Touch preference charts

xandriarainxandriarain
in General

I have seen a lot of charts like these going around such as this one in my pet Facebook groups and had the idea that we should have charts like these on our profiles so out boundaries can be made clear since it’s not always easy to discuss boundaries with a new person. Obviously the chart would be of the human body. What are your thoughts?

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Comments

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    Anything that can help with discussing boundaries is good by definition. But I'm a bit puzzled as to how this would work. Every client has different boundaries and therefore a different chart.

    If the chart is for you, well we already know the most important part of it, it's in the site conditions..... Actually I'd be curious to see your chart.

    My chart is, coincidentally, exactly the same as my superhero costume - dark green total onesie, with red budgie-smugglers.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    If having a real convo is too hard... try filling out one of these for yourself, then give it, a blank copy and markers, to your cuddle buddy to fill out, prior to your next snuggle session...

  • pmvinespmvines

    Dont touch my feet and dont touch my face . No chart needed . That was easy

  • [Deleted User]sdguyintucson (deleted user)

    Oh, feet and face are almost a must for me! I find it strange that some do not like to be touched. It's outside my understanding.

  • pmvinespmvines

    @sdguyintucson I am just way too ticklish on my feet and face, I actually kicked the poor person giving me a pedi once cus it was too much . and sometimes the face stuff is a little too girlfriendish for me .

  • cuddleYouMecuddleYouMe

    An interesting idea, the more information the better I'd say.

  • [Deleted User]DrCuddleBug (deleted user)
    edited November 2020

    @cuddleYouMe to some degree. I do think there comes a point of too much information; over saturation. At least for me. I want my cuddle sessions to have a degree of developing organically. I guess a balance should be struck. What that balance is will be different for each individual.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @quixotic_life That’s what those are for. I traced it on my bedroom floor in chalk and that has freaked out a few people. I just tell them to step around the body.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    Lol ~ @sdguyintucson

    "Oh, feet and face are almost a must for me! I find it strange that some do not like to be touched. It's outside my understanding."

    I am 100% the opposite!! Especially the feet! Like @pmvines I've reflexively kicked people (only twice though) for touching them. So... no thanks!!

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    Other than the obvious places I do not like my neck or armpits being touched.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    @FunCartel ~ I'd be more like, 'Doot-dee-doo... nothing to see here...' [diverting their attention by pointing out something on the other side of the room, and blocking their view of said outline, while escorting them past in a weird side-step shuffle] ... 'doot-doot-dee-doot... I'm so glad you came by.' 😳

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    @CuddleDuncan It would be a blank chart that people would fill out to their preferences.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    I can see that having a blank chart to hand could be a very useful tool, for the occasion when somebody is having trouble describing their body's reactions. I would suggest a red pen and a green pen, and leave the neutral areas blank. You could have male and female versions with the relevant areas already marked.

  • mtpmtp

    For me, location is not nearly as important as the intent and manner of touch. The only things I can think of that I definitely don't like are pain, sudden movements such as tickling, very light touch, and feeling certain textures that are unlikely to be relevant to cuddling (I dislike the feel of a fine mesh on my skin, for instance). Other than that, I can find touch enjoyable just about anywhere.

  • [Deleted User]ImajenMoon (deleted user)

    @quixotic_life ~ LOVE the visual aid!!! This would help make things clearer!!!

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    @ImajenMoon ~ 🤣😂🤣😂🤣!!! Hilarious!!!

    @mtp ~ I was just imagining yours being presented in a "Cuddler Portfolio". On the inside left, are the images colored in various shades of green (except none are too light so people know you like intentional touches ~ none of those airy wispy touches). Then fixed to the right side are three strips of paper (green, yellow & red) that over time will have a mess of fabric and texture samples glued to them! Though the only one I'm pretty sure of to start with is the red one having mesh and feathers on it. 😉

  • oberonoberon

    Would definitely need a way to indicate the pressure preferences

  • littermatelittermate

    Where is a part of it, but I also feel that intent is a big deal.

    If someone's trying to be sexy with me in a cuddle, don't touch me anywhere! Just leave the same way you arrived only faster.

    If I start to trust the platonic nature of the cuddle, and the person's interest and capacity to keep it that way, it's just the usual places where it would be odd to receive touch in a platonic encounter that are off-limits.

  • [Deleted User]cualtzin (deleted user)

    Really does seem like it could be helpful. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. We all communicate in different ways. As for me, I’d rather say and hear the words. Even if it’s less efficient. And the way in which they’re spoken, tells me a little more. I also wonder if the zones are truly static. As you build trust, yellow might slowly turn to green. So I’d find it difficult to hand someone a diagram, like the one that was created for Trouble Bunny up above. For me, it depends on the person and the moment. But if someone handed me one of their own, I’d say “Cool. Everything is clear.”

  • littermatelittermate

    Great point @cualtzin. Trust does shift things some. Someone who I've established a trusting relationship accidentally grazing a "sensitive" area of my body isn't a deal. But someone intentionally heading there totally is.

  • FlyingToasterFlyingToaster

    I think a touch chart would be very useful, but I feel a bit like @cualtzin on this one. I'd prefer talking and describing it, as I think communication that way helps get to know each other and is more personal than just showing a diagram.

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    @FlyingToaster some of my clients don’t have the best english, some have bad hearing and with some communication can be difficult.

  • FlyingToasterFlyingToaster

    @xandriarain That's totally understandable

  • [Deleted User]verona (deleted user)
    edited November 2020

    This seems weird but the no no square song comes to mind lol

  • [Deleted User]cualtzin (deleted user)

    @xandriarain In the situations you describe, a clear diagram seems more than just a good idea. It could be an essential tool.

  • 62classic62classic

    If I had a body map like that it would likely be different with each person depending on the vibe and environment.

  • bekah_cuddlesbekah_cuddles

    I pretty much just stick to the CC rule: No touching in areas covered by undergarments.

  • [Deleted User]creedhands (deleted user)

    As A painter, I just bring sample quarts to each session and we start the first 15 minutes painting each other.

    @FunCartel @quixotic_life I would just leave the body outline on the floor and cover it and the adjacent walls with thick clear plastic. Then just tell them you are doing "renovations".

  • [Deleted User]socalcuddler (deleted user)

    🤣 a chart?? Really?? 🤣😂🤣😂

  • hillbillyhillbilly

    @verona- I had to look that one up. What a riot, Baby Shark doesn't seem nearly as bad after listening to that :-)

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