Ridiculous timer

jasonxx95jasonxx95
in General

It’s ridiculous I have only 8 requests I can put in per 24 hours for every new Cuddler I message, only 2 have responded in a week and it was 1 message between both of them. No follow ups since.

And from what I’m gathering regarding the allotment time between sending more messages is that I have to wait 24 hours from the last request I sent, not each request individually over time.

I sent like 3-4 around this time and a little earlier yesterday and I reached my cap earlier today. Given that I had sent 3-4 requests earlier than current time yesterday, I can only surmise that I have to wait a full 24 hours more before I can send out more requests???? What gives?

Why is there a limit at all? Makes no sense.

Comments

  • [Deleted User]MasonDixonCuddl (deleted user)

    Welcome to CC! I see this as trying too hard to get cuddles your first few days on the site. This is why you're experiencing contact limits.

    Give this some time. With your being new to the site and having no history (Karma), the people you contact have to be comfortable with moving forward with you. Please give them time to respond, and don't be afraid to be selective with whom you choose to contact.

    This is not your desired answer, I am sure. But, hoping this helps somewhat.

  • jasonxx95jasonxx95

    I’m not messaging the same person 5x back to back to back. I’m messaging one person and then moving on just attempting to find someone who will accept.

    Trying to use the site as intended is “trying too hard”?

    All my messages say are “Hey, new to the site, looking to book a sesh, wondering when is best for you and if you could give me any tips to help? Etiquette, attire or anything else”

    I’m not having issues with sending the same person a message, I understand people have lives. I’m having problems getting anyone to respond to the very first inquiry.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    I’m assuming that’s a thing for newbies.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @jasonxx95 hi, I'm sorry to hear you're frustrated. Please take these pointers as me trying to be kind and helpful.
    It can take a pro sometimes a day or 2 to get through all of their messages. A lot of pros this is. A side gig and some don't check in everyday.

    We as pros are told it's a red flag of a client that might be a boundary pusher and to be on alert of someone asking about attire, specifically. But you can find the answer to these questions and much more if you check out the stickers forums topics. By reading the rules and stocked forum topics it will instruct you about proper etiquette and appropriate attire. I would also suggest adding another picture or two, one smiling would be helpful and maybe add a little more to your bio.
    Try checking out some of the other mens profiles you see in the forum for examples.

    Best of luck to you and happy cuddling🫂

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    I believe new users have their messaging throttled to prevent spam bots/accounts. It also is to encourage new users to explore the site beyond just mass messaging all the cuddlers near them.

    I highly recommend everyone (especially new users) read through the site TOS, the FAQ, the Help Center articles, the contracts for pros & clients, and all the stickied threads in the General and Pro Cuddling forums. Don't rely on your potential cuddle partner to educate you - the info is likely already out there.

    Take the time to do your research and some prep work, and you'll have a much more successful time on this site.

  • jasonxx95jasonxx95

    @MeltMyWay Fair criticisms.

    Is there anything in my profile to suggest anything nefarious? Genuinely asking.

    In regards to photos, I admittedly don’t say this often because I try not to invite it into my life, but I have relatively low self-esteem and therefore do not take many photos of myself, especially when I’m smiling.

    That said, I generally feel like I’m a pretty personable person. So kinda hard to hit an equilibrium where I’m personable and also take high resolution pictures of myself doing anything.

    Not trying to trauma dump or anything, especially here — but I don’t really have anyone actively in my life to even take photos with me anyways, which I found it to be a little cool that the CuddleComfort service kinda extended beyond “the bedroom” so to speak… which might be able to give me an avenue to improve that part of my life.

    Buuuuut, given I can’t even get the 15-20 cuddlers to even message me back… 🤷‍♂️

    Not really sure why it’s a recommended policy for a website that isn’t widely known to the world to tell their Professional user base to ignore potential newcomers. Just kinda counterintuitive.

  • jasonxx95jasonxx95

    @cuddlefaery

    Respectfully, I can read the subtopics until I’m blue in the face, but if I don’t get any replies — what’s the difference?

    Even upon browsing individual profiles, each cuddler generally has different techniques and methods of which to how they appeal to their clients. Which may not even be mentioned or explained in the subtopics you’ve mentioned.

    I do agree ultimately though that looking into those things would be good introductory readings and get me up to speed though. I have briefly taken a peak at some of them already, but I guess I have a hard time wanting to read them because how hard can cuddling actually be?

    Talk like a person with your cuddler and try to be a bit indifferent and relatable, laugh, tell jokes if appropriate to let the person feel more comfortable.

    And no sexual advances.

    Doesn’t seem like you need to expound further than that.

  • jasonxx95jasonxx95

    I do find it funny for a site to explicitly mention no sexual advances, but lists Marital status for people on here. 😂

  • mauvefoxmauvefox

    @jasonxx95

    You mentioned the wide variety of information in other people’s profiles, and I would focus on that actually. Sending a message that reads as a mass produced message might not get you a reply. Thinking about that persons profile and what interests you about it might be a better play. It’s more effort but you will get better results than asking about etiquette and attire, the answers of which are in the forums folks mentioned. Female cuddlers both pro and enthusiast get inundated with messages. Doing something more personable will help you stand out.

    As far as pics, you could always try taking a selfie with that golden retriever you mention in your profile. I tend to like the photos I take with my pup more than when I’m just by myself.

    And I would echo others, you’re new here. It takes time to get rolling. I believe the limit will lift after a while.

    I’m not sure what the original intention of having a relationship status is, but I know some cuddlers take it into account and have policies around whether or not they will cuddle folks in relationships and under what circumstances. Because they don’t want someone else’s family drama to become their drama too. 🤷‍♀️

    Hang in there, there is a lot of support to be found here if you’re willing to take it in.

    🤗

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    Honestly, no, your profile doesn’t strike me as nefarious. More introverted and maybe overthinking things a bit.
    And I do understand what you mean about photos/self-esteem. I think my suggestion was less about needing model-quality pictures and more about helping providers get a better sense of your personality and energy. A casual smiling pic, even just taken with a timer or while out doing something you enjoy, can make someone feel more comfortable reaching out.
    Same with the bio. Right now it’s very brief and serious, so adding a little more about your hobbies/interests/humor would probably help people get a feel for who you are outside of just ‘looking for cuddles.’

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    And the marital status thing honestly isn’t meant sexually or relationship seeking as much as transparency. Some people’s religions, cultures, relationships, or personal morals have different comfort levels around physical touch, especially if someone is married.

  • BellaAineBellaAine

    Everyone has given you good advice.

    Here is my personal opinion:

    I don’t have any photos of myself smiling in my public profile pictures, and my self-esteem is high. Your character isn’t defined by how you choose to pose in your pictures. Your pic is fine for Pros.

    @jasonxx95 Be patient and selective. Pros don’t care about how you look. We mainly care about safety and that you won't flake. Just introduce yourself; the booking sentence you used was fine. There’s no need to list things you need help with. Simply let them know it would be your first cuddle session and what you’re hoping to get out of it. Comment on something you read from their bio to let them know you actually took the time to read it. Best of luck!

  • jasonxx95jasonxx95

    @mauvefox

    Sound advice. I’ll try to be a bit more introspective in that regard.

    @MeltMyWay

    That’s pretty accurate of me sometimes too 😂
    I am good at over thinking for sure. I just thought there’d be more response just because of the volume of people I’ve messaged. It has only been a week, but I thought given it’s a service thing, people would be a bit more prompt to respond. Especially since I feel part of this gig is “early bird gets the worm” more or less.

    I also can be a bit serious sometimes where it’s not needed or necessary. Definitely need to improve that. That said, it’s usually over text that I come across more that way. In person I can usually be a bit more bubbly as long as I have experience of something to draw from.

    If I don’t have experience with something… uh. I’d say it’s more or less awkward just because I don’t have anything to share or contribute to the conversation.

    I didn’t want to information overload my bio because as you can see, I am capable of being overly wordy and typically people don’t care to read beyond the first two lines, so I tried to keep it short and sweet. Guess I failed there!

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    Hey @jasonxx95 just to be clear ... you didn’t do anything wrong or fail your bio/profile 😊 You had originally asked about the messaging limits and mentioned not getting any responses yet, so I just kind of offered some unsolicited provider-side insight that might maybe possibly help.

    Honestly if you were in my area and had messaged me, I would’ve responded. I can’t speak for why specific providers haven’t yet, because everyone screens differently and some people really do take days to get through messages.

    I’d just give it a little time and maybe keep some of the suggestions in mind moving forward, but I definitely wouldn’t take it as ... there’s something bad or wrong with me. Because there is not.

  • Goonie4lifeGoonie4life

    @jasonxx95 make sure your "last online" search parameters are either "less than a week ago" or "less than a month ago" that way your search isn't populating cuddlers that have been inactive for quite some time

  • Goonie4lifeGoonie4life

    @jasonxx95 do you travel with your healthcare job?

  • trysdettrysdet
    edited May 22

    Maybe add so e photos of yourself or at least one smiling.

  • SnuggleFroggieSnuggleFroggie

    It's a holiday weekend so I imagine a lot of people are busy. I do agree that taking a pic with your dog is an excellent idea.

  • jasonxx95jasonxx95
    edited May 22

    @HuggableBug
    Truthfully I hadn’t considered the holiday weekend lol.

    I haven’t really celebrated a holiday or my birthday even for that matter forrrr….. 15 years? 😂

  • great_pillow08great_pillow08

    @jasonxx95 If you send roughly the same message to multiple members, the site will cut you off too. I’ve never done it, but I’ve heard it from multiple males! It takes time, but when you find the good ones, it’s definitely “gold”!

  • ksb30ksb30

    Hi stupid question are the cuddlers nearby you are messaging? Hope you have some luck soon!

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    @jasonxx95 the reason I recommend reading those pages and discussions is because you are far from the first person to come into the forums seeking advice on getting replies. The previous discussions can add insight and may answer a question you didn't even know you had yet.

    I guess I have a hard time wanting to read them because how hard can cuddling actually be?

    If cuddling were easy for everybody, the purpose of this site would be completely different. If everyone could easily find cuddle partners among their peers, they wouldn't have to search online (though they may still do so for fun). If people were well versed in consent, boundaries, communication, and safety during intimate interactions, we wouldn't have SO many people complaining of conflicts, uncomfortable situations, and worse.

    And what makes it more complex is the fact that most people do not even know what makes for healthy, safe platonic interactions with the opposite sex - it is not a normalized situation in most cultures. And yet, most people on this site are seeking cuddle partners of the opposite sex. That disconnect causes a LOT of issues if people don't do the work.

  • MonkeyNeedsAHugMonkeyNeedsAHug

    Hi Jason,

    I ran a search based on your profile preferences. So few women with Cuddle Comfort accounts who have even been online in the last month. (You only joined this month.) So, I’m finding it hard to imagine how you could have exceeded your quota… unless you forgot to limit your search to users who’re actively checking in.

    Did you do that? If a user last checked in a month ago, I think it’s unlikely you’ll get a response from her any time soon. Hope that helps.

    🐒

  • marcustanakamarcustanaka

    @jasonxx95 's profile doesn't have any real red flags. Some tips:
    1. Don't book last minute. Plan ahead.
    2. Others mentioned the recent profile. The full-time pros won't care but the majority of women who do it on the side will be a little wary.
    3. If your area has few options, expand your search.
    4. Try for a public cuddle. It might help with the rejection rate.
    5. You are not picking a sexual partner. Do not judge a book by it's cover.

    Right now, the impression is expectations are a little too high. 8 in one day and 3-4 the next? Slow down. Also YOU pick the time and date. Your message should show you read their profile. Don't ask about attire, etiquette, etc. Read the forums and figure that stuff on your own.

    Welcome to the site and good luck.

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