Color Me Virtually Confused

KnightlyCuddlesKnightlyCuddles
in General

At its core, I believe CC is a 'cuddle site'. Without taking into account a percentage of individuals evidently who cannot or will not meet in person due to a plethora of reasons or phobia's, I am confused about the merits and values of a "Virtual Cuddle" ?

A Virtual cuddle does NOT involve a physical cuddle so why would it be considered a cuddle at all?

What emotional or psychological benefit(s) does the cuddlee receive? Assuming the Virtual Cuddler is a PRO they obviously receive their hourly rate and do not have to leave their abode thus perhaps making this the easiest of all cuddles.

I am all for the person hiring/engaging the cuddler to get any benefit from a Virtual session and also am totally in favor of the hired Cuddler earning their money .........but why not just call it a Zoom Call or even phone call?

Lastly would the 'host' in this case be the one originating the Virtual meeting?

Signed

Virtually Discombobulated

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Comments

  • TxTomTxTom

    I don't get it either. Great questions!

  • Soul_SurferSoul_Surfer

    I have wondered the same thing and also do both assume a cuddle position while Virtually cuddling? Thanks for asking as I didn't want to risk being flamed for this question.

  • KnightlyCuddlesKnightlyCuddles

    @TxTom IT never hurts to ask..........especially online

  • KnightlyCuddlesKnightlyCuddles

    @ SS Don't overthink IT =)

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    What emotional or psychological benefit(s) does the cuddlee receive?

    I don’t know but I received a secret decoder ring from my only virtual cuddle. It spelled out “Drink more Ovaltine and cuddle with me virtually again.” Great advice.

  • KnightlyCuddlesKnightlyCuddles

    @TheFunCartel So there was NO physical contact and YET you earned a prize? Well done.

  • pmvinespmvines

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited October 2024

    There is a great deal of information about this, although it isn't well organised. Start with the sticky thread at the top of the Professional Cuddling board:

    The origin of the confusion is the false belief that a cuddle is primarily a physical experience. This is the view of absolutely everybody who hasn't thought about it, including me at one time. However it turns out that a cuddle is not primarily physical .... it is primarily emotional: you don't cuddle people you can't stand.

    A well-run virtual cuddle (which sadly I suspect to be relatively rare) seeks to and does replicate many of the effects of a physical cuddle and can be startlingly beneficial. And astonishingly similar to a physical cuddle. Yes, the adoption of cuddle positions can be part of this.

    A virtual cuddle is NOT the same as a regular Zoom call, online chat, or online companionship.
    Similarly, you may use Zoom for both a job interview and a late night chat with your partner on a business trip, but they are not the same thing at all.

    (The Companionship industry is old and entirely platonic, but for some reason not well known. It has thrived, in a small way, for centuries and continues to do so. Think Rent-a-friend or individual tour guides for a citybreak. There are also a very few professionals who offer a texting service, exchanging social messages several times a day with the client. This can be greatly valued by people who would not otherwise receive any messages at all.)

    Some professionals offer virtual cuddles, some don't. Of those that do, often they are actually offering online companionship, not cuddling. This is an excellent and valuable service, and allowed by the site as a sideline, but it isn't the same thing. Such professionals are not scammers, just insufficiently informed (and often relatively new to the job). It is wise to enquire in detail about what the session is likely to involve to make sure you get what you need.

    Professionals charge whatever they like, but most who offer virtual cuddling do so at around half or two-thirds of their standard rate. It's just as much work and just as hard for them as cuddling in person, if not more so, but there is no travelling or venue preparation and no physical risk. In general the professional would host the virtual meeting but it doesn't really matter.

    This is an excellent and perfectly fair question which is why I have answered at length. We have a had problem in the past with negative and aggressive posts attacking virtual cuddling, coming from people who seem unable to distinguish between "I haven't done it" and "it doesn't exist". Fortunately that era appears to be over.

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    I’ll just say that the majority of my cuddlers that book video chats find it to be very beneficial for them in many ways:

    Maybe I’m too far away but they still want to get to know me

    Creating a deeper connection with someone (which is a big component to what the site is all about) through conversation.

    Alleviates any worry that the person you are chatting with through messages is a genuine person.

    Enjoying more than just a conversation, be it video games, yoga, word games or a companion to have by their side while they have a nap or go to bed.

    I understand the site is about physical cuddling, but I think one of the biggest reasons this site was made was for people to make connections, regardless of how.

  • KnightlyCuddlesKnightlyCuddles

    @CuddleDuncan thanks for that .....yes lengthy reply......but you did seem to touch on all my talking points.

    You forgot to mention that in a Virtual Cuddle the cuddler or cuddlee would not have to worry about hygiene :o

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @KnightlyCuddles 🤣🤣 That is a VERY good point!

  • KnightlyCuddlesKnightlyCuddles

    @Sheena123 Valid points; thank you. As I tried to state there are many reasons for someone wanting/needing a Virtual cuddle.

    Personally, without physical touch-- it just seems to be a conversation.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @KnightlyCuddles

    Personally, without physical touch-- it just seems to be a conversation.

    Ah, but that's the trick. If it's done right, it really, truly isn't 'just a conversation': it's a type of cuddle.

    Yes, I have done it, with more than one person.

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    @KnightlyCuddles oh I see, yea, I don’t call it a virtual cuddle. A lot of people have voiced very negative opinions on that name. It’s not one that I use anyways. I call it like it is: video chat.

  • KnightlyCuddlesKnightlyCuddles

    @CuddleDuncan Ahhhhhhhhhh Grasshopper, I am but a Newbie in the cuddle landscape but very open to listening and learning from those who paved the path

  • KnightlyCuddlesKnightlyCuddles

    @Sheena123 .......nods and jots down Video Chat ! (exact-a-mundo)

  • BrianOceanBrianOcean

    @KnightlyCuddles

    This really is a great post and I have never understood this type of setup for the reasons you nicely presented.

    To each is own and if it works for both parties-more power to them.

    I have been contacted by several Pros asking if I would like a virtual cuddle so obviously some members are doing it.

    To your point about it not being a cuddle- that can't be debated-it's not a cuddle-it's a meeting. Some people are lonely and having company in this format may make them feel comfort but I always found it a head scractcher to call it a "virtual cuddle" since the cuddle part is not taking place.

    The benefits of oxytocin release take place during touch-which is why most people joined the site in the first place.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @BrianOcean it is true that oxytocin can be produced by the right kind of touch. However, oxytocin is not fully understood, and it can be produced in a wide variety of other circumstances.

    A virtual cuddle explicitly seeks to replicate as much of the experience of a physical cuddle as possible, and may use touch to do that. Is it the same thing as a physical cuddle? No. Can it get surprisingly close? Yes. In fact the first time I did it I was shocked at how close it was, having previously had much the same view as you.

    Remember also that in many cases the correct comparison is not with a real cuddle: it's with nothing at all.

  • KnightlyCuddlesKnightlyCuddles

    @BrianOcean thanks for the comments. I think at the end of the day it will be an option for those that for whatever reason prefer to Virtually cuddlemeet (new word) and that is just fine.

    Now if only the Pros would change their wording from Virtual cuddle

  • TxTomTxTom

    @KnightlyCuddles
    What about using the term "mind meld"?

    "A mind meld is a deep understanding or connection between people, where they think as one and understand each other intuitively."

  • MonkeyNeedsAHugMonkeyNeedsAHug

    I experience excessive cortisol levels and a chronic lack of dopamine, (conditions shared by many with ADHD and PTSD.) Along with a number of lifestyle adaptations, medication helps me with dopamine. And cuddles, (as a mechanism for oxytocin delivery, I gather) helps me tremendously with the latter.

    I was skeptical / curious as to whether
    I might capture some of the benefits of cuddling through virtual cuddling. I can’t say I’ve determined that conclusively. But I’m glad I tried it.
    For others, who are curious enough to try it for themself, there are providers out there whose virtual rate is steeply discounted.

    @RedFox16

  • KnightlyCuddlesKnightlyCuddles
    edited October 2024

    @TxTom well for a moment I thought you were going Mr. Spock on me with a Vulcan Mind meld but that suggestion is as good as any.

  • KnightlyCuddlesKnightlyCuddles

    @MonkeyNeedsAHug I like that you are open to trying new experiences and see if they can become part of your routine. Good luck

  • [Deleted User]cuddlebuddee420 (deleted user)

    Seems like something that started with Covid. To me, seems pretty silly and I wouldn’t bother. To each their own

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    I wouldn't say I'm confused, I'd just say I'm not interested in.

    For myself. I can see how it might be helpful for some.

  • KnightlyCuddlesKnightlyCuddles

    At the end of the day, whether 'we' think its a silly activity OR fully believe in the power of a video connection--- all that matters is that it might be beneficial to both the Pro and the client and NO animals were hurt so kum-by-ya for all

  • BearBear

    I haven't done video, but I've done audio and texting cuddles for friends. Friends who are in other states. I basically describe what I would do in person. A lot of times I also describe massaging and such because just regular cuddling sometimes just holding someone and being held and not a lot after that. Some people don't feel a thing and some people feel as if I'm there in the room talking to them and experiencing almost the same as if they were. So I get it in regards to virtual cuddling. I've also done virtual hugs to people for emotional support on a daily basis. As well as virtual hugs to support somebody in Hold space if they're having a rough time.

  • Mare_BearMare_Bear

    A virtual cuddle when done right make the receiver feel like they have been touched. Although it is self touch, with eye gazing and some psychological tricks, it makes the mind feel like a cuddle has happened. And when the pandemic was on and and that's all I had access to, it was very valuable to me and for my clients.

    A cuddle pro will give you attention, pay attention to your wants and needs. Done virtually it is still very soothing.

  • waynewvwaynewv

    I agree with @Sheena123 , 100%
    It is very nice to get to know a person more

  • Larry007Larry007

    It's not cuddling--by definition of cuddling. Everything to the contrary is a lie.

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