When someone tries to make their own personal problem everyone else’s, they write it out and post it to the forum here and then feel entitled to lots of sympathy and validation. With all this, they reveal how much they are the actual problem because of complete lack of understanding of how the world works, tone deaf ridiculous expectations. Then has a temper tantrum like a 2 year old. The whole thing was so telling and made obvious why he wasn’t getting what he wanted. (Just my own opinion of course)
@g_w_t_w No, I think that about covers it.
A: Everything
rereading my profile to make sure I don’t claim to have good social skills
Its diffcult when your body is in 2024 and your head is in the 1980's. A great era including Mt. St. Helens, Exxon Valdez, Ethiopian famine, Chernobyl, Loma Prieta Earthquake among many more events. But apparently people returned your messages.
Classic example of a 14.
Too often people are their own worst PR managers.
Oof. I remember why I took a break from reading these things. This disheartens me.
I want to echo @Victoria_777's commentary. This is why education on the field is 100% necessity. Sure, you can jump straight in to working with a cuddler, but I often hear really, really mixed views on this from both professionals, enthusiasts, and clients - across ALL cuddle platforms and in the community at large. Touch is so uniquely individual from cuddler to cuddler so, you're going to have a different experience no matter what. Comparing this to massage is . . . problematic for a number of reasons.
We have to look at the reasons and intention behind everything. Why are you seeking out someone to cuddle with? A good deal of my clients are cancer patients, those with chronic illnesses, and SA cases looking to build trust in feeling safe with allowing someone to touch them again. That is straight up therapy. In fact, a lot of those clients come to me through a few different therapists that I work hand in hand with. I do massage with a few of my clients; these are generally regulars that I have built a certain level of rapport with - though it is never in clothed areas and clothes are never removed. I worked in massage therapy for years so I am confident in my skill level. However, that requires a certain level of intimacy and trust. For full on massage like you would find at a parlor or from an app like Soothe and Zeel, you're going to be removing clothes. Cuddlers - yeah, not a thing that should be happening.
I do have a couple of clients that I wear a crop top and workout shorts with, rather than a full on scrub-like pajama set. Those clients are both regulars that I trust with my life and we have a genuine understanding and care for one another. Neither has ever made me feel objectified and both find running their hand up and down my leg and through my hair excessively soothing. There are specific positions I will cuddle in with these two clients that I would not with anyone else expressly because I do not have that level of trust that someone else would not push the boundaries.
A lot of people on here have complained about my profile and my protocols - cuddlers and perspective clients alike. I'm told that I am too clinical or asking too much. Generally, this is by the same perspective clients that are asking for massage. I require almost exactly the same information the massage apps do. I set these requirements and expectations in order to help educate and create safety for both cuddler and cuddlee. Massage when done by a professional is meant to be relaxing but still mildly clinical because it is a professional service and not someone you care intimately for providing said service. There is a huge difference between intimate comforts and professional massage - and I'm not talking sexually. The issue I am seeing the most is that people are ignoring the basic human psychology behind touch and forgetting that legitimate business owners have to pay for insurance, cleaning, a space, contracts (sometimes lawyers), education, etc. @WarmFuzzler nailed it. We have got to start considering the person on the other end to be - a person.
Just my 2 cents . . . Hope everyone is well! Happy Friday from Austin!
@JustPlaneCuddle Very interesting perspective.
Most pros I have messaged have messaged me back. One important thing is to cheak and see when they were online last, if it's been year or a month then they may not be very active on the site.
My reasons for not responding to messages/ I forget to respond sometimes. Or I read the message and it’s clear to me that the person is 1) looking for a pen pal 2) looking to push boundaries 3) feels entitled to my time and attention 4) is developmentally disabled to a degree that would make them a vulrenable adult(I come from working in behavioral health so I ethically cannot and will not ever have a session with an individual considered vulrenable) Also, there are messages that I can’t find anything to respond back to.
Poor guy. Y’all are mean.
Adults stating their own boundaries, what they are willing to do with their time and for their own mental health, who are clearly more self aware and trying to help OP to understand how he might help himself… “Are Not Being Mean”. If some comments seem harsh, it’s because Poor David kept refusing to understand the answers he was receiving. Many here really did try.
He wanted someone to say, "Yes, enthusiasts are terrible, ignorant people not to respond to you" -- and he wasn't getting that, because it isn't true. As he went on, his posts became contradictory (he went from not being able to see his enthusiast that often because she had other cuddlers to her being a "regular" cuddler of his. He asserted that UK men don't use pros, then never explained why there were 41 pros active just in the last week in his location.)
Throw a question out, you will get answers ... not necessarily validation of your views. If you just want people to agree with you, talk to your family or close friends, not strangers on the internet.
5 replies out of 35 messages is pretty good going on here!
I still think y’all are mean.
Nobody was mean.
This forum was a difficult read for me. Hope he takes a deep breath and takes on board the coaching.
I don't think it's fair to say it's extremely rude. Personally I have a lot going on right now and I'm finding it a bit too overwhelming to respond to my new messages each day that I keep getting. I've stopped responding for the most part. I'm normally someone who always responds out of respect and I just dont have the time and energy for it atm. I suffer chronic fatigue and am also in the process of moving. You don't know what people have going on so instead of judging it and taking it personally just move on to those who do respond. Good luck!!
JSP_1 so rude sexiest and incredibly judgemental and a complete generalization. Definitely not how any of my female friends behave.