As @DaveLaughs said, “If I went Pro it’d be basically throwing $20/mo down the drain for nothing.” I was Pro for two years, and barely earned enough to break even. And that’s being Cuddlist certified, well reviewed, willing to cuddle with any gender, etc. As @WriterGF implied, there just aren’t enough people willing to pay for a male cuddler. As @jmdank observed, even attractive men aren’t very successful pros.
To be honest, although I have met a few people here who became repeat cuddle buddies — and I’m so grateful for them! 🫂 — I have not even had much luck giving it away. Free hugs here! 😃 I don’t know if the world is changing in favor of men getting free cuddles, much less charging for them, but from what I’ve seen it hasn’t. Someone who works at Cuddlist claimed that men are some of their most successful cuddlers, but they have a financial incentive for saying so (to the tune of $40/mo. to be listed on their site), and I have yet to meet these men.
I still hope that one day people will be happier to cuddle with men free of charge or even pay them, but perhaps the best I can hope for is that men like us can pave the way for future men to have what we wish for after we die. Haha! That sounds pessimistic, but I mean it optimistically. Patriarchy and predation are going to take generations to undo, and the best we can do is listen to those who are reluctant to cuddle with men and overcome their objections with respectful behavior that will earn their trust.
Because we are strangers on the internet, our needs are individual, not shared. So, we are seeking out others that have similar needs and are advertising ourselves as being able to meet them.
Many more dudes than gals tho, which encourages many to go pro when their inbox is flooded.
Biology 101. Male animals compete for access to female affection. The female animal’s power over males derives, not from physical strength, but from control over the access to this scarce resource. In the case of humans, and in modern times, one way this manifests is that you need to pay for cuddling or offer something else she considers scarce and of great value.
@Katota Just head over to Google if you want to look into why a woman might prefer platonic.
It's always another reason they're here.
@cde123 Google didn't make that statement:
You did! ☝️☺️
If you don't wanna answer the question, then don't... Pushing the "so-called answer" off on Google doesn't answer my question either. 🤷😏
@Katota I'll be honest, I don't want to share the personal experiences of pros I've known, because that would feel like a betrayal of trust. There I go with my provider/protector instinct again…
@PeopleLikeUs well written!! you hit the nail on the head there. And hooks cited!! based
The same reason OnlyFans has more men as consumers of content from female creators.
Being online and this being a website does not change human behavior. There are women willing to exhange affection and intimacy for money. And there will always be plenty of men willing to give it to them.
It's pretty self explanatory once you see dating app data , most women have no problem in getting male attention , most men do have a problem in getting female attention , supply and demand
I keep thinking that this often asked question would be so different if …
How different would the world be today if men had the babies ?
How different would the world be today if women didn’t feel afraid?
I fail to even see why this matters as it does not really affect one’s life or cuddling choices. Are we going to question why women give birth to babies more than men? Thomas Beatie gave birth yet men aren’t beating down the door to do that.
I'll be honest, I don't want to share the personal experiences of pros I've known
🤔😶🤔😶
@cde123 Okay don't share, thanks for the honesty, however I didn't ask you about ANY personal experiences that You had with known Pros on your end...Lol! 😆 I don't even know how you came to that, but again You did! 🤔😁🤷
Look, just don't answer my previous question, it's okay really...😏☺️
There are women willing to exhange affection and intimacy for money. And there will always be plenty of men willing to give it to them.
👍👍👍👍👍
@marcustanaka Yep! 🙂
And there will always be Dudebros who will offer money to Cuddle Enthusiasts, so in a way I can see why SOME Enthusiasts just go on ahead apply to be a Cuddle Pro...??? 😆🤷😆🤷
Be like...
"At first, I didn't WANT TO BE PAID to cuddle, but I keep getting these monatery offers in my inbox... So why not go Cuddle Pro with it?🤑🫂"
Lol! 😆🤣
I pretty much believe what @WriterGF said about why there are not many male pros.
I’ve also heard a few people say that they think some men go pro just to have the courtesy cuddle with another female pro and then they don’t have to pay.
I’ve had someone tell me to go pro and I’ve thought about it. If you don’t have any business, you still have to pay every month. That is another reason probably. Plus, I’m thinking as an enthusiast. No one’s approach me for cuddling. So why would they pay if they’re not gonna approach now. The only people that approach are usually professionals or untagged pros.
So many things here. Sometimes I feel like this is just a rhetorical question in order to disparage professional cuddlers..... or drive people to your page in order to find some ability to connect.
@Hmza92 If you are truly asking in earnest.... There is much to be gained from looking into and finding some internalized ideas you might have that deal with the heirarchy of human beings. There is MUCH to be gained from that kind of reflection.
@OhioMike 100% agree
What our nation specifcally might look like as regards the differences men and women face societally would be unrecognizable if men were the ones who bore the children. Different things would be emphasized. Roles would look different. Education. The workplace. The extent of what women were/are trained to do throughout the course of their lives compared to their counterparts tells the story.
ABSOLUTELY agree with bell hooks' works on this topic of systemic beliefs in the US. It permeates every single aspect of our world. Sometimes more noticeably than others.
bell hooks' work challenges the idea that patriarchy solely harms women. She argues that the patriarchal system, which prioritizes male dominance and control, also negatively impacts men by limiting their emotional expression and perpetuating harmful ideas about masculinity. While patriarchy's impact on women is undeniable, hooks emphasizes that it also restricts men, forcing them to conform to rigid, often emotionally stunted, roles.
💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓 Love this.
Your question about why it’s not equally free on both sides is a good one, and I’d offer this: when we live in a world where women feel safe and men feel allowed to need, the whole exchange might look very different.
In the meantime. Work on yourself and your growth might lead you to places you could have never imagined, because YOU are the only author of your story.
@OhioMike Lol! 🤣
Birthed the babies. Breastfeed the babies. Get up with the babies in the middle of the night EVERY NIGHT. Potty trained the babies ... I'll stop now! 😆🛑😁🛑😆
Thomas Beatie gave birth yet men aren’t beating down the door to do that.
@TheFunCartel Of course not. Lol 😆😂
Dat's WIMMINZ work, Thomas! 😆
Would I cuddle men I've met on the Internet if I wasn't paid?
I would not. I would cuddle my loved ones that I already know and trust.
Would men cuddle women they meet on the Internet if they had to pay?
Yes, evidently.
It also often takes a while longer for male massage therapists to get clients than women, even if they are super skilled. There's a... Trust differential. I started my own practice while I was still in massage school (you can do that here bc MN laws are weird about massage licensure) while some of my male friends had to work for someone else to build up clientele.
I'm my case, my friend recommended I do Pro cuddling some years ago and that's why I'm here.. being on this site has been challenging and sometimes frightening I just could not bring myself to do it unpaid.
I'm impressed with the patience and bravery of any femme enthusiast!
I wrote this all out and then I realized I actually am curious how it would be to be an enthusiast and really get to pick cuddle experiences that were mutually nourishing energetically. Maybe someday when I retire
💯agree with this.
YOU are the only author of your story.
OMG!! I have a pseudonym so my story’s been stolen!
To the OP, 6 words, “The Law of Supply and Demand” It is as real and persistent as the Law of Gravity.
I just returned and I noticed looking at male and female profiles there is a stark difference between men not charging and women being the ones charging for “services”
As a woman, I am confused by that do they not like cuddling as well? I came here to actually cuddle. Am i wrong for not charging? It makes me feel weird for genuinely wanting to cuddle as a woman now.
@fatkitten_n On the contrary, female pros like cuddling too. But they have discovered that they can do what they enjoy doing and make money off it too, because there is a demand here. As someone who had a career doing what he loved and getting paid for it, I can understand the appeal for them.
Note that while pros are not mandated to cuddle everyone and anyone who comes along, they are not allowed by site policy to discriminate based on race, age, etc. Enthusiasts can be as picky as they want to be.
Pro here! I think the gender ratio in the cuddling community is worth talking about. And supply and demand is certainly a factor.
But personally, I am a pro for very specific reasons. I was a teacher, I worked in behavioral health with children and I do caregiving for individuals with disabilities. I am someone with experience and capacity to provide safety and support and connection to the people that I spend time with or take care of.
I left teaching because there is an expectation that teachers work overtime without pay, buy supplies with their own money, and do unreal amounts of unpaid labor.
If we have all accepted that being a software engineer, or a doctor, or a lawyer are skill sets worthy of being compensated well, then we should also accept that being nurturing and safe and supportive are also skills worth being compensated for.
There is sometimes an expectation that kindness and empathy and connection shouldn't be connected to money. But I disagree. I could cuddle and do caregiving and take care of kids for free 24/7 and that would be a very "nice" thing to do. But my time and my skills are valuable, and I should be receiving something for giving. It's not always money, but that is a pretty easy way to feel like your time and abilities are valued.
Supply and demand. Idk why people don't understand this
Imagine a world where women are all 6'5" and up 300+ lbs , all muscled and strong like Ronnie Coleman, and its the men that carry the baby in his body, and raise the baby.
These some silly posts
Why isn't ice hot?
A perplexing question we will continue to ponder in these forums.
@TxTom check and mate