I agree with @BR123. He doesn't want to cuddle married women.
Nope to cuddling a married person. Just feels wrong to me.
@BR123 @jps76 @ksb30 Why not OK with cuddling a married person, but OK with a person in a relationship? What makes it different when they're married?
@ksb30 it feels wrong because it is wrong… and spiritually unsanitary.
@jps76 @ksb30 thank y’all for helping me keep this place classy!
@BR123 It's equally wrong to me when people are not married but in a relationship.
@BR123 respectfully, "it's wrong and spiritually unsanitary" is your subjective opinion only, not a fact. It's also quite rude.
Everyone has their comfort level with whom they would like to cuddle. If you as someone's reason and they give you a reason, accept it. Don't question it or challenge it.
I don't feel comfortable cuddling with married people. And I won't. Mainly for my safety. I don't want any angry significant other assuming the wrong thing and coming after me.
Spare me the "what if's". I'll make the decision that is best for my in the situation. If someone I am cuddling's status changes, that will be a conversation between me and them.
Yes, I'm aware people can lie and say they're not married or in a relationship, but to my knowledge, and based on what information I have at the time, my decisions are made. If I find thar later, they lied and they are married, then I'll have the discussion that is needed and end it.
No one needs to justify their decisions when it comes to their comfort and safety.
@Pasquia there's absolutely nothing wrong with you or anyone else having that preference. ☺️ Unfortunately some people aren't able to disagree about preferences without denigrating those who don't share them.
For my perspective I wanted to add this, I had a friend who was seeing someone and they found out they were seeing people on the side ( albeit not cuddling) and chose to end thier life and connit suicide over it. Relating to cuddling someone that is married Its not like I could always ask the partners honest input.
@ksb30 that example really shouldn't be used, as it's conflating platonic cuddling with having an affair. And at the end of the day, the people responsible for the health of a romantic relationship are the people in it.
lol “spiritually unsanitary” this forum has some of the strangest people anywhere online.
spicy sweet speak for yourself, t is my opinion and i am entitled to post it as it relates to how I feel regarding the issue. Based off a few my crazy experiences on the site it could very well count sadly.
@ksb30 I did speak for myself. You should also do the same. The problem is you were using an illogical comparison. It is wholly unjust and illogical to compare platonic cuddling with having an affair, and then add in that someone took their life after their partner cheated on them.
@ksb30 Insanely illogical and dangerous comparison. at just the very top, cuddling isn't cheating.
But then to blame someone cheating for someone else's suicide is dangerous. for someone to do that means so many wires were crossed. there were so many other variables at play. people don't just end their lives because of one event. that is someone who had many other mental health challenges.
And that's me, speaking for myself, and my opinion about your publicly stated forum post.
@ksb30 I think you’re comparing apples to oranges. If you would have said “…found out they were doing platonic cuddling behind their back and committed suicide…” then that would have been more equal IMO
Does a person's relationship status matter when it comes to cuddling?
I admire the stealth advertising of starting several new posts on recently (or even currently) covered topics.
Yes it does
Depends on the situation. Everyone's different.
Yes, it does. Except when it doesnt.
Maybe search the forums. Because this has been discussed.
@IronicMaiden For real. Like it’s on the same page. Doesn’t even have to be searched for.
I think TampaCuddlePro knows the answer to all of these topics, but want to get more people to view her profile. The person who started the “Do Looks Matter” thread three years ago was…. TampaCuddlePro 🤣.
@Pasquia I fully agree.
An angry spouse is definitely a factor as well.
I was a personal trainer for several years: worked at gyms, managed gyms, did freelance training, the whole nine. I’ve had jealous husbands literally stalk me while training their wives, and afterward. Personal training is business; purely platonic. So, I can only imagine the lengths they would go to if it was more intimate.
I’ve also seen the flip side of that. I’ve seen rich people go to the gym to basically shop for other humans. They were likely fulfilling some sort of black buck fantasy, because they only seemed to target black guys, including myself. Essentially, certain guys would offer to pay to watch you “play” with their wives. I knew of a few colleagues who obliged those sorts of requests, and they eventually pivoted into some unspeakable things. I learned early on that once the world sees that a particular facet of your life has a price tag, it will negotiate it down until it can buy you at the lowest bid, and then use you up until you can’t be used anymore. That’s SPIRITUALLY UNSANITARY. So, it’s incumbent upon the wise to develop principles specific to their skillsets, and what they wish to protect the most. Sure, this is platonic cuddling, but habits must be built at any and every level.
I understand that this doesn’t apply to everyone. I’m fully aware that everybody’s not built like me. lolhahaha! I don’t judge people who do things that I don’t vibe with. I’m too focused on my life to care what other people do. But, that doesn’t stop me from thinking that certain activities are beneath me… and are thereby reserved for the peasants.
@Krisha honestly, I’m not really keen on dealing with any woman who is committed. It’s just that women in committed relationships are not as forthcoming with their relationship status as married women.
However, the violence aspect is a possibility there as well. I’ve seen guys who come up with every excuse for why they’re not in a better position in life, but then spend all day chasing sex. They’re on dating apps, dating websites, watching porn, preying on women with self esteem, etc. Basically, a man who’s trying to trick any woman into helping him touch his pee-pee. Then, once some poor unassuming chick falls into his trap, he’ll kill, fight, and even die over her. Everything that he’s worked for went into getting her, so now she’s all he’s got. Most guys know about guys who get into their fee-fees, and puff his chest at any man who looks at his girl for more than two seconds. They’re the reason why I say falling in love is like being on drugs, and the person you’re in love with is the drug dealer. One of the most dangerous dudes you’ll ever encounter is a dude who’s in love. Throw being broke, busted and disgusted in there, and you’re in for the fight of your life. lol!
I’d rather not get in-between that if I can help it. Yea, there are exceptions out there, but i like to live my life mitigating irrational risks. Too many people have checked out of life early over relationship foolishness, so I approach situations like that with extreme caution. I have a cousin who was recently put in the dirt over a love triangle. He was married and cheating on his wife with another married woman. Long story short, the other husband convinced his wife to lure my cousin into their house where he shot him in the chest. They were Native American, and this happened on a reservation, so they basically got away with murder. I’m not upset, because death is a hard negotiator. But, the moral of the story for me is to STAY AWAY FROM OTHER PEOPLE’S SPOUSES!
I know you thought you had a “gotchya”, but…. naaaahhhhh. Try again.
Peasants lol. Hurrrr okay there bud.
Strange thread with people struggling but it's all collapsing in on themselves. So weird how that happens "sometimes"
I very strongly feel that both sides can be valid. It really comes down to personal values, boundaries, and the agreements within each relationship and individual morals.
There is nothing wrong with someone feeling that cuddling a married person is spiritually uncomfortable, disrespectful to that person's spouse, or simply not something they want to participate in. That is a completely valid boundary.
There is also nothing wrong with a married person engaging in genuinely platonic cuddling when it is permitted within their relationship and they do not consider it cheating.
I personally don't have a problem cuddling with someone who is married but does danger sometimes cross my mind when I'm unsure if their spouse knows or not. Even though I personally do not see it as cheating many spouses or significant here would see if that way and could act out in violence against either party involved. That's just facts
The important part for all involved is honesty. Everyone should be upfront about their relationship status, their partner’s awareness, and what their boundaries are. No one should be pressured into doing something that conflicts with their values, but we also do not need to judge people whose relationships and beliefs look different from our own.
What is wrong for you can remain wrong for you without having to be wrong for everyone else.
@MeltMyWay I agree with you completely. I think what happened here is that some folks took what they thought was a moral “high ground” and ended up being quite insulting to others.
I’m definitely on the fence with the comments on this page of the thread. I can see both sides for sure.
However, going forward, I absolutely WILL be using the term “SPIRITUALLY UNSANITARY”! Not making fun either, I genuinely love that!