It's come up for me a few times recently and I'm just wondering what everyone else is doing for keeping time for cuddles. Also who's responsibility is the timer ? Client or the Pro (in that situation)
The pro is responsible. If they go over the allotted time, they can't force the client to pay extra other than what was agreed upon when making the booking.
I didn't cast a vote because I feel there is joint responsibility. Maybe a little but more so on the pro side but the client needs to show responsibility and respect also.
GREAT QUESTION This has come up with me before and it became awkward.
I definitely think it’s better for the Pro to set an alarm 10 minutes before so she can let the client know, and offer the option to extend…. As opposed to that being on the client.
If neither is monitoring time there is certainly that awkwardness of all of the sudden one of you realize that you’ve gone way over and the Pro would think well hey that’s extra time that should be extra fee. And then the client says hey I booked you for 90 minutes and that’s all I wanted to pay for. Both sides would have a legit stance but I thinks it’s incumbent on the Pro being the service provider.
The service provider is responsible, not the client. Cuddling or not. I have a device that interferes with timers. Hit me up in DM if interested.
I like to cuddle near black holes because time slows down.
I have been using a special playlist that is one hour long specifically so I can keep track of time but I was just wondering what others use. I have used an actual timer but this gives me the information ( certain songs begins - i know I'm at the half way point or a few songs from wrapping etc)
It's 100% the pro responsibility. Just put yourself in another situation where two people are interacting. If you go to a math tutor place that allocates an hour for learning but they do 65 mins, that's the tutor place's thing. Same for anything else I can think of.
I’m a pro I personally don’t set a timer… but I also don’t expect payment if we go over… I just shred it up to I was having a good time.
I don’t think it would be right of a pro to not set a timer and then expect the other person to pay…
@KittyPukka i like your thought. It’s a reasonable and non jarring way to keep track.
@gem7 I did cast a vote for pro, but agree it’s shared responsibility.
When I host, there's a clock on the wall in my room. When I'm at someone else's space, I wear a watch. No fuss at all
this topic has obviously come up before.
I definitely expect the "timers make it all about business" responses to be coming very soon. This will inevitably be followed by " no one should charge for cuddling " which seems to make it's way into every thread.
I would treat this the same as a massage as far as when the session ends.
I don't know too many recipients of a massage who announce the session is over. It is always the massage therapist.
It seems the Cuddler should be the one to announce the end of the session -or some guys may just hang around.
I agree a music timer is much more pleasant and tactful way to end a session.
Most of us know when the hour/session is over and this can be handled gracefully on both sides.
A noisy timer would be a little distasteful.
When i was a pro i allways set a timer. It would start repeating " Time's up you pervert. Time to get up and leave"
Lawyers keep track of time, and charge their clients accordingly. So do massage therapists and accountants. And electricians, sex workers, car mechanics, musicians and tutors. And babysitters, driving instructors - I mean I could go on.
Why would cuddle professionals be different?
In reality, a cuddle professional not managing the time properly is in principle abuse of the client and is one of the commoner sources of harm being done to clients by professionals.
My understanding is that the most common techniques for time management are a soft and quiet timer that goes off typically ten minutes before the end of the session; and a music or sound based system that allows the professional to announce a kind and gentle ten minute warning.
a cuddle professional not managing the time properly is in principle abuse of the client and is one of the commoner sources of harm being done to clients by professionals.
Huh?
I've had Pros stay beyond the scheduled time.
I must admit, I definitely don't feel harmed.
Yeah, some levels of sensitivity are irrational and I'd say that saying a cuddle pro abused and harms someone by not not managing tine properly is certainly in that category.
Maybe he means they are trying to charge for the amount of time it has gone over?
If it's the PRO's choice for going a little not expecting additional payment because it was a mutually enjoyable platonic session does the reasoning really have to be so technical?
@dennis22554 - The pro absolutely can go longer, but she cannot expect an additional payment from the client unless that was agreed upon prior to extending the session.
I personally think it's just another case of the know it alls myself but eh
In my training and approach, asking oneself "Who is this for?" helps create some clarity in these situational questions. In a client/pro dynamic, the session is primarily for the benefit of the client. It helps to name the relationship dynamic which is this case is that the pro is offering a service to the client.
That being said, I definitely think it is the pro's responsibility as a practitioner to track and tend to the time boundaries and communicate clear agreements with the client they're with about that and be accountable to those themselves. In a mutual dynamic, I'd say that's mutual responsibility as it's for the benefit of both people. We're human, of course and can loose track of time. But generally that's how I see it.
I try to ask clients if they'd like a time reminder or check in's during and use a clock I can see. And I gently let them know when we're about 15 minutes out from the end to check in with how they'd like to end the touch portion of the session to gradually but clearly transition.
To try to charge for time that wasn't agreed upon ahead unless the option to extend is not okay ethically, as it can take advantage of the other person and the altered state that can happen with touch. Clients should be able to trust that their cuddle pro is taking care of that & holding that boundary so they can relax into their experience & enjoy themselves.
I didn't see any one comment saying it was the clients responsibility, i see shared ( i can somewhat see shared but not really). I'm kind of curious to what the rational for the client would be, i see there was at least one vote in th poll.
My thought that the client has no responsibility to cost beyond what was initially agreed upon. Now if the client isn't starting their intention from the door i can see shared responsibility. I've entered a cuddle only planning on an hour and deciding to longer if it was available. Luckily it was. But beyond that i wasn't going to pay. It did last a little longer and she did not ask for extended time. I just know from now on I'd walk in asking for 2 hours with her.
@pmvines I 💯 agree about the irrationality of that mindset. Also about the know-it-all 😆. I don't know how I would ever survive if the smartest guy in the room didn't guide my way with such sage council through every single thread.
I have never set an alarm myself. If a none Pro, then we just cuddle for as long as we agree and don’t bother with a timer. If a Pro, they always set there phone as the timer and I always remind them also. I once had a 1 hour cuddle with a Pro and we both forgot to set a timer and we both fell asleep and went over by an hour. I offered to pay for the extra hour but she refused, she said she enjoyed it so much and she felt it was her mistake to not set her phone.
The pro is supposed to be holding space for the client, they are 100% responsible for keeping track of time and being "on" so the client is able to relax as much as possible - that is literally why they are paying you. Give a five or ten minute warning alarm so the transition is gentle.
For my safety, I always have my husband or a friend aware of my cuddles which means they know when I start and they know when I end. So if I didn’t set a timer and went well over the time, my hubby or my friend would think something bad happened. I have so many cuddles that are so enjoyable or relaxing or we just blab on about any and everything, that I have no choice but to set a timer, or else we would be two hours minimum past the designated time lol
I use my phone and it’s a soothing quiet melody. Other times, I use one of my many cuddle playlists. Each playlist has my brothers music in it which is super chill music. But I know when I hear one of my brothers songs, it’s at a 45 minute marker.
@ReltvlyCanshes The booking proposal on the site is the client's intention. Paying ahead of the cuddle, as per the site policy, is the intention. Extending a cuddle for money is on the pro, since she would need to collect the money before continuing. And in order to collect the amount due, there would need to be an agreement on the time extension and amount (there could be a discount involved.)
Yeah that's what i said. I was asking about the counter point
@KittyPukka im still new to cuddling I love the idea of a playlist! I’m getting to start implementing it do you let your cuddler know ahead of time the playlist will end when the session is over. I feel so awkward when I have to say hey times up 😬😬
@Cozy_Soul I started saying this will be our last song as a heads up. It's been working great
I also use a cuddle playlist and this song is the last song works out really well