Why do women here describe overweight as curvy?

December 2016

For dating it depends on how they wear it.

For cuddling it doesn't matter.

For either it's tough to beat a "pear-shaped & plump". ^_^

December 2016

This thread is exactly what turned me into a borderline misanthrope over time. I'm not an overweight person, however, I have body issues that cannot be dieted away. I have a laundry list of congenital deformities which causes the majority of people to reject me on sight. Is this my imagination? I'll put it to you this way: I have done several pieces of "ghost work" since moving to the greater LA area in 2000. What is "ghost work," you might ask? Ghosting is a common LA recording studio practice where an individual who "isn't marketable" plays the instrumental parts on a band's album because they have a "marketable person" in the group who actually can't play.
Am I bringing tho up to stroke my own ego? No, I'm bringing this up to prove a point. Society and culture nowadays puts WAY too much stock on looks. This is the reason why "beautiful people" get away with treating people like garbage while those considered "less attractive" are largely ignored. The point is why doesn't an individual's character mean anything anymore? There are people out there right now with beautiful gifts and talents to offer the world while I'm seeing people argue over the semantics of "when is curvy actually obese?"
Who gives a damn? Let people be people.

December 2016

@Patchworkman. .. yep. You can see the gamut here...the spectrum from enlightened to ignorant, maturity to juvenility on this site...so pretty much a microcosm of the world along with all of its blindingly beautiful shared experience and waste of time, small minded trivialities. Hugs to you, Borderline Misanthrope. I wish for you as I wish for myself... incredible, aware beings to be a part of your reality and support you in a world with great potential and also great cruelty. I have found the forums to be eye opening to say the least, but it does help one to identify personalities one would like to engage and others one would like to avoid! lol

December 2016

Maybe I'm a bad person but I think the comments on this thread are hilarious lol

December 2016

Not sure why someone's weight should matter if you're looking for a purely platonic cuddle buddy.

Brandi · December 2016

As someone who has dated on online profiles, I think its not much to ask for people to be honest with who they are. if they are tiny, slim, chunky heavy, curvy, fat, large, fluffy, whatever the case it is, if you are online, and wanting to meet with people in person, you should be honest with how you look. it may all be platonic, but if you are to hire a pro, you want to know what youre coming to see
And if you are online dating/or on a profile, you should be confident enough to be honest with who you are. Its not a pleasant surprise to find someone looking totally different than youd thought. Especiallyif you are paying for it..
its like seeing a really amazing tasty burger on an ad, and having it come out like flattened and sad. lol.
Not against curvy or large women. but I think you guys got so lost in hating this guy for posting about bodies, but he really just doesn't want to be catfished, and thats totally fair concern.

December 2016

@Aiko No worries! You're good in my book, darling. (:

December 2016

@sunflowerfield technically someone's weight doesn't matter.

The original poster asked why they classify themselves as curvy if they are really overweight. Of course there are no guidelines that state what the difference is. I personally won't pay a professional cuddler that I don't find attractive and of course what's attractive to me may not be to the next person. I also agree with @brandi that people should be honest.

Once again though, a persons body type is open to interpretation and everyone has their preferences. If a girl is obese but lists herself as athletic, that's pretty ridiculous but the difference in terms of curvy and overweight, that's not horrible in my humble opinion. The words overweight carry a negative connotation and some people may not be comfortable with that. I believe there's always the option to leave that box blank if it's that big of a deal.

I once hired a pro that looks absolutely amazing in her pics and when she showed up, she was definitely much chubbier than she looks in her pics. She is very pretty though and it was still an amazing session.

Ultimately though, whatever. Let people be so long as they aren't hurting anyone.

Brandi · December 2016

I think people make the term overweight negative. or take it in a negative way. but it really is just an adjective.
I used to be fat. Large. Chunky whatever you want to call it, I was about 80 pounds heavier. its just a fact lol. now I'm tiny and fit. Also a fact.
and people did call me large and now they call me skinny.. and thats okay too lol. theres a jack for every jill

docgatorb · December 2016

and a warm bed for anyone to cuddle in, a fat bed.

December 2016

Speaking of honesty, I actually say in my profile that I'm skinny with a flat chest and no ass lol so if you want curves, there's none here :-p

December 2016

This thread and some of the responses disappoint me. I don't care how one sees themselves. Body shaming is a pretty heinous thing and shouldn't have a place here nor anywhere. I speak from a place of being on the fairly lean side of average. I could care less if someone is carrying extra weight. It's cuddling. I've cuddled with big and small. So what?

December 2016

I was just thinking its interesting how for height, you can lost your exact height but not weight. Would people feel better or worst if you could list your weight instead of body type?

docgatorb · December 2016

or a complete body scan.

December 2016

This is a cuddle-buddy website. Not a dating website, you ding-dong. What does it really matter? If you're so scared when you see the classification of 'curvy' that you're somehow being duped, then scroll on by. Otherwise, take that nonsense to OkCupid or Tinder or somewhere else. Sincerely, a 'Curvy' Girl.

December 2016

I'd like to point out that, although this is not a dating site, and I'm glad for that, it's completely acceptable for people to use whatever criteria they feel appropriate in associating with other people in whatever capacity to which they agree. If people wish to only cuddle with people they find attractive, that's their prerogative. In truth, almost all social interactions are partially defined by how attractive we consider the other person, even if we are not specifically attracted to or interested in that person.

Now, that said, many of us hold to certain ideals about identity and worth outside of, or completely independent from, physical appearance. And there is certainly value in a person beyond their shape or skin. However, it's important to note that cuddling, in its most basic form, is a shallow act. It is very beneficial and meaningful, and can be a gateway to much deeper interaction. But by itself, it is shallow.

Finally I'd like to underscore that we, as humans, are biologically (or evolutionarily, if you prefer) predisposed to associate with people we believe can benefit us, either as allies or as mates. Our primitive brain always considers this. It makes a lot of survival sense, but it offends our ideals. The fact is, overweight is always unhealthy and has been statistically associated with lower intelligence. Our primitive brains react to overweight persons as poor potential mates or allies, and reasonably so. But that does not grant us license to be inconsiderate of the feelings of others or to devalue them as people.

I guess that's all I wanted to say. There's value in honesty, value in tact, value in consideration, and value in fitness. Let's stop judging and shingles each other for our bodies, our preferences, and our values.

December 2016

@misscreation may I ask what you mean by saying this isn't a dating site so it doesn't matter how someone classifies themselves? Are you saying that in choosing a cuddle buddy, what they look like is irrelevant?

December 2016

I don't mean to sound shallow but I'm not going to cuddle or pursue someone that I don't find attractive. I don't really care how a person classifies themselves, curvy, overweight, whatever, show me a picture and tell me about yourself and that will determine whether or not I'm attracted to you. Then once we meet, we'll see where it goes. I don't believe for a minute that non pro females on this site will go cuddle with anyone that asks. There has to be some kind of attraction whether it be physical or whatever it is. I feel like this thread has gone off in several different direction. The bottom line is, how a person classifies themselves doesn't matter. It's up to you to decide how you feel about that person. It's really simple or am I insane?

December 2016

I think this category is particularly tough because two women identical in height and weight can have two different looks. I think it comes down to proportions. I've seen the term chubby and fat used on identical bodies types and to me those terms are very different. I've also seen men butcher these terms, it's not just women trying to gloss over their weight.

But either way you slice it, bigger people make for better cuddlers. I have dated a skin and bones girl once. It was not a pleasant experience. Maybe I'm just too soft but her elbows and other boney appendages poked me in ways I did not care for.

Cuddlygal21 · December 2016

@IsAnIsland, while I agree with some of what you wrote, and scientists have found an association between higher weight and lower intelligence, putting it like that simplifies it way too much and doesn't tell the whole story. The main study that came out with that potential correlation has since been extended to try to establish a causal direction - and I'm not sure if the data is yet conclusive as to the causal direction.

That said, and having studied nutrition myself, I would also argue it's not that cut and dried these days with the way our food supply has changed (food is available 24/7 now, which it never was before in human history), the lack of physical activity, and the poor education concerning nutrition overall. All of these factors have led to our society getting larger as a whole. This means, even people who have PhDs struggle with their weight

So all I'm saying is, one cannot simply apply a label of lower IQ to someone simply based on their weight. And I'm not saying you said that - however, one has to be careful when making blanket statements based on "statistics." There are a lot of factors at play in the ongoing obesity crisis.

And one last thing - our views on weight have changed not only with the times, but also differ between cultures. In Polynesian culture, big is beautiful and weighing what an average American weighs would be considered skinny and unattractive in their society. (Now, to be clear, I'm not arguing whether it's physically healthy or not - just that in their culture, extra weight is considered attractive.) And throughout history, being plump immediately identified one as a member of the upper classes, as they were the only ones who could afford more than bare subsistence. It has also been recognized scientifically, that women who are plumper in the hips and lower body are actually biologically preferred as mates as that feature signals to males that the woman is fertile and would be more likely to survive childbirth, versus a woman who is more frail or who has smaller hips. So to say that as a species some extra weight makes for a poor potential mate is not exactly accurate either. Of course, it's all a matter of degree. I'm not talking about a morbidly obese people here, but rather those with some extra padding.

Just some things to think about

December 2016

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes

docgatorb · December 2016

Cuddlygal21 correctly points out that a statistical association is not the same as a causal relation. I would also point out that there is no consensus on the definition of intelligence so that any study that claims to include intelligence is suspect and probably lacking in intelligence. Further, our primitive brains are probably no better able to determine genetically beneficial mates than a pair of dice although it is popular to promotes such a view.

In terms of Polynesian culture, it was also popular for people to feed each other. The more popular women gained more weight. It was a sign of both fertility and popularity.

Cuddlygal21 · December 2016

@Morpheus - Agreed. Beauty does come in all shapes and sizes.

@docgatorb - Lol, you are probably on to something there, too. I suspect if we were better at picking genetically beneficial mates, the divorce rate wouldn't be what it is. I don't know how they measured intelligence in this particular study. If you're interested in it though, this is an overview of it. (https://personal.lse.ac.uk/kanazawa/pdfs/COEDO2014.pdf)

Happy Holidays everyone!

docgatorb · December 2016

This study is a review of several studies with the Wechsler Preschool and Primary Scale of Intelligence being the primary IQ test. The article tries to ascertain if obesity leads to lower intelligence or if lower intelligence leads to obesity. The article concludes that the evidence is overwhelmingly that lower intelligence progresses to obesity and not the other way around.So, even if you accept that IQ test scores can predict anything other than success in school, they precede the gains in weight. Thanks for the reference link.

Skyisthelimit · December 2016

Having a big gut is an abomination.
We can't individually call out people as being unhealthy, even if they are 'overweight' or 'obese', because that person could in fact be very healthy.
However, it has been proven from countless studies, and experimentation from our ancestors over 1000's of years, that being 'overweight' or 'obese' is not healthy and you are more vulnerable/prone to diseases and health problems.

Not all smokers get cancer or health issues, but we all know how harmful smoking is. Some smokers will smoke a pack a day and still be 'healthy' until they die. Likewise, being 'overweight' you might not have any major problems until you die, but you are increasing your chances by like 1000%.
Fat shaming is wrong however, people can choose how they want to live.'Overweight' people that are burdening the medical health systems, and increasing costs, can be put in the same category as drug abusers, smokers, alcoholics, people with bad diets or otherwise unhealthy habits. So we cannot really single out the 'overweight' people.
At the same time, nobody 'overweight' can make a positive argument about being 'overweight' because really, there are no benefits to being 'overweight' and there are tons of negatives.

December 2016

Thanks, everyone, for reminding me why I'm less active on here nowadays.

Sincerely,
A person with body situations beyond his control. Carry on.

December 2016

This thread went way off into left field

December 2016

A person can come in to read opinions on how "unattractive people aren't good potential partners" and "obesity and low IQ are synonymous." It's starting to make sense that my inbox is generally people "advertising." All I'm getting at is some rather repugnant and dehumanizing things have been said on a thread contained on a site that's allegedly different than others. I'm willing to bet more than one person have read through this stuff and become incredibly discouraged.

Bravo, folks.

Strongeye · December 2016

Its not just on this site. It is very rare a woman says she is curvy and is actually curvy the way its suppose to mean. I guess larger women say that to feel better about describing themselves.

December 2016

And it continues...

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Why do women here describe overweight as curvy?

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