Reporting abuse

4cuddles

@snuggle554321. Thanks for the virtual hug &right back at you:). (I'm guessing one can't just send a private message to a pro- i had tried to message u privately previously ..).

Based on the messages on this thread, I wonder if people hold a perception on 'reporting' based on whether they are exposed to the behaviours that led to reporting on here & in their everyday life etc.

@Greenearth. I was part of the 'report and move on & b4 that, the 'delete and move on' parade. It's exhausting.

What I'm hearing from ur message is "yes it sucks but I don't want to read anymore about it". If that's the case and I do find myself needing a further post on the issue,(I hope I don't have to...) I'll issue a warning in advance (if I'm mindful of people with that attitudes in that moment). That way u can avoid reading.

Appreciatr ur suggestion, I don't use instagram however.

Your views on inappropriate behaviour would be further reinforced by repeatedly calling out those behaviours when they r reported. It reinforces the image of CC and was supportive when I felt frustrated about being hassled.

It may also negate your concern about how unreadable the site would if everyone were to complain on people breaking the rules. I.E also convey the support and comfort on offer on this site that can often get lost in threads.

"Yea but it's annoying when the only new threads are people whining about guys messaging them for sex. Have you just joined the internet or something ? That's something that happens every day on every social media platform. "

This. Since when is it alright to sexually exploit women? I'm sorry you don't want to read through tons of posts about the same thing, but if you're seeing tons of posts aboit it maybe it's a real problem. I personally don't mind the threads, It's almost comforting knowing that you're not the only one. 

 Honestly it's been a disappointment sifting through the messages just to find out who's going to be a real client VS. who's just in it for sexual favors. A lot of potential clients will cancel after finding out yes, you'll be wearing clothes the whole time and no, you won't kiss or go any further.

I still think several people are still not quite understanding the stance that I have along with quite a few of the other clients. We don't think it's okay to sexually exploit females and don't support the guys that do this. We are simply asking that the guys who do this, be reported to the admins rather than making another thread on the boards about it. We are concerned that these threads will lead to an over generalization that all men on the site are "perves" and seeking extras when this is not the case. 

Brandi

Yes but, thats the thing! you can report them, which of course we will. but we can ALSO make it a known issue, and not hide it. ...hopefully anyone with that perverted mindset would read this,  get that hint that this isn't the place for them, and possibly they will go elsewhere because everyone is clearly against it. We are not trying to generalize, but the fact of the matter is, its a common problem for several people, and Sweeping it under a carpet and letting everyone just figure it out as it comes along because its annoying to read makes pros feel as if their voices are not being heard...Comfort is everything..You guys downplay it and make it sound like its one every so often but a pro that I referred here, actually deleted her profile because of how overwhelming it was and I get it, sometimes it can be so very frustrating..Im not saying I get attacked daily with those messages, but it is common enough to be a forum for sure..... That is what will draw people away,  not acknowledging a problem.

 Theres nothing wrong with making it known that there is some negatives on this site... thats how improvements happen... if that draws people away, let it. But anyone with common sense would see this, and hopefully agree. What cuddlebunny said is super true..it can be comforting to know its not only you and can make it easier to move on.

Not saying Every guy that does something should be noted and dissed on a thread, but 2 of the last threads were closed when it was a fair post to bring up. and again, if several people are talking about it *One posted by a female, one by a male. Its a PROBLEM. and a problem that needs to be acknowledged, not shrugged off.
Peace out~

I have an idea/ compromise. What if we all agreed and set a standard so that the abuse thread is stickied and all future complaints regarding abuse be made in that thread? This way, complaints will be brought forward but there won't be several threads saying the same thing. I think that's a very fair and reasonable idea. Thoughts everyone?

Brandi

good call ^.^

4cuddles

Think it's a good idea. I had also mentioned in my initial response to docgatorab's point about different threads all discussing inappropriate behaviours.

The dismissive attitude that is more likely to protray some members negatively, than the frequency of complaints about it. I can't say that enough.

Anyway to move forward, members are already using the same the thread to discuss it. Hopefully the need to add to such threads will reduce.

That's a good idea, keeping it down to one thread. As Annie and Brandi have both stated, hopefully bringing this up on a single thread will detour people from sending crude messages in the future.

I_am_Polylover

I usually don't think much of most of @Brandi's posts, but this one I am behind her 100%. Yes, first and foremost the offenders should be reported, but they should also be publicly castigated. Just because their behavior is common on the Internet in general, doesn't make it right. If it is ever to be changed, people people somewhere need to start speaking out against it. Why not start here. It would also be good if there were some mainstream articles written about it. Any writers here?

Mailleweaver

It would also be helpful to list the actual usernames of the specific people causing trouble so that others can chime in if they've also had trouble with that person, future users (both troublemakers and victims) can see that all those troublemakers' accounts get deleted, and everyone else is free and clear of generalizations.

snuggle554321

@annie85 @cuddlebunny88 @brandi I loved all of your comments!  All of you said exactly what I have been thinking and feeling. I just hadn't put it into words yet!  It's so nice to know that I'm not alone!  @annie85  I just sent you a private message so you should be able to simply reply to that and  carry-on a conversation with me.  HUGE HUGS TO ALL OF YOU!!!! ;D

funandadventure

OK Doc @docgatorb you have my attention, what is a reptile in computer language.
Friend John.

docgatorb

@funandadventure I don't know what a reptile is, in computer language. Is one chasing you? Maybe they don't bother me because they think that I'm a gator and think that I'm  onto them. Or maybe they leave the old ones alone, (don't taste good enough) Do you know how to make those links like in the front of this message in one quick computer stroke?

I would like to ask everyone to report all incidents of abuse on the site directly to the admins and please keep all comments about abuse in this thread and not create new threads regarding the same topic. This thread is stickied so it stays at the top and will be a one stop shop for anyone having issues with and or questions regarding abuse. I would also like to ask that we stay away from terms that may lead to generalizations such as referring to clients as perverts or pro cuddlers as prostitutes. I think this is in the best interest of the site as well as cuddling as a whole. We've made great strides dealing with our differences and need to continue that trend.

funandadventure

Dear Doc. I have no idea on how to make the link to start at the front of the message in one stroke. I do it long hand.
Nice to hear from you and keeping things light hearted, I like that.
friend John.

greenearth2

It is apparent to me that many people don't have good reading comprehension skills. If I say that posting a new thread every time a jerk says something mean to you is too much you take that as me saying we should hide the problem.
I give up.
Post all day if it makes you feel better.

Hmm...i felt like joining in. If you are male you may get a little bit of a hassle from females. It can be nerve racking being a female. Being a cute, tiny, little pixie with a firey side if men think they can take advantage of my being a female. Its unnerving to be approached or rushed into cuddling. Do you listen to the news? Do you go online yourselves? Do you know how many missing women are still missing?
We have every right to complain about how we feel or how we are approached. You can flirt with the right ones and you will find a lot are very over protective of themselves. Maybe because fear is what we are taught. Coming to a cuddle site with no experience...i am finding i am gravitating towards the experienced ones. The people whom have been to group cuddle sessions, someone confident in what they have learned and all the rules they have followed. It eases my mind a little because I can be niave and i also know that i don't trust anyone. But I'm trying something new because i have to believe that love will conqur whatever terrible spawns are out there. Reporting abuse is an individual right. We all know what we can put up with and what we don't like. Thank you for your time and the knowledge of how to block and report any abuse. Also how not to go about it in a forum ;-).

snuggle554321

@sarah35 *standing ovation* YEAH!!!!!!! HUGE HUG!!!! 

Too bad @sarah35 isn't here to see that yeah and receive that virtual HUGE HUG because her account has been deleted YAY

snuggle554321

 That's OK! Everybody else can read it! HUGE HUG!!!! 

I just get a little leery about people like that who are here and gone, makes me feel like they are fakes just stirring things up.

4cuddles

I see what u mean about the here and gone. I hate to go on but some of the issues on this thread contribute to some disappearing acts. I have also had a male tell me how unwanted attention and messages discouraged him to continue using the site.
It at times read like a gender divide or some readers are more dismissive of this female issue.

@Snuggle554321 LOL.

snuggle554321

@Annie85 How have I been dismissive of the female issue? 

snuggle554321

@Annie85  I have responded to every private message you've ever sent me!  I just sent you another private message. 

4cuddles

Snnugle554321.

You've misunderstood my message. "Some readers" was not aimed at you. I was laughing at your previous response.

4cuddles

Ought to have highlighted 'female issue' in my previous thread. Hope that clarifies my previous message.

snuggle554321

LOL OK.  I was REALLY confused there for a second! LOL  Thanks! 

4cuddles

Glad it's clarified! Snuggle554321.

My point was though the impact of unwanted attention, inappropriate messages can be easily regarded as a 'female issue', men are also affected. This may be 1 of the reasons why some users quickly leave.

snuggle554321

 I can definitely see how that would be the case.

snuggle554321

Hey sweeties! I recently found out, through a friend, that if someone has good karma on here that it is very difficult to have them blacklisted unless a lot of other people have reported the same person! (It becomes a he said she said situation.) If you had a bad experience with someone on here, please LOOK BACK and see if that person has good karma. If they do, PLEASE make sure to let Mark know that you not only had a bad experience, but also let him know the details.  Mark has to be able to build a case against that person in order to  get that individual removed. (By doing this it helps protect people from false claims.) If enough people complain and have similar complaints, it builds a strong case. I COMPLETELY understand not  wanting to cause problems for others or yourself, but we need to make sure to watch out for each other, ESPECIALLY if that person has good karma!  Please be diligent in your reporting ESPECIALLY if you haven't done so in the past! Thank you sweeties! Happy cuddling! HUGE HUG!!!!