Hi I recently found this and seen a couple of discussion questions , if anyone could help what are the chances of finding someone to cuddle with here and if you have how was your experience?
Howdy, Newcomer! There are some REALLY COOL people here, so with a little work on your part, you've got a good chance of finding one or two (or few!), depending on your location..
Everyone here stands on our own two legs, though, so you'll have to go take a read through the Frequently Asked Questions thread, stickied at the top with the light blue banner! Reading through some of those threads will answer most of your questions and help you get oriented to the site. Also, just to give you a clearer idea of what Platonic Cuddling is actually like, you might want to read the accounts that other cuddlers have posted about their experiences-- in the stickied thread, up top, about "Cuddling Discussions and Resources" There's even a stickied post where you can actually HEAR some of us on recordings!!! That blew me away!! lolol
It's kind of great that you have the courage to jump right on out here and swim in the forum, though! Looking forward to your sharing insights, humor, and Life Lessons with us, as you work toward finding suitable Cuddle Buddies!!
It's mostly a crap shoot. Some people like me have been years several years and yet to have a single cuddle, and others have been here only a month or so and have had several cuddles. Best thing is to just try and see what happens.
If you're looking for an enthusiast, you could be waiting a long time. Male enthusiasts outnumber women on this site 16-1.
I’d recommend it as a supplement and not a central component of your search. As one place to invest time (among a balance of others) this site can be beneficial.
But if this is your sole means of trying to find cuddles, I’d predict your chances for a successful outcome are low. Be wary of checking in here too often or spending too much time here.
The same dopamine response people get from social media and dating apps is in play here. My understanding is that it can trick us into dependence on activities that do not help us.
How likely? You're probably more likely to get struck by lightning
I find about 1 enthusiast cuddle per year. If I worked harder, I could probably double or triple that. But still, it's not much.
Understanding Boundaries & Etiquette
How I found happiness on Cuddle Comfort (man seeking enthusiast women)
How I Found Happiness on CC Part 2: The First Meeting
It is easier to believe
I don't invest the time required to foster an enthusiast cuddle relationship.
That is on me.
So I book Pros and have had great success at getting my needs temporarily met.
I live in Los Angeles which is THE largest populated county in the United States of America, with well over 10,000,000 people.
(For better or worse) I probably have one of most detailed profiles on the Cuddle Comfort platform.
I have 20 stellar, 5 star karma reviews.
I send a thoughtful message to every new member of interest within a 5,617,912 mile perimeter.
And it’s still a needle in a haystack…
That’s why about a year or so ago I finally acquiesced to using professionals.
I think often times there is way too much emphasis over finding a cuddle friend and instead should be working on finding a friend who might end up at some point wanting to cuddle. The biggest mistake people make on here is to assume they can just go messaging total strangers and immediately start cuddling with them. That's off putting and desperate to be honest. It comes across as super needy, in a what can you do for me instead of how can we connect and foster a friendship based on rapport and trust kind of way. There are lots of folks on here I consider as friends, many of whom I will likely never meet. However those of whom I do cross paths with end up being the best cuddle friends ever. And that is because we are already friends just meeting up and are already super comfortable with each other as humans.
@pmvines This is a familiar conversation, because the site itself promotes the idea of not only platonic cuddling, but non-intimate cuddling, like ordering off of DoorDash.
Which, of course, is not how any of this works.
@CharlesGrove Well common sense on how human nature and connections work should be what you go by, not by any words on a website page. These are people, not potato chips in a vending machine. But to your point, there are lots of amazing cuddle pros who folks can see as well, and they are readily available to meet your cuddle needs.
I do agree that the wording on the homepage should be changed. It's not good as a business statement to over promise and under deliver. It would also potentially lead to less infighting about how women get so many messages from men wanting to cuddle right away and men getting mad that women don't want to cuddle with them right away. But that's for @Mark to determine since he's the sheriff of this here town.
@CharlesGrove You will probably feel more reassured about the reality of meeting someone from CC to cuddle if you pay attention to what @pmvines writes. IMO he is 100% correct Expectations from overly needy & entitled people for me to instantly be available to them and take care of their cuddling needs without building any kind of connection first just makes me a little nauseous. And pretty much most women of any age would react the same. Women are not obligated to serve you up some cuddles. They have to want to. You absolutely need to offer something in return to inspire interest from a stranger!
Don't think about what you want.
Think about what you can give.
Ask not what CC can do for you.
Ask what you can do for CC.
I've had cuddle offers from a few people expressing they want me to forego any charges and be a cuddle enthusiast just for them, as they aren't inclined to hire a professional cuddle provider. I declined to acquiesce.
@pmvines As you probably know, I am certainly not against professionals.
I simply don’t hire them because of my personal experiences.
@g_w_t_w I appreciate the advice, but I’m only here for the pen pals.
@CharlesGrove Which means to me that you’re being sarcastic and not caring much about the impression you make here - which sends a pretty negative vibe. Women read the forums.
My best cuddlers (and I’ve had quite a few experiences here) are the ones who are open & kind, caring and not hiding who they are. I think you’ve gotten good feedback so hope it helps.
@g_w_t_w Honestly, I have pen pals here that I still catch up with.
But I am in a small town, on the fairly distant outskirts of a medium town in a small state.
There are not, and have not been, enthusiast women cuddlers in my area.
Very occasionally a new enthusiast woman will appear, but invariably creates an account with no photos (no one blames anyone for bringing safe), no information, and no bio. And tend not to come back online.
Again, completely understandable.
And, personally, I don’t approach others. I check profiles out of habit, and boredom, but I only respond if someone reaches out to me, or in conversation (such as it is) here in the forums.
I gave up on trying to “impress” anyone a long time ago.
If politeness, kindness, and honesty don’t impress someone, then everything else is sort of pointless, yeah?
I declined to acquiesce.
@Auroradream That is a lack of respect for them to expect preferential treatment. Glad you stuck to your guns. I mean I wouldn’t ask the kid who cuts my grass to do it for free.
And thank you for being a positive light on the forums today. You disprove the notion that humans are hopeless and everything is pointless. 🙄
@CharlesGrove I hear others express they have issues finding people to cuddle who share your sentiment about not reaching out to anybody or trying to put a good foot forward. I don't say this to be judgemental or to question your reality, just asking can you see how for others who hear these complaints about issues from folks having trouble connecting and to hear that they don't bother to try or even message anybody can be really hard to understand the logic of ? It seems counter productive and kinda puts all of the emotional labor on the other person, which has been expressed by countless others that it is off putting and you will never connect with anybody like that. I just personally don't get it.
@pmvines
I have connected with plenty of pen pals here.
As for “emotional labor”, I have no intention of doing any thing remotely like that for a complete internet stranger.
After we have chatted (messaged) for a while, sure. But right off the jump? No.
And, as to only responding, and not reaching out, I am simply doing what our culture has told me to do.
I am letting others exist, and asking nothing from them. Isn’t that what we are supposed to be doing now?
Probably around 25% per year in my experience? But it depends on what your conditions are and such. If you're busy that will reduce your chances, if you won't meet up with people who don't tell their SO's that will reduce your chances too. If you don't want to meet up with people who keep ignoring your boundaries and don't listen that will reduce your chances too.
Some things I am pretty okay with reducing my chances. Of course, I am currently at 0% chance for meeting new people as my time+cuddles are all taken up at the moment,
@TheFunCartel ☺️awh that's very kind!
Alright well if that's what works for you then I'll take your word for it
I don't think anyone has an idea of what the odds are when it comes to you finding a cuddle buddy.
As a guy, expect to pay. You can find as many cuddle buddies as you want if the price is right.
People will tell you it's not possible to find a cuddle friend but I have met some great cuddle friends on here And I'm in Alabama of all places so not really a huge cuddle community here. I think it's a matter of misery loves company sometimes and you just don't see too many people on here talking about all their successes because they are busy networking and making connections and meeting people. But it does for sure happen, you just have to put in effort. However more people than not seem happy to not do anything other than wallow. But it is definitely possible to find cuddle friends on here. I mean, I'm in Alabama, overweight, average looking and pushing 50 so If I can do it so can others...
Oh my goodness what a showoff.... Honestly get over yourself
Sorry, just offering a different experience and perspective. Nobody wants to really change their situation though, as is evidenced by your reaction. Not my fault, you keep doing you whatever works.
@Melancholy You have also posted the same thing for years about how you have no interest in making an effort or changing anything. The only advice you offer to others is that it's futile to bother to care, and you've been spinning those same wheels for a long time now. And you get defensive and mad when somebody doesn't want to join your pity party. What exactly do you have to offer to anybody that is useful in terms of feedback, other than your own personal apathy? You can be mad at me and others who don't share your perspective all you want but what exactly are you doing that's helpful?