I just had a cuddle. The pro had another cuddle scheduled a half hour after mine ended. I lost all my oxytocin when she told me she had another cuddle right after me. Any thoughts on this.
I can understand why you would feel this way. The session gives the feel good chemicals but also I want my clients to feel special. Telling them about another cuddle immediately after takes away some of that feeling special energy. That’s just human nature. I’m not someone who can do back to back sessions, but if I were I think it would be an unkindness to share that information. But that’s just my opinion.
All that means is you had a sought after pro because she's really good, that's never happened to me maybe once or twice. As long as she gave you a good cuddle I guess it doesn't matter. It's better to be before then after hopefully, you're not before another person and she didn't change the sheets.😛 you don't expect a massage therapist to only have one client a day, the same thing.
Something to reflect on: Why would her having other clients impact the positive experience you already had? What does that actually change for you?
I'd hazard a guess that the illusion of exclusivity was shattered, which makes sense if one is coming from a place of only experienced cuddling within the context of monogamous relationships. However, platonic cuddling is not a replacement/substitute for monogamous relationships, so holding the same expectations for it isn't really reasonable.
Would you feel the same way after a massage if you learned your masseuse had another client booked after you? Would that change the relaxation, pain relief, etc. that you had received? What about if you found out your mental health therapist had other clients booked in the same day?
Being special and the focus of positive attention doesn't require exclusivity. Sometimes reframing our thoughts can make processing our conditioned knee-jerk emotions easier.
I think there are two separate issues here. There are clients who have a bubble of delusion that gets burst when you mention other clients and that’s something to have a frank discussion about to see what the underlying emotions are and if Cuddle therapy is the right service for them.
But there is something to be said about making each client feel special and having enough energy for them and good hygiene practices. Generally, I try to limit myself to two clients in a day. If both clients are in the same office location. I can get ready for the next client within an hour but since punctuality is not my strong suit, I always need a lot of buffer time in case me or the client is running late and I need time to change the sheets and yes, I change the entire sheet set every time, and sometimes I need to grab a bite to eat between sessions, which is why I need an hour. I also usually change my shirt as well because I think if the client is laying their head on me in a way, my shirt is the equivalent of a pillowcase so it’s only hygienic to change that as well. And of course, if I’m eating, I’m also brushing my teeth after and I’m also checking to see if my deodorant is holding up and reapplying that as needed. If I’m going to another location such as my other office or a client’s home, then I need two hours to factor in travel. But that also gives me enough time to mentally reset for the next person. In my early cuddle days there were times I did have three clients in a day I think one time even four and honestly, I just didn’t have enough energy left for that last client and it just wasn’t fair to them. I do my best to make each client feel special, but I also don’t hide the fact that this is my full-time work and I am running a business.
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I hope that the Pros who are booking 2 clients in the same day and especially only an hour apart are also being considerate regarding hygiene and showering between clients? If I were a client, I would hope for that. I don’t book 2 sessions in one day, I can’t turn my mood off and on nor switch it all around in my head so quickly but I think quite a few Pros who are much busier than me probably do and that’s fine also. But in general, it’s never a good practice or even very thoughtful to talk about one client to another. (As usual, just my opinion.)
another cuddle scheduled a half hour after mine... right after me. Any thoughts on this.
Nothing says "refreshing" like a freshly showered cuddler.
If nothing else, it's kind of unhygienic.
@Ohio46 it's difficult to know exactly what you're getting at with your question. As many have stated there's the unhygenic angle. I don't feel that's your real inquiry though.
Now unfortunately the terms and rules here on CC limit exactly how I can discuss the topic. So please forgive if I'm a little unclear.
When you engage a pro we understand you are purchasing a certain amount of emotional attention. I think often that includes a certain presumption of exclusivity on the side of the buyer. It's how we are conditioned and cultured is we personally wouldn't go out and offer heavy emotional support to 3 or 4 friends in a day. What you need to understand is that professionals do not operate on this same paradigm.
Professionals offer a commercial service. Providing a feeling of emotional connection for the specific time they are contracted. That isn't to say you're dead to them when the time ends but the situation between you is still transactional and their emotional investment in you ends when your financial investment in them ends.
So what you have learned is this. You can choose to focus on the enjoying the time you spent together or you can continue to be frustrated by the fantasy you've constructed there's a real connection. If the situation is the latter then perhaps paying someone for time and attention isn't the healthiest choice for you. That isn't a jab at you though because I think it's probably not the best choice for most people and I'm not sure the ones who can handle it are better for their ability to compartmentalize either.
I don't mean to sound like a smartass here but you've also been on the site going on 6 yrs and have 77 karma. I'm wondering how you've gone this long and seen so many people without this having been an issue for you in past ? Surely you realize the nature of cuddling as it relates to the service industry right?
@pmvines Where did they say that it had never been an issue for them in the past?
AL3XGage_06...Well Said by you.
"You can choose to focus on the enjoying the time you spent together or you can continue to be frustrated by the fantasy you've constructed there's a real connection."
Where did they say that it had never been an issue for them in the past?
@jdev25 Where did he say that it hadn’t been an issue?
@TheFunCartel Yes, that's exactly the same thing I asked.
@jdev25
The content of the comment that was made along with the context of the thread being started about it to me implies that it's likely something that appears to not have been that big of a deal or come up before. 77 karma so at least 77 different cuddle friends later it is interesting that it hasn't come up before that the period would have another client afterwards. That's just how the business works. Doesn't invalidate anything m just is interesting that it's a recent revelation.
Yes, I get that part, but I didn't see where they said it was a recent revelation or that it was the first time they experienced it. That's where I was confused. This may be their first time creating a forum post about it, but that doesn't have any bearing on if or how many times they've experienced it before.
Yes, that's exactly the same thing I asked.
I thought you could answer the question. You believe you have all the answers on the threads.
@jdev25 this is getting weird. Why are you constantly picking on and attacking people in the forums? It’s getting kind of aggressive.
@pmvines I honestly just asked the exact same question that Cartel did. Nothing more. No one was wronged. I just asked a question. Please re-read if you misunderstood.
@mauvefox Please quote where I picked on or attacked anyone above. There was nothing aggressive about anything I've written here.
I deleted my post directed towards you because honestly it's not worth the time or worth stirring up drama. But you know what you're doing.
One way or another, this is a source of income for them. I personally would not tell my clients “get up and go I have another booking.” Hei but every person way of communicating is different. It was not outlined in CC’s guide than pros cannot book multiple clients in a day. I have some other more dark thoughts about this but let’s save that for another day. However a solution for this is: Book her for the whole day!! 😆
If a pro books a hotel room to host and said room cost about 200 plus 100 to 200 deposit and only books 1 client for that day in an average of a 2 hour cuddle and she charges maybe 120 she is just barely breaking above even. And 15% goes to CC ... She's making all of $10 for cuddle session.
And I also do not see what's unhygienic about it. You shower and brush your teeth before each client , fresh sheets on the bed.
I had some days where I have 2 or 3 clients in a day. Usually when I'm traveling to a new area and only going to be there for a short time. It can be energetically exhausting to do so and I don't recommend it on a regular basis. But I also don't see the problem with it. Now telling a client hey I have someone coming in 30 minutes is kinda unthoughtful.
This past Friday I had a morning cuddle at a clients house checked into my hotel room and had a cuddle about an hour later and then had a late night cuddle through the other cuddle app I'm on. When I host and get a room I get one with 2 beds and I bring my own sheets as well in case I need them.
I feel like I need it to be explained to me like I'm a toddler because I'm really not understanding the issue.
@mauvefox it's interesting that certain people only seem to engage with certain threads, ignoring all the positive discussions in favor of the minority where criticism is taking place. Its almost like their only purpose interacting in the forums is to stir up shyte and create division where there truly wasn't any before their intervention.
And I'm not speaking of anyone one person, because there's multiple doing this. The timing is always interesting as well, as it inevitably seems to flare when there's a flurry of previously banned trolls popping back up. Maybe it's just pure coincidence, but sure makes one wonder 🤔
@MeltMyWay I'm also wondering where OP said that the pro ended things abruptly or announced she had another client in some sort of insensitive manner. For all we know, OP was packing up to leave, they were making small talk about what they were doing the rest of the day, and she answered honestly that she had another session scheduled. It's entirely possible that OP's bubble was burst without any wrong doing on the pro's part.
I'm also a bit concerned about all the emphasis on hygiene as if it might be the norm for a pro to not clean up and prepare between sessions. It sounds like low-key pro bashing, even if internalized by other pros. It's one thing the people mentioning that they need time in-between, and entirely another to suggest that a pro having multiple sessions is inherently going to be less hygienic.
@cuddlefaery OPs post didn't bother me, I genuinely am interested in why it took away from the experience though. I think it was some of the other commenters that got under my skin some. It is insulting to think it's unhygienic. And so many clients complain about how much we charge or complain if we aren't hosting and they don't want to pay hosting fees but then also seem to not want us to have multiple sessions in order to afford hosting costs. The feedback here and from clients I have seen in person or corresponded with can be confusing and contradictory to say the least. Edited for my multitude of typos ... It's late and I'm a lil tired 😂 and I'm sure I missed some
This is certainly a multi-layered conversation we are having here. First of all, pros, much like massage therapists, usually have more than one client per day. It just makes sense because you can't make a living with $100 per day especially when that money gets used for expenses. Having said that, the person was insensitive telling the OP that she had another client, if it was said without being part of small talk. I think a little more information would be helpful since there are several ways to mention another client that could be either good or bad.
I do think that expectations on the part of the client can cause problems especially if we are in a fragile state needing comfort after a period of loneliness. I have found myself lost in my thoughts after a session and had to remind myself that the session while therapeutic was nothing more than a session. If having other clients is a turn off for the moment, perhaps you should ask the next pro to refrain from mentioning other clients so you can leave without knowing. After all, ignorance is bliss. LOL! One thing I like to do is schedule my sessions early in the morning so I can be the "First in line" and catch the pro at her best, when she is fresh with her first client of the day. I also like to think that somehow my session would help her have a good start for the rest of the day since I try my best to be a good client.
Sadly, I’m often disappointed to see this forum become a venue for invalidating feelings expressed by someone who bravely elected to be vulnerable by sharing them. The tone here so frequently belies what one would expect from a community bound by shared interest in cuddling. Oh well…
As for the original post: I will mention that I worked four decades as a global management consultant in some of the world’s best known firms. Not exactly an industry built around caring, safety, and emotional trust. Still, we would never dream of placing/taking a call from one client while in the presence of another, or explaining that we needed to wrap things up because we had another client to get to. Nobody ever imagined they had an exclusive relationship. So why didn’t we do it? Because it was poor client management to do so. In short, it would have been seen as unprofessional. For whatever that’s worth.
(Bracing now for the vitriol…)
OP pays money to a woman for a service then gets upset that she is meeting someone else to get paid for the same service? Damn bro. The service you just paid her for is her income. You were never special to her in the first place.