If she/he wanted to be held in the shower/tubš¤
The CC rules only say the amount of clothing which must be worn, not the location. If it were wet, that might be an issue.
I'd say that would be non-platonic, so couldn't be done under the aegis ( I've been itching to use that word ) of Cuddle Comfort. Doesn't mean I'd say no, only that it couldn't be done in a CC-arranged meeting.
No, baths and showers are just big enough for one person, much less two!
As long as the appropriate clothing is on I'm sure it would be fine. It's relaxing to have warm water shower and listening to the water could be relaxing
I personally would not accept that request.
Pool - OK Jacuzzi - OK Under a waterfall - OK Hold each other down a water slide - OK Inner tube on the lake - OK Mud Wrestling - Hmm... maybe Shower - WOAH BUDDY! Too far.
I wouldnāt be comfortable with doing that because I doubt the request would mean staying in our cuddle clothes. I would have to assume that request would mean ācan you wear a bathing suit, or be semi nudeā and Iām certainly not doing that lol but Iām also not going to sit in bath water with someone while wearing my clothes thatās awkward and uncomfortable. If the request was to randomly sit in an empty tub and cuddle, no matter how amazing I am at my cuddle skills, itās impossible to keep that comfy for a long period of time.
My answer is no.
I'm gonna have to agree with most of the other's. Sounds way to crowded, not at all comfortable and doesn't call for appropriate attire š¤·š»
That's gonna be a no for me.
@DonLonG you do realize that THIS is in fact why you might just be my most FAVORITE contributor to the forums!!!!!!
I don't think so.
Question.... (of course there are a million threads about this with different verbiage...)
The SPECIFICS of the request are always something that people try and create a very black and white distinction about when really the larger issue is overlooked. INTENTIONS are the things that need to be looked at. A shower with appropriate clothing on (not much different that a waterfall, hot tub or ocean adventure) would possibly be a nice change of pace sometimes (and certainly create fresh smelling cuddles after). If the intentions are about keeping the connection EXACTLY WHERE YOU BOTH ARE WANTING THAT TO BE..... because you have spent time communicating that.
I don't think it would be any more inappropriate or "not in the spirit" of CC than some of the things that people have a desire to try out. What is inappropriate and certainly unappreciated, is if it is just a guise to deviate from what has previously been discussed about the cuddle. Intentions. Always about the communication and the authenticity in the connection.
There have been some requests that would absolutely red flag me but are completely within the boundaries of the CC guidelines. ie. Would you be willing to stand by the door and take ten minutes to slowly remove your jacket, then gently take off your sandals.... right foot first. THAT is creepy but "APPROPRIATE"!!! hahhahaha Call me crazy but I have a red light in my head that goes off when stuff like that comes into the discussion. šš¤£š
@DonLonG Maybe YOU need a bigger tub even without a planned snuggle inside of it!!!!
I have done platonic cuddles in pools and hot rubs and have washed and brushed out folks hair. But I can see where that would be a red flag especially without established trust and context
I personally wouldnāt do it ither , a pool definitely, or even jacuzzi.
Lol @DonLonG ~ You're the best!!! š«š
edit/addition Depending on the circumstances, I might be okay with this... When my cousin's remodeled their house they added a bathroom and while doing so added an outdoor shower (plumbed with hot & cold) too. Being at the beach, where weather/conditions can be unpredictable, this is really convenient.
It means you could come back from an afternoon of adventuring all windblown, rain soaked and covered in sand to have a nice warm shower before peeling everything off and getting into plush robes then sitting by a fire with cocoa.
Given the right cuddle buddy, and some strategic privacy measures, it could all be quite sweet...
...maybe...
OP, you just have to find the right cuddler. Some folks here seem fascinated with the word āinappropriateā in all contexts. There are lots of beautiful cuddlers on this great site who donāt bring a certain judgy-ness to every situation. Remember, we clients talk amongst ourselves too.
The trick is to guess the intention, to prevent the first step on a journey of 1000 miles. If a customer asks in a store for some rat poison, and when asked how much, they reply, "Enough to kill a 200 lb husband", that's a red flag.
However, some people don't fall into the category of "Give them an inch, and they'll take a mile". My feeling is that any "dodgy-sounding" request is best made only after several meetings ; after it has become clear that the requestor enjoys the normal meetings so much, that they won't jeopardise future ones with bad behaviour.
I think it's the movie "Weird Science" where the twenty-something woman suggests to the teenage boy that they shower together, and he stays in his clothes.
A natural hot springs would be my ideal place.
I wouldn't be able to do it from this site, but if I got to know someone enough, and met them a couple times already, and I knew there were 0 sexual intentions I'd love to cuddle in a tubby with someone. I'd love to get as close and intimate as possible without crossing that sexual line. It's all based on certain people.
I would say itās how comfortable you are with nudity of another person and yourself. Nudity doesnāt mean sexual as long as the rules are agreed to first. Also if you have to ask the question in the first place then remember yes means yes no means no and maybe ( the reason for the question) means no. Maybe always means no.
Like Geoff said, depends on the agenda. If being held in the tub is all they wanted, sure. I'd want to make the porcelain a bit more comfy though. And of course I'm answering for me. If I were a woman and a guy wanted that, hard no. At least until trust was built.
@verona Hmmm, that's not what I was told
@verona UK traffic lights go : Red Red & Amber Green ( I think USA ones just jump from Red to Green )
Green means you are allowed to go. Red & Amber means you will probably be allowed to go soon, but not yet ; the Red part means it's a variant of "don't go".
I guess that "maybe" could be considered the same way. It's still "No" ; but used when a "Yes" may be possible, even probable, in the future. It's like an airport announcement inviting passengers to make their way to the departure lounge, isn't permission to get on the plane, yet. In both cases, it needs another step of permission. Athletes are punished for "jumping the gun".
The famous escapologist Harry Houdini died after being punched in the stomach. His "trick" was to tense his muscles ; but the man punched him as soon as HH said it was okay, not when he was tensed and ready.
Perhaps we should start using the term "No, not yet" instead of "maybe".
I think its all about mitigating each others expectations, boundaroes, and consent, communication is soo critical in this, especially there is no history, the cuddling is the easy part. When I asked what would you like, some answers like to be read to while cuddling, have their hair brushed, cuddle outside, in a pool jave all been, others too. Being honest and open in communication is needed. Its important to invest the time having those conversations and getting comfortable with the person you are cuddling. I need to hear a voice, it gives me a sense of personality, don't need to see what they look like, personality is everything. No one will advocate for you more than yourself.
Despite this site being for platonic cuddling, I still have boundary/limits discussions with my cuddle buddies to ensure that we are both comfortable. So yes, I would accept her invitation but also discuss that we must follow site rules/cuddle comfort/water appropriate clothing.
[quote]Perhaps we should start using the term "No, not yet" instead of "maybe".[/quote]
anything not explicitly, 'yes' is no; therefore there is no need for any 'maybes'.
Iām sure Iāll get myself kicked off here for saying this- and I would like to preface This with saying I have never done this-however, my response to this, and most other situations I see posed on here is as follows: Whatever the two cuddlers mutually agreed to should be acceptable. What if watching me eat is what relaxed someone? What if watching someone shave their face and get dressed and ready for work is what reminded me of the person I lost and that is what I really needed? The purpose of this is supposed to be to give us something we are missing. At least, thatās how I see it. So, if two adults have a conversation about what Works for them and they are both completely comfortable with it then who cares if they end up in a shower, bathtub, or the kitchen sink? The cuddle comfort rules exist to help with safety and legality. I think that adults can have conversations with integrity and determine what will give them the feeling they need for that session to have been successful. Personally, for me, Iād have no problem with a shower or bath. Itās intimate, warm, and a reminder of when I still had a person to do that with. I donāt see it as sexual and wouldnāt sexual use it and Iād let the other person know to make sure they felt the same. If they didnāt then Iād respect that and weād find something else. Communication and honesty are key here.
I, personally, wouldn't accept that request unless there was a definite time limit, 'cause in a shower you've either got to stand up the whole timeāwhich is tiringāor get a little too intimate with the porcelain for my bones. Plus... I'm a tiny dude, but two guys in your average shower tends to be a bit cramped. As illustrated by the incomparable @DonLonG.
And yeah, I'm totally assuming we'd both be fully clothed and not drenched in water. My skin's crawling at the thought of that particular tactile sensation. Cuddles plus water? Uh, no. Not my thing, thanks. No matter what the time limit was.
@PlayWithMyHair I think the point to remember is that the CC site "is responsible" for what happens in meetings which it has helped to arrange.
If two people go to a paint-balling event, hire the gear, and go into the woods ; the organiser is held ( at least morally by the press ) if either is injured. The organisers therefore have rules.
There's nothing to stop those participants deciding instead to fight with catapults, baseball bats, or firearms. We might say in a free society that they have that choice. However, it isn't fair on the paint-ball organisers, or future participants, to jeopardise the activity ; so they should keep to site rules until the session is over, then meet again, with their own rules.
I don't want to play paint-ball, tell other participants that I don't mind being shot ; and then wonder why I have a .357 inch diameter hole in my head. I don't mind racing drivers going at 200mph, but not on the road while I'm commuting to work. There has to be a hard break, where the participants effectively "sign out of" Cuddle Comfort, then re-engage with their new rules.
So yes, adults can do all sorts of things, but members of Cuddle Comfort effectively promise not to, while they are "acting as members of the site" ; and I think I will have more chance of finding a cuddle partner on the site, if they know I'll adhere to that.
@PlayWithMyHair P.S. If you meet someone through CC and want to say, "Let's meet up without all those pesky CC rules", I say "go fot it". š
CC is not held accountable or any liability for what 2 consenting adults agree to do and not to do.i agree with playwithmyhair..whatever helps you with cuddling or you just wanted to do something different ,or maybe the fact you use to these similar things with an ex long ago..communication and trust is key to a finding a great cuddle buddy who have similiar interest and/or is ok with any request or situation that you or the cuddler may have
@carino Why do you think the CC site has rules about behaviour ?