Hi all. Could I get a few people, preferrably women, to review my profile and give honest feedback? I'm looking for ways to improve the responsiveness of other parties and need to understand where the deficienc(y/ies) (is/are) at.
I really enjoy your profile. It's not too long, and I feel you touched on a lot of aspects of yourself to help give us a picture of who you are. You come across as an intelligent, mature, well-rounded (making cologne, fun!!), safe person to book a session with and I would happily cuddle you. ☺️
@SpicyNSweet Thank you for the compliment. Perhaps if you're ever in the area here or vice versa when I go on tour, we'll have to connect.
That said, I've noted that when I send non-professionals messages, it doesn't yield any response; and as a result, I am finding that I'm in a situation where I am not approached... ever. So I apologize if I come off rude (certainly not my intent), but I am even more confused now. 🤣
Do I dare make the jump to go pro?
I think you are referring to messaging enthusiasts…? If that’s the case, I have heard that their inboxes are flooded with messages. So that can overwhelming and your messages may be buried.
However about your profile: You sounds sophisticated, well-rounded, respectful, calm, and collected. Maybe add another one or two more pictures…? Other than that, everything seems great.
Your profile looks great!
As far as enthusiasts go, our inbox is flooded with messages so it might take time. My best advice is read their profile carefully as often they will give hints or even full on instructions as to what kind of message they want from you.
Also you can and should filter your search to filter out anyone who has not checked in to the site recently. If they haven’t checked in recently, they’re not going to reply to you.
There are a lot of threads about reaching out to enthusiasts in the forum in general that you can read up on.
Happy cuddling! 🤗
Your profile is well thought out. As an empath myself, I wish ppl understood what that really means. You’d be a top tier cuddle sesh! We know how to instantly make ppl feel comfortable because we are literally feeling what they are feeling. It’s like mind reading of the body at a cellular level. Cuddle Crack for the soul lol That being said, YOU should try being the Pro here 🤷🏽♀️
I would love to connect!
As others have mentioned, enthusiasts are overwhelmed with too many options in their inbox, but here is my honest opinion, as you requested:
I find the profile a bit generic and didn't really get a feel for who you are. You describe yourself as an empath, but I don't see much about how you want the other person to feel in your presence or what they can expect from connecting with you. A lot of the profile talks about what you're looking for and the activities you enjoy, but I still don't walk away with a strong sense of your personality or what makes spending time with you unique. I would also clarify the parts about Reiki, practical advice, and giving or receiving massages. As written, they come across as things you intend to incorporate into the experience rather than offerings that are available if the other person is interested. For example, I don't enjoy giving massages, so reading that would make me wonder whether there is an expectation of reciprocity. I think it would help to make it clearer that these are optional offerings available at the other person's comfort level and interest. Relax your face when you're taking a picture and if you're going to be serious talk with your eyes. I love serious pictures but the intensity should come from your eyes. I'm not a professional photographer or model so my advice on the picture could be completely bonkers.
As a pro, I see clients without bios and not so pleasant pictures all the time, but as an enthusiast your current bio is a pass for me. I might just be more picky.
Hey there! The picture is the only thing I would suggest you change. Reading your profile, I would totally cuddle with you.
A smile would make a tremendous difference in the vibe of your picture.
The first three paragraphs of your profile are apparently 100% AI. Massive turn-off.
The latter three appear to be written by you. I suggest you remove all AI-written content and just be yourself.
The lack of response from enthusiasts, however, is a site-wide experience shared by men. A great profile can help, but will not solve it. Only patience and effort will eventually yield results. Good luck!
~ Sunset Snuggles
🫂 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Junkie 📷 Shutter Bug
Couple other pictures and at least one looking less serious would probably help.
@SunsetSnuggles I’m going to have to push back on that “apparently 100% AI” statement. Part of the “among other things” is that I’m also a very polished writer/author, and much of my musings is structured in such a way that it can come across as such.
I will edit it in such a way that it doesn’t, but it’s just how I often present. 😕
Thank you, though.
@scpcguy An AI checker identified the first three paragraphs as being "100% AI and found elsewhere on the internet".
It identified the latter three paragraphs as being human-written.
If it's incorrect, my apologies. But given that it says your paragraphs are found elsewhere online, I'm not sure what to say.
I would definitely change or add more photos. I think you were maybe going for a mysterious vibe .. but in cuddling community women mostly are looking for safe vibes and cozy friendly vibes. Would definitely have some with you smiling and perhaps borrow a friend's dog for a photo. Something playful. Or pics of you doing something you enjoy... That will tell a lil more about you.
Also I don't see anything wrong with using AI sometimes I feed it what I want to say and ask it to clean it up or make it clearer for me. I don't read it as definitely being AI myself. Wether it is your words or AI, just try to make it sound more personal, a lil softer, more casual like a friendly conversation.
I never met an enthusiast woman that doesn't have an inbox busting full of message to the point it's almost impossible to get through them all. So a good warm and invitingly safe profile pic really does help you stand out
Best of luck and happy cuddling 🫂
@scpcguy I relate to that. My writing tends to be polished and has similar flows to things that get flagged for ai writing. 🤷♀️ I have put things I 100% wrote from scratch into an ai catcher and been told that what I wrote was by AI. Of course not all the time. And your later paragraphs are more about you personally. Maybe add some of that up into the paragraphs above.
I'm AI and I approve this message
@mauvefox that's happened to me as well! It was all me, no AI at all cause I'm way wayyyyy too proud for that 🤣🤣 Definitely made me wary of trusting the checkers.
@SunsetSnuggles Check the following link: https://lawlibguides.sandiego.edu/c.php?g=1443311&p=10721367
Excerpt: “multiple studies have shown that AI writing detectors were ‘neither accurate nor reliable,’ producing a high number of both false positives and false negatives.”
I regularly am clocked as more AI than actual AI 😂 those checkers are notoriously inaccurate. I also don't mind if people utilize AI anyway 🤷🏻♀️ it can be a great accessibility tool
@cuddlefaery totally! There are certain things I do for work that are 10x easier because I have essentially outsourced my executive function. 😁
I actually don’t like what AI produces for writing. And yet my own writing gets flagged as AI often. 🤷♀️
@scpcguy thanks for the resource. I’ve heard a ton of horror stories of students having their papers failed with accusations of using AI but the students have been able to provide drafts and edits of the writing over time.
@scpcguy I didn't know the AI checkers were known to be that flawed. I searched some phrases from your profile and the only site they returned was your profile. So I apologize again, as it does seem those paragraphs aren't found elsewhere like the checker said. How frustrating.
I had previously been suspicious of the AI checkers, but tested it against my own profile and it returned 100% human-written, so I believed they were accurate.
On the general topic of AI...
I have no issue with how AI writes things...it sounds more intelligent than most humans. 😆 But I'm still turned off by those who put out text they didn't write and claim they wrote it. (If they simply had a note that said they used AI, that would be fine. It's not the action, it's the dishonesty.)
Those who use AI will always and easily be found out when they are nowhere near as proficient at communication as they initially seem. Just as those who use filters will eventually have to show up in person. 🤷🏻♀️
@SunsetSnuggles very true.
Although I will say I am much better at communicating in writing. Cause in person I get nervous, and my brain goes faster than my mouth can, so my mouth just starts to make stuff up on its own. And then I can’t edit what I say after it comes flying through my nonexistent filters and lack of executive function. 🤣
@scpcguy re: your profile, I think it is well written, gives people a good idea of your personality & interests, and has a distinct voice that sounds genuine.
My one gripe, and this is entirely just a me thing
is the use of "intuitive empath". As someone who used to identify similarly, I learned the hard way that online most of the people in that community are actually narcissistic and manipulative - the same way that "nice guys" ruin the term for all the actually nice people. For me, the use of empath as a noun instantly makes me cringe internally and skeptical that the person is actually empathetic. That said, the rest of your profile doesn't give the same cringe vibes a lot of the pseudo empaths do, so I don't think you need to change it. It may just be something to be aware of when navigating online spaces, as I'm far from the first formerly identifying empath to be burned.
Re: going pro
I highly, highly recommend doing your homework first to make sure that you are prepared for the reality of pro cuddling and not just the fantasy version. There's threads in the Pro Forums that are really enlightening on how difficult it is to be a male cuddle pro. A lot of pros also go into it completely oblivious of business and tax laws, which opens them up to higher liability risks and fines at the very least.
Before diving in to working as a pro, it'd be a good idea to be informed on local business license requirements, laws on escorting (in some jurisdictions pro cuddling falls under escort regulations, not to be confused with SW), tax obligations, and liability insurance options. This isn't like baby or pet sitting on the side - the higher risk of intimacy and higher income means more scrutiny under the law.
I'm not saying all this to discourage people from becoming pro cuddlers - I just believe people will enjoy it more and will last longer without burnout if they are actually prepared for the work.
Damn, it really sucks that we can't trust anything anymore😔
I would replace your picture with one of you smiling- that would make a big difference, for me at least. I think the profile content is great.
I shall attempt to provide follow-up to the points that have not been addressed yet.
Firstly, I want to thank everyone who chimed in as the input has been a huge help to optimize things. I have completely reworked the text portion of my profile. Additionally, I do plan on taking other pictures here in the near future.
To those who are talking about people being flooded with requests. Thank you; I will take that into consideration upon introducing myself. What this tells me is that I must have my opening sentence(s) catch the eye with my openers. There appear to be only about 11 women on here within my area that have been active within the last month at the time of this writing out of over 200.
@BrokenWillow had it on the nose. The "intuitive empath" part has been attuned further by my reiki and meditation practice. That said, I direct this portion over to @cuddlefaery.
In reply to the statement, "I learned the hard way that online most of the people in that community are actually narcissistic and manipulative," I find it equally terrible that people use such terms for personal gain. Such things that are deeply rooted in oneself are adversely soiled by experiential public perception as a result. I am of the belief that the people who truly are within that kind of wheelhouse are under a strict moral obligation to use this to the ends of the benefit of others rather than for themselves. One cannot be a de facto lightworker while also obscuring intent.
Relating to the business portion: I appreciate the caution and would agree that a lot do jump in without understanding the business and legal sides. I would also agree that anyone considering this should go in fully aware of what they're getting themselves into, so on that, I'm a bit ahead of the game. Thankfully the state I'm in views Professional Cuddling as a platonic wellness service rather than an escort service due to the differences in provided services.
In addition, I have given it some thought and have actually performed research into the matter. Luckily I'm fairly well-versed in business requirements for the state I'm in, so already have fairly decent knowledge of what's in front of me from that side of the house. Much of my rationale behind going pro is that it attaches a certain safety in the assurance that the person initiating contact (in this case, myself) will be understood as bound by a certain code of ethics and standards for which they cannot cross while operating in a professional capacity. I will, however, look further into the professional accounts and see what the guys on here have to say about their experiences.
Edit: Yeesh. based on what I'm reading it doesn't appear that the cost of doing this, as a man, would make economic sense.
Once again, thank you all for the insight. 😊
Men "going pro" means you will mainly be cuddling guys. Men paying for professional cuddles outweigh women paying for professional cuddles from what I've been told.
That said, if enthusiasts aren't responding, you can try getting in contact with a pro cuddler.
If you are not having luck finding a cuddle friend, why on earth would you think it's a good idea to try to be a cuddle pro who who wants to charge for it? And your account was created in 2020, you can't tell me this is all stuff you're hearing for the first time.
@scpcguy posted: "Much of my rationale behind going pro is that it attaches a certain safety in the assurance that the person initiating contact (in this case, myself) will be understood as bound by a certain code of ethics and standards for which they cannot cross while operating in a professional capacity."
Anyone can apply to become a Pro, here; it means nothing regarding safety or intent, sadly. There have been many threads on this subject.
@Goonie4life -
"Men 'going pro' means you will mainly be cuddling guys. Men paying for professional cuddles outweigh women paying for professional cuddles from what I've been told."
That’s a reality I’ve only really come to understand after reading through a number of the pro forum threads recently. It definitely gave me a more grounded perspective on the realities of the field.
"That said, if enthusiasts aren't responding, you can try getting in contact with a pro cuddler."
That has actually been my primary route over the past few months, but it becomes cost-prohibitive when considering the frequency I would be wanting. Establishing something a bit more regular would be nice, but once-monthly sessions are the realistic upper limit for me from a financial perspective.
@pmvines - I shall respond with a bit more detail below.
"If you are not having luck finding a cuddle friend, why on earth would you think it's a good idea to try to be a cuddle pro who who wants to charge for it?"
Fair question. I will reference from my most recent previous response and then provide a deeper elaboration.
"Much of my rationale behind going pro is that it attaches a certain safety in the assurance that the person initiating contact (in this case, myself) will be understood as bound by a certain code of ethics and standards for which they cannot cross while operating in a professional capacity."
In other words, a large portion of my rationale behind the idea of going pro was the associative structure and expectations which come with professionalism itself. When someone operates in a professional capacity, the boundaries/standards of conduct/communication expectations are often clearer and universal to whatever outlet that they are gathering a client base for the service(s) they are offering, and there is an established understanding with both safety and consent even from the beginning of an interaction.
As you are likely very much so aware, individuals entering into these spaces are often trying to first assess whether someone 'seems' emotionally safe, respectful, and trustworthy; and so my rationale here is that 'going pro' would very much so formalize much of those expectations in ways that either casual-level (enthusiast) interactions sometimes do not. This may be not how others consider it, but I am doing what I can to offer a look into my own thought processes/assumptions a bit better.
"And your account was created in 2020, you can't tell me this is all stuff you're hearing for the first time."
I have been largely inactive for all but roughly the past handful of months. Within the past two, I have passively considered the idea of going pro but have only really been giving major consideration and research on the professional end of things very recently.
@SunsetSnuggles
That's honestly a bit disheartening to hear. I appreciate the reality check, and it makes sense. The "pro" badge cannot substitute for character, integrity, or emotional safety, but part of my initial assumption was that such would communicate a stronger baseline of things such as accountability and safety to others.