@Mike403
As I had it explained to me, your buddy's safety person needs your legal name (and other identifying details) so they can report you to the police by name if you, uh, make your buddy disappear. Thieves, creeps, and the like also tend to be less thievy, creepy, etc., when they know they can't just vanish afterwards. Like @CuddleDuncan says, it's an effective safety precaution.
Waivers I don't know about. @simsaddict's explanation does make a certain amount of sense to me, though.
Turn it into the police if the session goes south?
You know, now that you said that, im on board. Could be a good deterrent against sexual assault.
ID's can be easily faked especially if it's just a picture of one. Photoshop is a thing.
That's true, @Mike403. Still, it's one more hurdle easier for a decent person to clear than a criminal.
It can be a false sense of security that'll make them lower their guard. Pepper spray and a smart watch(that'll call the police at the tap of a button)
I have a waiver AND an emergency contact form for clients. I usually only require it if I'm particularly concerned about something. Most of my private clients that come to me from my website or from social media posts will be required to fill out my waiver form. Most of the people I've cuddled from here, I have NOT required sign a form of release. There are definitely a few that I most certainly should have had sign a form. If you're seeing a professional cuddle therapist, I personally believe it should be treated as a professional session with disclosures, releases, and an agreement. I included emergency contacts on my form because I personally wanted to be able to contact someone and hand over my client's care to someone in the event that they had a life-threatening emergency while in a session with me.
As a massage therapist I’ve always had clients fill out an intake form, including a contact person in case of emergency, even before I was required to do that by the state. Twice in 30 years I’ve had to call someone’s emergency contact because they became unwell. It had nothing to do with the massage but they got sick and did not feel safe to drive.
Yes, people can fake IDs, etc., but the vast majority of people are not carrying fake driver’s licenses in their wallet. I would not at all be offended if a pro cuddler stated that for their safety they require proof of identity and my first and last name.
Got those that say it makes cuddling feel like a business or changes the mood, if they are a pro than it is a business. I can’t say that I’d consider a pro my best friend and we’re just hanging out. They are professionals offering a service that I would be paying for. This is how they earn income. I don’t understand why it would be off putting to some.
Photographic evidence would definitely be useful if things turned bad and a pro had to file charges. A lot of businesses we go to ask for things like photo ID and signing forms to protect themselves in the case of possible legal issues.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Asking to see ID is not intended to deter or detect high-quality fake documents. In any event, such fakes are extremely rare. (Young people delude themselves that their fake ID has got them into this event or that bar. 50% of the time the bouncer is perfectly well aware that it's fake ID. 40% they think it probably is. 9% of the time the bouncer is too incompetent to have a meaningful view. And yes, 1% it actually works.)
For example, on the rare occasion when I ask to see ID (usually not in a cuddling context) normally I don't look at the document at all. In fact most of the time I tell the person not to bother showing to me once they start to do so.
The purpose of asking to see ID is to observe the reaction to the request.
I’m a pro who has her own website and is listed on multiple platforms, I’ve had an agreement that details the boundaries of the session since day one, before I got on this site. The terms of service on this platform are more vague than I care for. By signing off on my agreement, it creates more safety and relaxation on the part of my clients and myself. I also ask to see a photo ID at the start of the first session, as a deterrent to assault. And yes, it says a lot about a person if they don’t care to provide a few things to make me feel safe meeting. As the number of pros has grown in my area and we share clients, some of those have come back to me to say how much they appreciate that my form spelled things out so clearly, it helped them to relax. It takes only a few minutes of feeling like business to make the cuddle feel so genuine and personal. It’s worth it for me.
It's not outside the realm of possibility that a person's home or business insurance requires a release to be signed. I wouldn't fault someone for having one. Whether the professional or session has a clinical feel or not will be the case whether they have a form or not.
I mean, I've signed NDA's with a couple high profile clients throughout the years.
@CuddleDuncan - Unless I go to a bar, I don't expect anyone to ask for ID. It'll feel off of a cuddle partner asks for it. It doesn't mean I'm intending to do something shady.
Great thing about NDA’s, waivers and showing ID—you don’t have to sign them or show them because most pros do not ask for them. ID I might do if they let me have a copy of theirs.
Yes! If you come into my rented space I want on record that you are responsible for yourself, you are who you say you are as I'm closing the door and being alone with you (that I just met), and that you agree to the terms. It also makes me in agreement and acknowledging the same as well as keeping confidential and being professional. You enter into agreements like this all the time with professionals - health professionals, any business where you show ID to be treated, this is no different. I'm sorry if that takes the fantasy out of it for some of you but it's a one-time step we take to protect ourselves and it is needed.
@MissAdventurous How famous do I have to be to get you to sign one? I am well known in my circles (of one).
EDIT
Than again does anyone truly know themselves 🤔
I personally don't have an issue with contracts and being ID'd, though I may take issue if they wish to retain a copy of my ENTIRE ID. You (and authorities) don't need someone's address and DOB to identify them. For professionals, having your client sign acknowledgements (not a therapist or medical provider) is a pretty good idea. I also think an emergency contact form as well. A few years ago, I was cuddling with a friend of mine and she had a seizure that caused her to lose 4 months of her memory. Luckily, I've known her for years, and was able to calm her from panic enough to get her help. I couldn't even imagine if someone came to after cuddling with a complete stranger. 😮
@tacpmurg lol famous enough to suggest one to begin with I suppose. 🤣🤣
@MissAdventurous
Signed photo just for you
That will be $50
Wonder how many pro cuddlers would be willing to give their clients their real names and show their ID 🤔
@tacpmurg hopefully if/when we meet up in September we won't need too much paperwork 🤣
@SammyG_ not only do I share my full name, but it's publicly attached to my business. Anyone who knows my business name knows my personal name. 🤷♀️
I wouldn't sign anything at all, or show my ID. It would be different if they had a business name, LLC, or something like that. But I'm pretty dern sure that's not a thing at all on here.
As an independent contractor, a lot of professional cuddlers have an LLC. That’s what I’ve heard, not seen their I9s firsthand 😂
@mickey46834 Most cuddlers with actual business names aren't on CC, but there are some of us for sure. I don't have an LLC though. Sole proprietorship is sufficient for tax purposes, especially when your business is small and you don't have large assets to protect. I have a business name, website, Facebook page, square account, etc. I even have business cards and tshirts with my logos on them. I got the works. But you are right, most pros on here are just themselves, not really a legitimate business, many don't even tell you their real names. All are totally fine choices, but I agree that it's a bit hypocritical to hide your identity, but demand others to share their real ones... 😇🤷♀️
I don't recall having a pro on CC ask me to sign a waiver, but I learned how to write a waiver when I completed the Cuddlist training and certification, and I would be happy to sign a waiver if someone asked me to. As a pro, I have had clients sign waivers/agreements. As others here have said, the terms and conditions we all sign when we join this website, and the client service agreement clients sign for professional cuddling do not cover everything; besides, I have a right to set my own policies. The client service agreement states the following:
Payment The Cuddler will ask for payment from the Client for the Full Session Price as previously agreed between the Cuddler and Client on the website. Payment for each session is due before the session or at the very start of one. The Cuddler has the right to include a deposit requirement as part of their service. The terms of such an arrangement falls outside of our purview. Cancellation Policy If you cancel within 12 hours of the appointment we ask that you pay half of the session price. This is to compensate the Cuddler for lost business as it's unlikely they would be able to find another client for that scheduled period at such short notice. In the case of a Cuddler cancelling within 12 hours, they are expected to offer you compensation in the form of a discount for your next session with them. If you cancel within 24 hours and your session includes a rental space arrangement prepaid for by the Cuddler, we ask you pay the full price of that rental cost. This is to compensate the Cuddler for what would otherwise be a tangible financial loss. In the reverse scenario we also ask the Cuddler compensate you in the same way.
The Cuddler will ask for payment from the Client for the Full Session Price as previously agreed between the Cuddler and Client on the website. Payment for each session is due before the session or at the very start of one. The Cuddler has the right to include a deposit requirement as part of their service. The terms of such an arrangement falls outside of our purview.
If you cancel within 12 hours of the appointment we ask that you pay half of the session price. This is to compensate the Cuddler for lost business as it's unlikely they would be able to find another client for that scheduled period at such short notice. In the case of a Cuddler cancelling within 12 hours, they are expected to offer you compensation in the form of a discount for your next session with them. If you cancel within 24 hours and your session includes a rental space arrangement prepaid for by the Cuddler, we ask you pay the full price of that rental cost. This is to compensate the Cuddler for what would otherwise be a tangible financial loss. In the reverse scenario we also ask the Cuddler compensate you in the same way.
As a Pro, I have a right to set my own terms. I'm free to require payment in full at the time of booking if I want to and if my client is willing to pay it. I also have a right to require payment in full if a client cancels less than 12 hours before the session. CC can say "we ask [emphasis mine] that you pay half the session price," but a Pro has the discretion to require more -- or less -- than that. Likewise, if I cancel within 12 hours, it is within my discretion to provide a completely free session instead of a discount on the next session. CC can state these requests and expectations, but Pros and clients are ultimately responsible for coming to their own accords, thus the rationale for a Pro to have clients sign their own waivers/agreements.
There are a couple of things I have included in a waiver/agreement that CC doesn't mention:
CC's client service agreement says nothing about confidentiality. One thing I put in my agreement is that I will not say hello to a client if I see them in public unless they say hello to me first. I will also not reveal that they were my client, though they are welcome to reveal that I was their professional cuddler if they so choose.
CC says nothing about establishing a professional relationship that is different from a personal relationship. I state in my waiver that I do not friend clients on CC or social media. I also state that I will not parlay our professional relationship into a friendship unless we both wish to transform the relationship, in which case we will take a three-month break from seeing each other to give each other enough time to fully consider the change and not rush into it.
What some people may not believe is that a Pro can have a clients sign a waiver/agreement and still be a warm, comforting cuddler. I am both analytical and intuitive. I can be a stickler for detail and be a snuggly cuddler. The two facets can coexist; what's more, establishing a container of trust can help make the cuddle safer and more enjoyable.
I don't have a negative connotation of the word clinical. The original meaning of the word refers to a doctor's visit to a patient in their sickbed; it is related to a doctor's "bedside manner," which one might hope is soothing and attentive. The connotation of "coldly dispassionate" came later (https://www.etymonline.com/word/clinical). If you are a client and you hire a pro, I believe you are in need of care, and you are putting yourself in the pro's care. You may disagree and say you just want to cuddle and your way of doing that is to hire a pro; you may say that you are not in need of care and would rather take care of the cuddler. If that's what works for you and the pro, more power to you! Personally, I don't experience it that way. When I hire a pro, I do so because I want a "clinical" experience in the most therapeutic sense of the word— a warm and healing experience, not a cold and calculating experience. The cold and calculating part -- signing forms and making payments -- exists apart from yet alongside of the warm experience of a cuddle. If I hire a pro, I want to be a patient, and I want the pro to be my caregiver; conversely, as a Pro, I am happy if a client acknowledges their need for care, and I am happy to give it to them. I would even argue that if you enter into a therapeutic relationship without acknowledging your need for help you may not be being honest with yourself and the pro, and that you will benefit more if you admit that you have a need that you are paying the caregiver to fulfill. This is the way I have approached every professional and clinical relationship I have entered as a patient or client, be it for massage therapy, psychotherapy, coaching or tutoring, et cetera. There is nothing wrong with asking for help; on the contrary, it is admirable, and it is the way to get better. That's my take on it, anyway. That's not to say I wouldn't cuddle a client who didn't see it that way; it's just to say that my ideal client sees client-pro cuddling as a therapeutic relationship.
@nurturingman Very informative and well-put.
@FunCartel -I can vouch for this member. I've met with them several times and they're legit!
Signing a waiver- I've actually met with a cuddler who damaged my bed due to their weight, so I can see it in THAT instance, but otherwise, I can't imagine legitimately needing a waiver. Asking to see photo ID upon initial meeting in a public place I think is totally fine, but there's no need to keep a copy. I'm an extremely anxious person and I'm not all that trusting either. I agree that it's putting a lot of faith and trust in a stranger, but if you can't do that, then I'd honestly suggest deleting your account. A piece of paper means nothing in the grand scheme of anything! A person can state their agreement to something all day long, but that doesn't mean they're going to stick to it. Trust your instincts!!
@great_pillow08 Thank you so much!