🤔🧐😳 Is there really such a thing as TOO MANY CUDDLES?!?

sillysassysillysassy
in General

This might be a heated debate so make sure to put on your tough skin!!! Recently our famous @DonLonG mentioned a PREPOSTEROUS notion (that I happen to agree with) that there might be such a thing as TOO MUCH CUDDLING!!!

I would love to hear the feedback about this.... AGREE or DISAGREE 😊

  1. Agree. Sometimes there can be too much cuddling and here’s why.92 votes
    1. Disagree. NEVER!!! #Cuddlesthatneverend!!!
      58.70%
    2. BOTH Somewhere in the middle and here’s why.
      41.30%
«134

Comments

  • Mike403Mike403

    With the same person? Maybe. You start to get too emotionally invested in them and run the risk of a heart break if they later stop cuddling.

  • FlyingToasterFlyingToaster

    I suppose there could be too much of anything if it interferes with other things you need to do or want to do. I think the desire and enjoyment of cuddling will always be there though. It's important to have a balance - Do the other things you enjoy, and the things you need to do, and you can always make time for cuddling too.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Yes there is . When it gets to impose on other things you have to do there is too much , can say the same about most things in life. And if I have roo much of anything i will tire of it . So yes even though cuddling is a fun activity you can have roo much of it.

  • TouchSanctuaryTouchSanctuary

    It really depends on the context, I suppose. If you're an enthusiast and trying to maintain a more casual cuddling friendship, then cuddling more than once or twice a month with the same person might make it difficult as it could lead to greater emotional investment and romantic attachment (depending on the orientations of both involved). Cuddling with the same professional very frequently creates a similar risk.

    If you have a romantic or platonic life partner, then I would say you can't really have too many cuddles unless it somehow interferes with other parts of life or someone doesn't really want to do it.

  • [Deleted User]Mmart (deleted user)

    There can definitely be too much cuddling just like many things in life.
    Cuddling is a very special activity between two (or more) people that should not be done so much that it is taken for granted or becomes less meaningful.

  • _marC_marC

    Of someone is trying to sleep and doesn't like being touched i would consider that too much cuddle

  • [Deleted User]cualtzin (deleted user)
    edited November 2020

    I doubt I’ll ever find out 😕.

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    I imagine I could, in theory, get to a point where I feel I have coddled too much, but I have never actually gotten there.

  • [Deleted User]lovelyhugs (deleted user)

    I put both because in a overnight session we did not lock down a time to sleep and Oh man did I want to sleep but LOL not him. I was forewarned to agree on a time to cuddle and not cuddle by my cuddle family in posts and did not so lesson learned. Weirdly enough, although nice too much cuddling because needed to sleep a little more.

  • CuddleBuddyMIACuddleBuddyMIA

    No! I don’t think there’s too much If cuddles .😬

  • sweetsnugglesazsweetsnugglesaz

    @lovelyhugs Agreed! An overnight session automatically blocks out my entire week for recharge time haha.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    @TouchSanctuary ~ Ack! Only once or twice a month to maintain a "more casual cuddling friendship"???

    What if both have designs on building a friendship that includes cuddling? Because.... [thought break imposed to crunch some numbers...]

    ... Huh...? Never mind! Doing the math, that's 6.5 - 11% of one's days spent cuddling (depending on the number of days in the month). Excluding a presumed 8 hours of sleep for every 24 hours, that leaves one with 49 to 55 hours a month (maximum) to spend actively cuddling.

    So one could still be working towards growing a friendship, with a cuddle buddy, for up to a solid 49 to 55 hours straight - once a month or up to 24.5 to 27.5 hours max. - twice a month.
    But that seems a bit excessive!

    I think 16 to 18 hours max. - 3 times a month or 12 - 14 hours max. - 4 times a month sounds much more reasonable!

    Plus, I personally would be coming in fairly well under the "danger zone" limit since my preference is to cuddle 4 to 12 hours max. - 3 to 4 times a month. So Yay!!!

    Whoot! Cheers!! 🥂

    🤔 Hrm... I hope my math is right even if my logic isn't...

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited November 2020

    Not only is there such a thing as too much cuddling, there is an excellent thread about a particular case going on at the moment .... wait ... here ....

    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/9095/i-need-help-where-are-the-boundaries-in-a-monogamous-relationship/p1

  • Lisa2476Lisa2476

    @craM

    Agreed!!!!!

    Awake cuddles can last for hooours but if I'm tryna sleep I need my SPACE

  • TouchSanctuaryTouchSanctuary

    @TouchSanctuary ~ Ack! Only once or twice a month to maintain a "more casual cuddling friendship"???

    What if both have designs on building a friendship that includes cuddling? Because.... [thought break imposed to crunch some numbers...]

    There's absolutely nothing wrong with building a friendship that involves cuddling more often than that! But if you're a woman and doing that with a straight man, the chances of the guy remaining romantically detached is very low. My experience is if you cuddle with men more often than once or twice a month on an unpaid basis, they will usually catch feelings and struggle to deal with it - so they will either make a move to date you, or they are likely to move on to avoid more heartbreak. To be honest, a lot of men will get romantically attached even just from cuddling once a twice a month. So it's a very delicate situation to navigate.

    There may be rare exceptions, and of course men who are aromantic and asexual will not necessarily feel the same way. Also having a cuddly friendship with a straight woman where you meet as much as you like wouldn't be an issue. I think professional cuddling is different because there are clear boundaries and expectations from the start, so people understand it's not the same as an unpaid relationship.

  • FlyingToasterFlyingToaster

    @CuddleDuncan Yes, that's the thread that inspired this thread

  • [Deleted User]arghdaddy (deleted user)

    I think the key here is the word “cuddle”. So I assume that it’s during cuddle time & therefore no such thing as too much. Then again, you have to be someone that likes & wants to cuddle.

  • JazzyPantsJazzyPants

    Ooooh...I absolutely agree. You can cuddle too much and also, it is dependent on the individual. I think, like with many things that release neurotransmitters (dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin), people can become addicted to the pleasure and comfort of positive touch. When I am seeing clients upwards of 20 hours a week, my body starts to hurt. My back, hips and shoulders from laying down. Obviously I haven't had this problem since the start of COVID but I had to limit my weekly sessions.

  • sillysassysillysassy

    So many thoughts and ideas.... We all have had some interesting experiences that led us here it seems.

    I see what you all mean by becoming slightly "addicted" to a singular person or specific touch relationship. The amount of conversations I have had with different cuddle buddies is so much more than any other friendship/relationship/connection because of trying to maintain clarity on each of our boundaries and needs. LOTS of talking about how we're feeling and how things are going all along the way. COMMUNICATION is key.

    @JazzyPants What a fabulous profile!!! We have but a short time on this planet and I believe we must make the most of it.

    You ladies that are professional seem to have it easier AND more difficult at the same time. It does seem like we all face different benefits and detriments.

    Finding balance..... it seems to ALWAYS come back to this being my biggest struggle. 🤔

  • sillysassysillysassy
    edited November 2020

    Sorry I messed up the poll initially, what a goober!!

    Speaking of balance.....

    I'm taking a short hiatus, not for any negative thing but I just have too many things on my plate. You are all so fun and I can't wait to come back and read more stories!!!)

  • FlyingToasterFlyingToaster

    @sillysassy I enjoy your posts :)

  • sillysassysillysassy

    I find myself getting distracted with cuddles sometimes.... I LOVE THE SNUGGLE!!!! It is such a beautiful outlet, forget the world and enjoy the sunshine. Then you come down from your cuddle high and WHAMMO reality hits you smack in the face.

    How many wind up feeling extra energy to attack the rough stuff after a cuddle? Or do you wind up just wanting to crawl back in and cuddle up???

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    @sillysassy ~ I'm in the crawl back in camp...

    I think the first time I would have felt the "high" I was pulled out by things beyond my control, but have felt the deepest want for a repeat ever since! Then came the other day, where thankfully I had the next day off. I was feeling a euphoricly floaty high that knocked me out for over 12 hours, but has also kept me smiling like a goofball ever since!

    So yes to more of those please!

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    If you find yourself consumed by cuddling to where your thoughts and actions revolve around cuddling many cities now offer Cuddleadone clinics. Just like methadone clinics for heroin addicts, Cuddleadone clinics help break the cycle of addiction. The idea is simple—walk in and get a hug. The clinician will hug you for one minute, step back, slap you, then send you on your way. This methodology is called Slap Happy for those in the know.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    Lol!!! 🤣😂🤣 @FunCartel !!! Literally laughing out loud! Love it!

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @FunCartel YES!! I want that job!

  • [Deleted User]Ennea2HugU (deleted user)

    As a mom I have experienced too much cuddling. My second wanted to nurse for every reason under the sun and wouldn't stop till I made him or he fell asleep, always wanted sleep on my chest, always knew when I left the room and would be upset, wanted to be held all the time, even when I to the bathroom, he pretty much was only happy if he was being held, specifically by me.
    There are times I miss it now that he is almost 2 but I really like being able to sleep on my side again, and releive myself in semi peace (I'll still get fingers under the door and screeching at times)
    Granted this type of cuddling is pretty one sided.

  • waynewvwaynewv

    I don't think so, but that's just me. I could see where someone would be become so called attached and may want it to go further. Maybe get romantic ideas that would cause problems. I go into it knowing, OK, this person might be a great cuddlier, but we are meeting for a cuddle only !!!. I do find it hard not to feel friendship after a few meetings and for me on one occasion, after just 1 cuddle, I felt like we have know each other for yrs. !!, hard to describe, I guess we just FIT.
    For me to refill my cuddle/hug tank, it needs at least once a week, LOL. I have found a great Pro and we cuddle about once a week, I feel we both are refilling our cuddle/hug tank and that makes it special in my book. For it to feel 100%, both need to feel the urge, not just one !!. I have often wondered how I could explain it to friends & family, as no one knows. They would not believe there was not more to it. Being a motorhead type guy, I relate it to motorcycle riding, which I have down since a teenager. For it to work, you must become one with the bike, so corning hard in the mountains where I learned to ride, WV., you ride as 1, not a bike & a person, but you mold together with the bike, then as you sail thru the corners, it flows like a bird of prey in flight. !!, For none riders, I know it sounds corny, LOL. But a great cuddle, requires both to mold/blend together, then both will have a great cuddle. Of course it will take some trust from both, and I'm sure more from a female.

  • FlyingToasterFlyingToaster

    @sillysassy I feel a little of both. After a good cuddle, aside from the cuddle high, I feel more content and it seems easier to work on the tough stuff, but I also often want to crawl back and cuddle up again.

    lol @FunCartel :lol:

  • LyleLuvsHugglesLyleLuvsHuggles

    Ok I can kinda see the case for over cuddling with one person if your doing so platonically, I've had to explain to more than one cuddle buddy both male and female that for me a cuddle is just a cuddle.

    Is it an intimate thing? Of course how can it be other wise. In some cases I can honestly say I've been closer with a person in a cuddleship than with some people I've had actual relationships with, but that doesn't change the fact that we are just friends. Granted friends that snuggle up and share a deep and meaningful connection but just friends none the less.

    I can't entirely lay the blame on them though, for most people the level of closeness we get to enjoy with our buddies is something that's been reserved solely for romantic partners in their lives. This is why I'm so adamant in hammering out boundries in advance and taking a slow build up to cuddling with people now.

    It plays hell with my conscience knowing that this person that I cherish is hurting because I didn't take the time to be clear enough, or worse yet missed the signs that their feelings were changing before it was too late to fix the problem.

    This way of life has some absolutely wonderful benefits. How many people can say with utter confidence that they KNOW another person? That they have some one they can trust enough to completely drop all the walls and just BE with? Now even in this small section of the community it won't be ALL of us and I'm sure some of us haven't found that yet, but statistically it happens for people like us more often than the average Joe/Jill.

    It of course has some truly terrifying risks as well. If your not careful you can fall into the same trap, chances are we've all seen relationships torn apart because someone fell for a friend, add the closeness we have to that mix and its exponentially worse. Then there's always the chance an S.O. (theirs, yours, doesn't matter), can't take how close you are with some one else. A lot of people are not equipped to deal with the fact you can be that close to someone and have no romantic interest in them what so ever.

    And this is just the emotional stuff it's not even taking into account the horrors of the world we live in.

    This is far longer than I meant it to be and far more than I had intended to say when I started it so I'm gonna shut up and wish y'all happiness safety and cuddles.

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