What do you think platonic means?

snugglesafe8snugglesafe8
edited October 2025 in General

So a bit of a rant…I always specify that I ONLY provide platonic cuddling services yet somehow almost every client I take tries or at least implies they want the session to be, how shall we say, “spicier”. I am very clear in my communication about how things will go down and I get verbal agreement before going into sessions. What am I doing wrong? I am a bit on the younger side on here so I have a sneaking suspicion that people are testing me to see how far my boundaries can be pushed. If anyone has any advice for the situation I’m all ears 😅 I simply want to cuddle people who enjoy the platonic aspect, help!

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Comments

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc
    edited October 2025

    Your profile reads just fine - it’s vanilla and PG, your offers of massage and escort are also vanillaly worded as well (yes I just invented that word), your rate is fair and reasonable and not suspiciously high, your 1 pic is not sexy or risqué - ya got that girl next door/friendly kinda vibe, no mixed messages and you’re pretty clear about everything including the reiteration at the end so I’d say this is not on you. You seem warm and genuine.

    The only thing you might wanna add, since you’re asking, is something that I’ve seen on other profiles is a sentence simply stating any over the line advances will cause the immediate termination of the session with no refund, so I guess ask for the fee up front.

    As wonderful as this site is there are bad actors on BOTH sides! (I’ve had 2 NIGHTMARE and very flakey unprofessional “professionals” 2 nights in a row here in LA, but hey —-- this is your rant, not mine!
    :)

  • Mare_BearMare_Bear

    You are not doing anything wrong, others are using this site for non-platonic work. Just keep holding your boundaries, make sure you talk or video chat with any potential client and tell them to their face it is non-romantic, non-sexual, and non-erotic.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)
    edited October 2025

    You're not at fault. Sadly, it's the nature of the business. It attracts clients who want to see what they can get away with. Plus, when I have tried to explain CC to friends who are perfectly reasonable and cool people, they just immediately assumed it's a cover for sex work. I'm sure there are people who join this site who still think that too.

  • KatotaKatota
    edited October 2025

    implies they want the session to be, how shall we say, “spicier”.

    @snugglesafe8 I say squirt them in their faces with an ENTIRE bottle of hot sauce! 🔥🥵

    And then scream this loudly at them:

    HOW'S THAT FOR SPICE, DUDEBRO! AAHHH!
    📣😡📣😡📣😡📣

    Ahem, excuse me ...Lol!😁

    I woke up to another Dudebro "message" in my inbox again, not here on CC, but elsewhere. 😊🤨

  • CuddlesComfort8CuddlesComfort8

    Ugh for people asking you about making the session spicier. Your profile is great. I’d definitely ask for payment up front if they haven’t already. The TOS say that you can terminate the session if anything fishy happens without refund. So, clients should know this.

    I’ve had to report a lot of people without even meeting them as of late, because they start giving me an “ick” vibe with some of their questions & conversation in general. If something sounds kink/fetish-like, unfortunately, in this day & age, it probably is. I specifically don’t offer massages, as I noticed some believe that means more, but I do give neck & scalp rubs.

    Hope people stop asking you for these things, so that you feel comfortable staying on the site.

  • theHugAlchemisttheHugAlchemist

    I do a call before working with someone new.. the main questions I ask are: where did you hear about this and what sort of experience are you looking for? Some people are looking for something I don't provide but at least I can usually find out on that phone call!

  • theHugAlchemisttheHugAlchemist

    And! I usually go with a "do you understand what platonic means?" And their answer to that tells me everything I need to know

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited October 2025

    A surprising number of people genuinely don't know what 'platonic' means. Most of them have no interest in knowing: not because of that word in particular, but because they just aren't interested in anything.

    Some others genuinely believe that this site is a place for non-platonic activity because they have been misinformed.

    At the first hint of anything dubious from a potential client, please Report them. Do not give them benefit of the doubt. Do not give second chances. Do not attempt to clarify anything. Report immediately. You may also Block, or continue the conversation. Reporting brings the client to the attention of the Mods, who can then look for patterns of behaviour. If they are innocent, it ..... well I was about to write 'it will be obvious' but actually I'm not sure that that's ever happened. They're never innocent.

    @snugglesafe8 you are correct, they are testing your boundaries. You are young and relatively new, and both of those things attract predators. You've been here three months which means that the worst is over, although it never stops entirely.

    There is quite clearly nothing wrong with your profile. However, tiny details (in any advertising copy) can make big differences. I suggest you do not use the following words: relax, warmth, extra services, snuggle, soothing massage, put you to sleep, disclaimer.

    Put the 'platonic' bit at the beginning, not the end.

    Have at least three public photos. (Undercover sex workers almost always have only one.) Your current photo will be perceived by some people as non-platonic to the point of being actively suggestive. On my laptop the way it displays creates a V-shape below the neckline, hinting at possible nudity beyond the photo. The top has gauze, which is about the most non-platonic material that there is. And of course there is not only lipstick, but red lipstick. There was a time, within living memory (mine), when red lipstick was explicitly associated with the oldest profession. The top is black, which is associated with night, which is associated with non-platonic activities. The photo is presented sideways, which is half way to lying down, which is associated ... well I think you have probably got the idea by now.

    (For the benefit of the hard of understanding, I'm not saying you shouldn't do any of these things. I'm simply pointing out how some people will perceive them. To put it another way, most of us look at that picture and think, what a lovely picture. But to the predators, it's full of suggestion.)

    Note that massage is a regulated profession in many parts of the USA and you cannot legally offer massage services without the proper paperwork. Cuddle Comfort does not permit the offering of massage as a primary service: however, informal clothed massage as a minor and inessential part of a cuddle session is permitted by the site. Using the word 'massage' without specifying clothed clearly implies nudity. Since massage of the right type is necessarily soothing, using that word could be taken to imply a non-platonic aspect to the massage.

    Having said all that, fully half of your problematic clients and probably more will never read any of your profile text even if you explicitly ask them to.

    And for the avoidance of doubt, you're not doing anything wrong. They are.

  • dave31415dave31415

    Platonic comes from Plato. Plato had a philosophy of love which was really just a rationalization so that he could have sex with young boys. Somehow the term has come to be used for a kind of relationship that does not involve sex.

  • CuddlesofcuddleCuddlesofcuddle

    Lovely, you're in my city. I know firsthand how horrid it can be here. Please report to get them looked into. Help me clean this place up. I see how young you are and I know how they treated me my first 6 months. I made it through that fire and I want the same for you. If anybody ever hurts you ofc call authorities immediately.
    I love the fb on getting a phone call from your cuddler to feel them out and listen to their tone. & enforcing on your profile that sessions will end if TOS are broken.
    You're right, they're wanting to see how far you will go. Then they'll do XYZ online.

    Mmhmmm. To all you bad apples in Texas I'm gonna catch you 💯
    CC pros in San Antonio.
    In Texas.
    and Worldwide will be respected.

  • snugglesafe8snugglesafe8

    @Cuddlesofcuddle thank you for the encouragement 🥹 I do report everyone who does not follow the guidelines but it can be hard to catch them when they’re sneaky, say all the right things and then take their pants off randomly in a session 😭

    There should be a support group on here for the ladies, Lord knows we’ve been through some stuff on here Lol

  • KatotaKatota
    edited October 2025

    they’re sneaky, say all the right things and then take their pants off randomly in a session 😭

    @snugglesafe8 Lol! Oh well, that's when you break out the blow torch, chainsaw and the lighter.... Nevermind, I don't want you to go to jail! 🤫🤐

    😁😁😁😁

    Your username is SnuggleSAFE for a reason, so just report sketchy stuff to the Mods and definitely be careful out there. 😁👍

    There should be a support group on here for the ladies,

    Nah, there's plenty of support here for all genders the longer you hang out here on Cuddle Comfort. Again be safe out there! 😁🫂👍😁🫂👍

  • sausalitosausalito

    Your profile reads just fine theres NOTHING that implies you are not platonic so im sorry people are being creeps.

    There are some non platonic cuddlers but most of them have hints on their profile by either super high rates (ive seen 300+ an hour listed) lots of cleavage and butt pics etc, and sneaky wording in bio etc etc. alot those clients and cuddlers end up banned tho.

  • SweetCuddler33SweetCuddler33
    edited October 2025

    Before booking/confirming an appt, send them the Client Service Agreement.. again.. ask them to READ it and to confirm that they understand the rules of Platonic cuddling.. Be firm and let them know the session will be over and they will be reported to the site/police if they disrespect you or if they don’t follow the rules.. Speak on the telephone/video chat after the appt is booked and arrange to meet at a cafe/coffee shop Before going to the cuddle location. I ask to see ID and I let them know I have a safety person that will know where I am and who I am with.. Do not get into their car to go to another location. Have your own transportation..Always accept payment at the beginning of the session .. I do not recommend going out for drinks with your cuddle clients.. Those who have bad intentions may see that as an easy opportunity to try to manipulate/take advantage of a sweet young lady like yourself.. watch your drink 🍹 stay safe 🙏

  • [Deleted User]Circle5 (deleted user)

    @Cuddlesofcuddle - FWIW I love your show of support. Good lookin out.

  • jps76jps76

    @dave31415

    Umm, maybe we need a new standard word.

  • SweetCuddler33SweetCuddler33
    edited October 2025

    nonsexual .

  • SweetCuddler33SweetCuddler33
    edited October 2025

    Nonsexual

  • SweetCuddler33SweetCuddler33
    edited October 2025

    They could read the CSA! 😃

  • ShyDaveShyDave

    I’m new here and I guess I’m surprised to hear this is an issue because the rules are so clear. I just feel like if a person is looking for non platonic escort or massage then that’s available all over the internet. Why come to a place that clearly states it isn’t welcome and try to get away with it? I don’t understand and am sorry for those of you who have to deal with that. I hope that most of your clients are respectable.

  • SoosonSooson

    @snugglesafe8 Considering your age, I highly recommend dropping hosting as an option and if you prefer to host, reserve it to those who have seen you before and have gained your trust. Especially if there's in no one else present at your place when you host. you never know who's going to show up. If anything happens that warrants reaching out to authorities, if you visited them, you know where they live, and they don't know where you live which is just as important.
    Same goes for massages. I recommend you don't advertise it but offer it in person if you feel comfortable with the person. That will keep few more of those unwanted visitors away. also, over time you will learn how to weed people out.
    Ideally you wouldn't have to make sacrifices for safety, but in reality, you do.

  • SoosonSooson

    I also learned my lessons here over the years. I will never forget the day @Katota chased me around her house with a bottle of mace and a frozen chicken.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @ShyDave It's the lure of the forbidden. They want to feel like they are breaking the rules and getting away with it.

  • KatotaKatota

    @Katota chased me around her house with a bottle of mace and a frozen chicken.

    😃😃😃😃

    @Sooson First of all, it was a stun gun 🔫 and a frozen turkey...🦃😁

    We were playing Turkey Stun Tag, and you were IT so get it right, okay? ☝️😊

  • SelfMadeJaySelfMadeJay

    As most have said here, you did nothing wrong. Some people are the type to push the envelope, to see how much of a mile they'll take after giving them an inch. Fortunately this doesn't rule for all or even most dudes but you are gonna come across some that go past the pale. Some things do have to be said more than once as a reminder.

  • CozyCuddleBunnyCozyCuddleBunny

    You’re not doing anything wrong. Men will push and or IGNORE boundaries no matter what you say! You have the right to stop and/or cancel your session if a client does not respect the rules. I have been put in this position and I make it very clear that nothing sexual is going to happen during the session. They will still try and ask or negotiate!

  • [Deleted User]hoosierdan76 (deleted user)
    edited October 2025

    They are probably going to try something regardless. However if you’re going to attempt to change anything, I would recommend getting rid of the term “extra services”, also the offer of virtual meetings. The biggest female offenders offer that and it’s something guys look for along with certain code words. Like extra services. Also maybe reconsider the traveling situation. Not trying to be a creep. You did ask. Please forgive me.

  • MTexMTex
    edited October 2025

    I'm sorry you have had those experiences. Unfortunately, it will continue to happen. Reading the 🚩 red flag threads 🚩 is a good way to help you see some of the signs ahead of time. Don't underestimate anyone. I've done that a couple of times & learned very quick to never let my guard down.

    Example: I thought he's in his 70s how dangerous could he be? 🤦🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️

    Always believe what they tell you. If they say something that sounds off it's not a joke, it's their intention.

    That being said I have also had wonderful sessions with men who were respectful & honored boundaries. Those are the keepers that I value & keep as repeat partners (I don't have clients since I'm an enthusiast). Once you can establish repeat clients it will help you feel safer with people who will respect you.

    Stay safe 🤗

  • MTexMTex
    edited October 2025

    Here are some of the threads I was referring to:

    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/19038/red-and-pink-flags#latest

    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/23479/i-feel-most-people-are-looking-for-more-than-platonic-and-i-m-frustrated#latest

    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/23360/non-platonic-talk-offsite-about-cc#latest

    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/23296/guys-please-respect-boundaries#latest

    And as already mentioned keep reporting even if they deactivate or delete their account. Report to a mod and keep the screenshots if you have any proof of their non-platonic messages.

    *Edit: If you can attend a cuddle group in your area it would be useful to you. I found it to be an invaluable tool. The consent exercises were great to learn & practice.

  • graceangelgraceangel

    @MTex one time, someone was messaging me for a while and I gave him my number. some of the stuff he'd say had me like hmm.. I kept delaying on giving my address. then Facebook picked up his number in my phone and showed me his profile showing he was actually married irl. I just blocked him everywhere since I don't cuddle people who are married or otherwise attached.

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