Useful self introductory message

PolarMtnHuman95PolarMtnHuman95
edited January 2025 in General

So just wondering, what would be more useful ways for me to introduce myself when sending the first message to a female enthusiast non-pro user/cuddler (that doesn’t sound boring and that would raise the chances of her responding instead of just looking at my profile and never responding) besides the following opening messages:
1. “Hi, how are you doing? My name is ____ by the way.”
2. “Hi, how are you doing and how is your day going today so far? My name is _____ by the way.”

And what would be good interesting ways to keep the conversation on going? Is asking about hobbies or favorite food, color, or favorite places to travel to, or favorite sports a great way to get it to keep on going? Is also asking if they like to hear interesting facts or jokes (of course, only clean and appropriate ones) a good and useful way to keep the conversation on going?

But yeah, men (especially those who did cuddle with female enthusiast non-pro cuddlers/users), how do you do those things yourself?

And women, how would you suggest men to do these things as asked in the questions to get you to be more interested in responding instead of appearing boring and feeling just not responding to him?

Comments

  • [Deleted User]gem7 (deleted user)

    When I introduce myself I immediately start talking about global warming. Its a real ice breaker.

  • CuddlesComfort8CuddlesComfort8

    I would look at her profile and see if you can find something you relate to in some way or could ask her about. It’s how I write to potential clients when I see they’ve viewed my profile. The ones who don’t have anything on there are a little trickier, so I don’t write to everyone.

  • JubalJubal

    I wouldn't bother with null statements like "how are you doing". Based on forum feedback I've seen over the past couple of years, it's not going to make a positive impact. Probably better to start by asking about something relevant from her profile - a common interest might be a good starting point.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Random off the cuff comments about something in profile or something they said in forums is usually a good ice breaker

  • cheeseboycheeseboy Mod

    There isn't a one size fits all approach here - especially when contacting enthusiasts - the key thing to remember is that enthusiasts are often bombarded by messages and you have the one preview line in their inbox to stand out amongst the dozens of unread messages. A preview line of "hey" or "how are you" will get skimmed past. Something relevant to their interests will grab their attention - like if they list big bang theory as their favorite TV show, a first line of "Sheldon or Raj - who would you pick in a ... " -- this shows that you read their profile and have something in common to connect with. A bit more work but may also produce results.

    The approach for getting a response from pros is a bit different - answer all of the logistics questions in a first message and put time & date options on the table right away. When you're available (weekday evenings), how long, who is hosting and where (city). If you mention specific days of the week, do it with clarity (Monday January 30 is more clear than "tomorrow"). Give them a few days advance notice if possible - same day sessions rarely come together. Including pictures if your profile doesn't have them will greatly increase the chances of a response.

    In all cases on a platonic site, avoid pet names (beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, baby) and pick-up lines. They can send the wrong impression of your intentions.

  • CuddleHrVCuddleHrV

    In general, I agree with previous comments about referring to things in their profile that are relatable, or possibly in the pictures they provide. Then if I host, give a brief "setting the scene" of the environment I provide.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesGrove (deleted user)

    Also, snails and whelks.

    Because who isn’t into snails and whelks?

  • JuliaRaeJuliaRae

    It’s the profile, not the opener, for me. I read it and if I think we’d connect organically, that’s what piques my interest. If you’re really looking to have a session soon, pro is the best bet. So it’s not necessarily that you’re not saying the right thing.

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc
    edited January 2025

    @gem7 That was very funny. I literally LOL’d.

    @cuddlecomfort8 ditto on that. Show that you’ve actually READ her profile and see if you can find a common denominator that resonates with you and roll with that. Maybe something like hey I am cuckoo for cocoa puffs too about Seinfeld! I’ve seen every single episode. Or hey pic #4 is really interesting, what’s the backstory on that? Whatever you do, try to be authentic about it. Don’t give a cheap compliment, grasp for straws or feign interest on some benign detail. Work with what’s there, and if nothing is there focus on your own value proposition.

    Things NOT to say:

    1) Hey I like apples too? We’re a perfect fit let’s cuddle!

    2) I see you also have children, and although I sorta love most of mine, the whole supervised visit thing is getting to be a drag.

    3) Or worse, you’ve got great taste in jewelry; are you judgey about ankle bracelets?

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    “Yo” always “Yo”. It works everytime with people I do not want to cuddle with. And now you know if I ever said yo to you.

    If I say “Yo, whaddup” it means there is still a chance if you play your cards right.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
  • [Deleted User]couch_cuddler (deleted user)

    I am not a professional and I'm always far more inclined to respond to someone who responds to or references something in my profile. Be genuine! Whether you are nervous or not, just be yourself. Talk to me as you would someone you want to interact with.

  • AchterbahnAchterbahn
    edited January 2025

    I'm no expert and I don't reach out to too many enthusiasts, but I currently have a 100% response rate for the enthusiasts that I have contacted. (Granted, that's only 2)

    I went back and looked at both of my initial messages and they were both about 3 paragraphs, made it clear that I had both read and understood their profile and I shared the pictures I have of myself in my private album here.

    Neither of those messages used the word "cuddle" because that comes way later in the process once you know them.

    I also have my profile filled out to give a good overview of who I am.

    Finally, I don't reach out to people who are looking for something that's not me. If they say in their profile they want someone aged 35-45, I don't bother contacting them. Reaching out to them is just a waste of time for both of us and would just demonstrate that I didn't actually read their profile.

  • DarlingNikkiiDarlingNikkii

    As a woman, I wouldn’t respond to your messages as a pro or enthusiast. I personally hate small talk, and like others have mentioned - a little effort goes a long way. I don’t want to get trapped in a circular conversation that has no meaning.

  • TinaPlaysTinaPlays

    @gem7 round of applause for you. You both made me laugh and you gave a great example of every I like to see in an intro message: personality

    Genetically I like when someone has clearly looked at what is in my profile. If they don’t have anything / anything useful, maybe mention some of the things that are important to you/ask what is important for them to feel like it’s a good match.

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