Frustrations with this site

CuddlyCatLadyCuddlyCatLady
in Pro Cuddling

I joined this months ago but I don't use it often because I feel unsafe. I think more should be done to keep cuddlers safe, I just had to block and report a man who I've already blocked and reported because he made a new account after being banned... what's the point of the ban system if someone can easily get around it? My first cuddle my client kept putting his hands under the blanket. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about what he was doing. I genuinely like cuddling and human touch however my safety is paramount and it just doesn't feel like that's really taken seriously by clients or by the site. What can I do?

Comments

  • [Deleted User]FriendlyFemale (deleted user)

    Maybe explore different sites?

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery
    edited July 2024

    This site is not created as a safe space - that is not its purpose. While the mod team does their best, since the site is set up for easy accessibility over security this is not likely to change any time soon. The other cuddle sites I've explored are no better - this is an industry wide problem.

    It helps me at least to keep in mind that this site is more akin to Craigslist or FB marketplace than to a company that hires cuddlers. They make no claims of providing safety, their purpose is to act as a means of connection between individuals - that's all. Knowing that my safety is entirely within my own hands helps me prepare for meeting people and shapes how I handle vetting potential cuddle partners.

    Could the site have more security measures in place? Absolutely, but people also tend to rely on the site to provide services it never claims to offer (i.e. safe space, pro/client vetting, etc.).

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear Mod

    Unfortunately there is not much to be done to people that keep rejoining except to ban them. Please report them when they contact you. There are systems in place to catch people that make new accounts, but those systems are not perfect. Us moderators rely on your reports to catch them. Please be vigilant and report them when you recognize them. If you are uncertain, please reach out to us. I am always willing to look into it for you.

  • TxTomTxTom

    Unfortunately there is not much to be done to people that keep rejoining except to ban them.

    I disagree. I think a subscription-based site, or a one time sign-up fee, would significantly reduce, though not completely eliminate, duplicate sign ups.

  • [Deleted User]FriendlyFemale (deleted user)

    Pros already pay a fee per appointment, so an additional fee will more than likely deter accounts as a whole...not just the duplicates.

  • OverTheMooonOverTheMooon
    edited July 2024

    Yeah, theres nothing a site can do to reduce disgust. You could leave bad karma. Cuddling with strangers is an inherently 'risky' experience, for both people really. Maybe it's not for you, if you're feeling unsafe with strangers. Especially if it's just the cuddling part... of cuddling with the guys. It sounds like it's what makes you feel unsafe.

    You can offer to cuddle outdoors, or in public places maybe. As far as blocking, there's really nothing that can be done. Just a consequence of the internet
    If you like cuddling, you can always cuddle trusted friends :)

    Oh, and just in general, it's less risky to engage with people with some karma already

  • TxTomTxTom

    @FriendlyFemale I would suggest once Pro status is approved, the 15% session fee is reduced or waived until the sign up fee is recovered.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @CuddlyCatLady
    If you have good reason to believe a client is touching themselves under the blanket, or anything else inappropriate, you can end the session and leave, without giving a refund.

    As for what you can do; screen potential clients more stringently, go over boundaries at the beginning of the session, and keep reporting anyone who violates the rules, for starters. 🫂

    @TxTom posted: "a one time sign-up fee, would significantly reduce, though not completely eliminate, duplicate sign ups."

    💯 I will never understand how easy sign-up and the most members possible can be excused as more important than any modicum of safety measure.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

    Happy summer vibes! 🐬 🎹

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs Mod
    edited July 2024

    @CuddlyCatLady This is going to sound counterintuitive - and I mention this reluctantly as comments on pricing are generally discouraged here - but - you probably need to raise your prices. You might be attracting the kind of clients who get a kick out of pushing limits. These folks pounce on newer less experienced pros - especially if they are priced lower than what other pros are at. Best strategy is to be priced right close to what other pros in your area are charging.

  • JubalJubal

    @CuddlyCatLady I'll second what @RadiantHugs just told you. Personally, most of the pros who I've met are $80-$100, and after the site fees come out, $40 per hour honestly seems too low (you have to take into account your time committed to the meeting both before and after).

  • [Deleted User]FriendlyFemale (deleted user)

    @CuddlyCatLady I understand your lower pricing strategy because I, too, am a pro who cannot host. I am not sure raising your prices is what needs to be done. It's just a matter of being hyper vigilant and trusting your gut when a client gives you the ick initially

  • calineurcalineur
    edited July 2024

    It seems to me that safe and enjoyable cuddles occur on a regular basis, and that those safe and enjoyable cuddle meetings aren't only due to the site involving itself to control those meetings. Perhaps other factors play a role: location and general attitude towards cuddling, culture, education (not just secular education), even age of the involved parties, et cetera. (Coincidentally, I once met a cuddler from this site in the Bronx, NY. I didn't feel all that safe 😬. But it could have been the fact that I didnt know the area well).

    Regarding paying a site fee: I would possibly be open to paying a fee to be on this site if there were a sufficient amount of female cuddlers who were also seeking to cuddle for the sake of cuddling AND they were ones that I desired to cuddle (and I was one they wanted to cuddle 😊). It does seem to work at least to some extent on other sites and applications that have similar objectives, though definitely imperfectly.

    In my opinion, while cuddling is completely natural and exists to add to the intimacy and enjoyment of human relations, cuddling with strangers, and especially cuddling with strangers in exchange for money, seems unnatural and, as such, is expected to come with inherent and unavoidable risks.

    All that other stuff aside, though, as mentioned, changing the price could possibly impact the experience from using the site.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    As a former Pro here, I agree with @RadiantHugs & @Jubal

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited July 2024

    Safety is taken very seriously by the site. Dozens of people are banned every day. Totally preventing banned people from creating new accounts is not possibleL that isn't how the internet works. In fact the site does an remarkable job of detecting banned re-joiners, and a significant number of them - I would guess most - are banned almost immediately without even being Reported.

    Part of the ethos of the site is that everybody is welcome, everybody deserves a cuddle. Having any kind of subscription immediately excludes those with no money .... who probably need a cuddle more than most.

    Cuddle Comfort is a social media site and has zero responsbility for our safety. It is never, ever going to take on any such responsbility - that would be extreme foolishness and commercial suicide.

    From the terms of service:
    Cuddle Comfort cannot and does not assure that it is safe for you to have direct contact with other users of this Website

    under the blanket

    Professional cuddling best practice is that blankets or coverings of any kind are reserved only for the most trusted repeat clients.

    What can I do?

    Learn how to prevent trouble before it happens in most cases, and how to end the session when a client breaks the terms of service. Unfortunately, it is in the nature of the business that an unpleasant incident is going to happen to nearly every professional cuddler sooner or later. I do know very experienced professionals who have never had one, but they are the exception not the rule. Their hallmark is a ruthless commitment to boundaries, training and professionalism generally.

    These threads may be helpful:

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    Because of this thread, I started thinking about the reality of cuddling with strangers. I have done it now for more than 2 years and had so many sessions with people I barely knew, strangers.
    We have to be so trusting, but definitely need to do extreme screening in advance. I think one of the best ways is having a video chat before meeting. You can tell a lot from body language, eye contact, and whether the photo matches the person in the video. And if a potential client/cuddler refuses to do a video - that’s a huge red flag.
    It’s an extra step, but adds safety.
    *adding that I rarely took that step, but I used intuitive other measures, and I’ve been very fortunate, Over time and with experience, you learn what to watch out for.
    Being alone with a stranger, who you just met a few minutes ago, in a private home could be considered pretty risky. Yet I’ve done it hundreds of times
    Even on dating sites, I would never have met & been alone with someone. I just met online for the first time.. Kind of crazy when I think about it, But this process has worked so well for so many people.

  • ChrissyNoirChrissyNoir

    Following ! !!

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    Too bad the site doesn’t simply ask for a photo of someone’s ID to keep on file … that would probably detour a lot of “bad” behavior and also cancellations. Plus it would make it almost impossible to make a duplicate profile if they have to show ID

  • CuddleBoostCuddleBoost

    sage91436, this site would save sooooo much waisted time moderating the duplicate accounts with a mandatory ID.

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