Sorry to be blunt, but really what do you expect?
Equally blunt: We're supposed to be adults here. I kind of expect that people are able to read; you can't go very far with out the site being in your face about this site and all the activities within are strictly platonic. You cannot escape seeing those rules when interacting with anyone.
It feels pretty simple to me: stay platonic or get out. How is that hard to expect? Those that break those expectations are (or should be) reported.
@GuyverGordon Folks go over the posted speed limit daily. Heck, around here, a red light no longer means "stop and wait for the light to turn green " Folks aren't suppose to bring their dogs into the grocery store unless it is a trained, certified service dog. And yet there's little Fifi, sitting comfortably on her throne with her jewel encrusted collar in the cart.
All of these, and so much more, by "adults." So, yeh, "what do you expect" is quite hitting and realistic.
@Immersedwarmth Whose boundaries are violated if you drive 5 over the speed limit?
And yes, self-entitled assholes exist everywhere. Even here, as evidenced by comments like "what do you expect".
Going 5 miles over is breaking the law and people have been killed or seriously injured by people only going 5 miles over the speed limit. Immersed’s point was rules do get broken, he didn’t say too and if people use inappropriate words and actual physical harm is worse than verbal in this case.
I mean I tend to agree with @exp4life. This is a website that is facilitating putting people together for close physical interaction behind closed doors. Its not a stretch of the imagination that regardless of "platonic" being plastered everywhere that there are guys who are going to try and meet up for more than platonic. And i think it would be just as obvious that girls who are willing to do anything over the line of platonic are going to create profiles to try and find men who will pay for that. Im not saying any of it is right, im just kinda shocked how many people on here are surprised by it or think that it absolutely isnt going to happen.
@colinsc31 some people have messaged me saying how they think many are just performative posts and some genuine
@colinsc31 I don't think anyone is surprised by it. We are also not willing to make excuses for it or shrug it off because some people will do that. It's a platonic site, period. The day it is not perceived that way is the day it shuts down.
Are there people who will come here hoping for more? Yes. And they need to be reported and banned, so they can go back where they came from and spread the word that CC is not fertile ground for that.
I just don't think this is something that should be set as an expectation.
Sure, there are those that speed on the roads. How many of those people will speed when there is an obvious police present? (The expectation isn't that you go over the speed limit, even though people do, and so most will slow down.) Same thing for red lights.
So the expectation here isn't "well it is going to happen". The expectation is everything here is platonic. Nothing is of a sexual or romantic notion. And if that sort of thing occurs, it is to be reported.
So, again, my expectation is that everyone behaves like a responsible adult. Not to say that I am surprised or taken aback by some behaviors. But I will (and have) report those that don't exceed that expectation.
I took the "what do you expect" not so much as dismissing such behavior as it is saying don't be surprised when it does happen. My point also include the reality that not all "adults" (maybe not event most?) are what one would seem as "responsible." This isn't to throw in the proverbial towel, but simply yo say don't be surprised by human nature. Yes, by all means, report away.
I find it humorous that my comment was construed to mean "5 miles over the speed limit." Where did that come from? Set up to minimize the offense? To make a point? Why didn't the reader assume I meant so thing more egregious like 20-30 miles (the clear meaning behind my comment)?
@Immersedwarmth wrote:
I took the "what do you expect" not so much as dismissing such behavior as it is saying do the surprised when it does happen.
That is how I took the intent of the response as well.
It happens because there are a lot of FS workers on here. And, many ppl meet their romantic partners on this site. I say who are we to judge. It is what it is. I am in no way dismissing your feelings of annoyance. Only providing a different perspective. I've experienced the same thing.
@JazzyPants What is FS workers? ... (I mean, I'm pretty certain I know what the 'S' is ... but less certain of the 'F')
@supadupa And people have been killed or seriously injured by people going under the speed limit. Your comment is irrelevant, especially since you failed to indicate how 5 over violates anyone's boundaries.
@Immersedwarmth
I took the "what do you expect" not so much as dismissing such behavior as it is saying do the surprised when it does happen. My point also include the reality that not all "adults" (maybe not event most?) are what one would seem as "responsible."
I guess I took it the other way; it felt dismissive to me. And for me, at least, I am less surprised and more disappointed and frustrated. I feel it makes this whole cuddling thing harder than it has to be.
@GuyverGordon I took it the same way. To me it says "It's gonna happen, nothing you can do about it, stop complaining and just deal with it." Though it doesn't go quite as far as to actually defend it, at least not where it was originally said.
@Immersedwarmth Driving 5 over is very common. Driving 20-30 over not so much. So for the thing that "happens daily" I chose the common case, as one can be expected to do.
@IronLemon I was writing from what is the common experience where I live. Yes, it's daily. Multiple times a day, no matter what time of the day I'm on the road.
@Immersedwarmth @HarleyGirlKate Same. That is how I took it as well. But just stating reality will get you into fights here.
@Immersedwarmth Fair enough. You didn't specify details, and I made an assumption.
It sounds like your corner of the world sucks.
@GuyverGordon I guess a good way to summarize the recent exchanges here and resolve the "differences" is to acknowledge that realizing that bad actors will stop frequenting this platform when pigs start flying and setting an expectation such as yours for this platform are not mutually exclusive.
I don't think the people pointing out suggestive or inappropriate photos are necessarily blaming the person with suggestive photos or are suggesting they deserve to be treated this way. It is merely matching the "what the heck is up with these creeps, don't they know it is strictly platonic" message energy in the forums. Ok, then why is it necessary to even show your body at all let alone full body, cleavage showing, suggestive poses or facial expressions then? Why do I need to see how fashionable you can dress or anything like that either? If it is so obvious that this is platonic only, then why do so many profiles suggest otherwise?
This idea that the person presenting themselves has zero responsibility for their actions bit is nonsense too. These women doing it are every bit as aware of the strict platonic intent and purpose of this site. Just like the men pushing boundaries. It's not just "being pretty in your profile" either like I saw someone comment. It is intentionally posting full body, revealing clothing, cleavage showing and suggestive poses and looks that somehow pass the upload approval process if there even is one. Who approves these photos to begin with that forces US to police them for the mods?
I completely endorse and respect the strictly platonic intent of this site and fully embrace it. To me that IS why the kind of photos you see are problematic and head scratching given the CLEAR platonic only vibe you see in these forums. It just seems like a disconnect. And please spare me the "if a person wants to post these types of pics that is their choice". NO SHIT. That's not the point. The POINT is why? If the men are ALL missing the mark with their creepy intentions AND it is so obvious this is platonic only, then the photos allowed when submitted would reflect that, wouldn't it?
In one popular forum thread one girl even openly stated "an older man would love to pay for a cuddle with a young beautiful woman". Oh really? So what happened to "the connection in cuddling has no face" as I have seen people state? Why does being young or beautiful matter or have any relevance at all other than age matching for people who want someone their own age? And I don't remember this girl being pounced on like men who point out the suggestive photos or suggest that it is a two way street. (which it is) It just seems like the typical permissive attitude towards women and strict, hypercritical "BANISH THEM" attitude towards the men. No, it isn't appropriate to push boundaries. That is NOT my point either. It just is ALSO bad, to literally muddy the sites waters with tons and tons of approved photos in profiles that suggest ANYTHING BUT platonic only. More like "yeah, I say platonic, but you all know the deal". That is definitely going to make it harder for legit cuddlers and pros who are on here matching the intended purpose of the site. There should be just as much of a zero tolerance policy for photos. After all. How many people actually read the forums first before browsing and searching and seeing all of these types of profiles sending mixed messages leading to a general "is this platonic or not" kind of reaction. And why wouldn't they? To me the photos we post should either be a head shot, photos completely not suggestive at all or literally a photo or photos of us in what we intend to wear or typically wear in the actual cuddle sessions. That would quickly filter out many of the women and men trying to break the rules or push boundaries. It would make it super easy for mods to police too since the guidelines for what we wear while cuddling in a session are very clear as well.
There are multiple reports of sex workers hiding out on here under the camouflage of platonic only. Probably many of the men looking for it here are doing the same thing. That is why our society needs to take the stick out and allow for a legal and socially acceptable place/way to do this and advertise for it so it is separate from platonic and professional areas/platforms. There is a difference between a transactional encounter between consenting adults involving sex and money and actual human sex trafficking. We NEED a legal distinction made nationwide for this or these conversations are pointless.
Yes, I am allowing for the fact that some people will push boundaries and rules no matter what you do. There is no utopia and I am not suggesting perfection or a utopian world. We can do better. The site needs to decide what it is and how it presents itself when it lets these photos on profiles to begin with. People are correct when saying this isn't a site advertising sex work and it is not a dating site either. Based on the photos allowed that I see, it has a funny way of showing it. Especially on the dating site part. Could've fooled me. Because match.com photos and even some Instagram photos we typically see are nearly indistinguishable from photos we see on this site.
Finally, yes. People SHOULD be grown adults. Yes. People are confronted with platonic only reminders and policies that are impossible to avoid. You know what else is true? The entire rest of the site littered with these types of photos suggests otherwise and at minimum presents itself like a dating site. And as someone also said, some people find the love of their lives on this site. How? If it is "strictly platonic". If you want this site to be the "Papal State of Cuddle Comfort" then it needs to not look identical to most dating sites minus the specific mentions of intent to cuddle. Everything else (or at least most of it) screams dating site and in some cases "maybe more".
@IronLemon There are actually a few spots in Atlanta where people driving 20-30+ the speed limit is common. (I-285 is probably the most common place it happens.)
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But just stating reality will get you into fights here.
@GuyverGordon Yes, interstates are a different breed of road. My drive home is just surface streets, with a 55mph speed limit. I don't think I've ever seen anyone even come close to 75. 5 over is common. Which is better than other roads I've dealt with where 10 under was common. Annoyed the hell out of me. And places to pass are rare.
@IronLemon I took roads as all roads. If we filter out interstates, then, yes I don't see too many driving over 10 (with the exception of maybe one road which is closer to 15 over)
It's like the old saying. "Where you stand on a situation depends on where you sit."
On topic: I lost count of the number of people I've banned for thinking CC is a hookup or dating site.
Off topic: here in the Bay area, the speed limit is flow of traffic. I've done 90 regularly on the way to Sacramento. It's the ones NOT going with flow of traffic, AKA "road boulders", that need to take driving lessons or take the train. [/end old man rant.]
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@IronLemon
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@GuyverGordon
@cuddletistic71 I read every word of your comment and I 💯 agree, what you wrote is common sense and the truth but of course so many here will completely disregard it. Maybe they don’t have the intelligence to process it, and they make mindless jokes instead
I have also reported profiles because of the photos. The unclothed men and those who post sexual content in their photos are mostly told to remove and change their pictures, if it’s extreme, they are banned. A few women are banned, some that show nonplatonic photos are allowed to stay. I’ve questioned it and mods have said “they’re fine to me”. I don’t see this policy of allowing sexual advertising to change. I am so turned off by things on this site that I’m taking a break from cuddling, I read the forum for entertainment and cringe at the mindless comments.
Here, people drive over 100 going the wrong way on the highway.