Why was the lost dog never able to find his way out of the forest? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree! 🌽
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors??
If it had 4 doors, it would be a sedan..
What time of the day do you go to the dentist? Tooth:hurty (2:30)
Someone stole my Limbo Stick. How low can they go??!!
Arnold Schwarzenegger has retired from acting. He now owns a pest control business.
He's an ex-Terminator
Definition: Why Moulin Rouge dancers hang out at a film festival in France.
Solution: Because they can-can Cannes.
Why did the rooster cross the road?.. how should I know, I'm not even a chicken.
An elephant walks into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Hey, why the long face?"
What did Sushi A say to Sushi B?
Wasabi.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Because they don’t have the guts. …except the one skeleton who started beef at the barbecue. He had a real bone to pick.
What do you get an elephant and a rhinoceros? The elephino..
You show me a piglet who escaped from a French butcher, and I'll show you a piglet who cried "oui, oui, oui" all the way home.
I’m searching for someone to milk cows on my dairy farm. Must work well with udders.
Why did the cuddler get banned from the wedding? They hugged the bride, then the groom, then the officiant, then the cake — and told the cake, "You're the most layered thing here."
What's blue and fluffy?
Blue fluff
What does a baby computer call his father? Data.
“I’ve known my buddy Ronnie Dewey since 2nd grade. He got engaged at 23, 35, and 60. Never married.
3 near Mrs.”
Why are things so heavy in the future?
I could tell you a space pun, but I'd have to planet first.
Definition: A childfree couple who loves to go roller skating
Solution: Rinky dinks
You show me Theodore Roosevelt running a craps game with DMX, and I'll show you...
"That's how rough riders roll."
Unfinished sentences are pointless (Sorry, I am past my bedtime 😅)
Why did the whale beach himself? Because he had no porpoise. Ba dum tss
What does a mathematician do when he’s constipated?
He works it out with a pencil.
Which knight loved parties the most?
Sir dancealot
Crazy guy punched a kangaroo
Who made the round table for King Arthur and his knights?
Sir Cumfrance
I sent in 10 puns to a pun contest in hopes that one would win. No pun in 10 did. (Read aloud if you don't get it)
I'm cracking up at these 😂 whenever I need a laugh I'll come here
What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!