be lost.
Is me or are the professionals (mostly women) here jaded?
"Professional" is only used because they get paid, it's not about training or qualifications. When money is the exclusive motivation for a particular job, people are less satisfied with their employment.
@starrynitecuds I have been noticing that too. This odd ‘masquerading’ as a mental health professional. When those professionals actually exist! I think people got a tad been confused when this was referred to as ‘cuddle therapy’ and started setting up shop in office spaces. But again, that is my opinion. Cuddle professionals can run their business how ever they may choose.
I seen an ever so concerning comment along the lines of ‘better safe to assume that man will hurt you than not’… This is a victim mentality. There’s a difference between once being victimized and just being a victim.
Because situation, environment, people does not change a person’s true nature.
If I walk into the gas station and the till is wide open, with no one around, is something gonna take over me and then I rob the place? No.
Just like if you’re alone with a man, no matter who he is - that does not inherently make him dangerous or he’s gonna take advantage of the situation. Every man you meet is not a predator. Anyone, not just men, should know basic consent. It’s not about horniness or any of that, I promise. And that’s really the issue, isn’t it? People not respecting consent and boundaries.
It’s a scary thought, but ANYONE can harm you at anytime, not just those within the confines of your home. Sure, people break into people’s houses and take advantage of finding a person in there, but that was their INTENTION. People walking down the street, your uber driver, even family members can harm you - you can’t be looking over your shoulder your whole life, and make the next person pay the price for the last person. Which leads me to my next point, we want to lean on ‘vetting’ someone so much, but you never know someone. Not after a day, a month, a year or even a decade. You never truly know someone, you trust and believe in the version presented.
And all this may sound a little against the women, but I am such a girl’s girl it’s crazy. Also someone needs to step in for the men every once in awhile… I can just see how hurt the women are by these situations they are facing, and that hurts me honestly. It’s like a cry for help.
So what do we do? Is there a solution? Can you actually prevent these situations? Unfortunately no. Rulebreakers do not follow the rules. Expressing your boundaries to someone who had no INTENTION (common theme here) of abiding by them in the first place is pointless.
“It’s you, not me” - don’t take their actions too personally, and definitely try to not let it shape your world view or your view of yourself.
Thanks for coming to my TedTalk 😊
@_vibelikekay well stated. People need to based actions on that particular person. Just like how some people base one black person’s action as the action of the whole race. Can’t be doing that. Be cautious but not over react
@_vibelikekay Thanks for having me to your TedTalk, lol. I agree. Hopefully those that don't will consider your message and see the truth in it. btw, why did throw that underscore in your username? It makes it a little trickier to type, lol.
@_vibelikekay I don't see it as a victim mentality so much as healthy caution. Remember that quite apart from anything they may have experienced cuddling, pros get inappropriate propositions every day via messaging, so why wouldn't they think that is what a lot of guys on here are looking for?
Most drivers are pretty responsible and safe, but if your car got wrecked by a bad driver, you are going to treat every other car on the road with extra caution.
I could be wrong, of course. But I have not lived the life of a female pro, so I don't feel I can tell them what they should and should not be worried about.
more man bashing
Well, ya'll ain't gonna bash yourselves...
😄😄😄😄
Thanks for your comments. I don’t know if anyone has nailed it as well as you have.
I agree, I see pros come on here and wonder if they actually think before they comment. They man bash and basically in not so many words say, pay me and leave me alone. Why would they think attitudes like that make them attractive as potential cuddlers. It’s mind boggling to me.
I understand this mentality and I'm sure its not all horrible but people do need there spaces to be able to vent there frustration with the situation
@WriterGF I do think this is a completely valid point. If you (as a man/non-professional) feel you have nothing to contribute to this 'safety and awareness' conversation, that is also perfectly okay. It's okay to say, I sympathize with you but I cannot empathize with this type of adversity.
To me... I've always been confused about the 'why is this happening?' type of mindset. As if these women have never interacted with men anywhere else on the internet, or even been on the internet, had that type of encounter with a man before - and that sounds mean, but hear me out. It is not the professionals or the women's fault, again it is people not respecting the rules of CuddleComfort, or the boundaries of the professional they are seeing. Nothing to do with human sexuality. Opportunity does not make a rapist, I always say.
And honestly it is, what a lot of men are looking for. This is not the right place. I also see that discussion being had in the forums. There is a cult following who believe there are sex workers (can I say that? or do I have to abbreviate lol) working on this website - driving this traffic to the site. I cannot say if that is true or not, just like they cannot say if that is true or not. It is stated as fact however.
I raised some points about unkind treatment towards men, or blanket statements; That's how I feel about these sex worker posts, and I'm definitely not a sex worker - they feel hateful towards women in general. That's my biggest issue. Not with what is being said, but how it is being said and how everyone is going about it.
The community feels fractured. They're side-eyeing their fellow professional, as well their potential clientele. It's silly, but I feel like I'd be the last person to say 'Cmon guys, can't we just all get along?'
The women on here should support each other, and be kind to the cuddlers. That is just not what I am seeing happening. If it's just a paycheck to you, if you thought it was just going to be easy money (and it is, let's be honest) it may be the wrong line of work. You need to be passionate about anything you in life.
@Morpheus Personally, I feel the 'relationship' is a big part of the cuddling. We all get our 'time wasted' or do not have enough time for every single person. "You never reply" well I am one person, and this business is a bit understaffed at the moment. When AI gets there maybe then you will get immediate replies, but that is not today!
I can clearly stay on my soapbox for awhile about these issues. All men shouldn't have to pay the price for some men. I want women to have a healthy worldview, view of themselves, view of men. Repair that chip on your shoulder. The world isn't all that bad, we talk too much about the bad things but almost never about the positive things going on here. I hear cuddlers saying 'I've had great experiences', I seldom hear that from professionals. What.. you've never gone to a concert or show with your cuddler beforehand and had a great time? Dinner at a fancy steakhouse? A cuddler has never given you something really cool or special that you're going to keep forever? Where are those stories? There needs to be some balance - these forums are where people come to see what's going on in the CuddleComfort universe. I feel so silly saying 'let's create a safer space' - but please.
@Jezika I will again stick up for the men. It's falling on deaf ears, and making others feel alienated. It's not that these nice men _don't _care, there's nothing they can do - it's not them. These men in the forum do not need to change their behavior. The men in the vent posts are not here.
I think 'not all men' hits differently when a woman says it; men are routinely feeling obligated to defend themselves against things they are not doing.
Again, just my opinion of course.
Everyone keeps acting surprised that there are people on this site that are here for the wrong reasons. That's why there are mods. We need be adults about this and move onand stop living in dream world. Truth be told many people know they want more than a to be cuddled-pro or not.
I don't see it as a victim mentality so much as healthy caution. Remember that quite apart from anything they may have experienced cuddling, pros get inappropriate propositions every day via messaging, so why wouldn't they think that is what a lot of guys on here are looking for?
😁👍
@WriterGF I'm not a pro, but I do know what it's like to get inappropriate fappy messages/icebreakers in my inbox as a woman. So, I do agree with your comment here.😊
All of these people who are talking about their negative experiences have had positive things to say about the site and obviously cuddle with men successfully.
Very true!👏👏👏
@mulftor Yes, I have had negative and positive experiences here where Cuddle Comfort is concerned. Actually, I have had positive and negative experiences on other sites (that aren't strictly about platonic cuddling) that I'm active on as well.😁
@Katota
(that aren't strictly about platonic cuddling) that I'm active on as well.😁
Bad girl!
people do need there spaces to be able to vent there frustration with the situation
😊
@Jezika Venting it out, is better then holding it in...Even if said venting happens on social media!😉😊
@Sooson Lol! I never claimed to be "a good girl".😄
I really wish women would stop the man bashing, stop these negative blanket statements about men, stop making us feel like we need to defense ourselves against things that we haven’t done.
I have countless times tried to defend men and have been painted by some as a bad guy yet I have received endless messages from other users thanking me for speaking out and being a voice when they have been afraid to speak out in fear of retaliation.
@Morpheus - I'm saying that someone with that much life experience should know better. Maturity is supposed to come with age. Does it always? Of course not. I lived with a man-child who was in his 40s/50s. But I'd like to think most people that age know better.
“working for me” if you treat women as employees in a cuddle session, I guess that’s what you’re going to get. That’s just sad and I hope you don’t.
@PixiePassions You are exactly right, very well said. And the men who are guilty of it, don’t recognize it. I know this firsthand. I was raised with these men. I know exactly how they behave. I know how they were raised. That’s my generation and those of you who are younger may not get it but she is right. They get stuck in their ways and they won’t change. Not All Boomer Men are this way though please understand that I’m not saying that - but many are!
@PixiePassions As someone pushing 60, I can tell you maturity often depends on your life experiences and how they affect you. I know people 30 years younger than me who are very mature and people 10 years older who are most assuredly not.
@g_w_t_w - Thank you for understanding what I was getting at, and you're right as well.
@WriterGF - Yep, I've seen the same. Maturity coming with age should be the baseline, but there are many exceptions to the rule.
@lonelytauros
@g_w_t_w was this directed at me?
And what am I going to get exactly?
The cuddle professional is working during a session. They're getting paid.
If you did not like how that was worded, say so. "Working for me" was used to expressed the exchange of money for a service. Rightfully, I would think a client might expect said professional to want to converse a little beforehand, and not find it such a chore.
I've been nothing but polite on the forums, and I don't appreciate snide remarks indicating pity like 'that's just sad'.
This is a great example of the forum culture here. Moderators or admins cannot fix this for us. Only we can.
A little kindness goes a long way. 🤞🏼