Why does the pasta app keep crashing?
It’s built with spaghetti code.
Who made King Arther's round table?
Sir Cumference
How is my wallet like an onion?
Every time I open it, I cry.
I took my glasses off for the rest of the day, I have seen enough.
I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
They make hats for legs now...they’re called kneecaps.
The other day I had to pick up my dad, but it was too much for me. I dropped my dad. (joke)
I’ve got a terrible one my dad used to always say.
How did Canada get it’s name? They pulled 3 letters out of a hat. 🫠
Recently I had a Russian Uber driver, his name Pickup Andropoff
@MajesticMango I was going to do an onion joke, but it is too layered.
What did the garlic do when it got too hot? It took its cloves off!
(Note: the garlic was NOT cuddling at the time.)
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it comes a parent (sounds like apparent lol)
I made song about tortilla once, now it's more like a wrap.
A friend asked me where the dog bowl was…. I honestly didn’t that the dog bowled
Why did the old man fall down the well?
He couldn’t see that well.
How does the man in the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it
Whats the difference between a crocodile and an allegator?
One will see you after a while, and the other will see you later. 🤪
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
U-nique up on it!
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, u-nique up on it!
(That one is funnier when you hear it aloud 😅)
If you're American before you go to the bathroom, and you're Asian when you come out, what are you when you're inside?
Eur-o-pean
I've combined Alphabet soup with a laxative.
It's called "Letter Rip"
What do you call a cow with no legs??
Ground beef
What do you a man with no legs at your front door?---Matt
-no legs in a pile of leaves?---Russell
no legs in the ocean?---Bob
A woman with no legs at the beach?---Sandy
He said he was a ghost, but I could see right through him.
Dad goes to the restaurant.
Hostess asks: “Do you have any reservations?”
Dad: “Nope, I am 100% confident that I want to eat here.”
What do you call a large group of Karens
Homeowners association
What do you call a teacher that won’t fart in public?
A private tooter 🤭
Sr: Hey son how'd you get here!? Jr: From my mom's body !? Sr: Mine first. But mom pooped ya out ! Jr: pooped me!? 💩 Sr: Yup ask her lol 😂
Atleast thats how I was told kids were born as a child lol 🤣 🤷 🤘 🍻 🥇
Vote now to ban monks selling flowers. Only you can prevent florist friars.
Going anywhere with my dad in the car.. he sees roadkill “Well… he won’t have the guts to do THAT again”
“Life is a $h!t sandwich.. the more bread you have .. the less $h!t you have to eat”
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