@Sheena123 a categorisation system that didn't include you would obviously be stupid! I think you're probably a Therapist. The technicality that you've never done a training is just that, a technicality. I doubt you would learn much from doing one.
Awww shucks 🥰
"Cuddle Therapist" is a slippery slope to a lawsuit. Same with "Practitioner". Those are both typically reserved for medical professionals that require quite a bit of education and supervised practicum hours. Because of that association the term become misleading. Much like "Pro" is misleading. It would make far more sense if the "P" stood for "Paid"...
Anyway, what about:
Semiprofessional Relief Cuddle Provider (part-time, side hustle, etc.)
-and-
Professional Relief Cuddle Provider (serious about their role in the cuddle community, main/predominant source of income, years of experience and/or trainings, etc.)
Also, I don't know how the other terms are generally used across the pond, but (IMO) a couple come off as being somewhat derogatory.
@quixotic_life 👍👍💯 agree.
@quixotic_life — I really like ‘ Relief Cuddle Provider’ as a title which a “Pro” could take on in the cuddle community.
I see much validity in these classifications. However, I resent anyone being given the title of therapist or practitioner, even unofficially, in an activity that requires zero education, training, experience, or licensure. Therapists and practitioners have master’s or doctorate degrees and to practice in their field must be licensed and perform work only within their scope of professional competency or else it’s unethical. Getting paid to cuddle someone is not providing therapy or being a practitioner. This isn’t a knock on pros. Just giving people unofficial professional titles that haven’t been earned grinds my gears. 💁🏽♀️
I take the points about practitioner and therapist.
@quixotic_life I'm afraid I don't understand the meaning of 'relief' in this context.
Since neither “Cuddle Therapist” or “Cuddle Practitioner” are protected terms, I doubt there is a legal problem in using them. There may be some ethical problems, though.
Therapists and practitioners don’t necessarily have degrees. Massage therapists are a perfect example. That is a protected title in regulated (most) states in the U.S. but MTs are not degreed.
I do think it could be misleading to the public since it implies credentials that may not exist.
I think these categories define ways in which we perceive various cuddlers but since there is no protection for any of the titles, they are useless in practice since anyone can call themselves anything.
@quixotic_life "It would make far more sense if the "P" stood for "Paid"..."
I agree. Although I am sure some 'pros' here are well established in what they do and do so well. I can see "pro" giving someone the impression that the person knows a thing or two about what they're doing, when perhaps that may not be the case.
@quixotic_life I think that's a good clarification!
I am somewhere between a and b. I'm currently completing the cuddle sanctuary training program, but I don't have a psychotherapy background.
Pros have changed quite a bit over the years. In the beginning, it seemed that pros were more interesting in cuddling and money was just an added bonus. It seems far more about money now. I am not saying this applies to all pros but as I said, there has been a huge change.
@Morpheus not all pros, there are amazing pros but rare to find 1 of my pro supported me and helped me mentally https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/11925/how-cuddle-therapy-changed-my-life-and-become-positive-and-motivated-after-i-was-dead#latest
Money is nice because we all have to eat, but I can make money lots of different ways that aren't nearly as wonderful as cuddling.
A constructive conversation between my friends @xandriarain and @CuddleWho in the thread Seems EVERYONE wants paid to cuddle anymore reminded me of this unfinished thread, so I thought I'd dig it out.
This document is a work in progress and it is not finished. I do not stand by any of the terms or descriptions herein: in fact some of them are definitely not quite right, we just haven't figured out yet exactly what is right. Terminology is difficult because it has to work across the English-speaking world.
I haven't been able to amend this document to include every comment made in the thread because I haven't always been able to figure out how.
Your thoughts and suggestions please.
The purpose of this document is to provide a framework for talking about cuddling in a structured way. At present we have no established terminology for the different types of cuddle professional, or even agreement on what those types are. Mature professions have a vocabulary with defined (and even protected) terms, and this list is the first step in creating such terms for both the cuddling community and interested people outside it.
Note that these categories are determined more by the underlying attitude of the professional to cuddling, than what actually happens during a typical session. The category of a cuddler cannot be determined from their profile alone, their pre-session communication or even a single session; but only by their whole practice.
Boundaries between categories are not hard and fast, or even well defined. All cuddle sessions and relationships are individual, so a professional cuddler may be or appear to be in one category to a particular client, and a different category to another client. Order is not significant except that the first five are all valuable to the cuddle community, and the last three are not.
Moonlighter - Sees cuddling as a side-gig for a little bonus cash or just getting lots of cuddles. Fairly reliable and well-meaning, but may not really understand what they are doing. Most have only a brief profile, and while they can be any age they are more often young. Moonlighter and its subcategories (see below) form the largest group of cuddle professionals.
Opportunist professional - Is doing it for the money, pure and simple. A variant of the Moonlighter (above). Does not particularly care about cuddling or clients. May offer sexual services during the session for an additional fee, but does not offer sex itself and does not really see themselves as a sex worker. Usually a brief profile, possibly with a number of photos which are close to the boundaries of 'platonic'. One of the more common categories of professional cuddler in the USA.
Developing professional - Somebody who is in transition between categories (fairly common) or doesn't fit neatly into any one of them.
Cuddle Practitioner - May have completed a training course and commonly has a comprehensive profile. Competent and reliable professional with adequate boundaries, but doesn't have the depth of knowledge of a Cuddle Therapist (below). Frequently cuddles part-time but may be full-time.
Cuddle Therapist - Possibly has a background in a caring profession and is likely either to have completed at least one cuddle training course; and/or have considerable experience; and/or have training, certification or experience in related fields. Their practice may be informed by psychotherapy or other therapeutic modalities. Can talk intelligently about issues such as transference, is well-boundaried, and should provide a very safe and caring cuddle. Usually at least 25 years old, with a thoughtful and detailed profile. If they have been active on Cuddle Comfort for more than a few months, likely to have some good Karma.
Chaotic professional - Another variant of the Moonlighter (above), but is completely unsuited to professional cuddling (or indeed any personal service industry) and has has no concern for clients whatsoever. Likely to have little or no written profile and be living a somewhat chaotic lifestyle. Unboundaried. May not return messages, block clients without reason, cancel without notice, turn up drunk, fall asleep for the whole session, engage in sexual activities (with or without an additional fee) or sexually assault the client. But on a good day, may provide a decent service. This is the category that gives rise to many of the complaints on the forum.
Sex Worker - Offers some combination of cuddling, massage and sexual services. Shouldn't be on Cuddle Comfort, but finds refuge here because of restrictive laws in certain places. May be only dimly aware of cuddling as a Thing.
Criminal - The rarest category. Examples include the 'professional' taking the money, excusing herself then not returning; and the client being lured to a quiet place and then robbed.
Good thread! Cuddle GOAT. Also, great commentary on the thread, particularly from @quietman775
Has anyone here ever encountered a “pro” in the criminal category?
Is anyone familiar with the game One Night Ultimate Werewolf? These cuddle categories are sounding like they could be roles in that game 😄 I’m gonna keep watching this thread and maybe make a version of that game with these roles. If I manage to do it, I’m gonna bring it with me to the Las Vegas meetup 😎
Cuddle Therapist seems like the best of these options. But I’ve seen other types:
The Spiritual Cuddler. Wants to be a guru, decorates with crystals, refers causally to charkas while cuddling & has a loosely related collection of spiritual practices. This cuddler sees cuddling as one of those spiritual practices & just like she does when she teaches yoga she should and does get paid for it.
Oh also The Criminal Cuddler and Chaos Cuddler would make the best buddy movie pair of any of these types. I’ll give money to that Kickstarter TODAY.
@Charlie_Bear
Yes, I certainly have. It’s actually been a long time since it last happened, and it was never so dramatic as “being lured to a quiet place and then robbed,” but I’ve definitely had pros steal from me in the past.
@CuddleWho omg I’m so sorry. I need to remind myself to be careful. Before this thread, my dumb brain wasn’t even thinking about being robbed 😬 I have been robbed before, but not by a cuddler thankfully
The Cuddle Consultant ~ The one who seems to know all the ins and outs, the right and wrong, and steps up at a moment's notice to condemn/correct others.
Like Pros one need not have any special training or background to become one ~ Just an authoritative voice, some resiliency, and a hope for others to buy into their shtick thereby becoming a quintessential go to for pros and enthusiasts alike and, due to the kindly nature of this community, many do sing their praises ~ All without giving a second thought to how a Consultant may very well only have their own ego as a concern and they aren't actually here to participate in creating a wholesome and welcoming environment for all.
Instead [to be frank] they seem to thrive on accolades and to many are seen as arrogant, judgemental and off-putting. For many who encounter the unsolicited advice of the Consultant, they either deactivate, disappear from the forums, or remain silent on subjects so as to not incurr the doubling down admonishment of the Consultant and/or the wrath of Consultant's supporters.
Indeed ~ We are fortunate to not have a mess of Cuddle Consultants (aka: Cuddle Correctionists) running amok ~ But they're here nonetheless and are just as deserving of an official title (IMO).
@quixotic_life One of my favorite posts of all time. 🤣
The thing is, @quixotic_life, my latest update above explicitly includes references to the difficulties you kindly brought up earlier in the thread. I would have liked to do more with your suggestions but you didn't respond to my request for advice.
You said,
Anyway, what about: Semiprofessional Relief Cuddle Provider (part-time, side hustle, etc.) -and- Professional Relief Cuddle Provider (serious about their role in the cuddle community, main/predominant source of income, years of experience and/or trainings, etc.)
and I said,
I've never thought of myself as a 'Cuddle Consultant' but professional cuddlers do come to me for help and advice, sometimes in quite serious matters, so perhaps I should.
@Charlie_Bear the "lured to a quiet place and then robbed" was an event recounted on the forum. I have heard of more serious crimes secondhand.
@Syins I haven't encountered a 'spiritual cuddler' myself but I do know roughly what you mean, and I have met professionals who might be thought of as being on the edge of that definition.
Everybody - have you met a 'spiritual cuddler'? Are you one yourself?
@quixotic_life I'm not real big fan of all the labeling here, but if we are going down this path....I do love your description of the "Cuddle Consultant"!
@CuddleDuncan I enjoy or posts. Don't be dissuaded by those who are probably lashing out because their lives are miserable and they want other people to be miserable too.
I enjoy your posts. Haters are gonna hate.
@CuddleDuncan I wonder who needs these specific identifiers more when it comes to Pro Cuddlers.
1) The Self-Identified “Women Pro Cuddler” who clearly dominate the landscape of the cuddling profession per capita.
Or
2) The Men seeking a Cuddler who dominate the financial aspect of this whole practice per capita.
I guess what I am getting at is how slippery of a slope this whole “categorization” idea is when each side has so much to gain should it lean favorably on their end.
I would assume the higher you land on the Category List, the more you (should/would) get paid right?
Therefore, it would make sense that the men paying would want that threshold to be strict in order to tame the pay scale of the pro practice. It almost seems like a squeeze or a bottle neck which would create a significant pay gap between the categorized Pro Cuddler. All of a sudden a cheap and more available/less restrictive option would come into play which would counter the current pay scale and availability issue. All this based on somewhat biased opinions held and without an actual governing body.
This is such a rabbit hole when you really try to get critical in thought. Either way you look at it I guess it would have its pros and cons.
Should you get it right though, something like this would at least take this Cuddling Practice a step forward in terms of legitimacy in the perview of those outside looking in.
A grand agreement for the betterment of the Cuddling World if you would.
@MCcuddles2 How do you know anyone’s life is miserable unless you have first hand knowledge? Awfully presumptuous and well, something a hater would say.
Ah... Silly me, I thought that must be rhetotical as one only need Google it to see what it means (though I also thought it was pretty obvious but whatever)...
"RELIEF" re·lief /rəˈlēf/
noun
Similar: reassurance consolation comfort solace calmness relaxation repose ease