Relationship status is something to fill out on here and for pros it's hidden. Just wondering why it'd be relevant at all and why pros can't have it shown.
One reason is that some members don’t want a cuddle session with someone who’s married or in a relationship for moral reasons. Though who knows how honest anyone is being as online strangers. But some are, and don’t try to hide their status.
The questions that are asked on our profiles land somewhere between the questions you'd expect on a Platonic Cuddle Website and a Dating Website, and somehow not a single person running this website has ever realised what a massive divide there is between the two types of people on here: those genuinely seeking/selling Platonic Touch Therapy and those that are wanting a cuddle that they secretly hope leads to a deeper relationship/more intimacy than cuddling platonically can provide.
To me it says the owners are happy with people having non-platonic experiences, including non-consensual experiences, so long as it means that the website has more traffic because more traffic leads to more money.
It's backwards and poorly organised, but that's the kind of business practices you find while an industry is only young and not yet regulated.
I can see the relationship thing. Some people like to project what they think is right or wrong onto other people.
The one that really gets me is the children question. Are people planning to cuddle then have children together?
The Facts section of a profile simply gives potential cuddlers a general idea of who the other person is.
There's nothing wrong, or implied, by volunteering such information. Likewise, there's nothing wrong with having photos.
Without Facts and photos, the experience here would be little more than...
Pick one. 🫂 🫂 🫂 🫂 🫂 🫂 🫂 🫂
🫂 🫂 🫂 🫂 🫂 🫂 🫂 🫂
@JasonCuddles i think the children label is so that cuddlers can tell at a glance whether they’re gonna have to work their cuddle session around things like school, bedtime, privacy, etc.
@SnuggleBugFi I found your statement very puzzling. The only way the site knows what is going on between a pro and enthusiast - consensual or non-consensual - is if someone files a complaint. Mods are not sitting in the bedroom monitoring sessions.
As far as a consensual relationship goes, what do you think the site should do? Make a rule that consenting adults can't have feelings for each other? Essentially be Thought Police? How would they know this was happening in the first place, unless one of the two people in the relationship files a complaint about it?
And stating that the site is "happy" to let non-consensual relationships happen is a very serious charge. I hope you have proof to back it up, otherwise saying the site is knowingly turning a blind eye to sexual assault and rape -- "happy" about it, as you put it -- is inviting a libel suit.
It's not ideal but all the site can do is provide the groundwork for people to meet and assume that they are utilizing it for it's intended purpose. It's up to site members to conduct themselves appropriately and vet others, and to not be trash human beings. They aren't hand selecting through a deep dive multi tier analysis before allowing you to sign in here so like most things on a public interwebs platform, it's all buyer beware.
So the more.info you have about someone the easier it might be to make a choice about whether or not they are a suitable person for you to share your time and personal space with. For some, relationship status is a factor. For.others it is not. Those who consider it important I'm sure are.quite happy that the question is there. Those who don't can just simply ignore it. Plus it's a voluntary one to answer.ro begin with. Not really that deep.
Great question.
@pmvines You just stated what I was thinking. I believe that is plagiarism.
Well said, @pmvines. 🙂
I like to know who I'm meeting as much as possible. And I agree that if I were a pro or was booking a pro their relationship is not necessary for one to know any more than a Physician or massage therapist's relationship status would.
From a professional standpoint, I don’t share my relationship status on my profile because it is not relevant to the service I offer, I host sessions in rented office spaces or go to the clients home so it’s not like they are going to be in my home. And it’s a loose, loose situation. If I’m in a relationship, there will be a subset of clients who will think it’s morally wrong, even if my partner is well aware of my work or they won’t want to book me because they were hoping they could win me over to be in a relationship with them. If I share that, I’m single it just opens the floodgates for clients to think that they have a chance with me when there are clear professional boundaries. I’m happy to share my personal life with clients once we are in a session together, but in general, I feel like it’s a bad idea to advertise my relationship status on here.
Relationship status or parental status are both relevant when it comes to matching up schedules. As a parent myself, I've had to sometimes tell pros that I'm not available to meet during certain hours because those times are reserved as family time with my child. I'm sure that pros with children have to work their availability around their kids needs as well, so it's helpful information to put on a profile.
I just think it's a bit weird to have those things offered as 'info'. Like children, relationship status, whether or not someone drinks? It rubs me the wrong way. Like it caters to people's fantasies of a platonic cuddle turning into something more because both parties may be single. Because it feels too similar to a dating site, I have to put in more effort for clarity and safety's sake.
And having the option to show that info isn't provided for pros outside of the actually bio. If it is somehow important at all, then why are pros not allowed the same option?
I just think that if this really is "Platonic cuddling" why would relationship status matter?
I'm just skeptical as to the reasoning behind offering that as info. If having children or someone's relationship status is important to you, then you can always ask. And if you think it's important for someone to know, you can always just tell them with a more thorough explanation than you can give in the info box anyway.
Vetting starts with the profile. Think outside the box. I'm so confused, you have issues with the drinking question? Religion, addiction, culture. Maybe you don't care now, because you're 19, and it doesn't really apply, but it does.
@KuddlyKoala I am not surprised it has similar questions to a dating site. Platonic or not, it still involves two strangers meeting and being physically intimate. And since pros are encountering more strangers on a daily basis than enthusiasts are, it is especially important that they be able to vet.
There are people who have issues with their cuddle partner being married (why? I know an enthusiast who cuddled with a married person and ended up dragged into the middle of their divorce when the spouse didn't believe it was platonic). Some people, especially those with past drinking problems, don't want to be around someone who drinks.
Heck, it's good to know if your potential cuddle partner has pets if you have allergies.
Compatibility comes into play here because you are going to be close to and vulnerable to someone. Everything isn't about fueling a romantic fantasy. If you don't see the necessity of the questions, don't answer them and don't look at other people's answers.
@KuddlyKoala It is weird... Relationship status isn't hidden for pros, we just literally don't have the option to answer that question since the question is not there. 🤷♀️
I never made a comment about pets. That's a valid thing for allergies.
Why would your religion, addiction status, or culture matter at all when it comes to someone else's relationship with alcohol?
If someone's marital status is that important, why couldn't you just ask?
Also, I ask this question because on other cuddle platforms it isn't a thing.
@KuddlyKoala Someone with a substance abuse issue is quite possibly going to want to avoid people who use that substance. That's not uncommon.
Someone who is atheist or agnostic MIGHT not be comfortable cuddling someone who is religious, and vice versa.
Some people can't stand any kind of smoking and won't want to visit a home where the cuddler smokes.
If none of these things are issues for you, that's awesome. But that's you, not everyone else on this site. Different people have different preferences even for friends or platonic partners. It sounds like you're saying "None of this is relevant to me, so why would it be relevant to someone else?"
@KuddlyKoala geninue question. Did any of the responses address/ answer some of your questjons?
As someone who didn't oarticularly question the format / questions within the info section, i learnt a fair bit from the reponses to this post.
@WriterGF gave you the perfect explanation. He laid it out for you and even spoon fed it to you with a silver spoon.
THE END..
👍👍👍
Or don't want a cuddler who smokes to visit their home. 🚭🚭🚭🚭
Thanks @WriterGF 😁
Someone with a substance abuse issue is quite possibly going to want to avoid people who use that substance. That's not uncommon.
Yup. I keep a couple bottles of liquor at my place, but if I know that a guest has a history with alcohol abuse, or in general has objections to it, I put them away in a locked cabinet. Same basic principle as what you're laying out in your longer answer.
It's been explained why it matters to some and it's been explained why it doesn't matter to others. I don't think anybody is going to change their minds about it so maybe it's best to stop repeating the same things over and over
Wow! What an interesting and provocative discussion! Thanks to everyone who engaged!
I find the last comment from @pmvines to be a significant one....that is, pointing out that it matters to some and not to others; I just want to add that neither group is right or wrong. The right/wrong binary that is so often applied in this forum decreases future conversation and engagement. @KuddlyKoala simply wanted to share that she doesn't find it important, or even appropriate, for such questions to be posed on a platonic cuddling site. It's certainly a legitimate perspective, and, if one is open to learning from others, it can begin an active conversation, as it has.
The problem is when the question then becomes an edict, one firmly suggesting that no one participating on a platonic cuddling site could/should think otherwise. The fact that some of us may be more interested in cuddling with a pro who is a parent, or an atheist, or in/not in a relationship, who smokes, etc.....falls on deaf ears/eyes. Just because YOU don't find value in it, does not mean OTHERS won't. As several have said, don't answer the questions you find inapplicable, or inappropriate.....but please don't chastise those of us who find such answers helpful!
And I really don't even know where to start with the presumptive-laden post of @SnuggleBugFi......
****somehow not a single person running this website has ever realised what a massive divide there is between the two types of people on here: those genuinely seeking/selling Platonic Touch Therapy and those that are wanting a cuddle that they secretly hope leads to a deeper relationship/more intimacy than cuddling platonically can provide.****
**_To me it says the owners are happy with people having non-platonic experiences, including non-consensual experiences, so long as it means that the website has more traffic because more traffic leads to more money.
It's backwards and poorly organised, _**
"Not a single person running this website"?!? REALLY? How can you make such a bold statement? Why would you assume that the owners of the site are only interested in site traffic and making money? Because they do not do things the way you somehow conclude is the best way?
I want to express my gratitude to the owners and mods of this site for doing all that is possible, to welcome humans into this very big tent, with very different approaches to life, love, and touch.........providing an incredible service to connect people who would never ever meet otherwise. Sure, there are, and will be, challenges along the way, but I think you have done a masterful job at trying to allow as much freedom as possible, with providing a site where the bulk of the participants are good people just trying to find connection, support, and community in a often-times challenging world.
Ah well I personally don't love the children question. My kids are fully launched adults. If I put has children as an option, I don't want to imply I have kids underfoot, a messy mom space, or sitter issues. So I just leave it blank. My relationship status is none of your business/not looking, thanks. But that's not an option here, either!
I don't find relationship status to be irrelevant. I can also understand to some extent things like ethnicity, drinking, and whether someone has children. What I really don't understand is why wanting children in the future is on here. That seems like something that's strictly relevant to a dating website.
What I really don't understand is why wanting children in the future is on here.
I don’t know, maybe they are contemplating collecting man-childs from this site. There is no shortage of them on this site, although many are banned.
@niceguy88 my guess: the potential of having kids could impact future availability and cuddle environment. If someone is adamantly against being around children, it's likely they not only would seek people without children, but also avoid those who might eventually have children if they're seeking a long-term cuddle partnership. It's likely less relevant for people seeking one-off or short term cuddles, or for those who always meet up in a 3rd space (hotel, public, etc.).
I know some child-free folks would be quite frustrated if their relationship & schedule with a cuddle partner changed due the addition of children. Heck, there's probably people with kids who would equally get upset at the change.
It's just one of the many factors that some people find to be deal-breakers, while for others it's completely irrelevant.