@FunCartel ~ You get to still be you! Labels just help us all find and identify with our kind, &/or those whose kind we tend to like, more easily. But for sure, always and forever, still be you!!
edit: Plus it's nice to feel like you actually "belong" somewhere sometimes, that there's at least that one thing you know you have in common with someone else.
I find labels to be confining and a snapshot of a moment, as if people are inert and delineated for perpetuity. Why be encapsulated by others? Not my style at all.
@FunCartel ~ Huh... I hadn't thought about it like that... 🤔
I guess maybe it's just a preference thing for some? IDK. But I liked the idea of adopting one as a show of solidarity with those that for so long were (and in many places still are) considered as "other" - Not worthy of defining, and in many cases not worthy of consideration, or basic human rights, and showing we're for ending systems of marginalization and oppression.
No. I can understand not wanting to put TG but you did explain a little in "about me." I cuddled a TF and she did not put that in her profile anywhere. She explained to me that she got more cuddles by leaving it out. I think the reason is live vs. paper. Movement, body language, eye contact, the sound of your voice, etc. None of that comes across in a profile and can change a person's perspective in a flash.
@quixotic_life Oh others have always been labeled, usually as a way to be kept beneath others. Divisiveness is inherent in labels for good or bad. Your financial institutions label you, your politics label you, AI marketing definitely labels you, so when you start labeling yourself you are doing everyone else’s work and there really isn’t anything unique in a label. The human is what is unique. And a human unlabeled is the greatest gift of all because you get to unwrap what makes them tick for yourself.
Well said, @FunCartel.
I'm very happy to cuddle with trans and gender diverse people. I've found a lot of people who are interested in the platonic cuddling scene in my area are gender diverse individuals.
@FunCartel ~ Well argued... Dang it, because that too makes a lot of sense!! So now what? It's like a damned if you do damned if you don't situation.
I think it comes down to a sense that if the majority of those who are fighting for equal rights, and eliminating systems of imbalance, say labels are important, who am I to argue? It just makes sense and sits right.
Also, I don't think my putting another label on detracts from my uniqueness. Who knows? Eventually I may have so many I won't need wrapping paper, and the one(s) that are lucky enough to receive and unwrap this gift, are just gonna have to have persistence and put in some effort to get to what's inside.
edit/typos
@FunCartel Compelling argument against the use of labels. First thought that comes to mind is that there are two types of labels. Those which we apply to ourselves. And those which others apply to us. I believe this discussion focuses on the labels which we apply to ourselves (our gender identity). For me, these labels are simply descriptors we use to exchange information about ourselves. However, it does worry me when people start to believe the label defines the individual. On this site, I’m listed as a straight male. I don’t often think of myself in these terms, because I think I’m much more than what those two words convey. We’re all much more than our labels.
Bloody hell what a mature and and sensible forum. You are all a joy, people. However, I think everybody who posted is cis, and that's a warning sign that we might not be as caring and welcoming as we believe we are.
I was thinking about this question before the thread started.
I'm a cis straight man, and I wouldn't be comfortable cuddling with another man. I know I should be, and I wish I was comfortable cuddling everybody. I'm not ashamed of this deficiency in my character because it's not my fault. It's a product of the cultural environment of my early life, where men did not even hug men. I am, however, very embarrassed by it. I do now hug men, and I have reached the point where I am pretty much comfortable with that.
(Yes I know I should just find a nice understanding guy and give it a whirl, and one day I probably will, but I just don't have the spare energy for that at the moment.)
So I do cuddle women and I don't cuddle men, so where do I stand with other genders? I just don't know. I do sometimes swipe right on trans women on dating apps because they seem to be interesting people and I want to meet them. For cuddling, I would probably have to abandon all labels and just focus on the individual: am I comfortable cuddling you? Which is a bit rubbish for them if the answer is no.
My best friend is a tran woman and we cuddled the other week. She was going through a hard time and I felt like she just really needed a good cuddle. As a trans woman that can be very difficult for her to find employment and I thought about her becoming a pro on here but I don’t think she likes cuddling enough to do this full-time.
This is a fascinating and thought provoking topic! I would absolutely cuddle a trans man. However, I am not yet comfortable with cuddling other women (cis or trans).
Women are beautiful to me; however, I am attracted to very masculine energy. I might be open to cuddling a woman in the future if our energies (and other factors) were compatible, but it’s not something I’m seeking at this very moment.
As a non-cis person: I mostly pick my cuddle buddies based on how well we get on. This has very little to do with gender. (I've noticed that people who slap nonbinary labels on themselves tend to be more open-minded and easier for me to get along with, but that's not always so—personality is way more important than identification with basic social categories.)
I also choose based on physical characteristics, to an extent: if someone smells really bad to me, I don't want to cuddle them. This has nothing to do with gender.
And I've developed a bit of a preference for softness: I like my buddies to be soft and squishy. Cuddly, you know. I'm pretty sure you can see where this is going: weight, like cleanliness, has absolutely nothing to do with gender.
TL;DR I'm nonbinary, so the whole "would you cuddle a transgender person?" question seems weird to me. Why would gender, of all things, be a deal-breaker?
Unless you're using "gender" as shorthand for a lot of other stuff.
I can't honestly say there's any gender I absolutely WON'T cuddle with, though I fully admit that it is much harder to reach the needed level of comfort to cuddle with other men. It HAS happened but it's a rarity. 3 or 4 short term things, and my only long term male cuddleship. Who as it happens is my second favorite cuddle buddy EVER a drag queen I'll call M. M was just so completely and openly herself that it was practically impossible not to be comfortable around her. She just OWNED whatever space she was in. She lived life her way and to hell with what anyone thought about it.(Admittedly it didn't hurt that her type was tall skinny twinks and I'm a short chubby teddy bear lol)