They have rules as a guideline.,again if its consent between 2 adult people no matter what it may entail then where does this behavior fall into place?
what you do ,where you go with a cuddler is nobody's else's business as long as there's an agreement between both parties
@carino Have you read the Terms & Conditions of the site ?
@carino "You agree to never. . ." is more than a guideline.
Like I said what you do in your spare time with your cuddler is nobody business but you and the other cuddler
@carino Providing it doesn't occur during a meeting which was arranged through the site.
I think that anyone who arranges to meet you or me through the site, will expect us to follow the rules, which means not even indicating the desire to do the items listed.
If you are saying it's fine to ask, because it is then consensual ; you are compromising the chances, of those of us who might find a cuddler partner, who is expecting to not be asked. It turns CC into a normal dating site.
Rules are being followed in every way as long as its consent from both parties.theres nothing being broken..it becomes broken when one insists and the other doesn't
what you may request to a cuddler may be consent for them and may not be for others..so if its consent from both parties no rules are being broken, if there isn't consent then obviously rules are being broken and this can be anything you may request.
@geoff1000 - If by some chance two people really like each other enough to start dating, it shouldn't matter that they met here. This website isn't the police and it's not illegal. You're just not supposed to be on here looking for a date. Love is a complicated thing. You could not have any intention to fall in love with someone and it just happens. If it's mutual, then it shouldn't be anybody else's business what they do.
Boys boys boys...... Enough already. First of all when someone has 5Karma with reports of being a perfect gentleman, kind and respectful from women who have cuddled with him we as a community have to give the man at least a TIDBIT of credit for real world experience.
again...... INTENT HONESTY COMMUNICATION AUTHENTICITY..... Can we please stop the bickering about being right? It gets a bit exhausting and it's not nearly as much fun as being able to hear from a lot of different people and their experiences. Sounds like you BOTH have a clear understanding of the site rules and regs and you also have a desire to hold to them with your potential snuggle. Maybe everyone is just irritable because no one is out there getting HUGS!!!!
@PlayWithMyHair I think you said it perfectly and succintly!!
Communication and honesty are key here.
Your profile was a super fun read.... the diary is a great idea! Thank you for being a fellow enthusiast!!
@DarrenWalker it is so good to see you!! You are a close second to @DonLonG
You've either got to stand up the whole time—which is tiring—or get a little too intimate with the porcelain for my bones
You are killing me!! hahahahhaa like "ummmm... hello.... are we going to stand here all day pretending its a waterfall?" I have missed you.
@geoff1000 I don't know that I agree with you that CC is to be held responsible for the actions of a single human being on here. They (CC) have a responsibility to create a framework that is built on an ideal of platonic cuddling. CC moderators have a responsibility to engage in correction if people are on here for the wrong reasons and get reported by another member but that's not the same as being responsible. No one could sue CC for all the idiots that come on here acting like something they are not.
@carino The rules are not being followed, if either party even "indicate(s) a desire" to do the items listed. With no indication of desire, there can be no communication about it, and hence no prior consent.
@Mike403 I'm emphasising that the activities, or even the "indication of desire" to do the activities ; must not occur during a CC-arranged meeting. That is the essence of the site, its key market difference ; that it is a place whee those things don't happen, and we have agreed to follow those rules.
If CC members don't follow its rules, it will become just another dating site, lose its key competitive difference and fail. People who have a bad experience, by people not following its rules, might have a "right of action" for being misled that the rules were enforced. Unchallenged postings saying that adults can decide, suggests those rules are lax.
If people want to act outside the rules, they cannot even suggest it during a CC-arranged meeting or over the CC messaging service. They should finish the meeting, use a different method of communication, and start by saying they want to no longer be bound by CC rules.
If any potential cuddler thinks that I will casually break the rules and suggest non-platonic behaviour to them, then I will only get to meet those who are happy with that ; which loses any benefit to me, of being on a platonic site.
I'm already tired of this debate lol.with that being said good luck in finding that cuddler who has the same compatability in whatever that may be and enjoy your cuddle experience .thats all I can say THE END😆
@carino You are wise in retiring from the debate. Some people have to be right in all affairs and are tedious in doing so. Your time isn’t worth that small-mindedness.
Some people read and understand the Terms and Conditions of a website, and having agreed to abide by them, keep to that promise.
Maybe no court would enforce that promise, but as one of The Magnificent Seven says, "Those are the promises you really have to keep".
@geoff1000 - If the conversation happens to come up at some point and they both mutually like each other, should they be like "But we met on CC, so we're not allowed to date."?
@Mike403 The rules prohibit indicating a desire for non-platonic behaviour, which means it can't "come up iin conversation", during a cuddle session or text messaging through the site.
If either party wants that, they should invite the other to join them off site, then broach the subject.
If instead people can have that conversation during a cuddle session, and things can develop, CC is no different to a dating site ; and that behavior becoming prevalent or accepted, will further discourage women who want cuddling and intimacy without such topics "coming up in conversation".
The whole premise of CC is that it allows people to behave in a way which would "normally" lead to kissing, dating, and sex ; in the certain knowledge that it won't. I imagine it is very difficult for some people to hold back from steering the conversation in that direction, but it's the price we have to pay. We must not make the other party worried, that they might have to steer the conversation away.
If they want that activity, there has to be a clean break from the site, to start again ; rather than sailing one's ship into the eneny port under a flag of truce arranged by the Red Cross, then delivering a btoadside.
@geoff1000 - I'm sorry, I agree with you on a lot of things, but this isnt one of them. If somebody is feeling something towards a certain person, they should feel safe to talk about it without feeling like they're pushing boundaries even though the other person probably won't feel the same about them.
@Mike403 Is it that you think the site rules don't prohibit such discussion, or that people should be allowed to break the site rules ?
My understanding of CC, which makes it different to a dating site ; is that a person I'm cuddling with, can be sure that I won't talk about such things. That allows them to be more relaxed and feel more safe.
Some of the pros have said that discussion constitutes pushing boundaries.
It shouldn't be too hard to wait until the session is over, then start a new conversation about dating.
@geoff1000 - It even says in the FAQ that it's safe to talk about such things.
I would not accept that request myself, though it may be feasible with an enthusiast cuddler who is open minded. Honestly you'd probably have better luck on a mainstream dating app looking for something like that. If you're searching for a professional service, there are paid escorts who would probably be quite happy to as well.
@Mike403 That's in the "professionals" section ; they might be more prepared for such discussions than non-pros, or prohibit it in their client agreements.
@geoff1000 - I do think that site rule is to weed out the guys looking for a date and especially anything sexual.... but feelings can develop even if that wasn't your intent. That's how life works. There are guys who fell in love and got married to a coworker. That doesnt mean they got that job hoping to find a date.
@Mark - Do you want to clarify? We're just bickering back in forth with our opinions at this point.
I've not read this thread but what matters is the intent behind a conversation or meet-up. Our moderators will try their best to identify if someone is here for the purpose of dating or whether feelings developed organically.
A member gently expressing they have unwittingly developed feelings is one thing but making a romantic proposition definitely comes with risk. It shouldn't be done unless you know it's mutual. If it's not, the recipient could very well report you. We might ban you if we think you joined here for dating or it could just be a warning against your account if we see no evidence of prior intent.
I'm not sure if that perspective helps the discussion but this is often a grey area.
@Mike403 Dating coworkers is a good parallel. An unreciprocated romantic advance, could cause trouble for the person making the advance, and also the business. This is particularly true when the person making the advance is in a position of power, which for CC might be physical strength.
I think the protocol is to make that advance somehow "offsite", perhaps by arranging some sort of social event. One certainly shouldn't do it in a 1:1 business meeting, or via the company email system.
I guarantee you 90% of these comments are LIES 🥱.. 99% WOULD TAKE THE OFFER.... HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU WON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE 🤔... YOU'RE ALREADY ENTERING SOMEONE HOUSE YOU DON'T KNOW! CUDDLING IN THE BED/ COUCH/ WHEREVER! RRRRRIIIIGHT😭
My dumb @$$ thought you meant in an empty bathtub fully clothed before I started reading the replies lololol
I had thought of a very specific scenario, like someone hiding from a physically abusive parent in their childhood and locking themselves in the bathroom, and so consequently, it was the only place that felt safe. I'd do that if a friend asked me to. We'd have to get padding in there, I imagine it wouldn't be very comfortable.
But it would be odd request from someone I don't know.
I don't think I could do that with anyone if there was water in the tub. The sensation doesn't sound very pleasant ~
@EarthlyAngel003 thanks for being honest 👍
@geoff1000 and @Mike403 ~ Here's my unsolicited opinion...
What I understand you both to be saying is that it is absolutely okay for furthering things with someone you've met through CC.
But, if I'm understanding correctly, I'm in agreement with Geoff on this and here's why...
As someone who likes explicit details around where all the boundaries are prior to meeting, my anxiety would force me to tap out if asked to move a boundary line mid-cuddle. Based on the "rules" I feel my expectation to not ever have to feel the in person pressure to say, "Yes" is reasonable.
If I am communicating solely through the CC messaging platform, or am cuddling with someone I've only known through the CC platform, that to protect the platonic sanctity users should be able to expect in such a scenario, any indication of wanting to further things should happen away from the site and only be shared once the cuddling has concluded.
If people are getting together with specific agreements, it doesn't matter if one tip-toes around their feelings or comes right out and says something directly - It taints the experience for those of us wanting to know that what's been agreed to is what can be expected -and- that if our partner wants to "next level" things they'll save their thoughts and feelings for a time outside of our cuddle time and will do it through a means not connected to the CC platform.
It may seem trivial ~ But sometimes the smallest of things have great impact.
No need to reply directly ~ I just wanted to try reframing what's been said and add my thoughts to mix.
A magazine for airgun enthusiasts, advised people wanting to hunt vermin on a farmer's land, "Don't turn up on their doorstep with a loaded rifle to ask". You should perhaps write, or phone first ; but if you do go in person, leave your rifle at home.
A door security chain allows conversation ; but in order to open the door to allow the visitor in, it has to be closed first.
In the UK, distance-selling and doorstep-selling regulations, allow someone a "cooling-off" period of a few days, before the contract becomes binding ; in case they have felt under pressure to agree.
My rule of thumb would be that the subject of non-platonic behaviour, should not be broached, in a situation where it could then happen immediately.
If the feeling is reciprocal, the invite will wait. If the suggestion is made at a time when it could be immediately acted upon, it is likely being done in the hope of obtaining a good result, while the other person is "in the mood", or is reluctant to object. This is equivalent to them being "in an emotionally vulnerable state", and is hence a form of exploitation ; and people who worry that might happen to them, will not get the benefit of being able to temporarily let down their emotional guard.
One of the pros on the forum said they wouldn't be comfortable being asleep with a client ; which is a reflection of her expectation, that the client wouldn't follow the rules. I expect she would be more comfortable sleeping in a hospital, with nurses and doctors wandering in and out all the time.