Reporting abuse

Morpheus

Is there someone that you're trying to get blacklisted or is this a hypothetical scenario?

hoarc

I think it is always wise to meet people in a public place. There are many enjoyable public places especially nice that it is warm outside! 

snuggle554321

There's no hypothetical situation at all! It's been stated and restated that this is a real problem which is standard for this field.  It's been flat out stated that many people do not want to report others who have flat out violated the cc rules because they don't want to cause problems that could very well lead to them being attacked either on this site or possibly even physically.  It was even brought up on a thread that green earth started that one pro quit being a pro because of someone who violated the rules so badly! She didn't want  to report him because she didn't want to risk the possible repercussions by doing so.  After that was mentioned I finally decided to report this one guy that I had had a session with that was really bad! I also left him bad karma in order to  hopefully help other people make an informed decision before they decide to have a session with him. I had a session with him because he had good karma and I thought he was safe! I was so wrong!  Luckily he was my worst case scenario. Any other clients that I have seen since him were either much more manageable or extremely respectful!  I've had a few clients that were brand-new that needed some gentle redirecting but were very apologetic and sincere because of it! Since then I have had absolutely no problems with them!  The biggest problem that I have is when people don't report the individuals on this site that should absolutely be reported because of whatever reasons. This just makes it that much easier for them to  continue their bad behavior with someone else. By the way, I also have talk to people on here who had some bad experiences with some pros. I told them that they should either report them or  give them bad karma depending on the situations. When a person is showing a lack of respect towards another person, that individual should be held accountable for their actions! 

Morpheus

Who is the person that your trying to get blacklisted and why specifically?

snuggle554321

That information shouldn't be broadcast.  I posted what I did so that anyone who might be considering cuddling with him would know that they could message me to ask more questions. Anybody who had a bad experience with a previous client can also look back and see if I left negative karma.  So unless you were thinking about cuddling with him or have previously cuddled with him, you really don't need to know the information.  

Morpheus

Sad part is if you leave negative karma, they can always delete their profile and create a new one.  The same thing goes for blocking people, you can block someone but they can still see your profile.

 This is the reason I ask for some kind of identifying information (ability to look at their Facebook or talk on FaceTime or meeting in a public place first) and I am unwilling to meet with someone to cuddle without having an in-person meeting first. I'm wary of anyone who won't agree to that. 

 For professional cuddlers, it is not a bad idea to ask for payment in advance through PayPal or other credit card site.  Not only is it suggested in our terms of agreement as a professional, but someone who is dishonest or looking to scam isn't going to pay upfront.

 it's just one more layer in the many layers of things we can do to stay safe and be respected as legitimate business women. 

 Be safe out there ladies, and hugs 

Morpheus

My PayPal was hacked over the weekend, stole over $300 but PayPal refunded it the next day. I was so mad.

I don't do PayPal 

I would be leery of paying upfront for something. I don't know the pro as much as they don't know me. I do agree that meeting in public should be common sense but not for everyone I guess

I_am_Polylover

I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one leery of PayPal.  Despite my misgivings about it, I opened an account anyway, in order to collect $ for my cuddle party, if I can ever get enough people signed up.
♥Jim

In my birth/midwifery business I'm paid in full upfront before the 37th week (typical 38-42 wks in a normal pregnancy) or I don't go on call. That is standard and written into every Contract of every midwife and birth worker I know. And I know dozens! And people respect it and pay in advance without question. They want someone to show up when they call. 

A lot of professional business/doctors offices etc will charge if an appointment is canceled with less than 24 hours notice in advance. It's not uncommon in business. I'm a business woman, even though this cuddle business (and my birth business) are extremely personal in nature, and rely heavily on investing in and nurturing my clients, I still have bills to pay and I'm self employed. My hours are just as valuable as anyone else's. My time I reserve off my calander can't always be scheduled for other work if I have last minute cancellations or people who don't take cuddlers seriously or think it's some gateway to prostitution. People here take cuddling seriously enough to spend hours and hours on these forums. Not everyone takes it that seriously. Please, try to remember that. A LOT of men use this kind of site like Tinder. TRUST ME, it's more often than not!  I've wasted hours of time to have people back out when they finally realize this is zero sexual contact. Even though it's all over my profile, In the sites terms of service AND I say it in every chat, message and conversation. Being paid in advance is simply one step in the many layers in safety so we are taken seriously. Please respect that is a big deal *Especially* for the women here. The men here are far more invested in cuddling than most people. I'm surprised sometimes how easy you ALL forget that key point. 

And so far, every client I've met and cuddled with has agreed and had no issue. One client actually suggested it and pays in advance (and books 3 hours every time). Only ONE person has had any issue since I implemented this and with further internet searching he wasn't who he claimed to be. Obviously I didn't agree to meet him and it was the right choice. Can you say sex offender registry!!?!??!  Do you know how easy it is to reverse look up a phone number, get a real name and do a search to make sure a person is who they claim?  

Its a safety mechinism for me. It's also to schedule my time so it's not wasted by people canceling at the last minute when they finally accept there are no "extras". I'm unwilling to put myself in danger, too many men here completely ignore how dangerous this can be for women if we aren't very careful. Just because the handful of men here reading this are not dangerous, you may be surprised at how many really awkward to actually dangerous situations that arise. And my safety will always come first before some stranger's oxytocin rush. Or other "rush" which wouldn't be so innocent. 

Morpheus

I've seen 19 pro cuddlers, I've never paid upfront and I've never met in public beforehand and I've never once had a problem.

 It's nice to know that's been your experience, but that doesn't change or discount or make my experience different.  Or the handful of other professional cuddlers that I have spoken with who have had very similar experiences to mine. So congratulations, you are a man. You don't live in the same reality as a woman when it comes to your physical safety.  

Fire and blue, I understand what you are saying but with the flakeyness if most pros coming and going etc, I would never pay upfront, I would always want to meet in public first and never meet at my house all for my safety. Safety should be Paramount for us all.

Define "upfront ". 
I would say upfront means prior to , the session , could be the day before , or a number of hours before the session commences , 
that I do not do , and won't do, nor any cuddler pro I've encountered does that except one.  She indicated her preference to that , but when I declined she Booked a session anyway , and collected in person, without ever meeting prior .
Yes, there were an assortment of message exchanges , or a phone call or two .

BEsides, there's no reason for a prepayment for , say , equipment ?, or something very specific to the client , that the cuddler practitioner has to purchase.

Now if we are talking "upfront" meaning , payment is due immediately before the session , payment in person ,(cash) then that is acceptable .

Morpheus

Men face different types of dangers and they shouldn't be downplayed just because we are men.

 Just like you downplayed my concerns? I'm not posting any more in this conversation. I've said everything I need to say.  

MrSoloDolo, you are correct. Men do face danger in this as well. I think that gets lost.  I am pretty clear about my safety.  And if I don't meet with someone because of it, I am okay with that. But SAFETY OF EVERYONE should be understood. I am a man, but do you think I trust that if I were to go to a pros home or non pro for that matter, and there isn't someone there to rob me.  Or if I pay upfront and the person never responds again, not going to happen because paying upfront would never be an option for me. 

Morpheus

All I did was make a statement about my personal experience. How does that downplay your concerns? My comment had nothing to do with you, it was simply a statement about my own personal experience. I am not here to start trouble.

Morpheus

There's a pro in So Cal that is now on her third profile FYI She cancelled with me in the past at the last minute and had negative karma on her previous profile. Seems fishy to me, clients please beware. I've informed @Mark.

I_am_Polylover

@MrSoloDolo  I can certainly see how @FireAndBlue could take your experience in the way that you posted it as downplaying her concerns, whereas I don't see how you could take anything she said as downplaying your concerns.  I guess different people just see different things in different ways.  Such is life.
♥Jim

Morpheus

What would Rodney King say?

And I never said that she downplayed my concerns. Once again, I was making a simple statement that was taken as me directing it and her. I would really appreciate it if you would all stop targeting me when I've done nothing wrong. Please stop taking my words and twisting them into what you want them to be. I will also say again that I am not here to cause problems.

I_am_Polylover

It did seem to me that you were directing it at her.  I don't think I have ever targeted you.  When something you say is taken in a certain way by more than one person, maybe you should stop and think about the possibility of wording things a bit differently, in order to stop making yourself feel targeted.
♥Jim

Brandi

everyone take a gander and report @bearhead please .-. whole new level of disrespect ...

Morpheus

Ban that fool 

funandadventure

Done

snuggle554321

@fireandblue  I completely agree with everything that you said! I'm thinking  of requesting $40 to reserve a session time. I have had so many clients flake on me it's crazy! I know that anytime I travel anywhere  I will require $40 in advance as non-refundable in case they flake on me.  When I went to San Francisco and was in LA I ended up losing money because so many clients canceled. The one day that I was injured and out of commission while I was in LA I had to cancel on a couple of clients. If they would've paid their $40 in advance I would have refunded them the $40. @Poly Thank you for your comments! I was thinking the same thing. 

Morpheus

@snuggle554321 that really sucks that you lost money when you travelled. I can definitely see that as a circumstance where you should expect a deposit.

@snuggle554321 in the past up north, I was working alot and scheduled a few sessions a various times, where I had to actually take off work to be able to meet the pro.  And then only to have to pro not do the session.  They just flaked out and didn't even tell me that they had to cancel. just vanished. So if a pro wants a deposit, I can understand it. However, I have to play it safe for myself and will never give a deposit.