Precisely, @BlueIris , it's dishonest
I feel like it's a safety issue, current photos are important
It does depend on the timing of said photo. All of the pictures of my profile are at least within a year old and that would be my personal time limit before rotating to something more recent. I keep myself in good shape so I'm fairly confident on keeping up with the rotation.
To the others, whatever you want to put up, is your right to do so. It's your profile after all, but do expect some people to make their own judgments of what you put up, especially if it doesn't reflect the person you are today.
@TheFunCartel Well you said she was too nervous to book 🤷🏽♀️ Just genuine questions from someone who never booked a session to a very experienced cuddler. Don't worry, I won't "interrogate" you anymore 👋
I think that was a little strong. I thought it was just a genuine question
I'm so confused how it would be a safety issue... Seeing a current picture let's you know someone is safe? Disagree.
I can understand thinking it's misrepresenting. But I've been on this website for a long time and come and go. My photos are old and I'm not gonna updated them. Am I misrepresenting myself or am I lazy? Maybe both. Oh well lol
@Sashamcgee if I can't even recognize someone upon meeting them in person (which has happened), I find that incredibly unsettling. It speaks to deeper issues, and I'm simply not comfortable with it, which is why I have certain rules in place, listed on my profile. No one is forced to book me, and my boundaries will be respected. 🤷 I am direct and open and my pictures are recent and filter-free. Expecting the same from someone I'm going to be in such a vulnerable situation with for at least an hour is bare minimum. Oh, and I don't require the recent picture to be posted. I just require it to be sent to me while we are messaging.
The filter bit is another reason I don't put stock in pictures. Even the dudes are using filters now and they smooth people out to an unrecognizable degree. Forget age, I've even thought people were a different race, they edited their pictures so intensely. If safety were a concern, a current filtered picture isn't gonna help the cops much. I base my safety on how people interact.
~ Sunset Snuggles
🫂 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Junkie 📷 Shutter Bug
It's one step of multiple steps I have. Not respecting my boundaries means they won't get a session. Works great for me. ☺️
The main response I get regarding my picture and what I look like when they see me is “I thought you were a jet”. Well guess what, a lot of people just aren’t ready to accept a biplane.
@TheFunCartel Sounds like biplane erasure to me. And some people can't even accept the Enola Gay.
@SpicyNSweet I'm not saying you can't have your rules in place. I'm just stating the safety thing doesn't add up to me. But your body, your rules. I don't think anyone is arguing that.
@SunsetSnuggles yes! Nailed it in my opinion.
The safety part: My POV
Before I go to meet someone for the first time (always a public, non-cuddle meet), I let someone know. I tell them when, where, and with whom I'm going. I also forward a picture of the person I am meeting. I've even had one of my friends surprise me and show up early to sit in the café on the other side to keep watch ( not the norm, but appreciated). The point is an out dated photo, if the unfortunate need arises, can't be used to easily identify someone if something happens. Even after the first meet, I still let someone know who I'm with if it is a new person that I am cuddling with. If something happens behind closed doors and they have to be reported to the police, an updated photo that represents their true current likeness is best. An updated photo isn't the only step when it comes to safety, just one of them. It may not be something that you understand, but please don't discredit it or make light of it.
@Pasquia exactly, I'm so tired of people saying "that doesn't make sense to me so you're wrong/why bother" (essentially, I know i'm paraphrasing) Especially (and i know its not always the case) when they have a completely different world view from mine.
Thank you @Pasquia exactly
Agreed
One thing I've noticed about photos (here and elsewhere): - When you meet someone in person that you've previously only seen in a still* photo, they always look different.
Yes, that can be affected by the age of the photo and by filters and other things, but I've never not been somewhat surprised meeting someone in person for the first time. An additional difference here on CC is that most women that I've met from here don't wear makeup (or very limited makeup) during a cuddle session, but many do wear makeup in their profile photos. This isn't a problem, but it does contribute to people looking different in person than in their photos.
There are also a lot of profiles that I see with obviously heavily filtered photos, but I've never actually met one of them in person, so I can't compare their filtered photos with real life.
* Actually this tends to apply even to video calls with someone. I work remotely and even people that I've met with over video for months can surprise me when I meet them in person.
Just to be clear- I didn't discredit anyone's opinion or say they were wrong for having it or that they shouldn't take those steps. I shared my opinion which may be different than yours.
@Achterbahn great points
@Sashamcgee you disagreed with a point no one made.
No one said a valid picture guarantees that person will be safe. But a valid picture does mean I can make a police report and have a valid picture. It means I can give it to my safe person along with my location and when they can expect to hear from me next.
The deception of giving a false picture can tell you something about their personality. You “might” be wrong” but it’s a dark alley I’m not willing to go down just because it “might be safe”.
It’s part of what is usually a multi part vetting process.
Great points, @mauvefox I do always share the picture with my partner before the session.
@Pasquia I always send a current photo anytime someone would like one, to meet. I also have the same safety steps as you and others have mentioned, forwarding all the info to my safety contact.
@Achterbahn 💯
@Sashamcgee Agreed and same.
15 year old picture is wild. I don’t mind if it’s within a year or something. If I’m worried I’ll just do a video call or meet for coffee
@Sashamcgee You didn't say anything wrong.
@SunsetSnuggles Agreed 💯, how people interact tells you so much more.
Also nothing guarantees that they WILL send a recent pic when asked for it. It creates a false feeling of safety.
I don't know any cuddlers who only have ONE layer of protection in place. It's great to have multiple ways to keep yourself as safe as possible, and encouraging all of that should be standard practice here. ☺️
I don’t really have an issue with pictures. I’ve reached out to people who have no profile picture whatsoever.
I could care less about how someone looks; the reason I require a video chat before accepting an appointment is because I want to look the person in their eyes and also listen to their tone when we're discussing their needs and wants. I understand someone wanting to protect their anonymity and choosing not to post a picture which is another reason why a video chat works for me, I can see who I will potentially be cuddling with, and it also helps both of us feel like we sort of know each other before we actually meet in person. It's a red flag for me when someone doesn't want to meet via video chat first. Video chats help both of us determine if we're a great fit or not, and if not, we move on peacefully.
@SunsetSnuggles I agree with you some of my favorite clients have been what the world would considered not good looking but to me they were beautiful and amazing to cuddle. And I like to be surprised I only ask for pictures when I feel like the person may not be real, but other than that, I like the surprise of what the person looks like and I don't really care what they look like cause I just wanna love on them.
I suppose if I was paying for Cuddles, I would want the person to look at least kind and gentle in the face not scary or mean looking.😬
@SunsetSnuggles, whenever I read something from you, I usually find myself agreeing with at least part of it. I also think appearance is one of the least important parts of choosing someone to cuddle with.
I understand why updated photos matter for safety and basic honesty, but even a perfectly current picture can only tell you so much about a stranger. For me, communication, consistency, boundaries, and how someone presents themselves before the session tell me much more than whether their selfie was taken last week or three years ago. And people struggle with self image and body dysmorphia all the time.
I do think the photos should still reasonably reflect what someone currently looks like, only if they decided to send it to me. I don’t often asked unless something feels sketchy so I find it a bit dishonest when someone send me an unrequested picture which seems worlds apart. But again, if they treat me with respect and kindness 🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
If someone doesn’t send a current photo of themself. Especially when asked prior to scheduling, that seems like that person is trying to be dishonest. That is a definite red flag to me and I wouldn’t be scheduling a session with them. Safety is the utmost important part of all of this. Always trust your gut and never lessen your boundaries. You have to look out for yourself and a current photo is a way to assist you in making appropriate decisions.