@valkyrievixen If they're already storing credit card information for the pros, I think it's a fantastic idea to extend that to the people who want to book pros as well! It wouldn't solve all the problems (ie. if some arseholes decided to do chargebacks), but it would be a good start.
This site is a social networking site. My impression is that they will not touch with a bargepole anything that could be twisted into making them look like an agency.
They are also very unkeen on anything at all that slows down the register-book funnel.
These are all business decisions. The way they handle problems is by banned people and monitoring IP address to help preventing them from coming back. In other words the first line of defence is the messaging process, which it is why it is wise to exchange a few messages with somebody before agreeing to anything.
Consequently, the onus is on members to keep other members safe, which is why it is imperative that anything inappropriate is reported.
@MelanieL I don't know about cuddling obviously, but I do have experience of sob stories from the wider world. They are always fake. Always. On the very rare occasion when you meet somebody who has a real tale of difficulty, it comes out in a completely different way.
Maybe phone number verification so they can't make new accounts.
It’s never fun to be at the end of being stiffed. Hope it doesn’t happen again OP
@CuddleDuncan, so true...so true. I didn't go with my gut feeling when I accepted his request, and that is entirely on me. Anyway, he won't be sharing his sob story and scamming people on here or the other site due to having been banned. Thank goodness that we have wonderful moderators to protect all of the cuddlers from scammers!
Since anyone has opportunity to hire a pro and become a client , the idea of requiring clients to provide credit card info applies to all that sign up for the website .Now won’t that deter membership ?
It would deter my membership. I don't save my CC info anywhere online because places are constantly hacked for that info. I would rather not deal with that.
Yes I have been stiffed both in person and virtual sessions. First time the guy wanted to extend and then made up some BS excuse for not paying me for the extra time said he had some bank issues with his PayPal and it would take a couple days and then I never got the money from him. He had the audacity to try and book another session saying he wanted to pay me back in person and was not interested in sending me the money. The second time it was for a virtual session and the guy said he had a bad experience with another pro and he wanted to pay me the first half upfront and the second half at the end but I never got my second half. The third time the guy was a no-show The first time we tried having a session and Did not submit a deposit for the second time we had scheduled. We finally met after the third attempt and I was in a rush and running late so I forgot to collect payment in the beginning. Not only did he push my boundaries throughout the session but he also tried to solicit me at the end and then left me in the hotel room while he went to the “ATM” and never came back. This is after I asked if he was going to walk out on me and he refused to leave any personal items in the room so I knew he would come back. This is the guy that made me start requiring 50% deposits for all new clients and ban all clients who are no-shows.
@xandriarain If he was pushing boundaries throughout the session, I hope you reported him! And that he was banned, so that no one else should suffer the displeasure of his company.
@sunnysideup Yes he was reported and banned. Unfortunately he deactivated his account at the time of the session but I saw him come back on a month later so I reported him immediately. I would have left but he had already wasted so much of my time and I wanted to get paid and I knew if I left early I wouldn’t have gotten paid. If only I had known he would’ve stiffed me I would’ve left halfway through the session when he first started making me uncomfortable.
@xandriarain Good that he got banned. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
So sorry @xandriarain those things happened.
@xandriarain That’s horrible! People request a paid service and break trust just to temporarily keep money that they will spend any way. I wish much better with future clients.
I wonder if they ban IP addresses when banning someone? And not just the user? It should be difficult for transgressors to get back on and rip off professionals.
Why should the site require a credit card for every member? Many people don't hire pros (women almost never do) or don't have credit cards. There are many methods of payment other than credit cards. Ever heard of cash or Paypal? If the site required a credit card to be a member, many people would not join or would terminate their membership. Even lots of pros left the site when a credit card became mandatory.
@squeakytoy I’m 100% for them having my credit card info, doing verification with a phone number, and anything else to keep professionals safe and so they get paid. Lots of websites and apps have our personal info. Everyone takes risks everyday. This site having my info would be a risk worth taking; especially if it keeps all cuddlers safe.
I wonder if they ban IP addresses when banning someone?
They certainly do something along those lines, but I don't know exactly what and I suspect they would reluctant to say, for obvious reasons!
Serious verification of members is very unlikely to happen. This site has been around for a while and the people who run it are perfectly well aware of their options on this kind of thing. If they wanted to do it, it would have happened some time ago. The ethos is one of social networking and the site does not appear to want to do anything that could be construed as acting as an agency.
IP addresses can be shared by multiple people. There are three people who use my IP address. So banning an IP address could have unintended consequences.
Flip side story: Was stiffed on a cuddle by a pro after advance payment.
We'd met before and had a mutually great time, and so I scheduled another appt about a month later. I had also already gotten a room for us to meet, since she didn't host and lived a bit far for a shorter session.
The evening arrived, and I checked in early to have time to get cleaned up and make sure the room was OK. Then I sat and sat, but the time to meet came and went and she never showed; eventually she texted that she was sorry for getting held up and was on her way, then texted again that she was still on her way, then texted that she would need to cancel. She promised to compensate for the room with additional time in the next session, when she would also make good on the advance session payment.
Not long after, she deactivated her account here, and I never heard from her again.
I became convinced it was me, that I was too unattractive, but that's just my go-to reaction about most things after growing up with this face, and shouldn't have had anything to do with it. I've booked with other pros since, and have accepted that it was just because she was a flaky person, or had life issues...you never know. I'm fairly certain she didn't set out to stiff me, but from then on I either paid at the start, or at most a deposit if required in advance.
P.S. Under no circumstances am I putting a credit card on file with anyone. If that notion advances here, well...I'll just be out of luck.
I actually just recently had a client that was worried to pay before the session because he said he worried he'd pay and I'd not show up. I assured him not to worry and explained the rules and how there wasn't an issue with my past clients regarding that. Also, recommended him to read my karma. He decided to go through with the session and when he saw me he also said he thought I was a catfish at first and apologized to me in person. I'm glad he gave it a try and that he plans to have more sessions since it went better than he expected. So anyone with worried clients like this can try my tactic to ease any worried clients over money.
@Amortentia did you offer to video chat with him first? Part of why I always video chat prior to confirming a session is so we know what the other person looks like.
Personally, I haven't been stiffed since coming on CC, however have had seemed to be an attempted stiff recently. The woman was supposed to come to my place and out of sudden had a family emergency. That could happen, it's happened to me. However, I paid her in advance for the session, and transportation to get to my place. After awhile, she kept on telling me different stories. At the end CC. helped me with it and it got resolved.
@xandriarain , I agree, video chats work the best...you can speak to the person first and can decide if it will work.
Karma - Yes, i read a cuddler's karma before meeting them. The more the better of course. It gives you an idea of what to expect. If a cuddler is brand new, just look for the actions that they take before the session.
@xandriarain No, I didn't suggest that because I didn't think he'd be into a virtual session at all. We also already had several pictures of each other. He was also not too thrilled that I did public only. He just wanted me over at his place only so just getting him to agree to a public session was hard already. I did let him know that my repeat clients can host if we both feel comfortable about it after public sessions. But yeah even though he liked the public session and plans to book again he prefers to host and hopes that it'll lead to that and since he needs physical touch throughout the session a virtual wouldn't seem like something I'd suggest in this case. Unless you mean like a free virtual chat only to see each other before meeting and not a session but haven't suggested that yet before since didn't see it necessary yet but might do so in the future if I run into tough moments like this.
@Amortentia Yes I meant the latter It’s confusing now with Covid since everyone’s doing these virtual sessions. I meant just a consultation video chat for about 5 to 15 minutes just to get acquainted and get comfortable. I find it really goes a long way in making both parties more comfortable. On a few occasions I’ve had clients that look different than their photos. Obviously I don’t really care what my clients look like as long as they are respectful but it would have been really offputting to meet them in person if I was expecting to see what I saw in the photo, I wouldn’t even be sure if I was meeting the right person.
@xandriarain ,
You can't expect someone to look exactly like they do in the photo. What I do is look to see if the picture they sent or have online is close enough to believe that they are the same person. In one case, I met a cuddler who dyed their hair before meting. Once we got together it was he same person. Only different colored hair. The reason she did that was to protect herself. I met her at a hotel and we never video chatted. She sat in the corner of the hotel to see if I was okay.
While I would not appreciate being ghosted, I understand how she wanted to hide before meeting someone.
@Lev136 I don’t expect someone to look exactly like their photo. But sometimes photos are old or people have changed a lot since their photos were taken and I find that with the video chat I can also get familiar with your voice and mannerisms and it just makes me feel more comfortable knowing exactly who I’m gonna be meeting.
Also, it seems in general that we are encouraged to put our best photos forward on our profile, so they are more likely to be at our best angles, with our best clothes, in the best light, etc. I wouldn't consider this deceptive, everyone does it. Doing a virtual would give you an idea of what the person looks like generally, as well as verifying that the photos on that person's profile are really them (if they weren't, that would be quite the red flag).
Always take care of payment at the beginning of an appointment. I know it is a little hard to feel like you're not being too transactional but when it comes to being a professional, the cuddlers who requested the service must already expect this at hand but it definitely still comes time for us pros to remember to bring it up. Get it out of the way first so all parties can cuddle comfortably, virtual or in-person sessions alike.
scam anecdotes are common but at that point, I make it a point to apologize and empathize with their loss but remember professional boundaries and expectations mean that it has to be done. I always let people know that it's up to them if they want to pay but if they prefer not to pay upfront I too have the choice to pass.
Moving thread to Professional Cuddling forum.