Pros in a relationship

Brandi

. I have had a male message me a while back about my services, and then later read on my profile that I was in a relationship and then declined. Which was totally fine! I really think comfort matters.

 other people have used my services, and the topic of my significant other hasn't even come up, except one or two times, and it was rolled off easy, nothing was weird, and we continues to cuddle normally.

Now I'm messaging someone else, who has a personal preference that he would not want to cuddle someone who is attached as it would make him uncomfortable.

I personally put it on my profile to be honest with everyone involved, most don't even take notice, or do most just not care?
If you do care, why is that? what is it that makes you feel uncomfortable?

 I think love can be spread by platonic cuddling, and a pro can still be in a happily commited relationship. But on the flip side, If it was just cuddling on the couch not a profession, and was just using the pro tag as a way to find a cute client to cuddle with, no healing intended, no career choice in mind, simply cheating on the brain, wouldn't be okay. 
We have talked about married men as clients, but what about married or attached pros? does it matter?  

Pros are supposed to sell like a fantasy to lonely men. 

Brandi

I disagree. I have never considered myself a "Fantasy"
I consider myself a healer. a therapist, a friend, and an ear to listen 

Even if you're in a relationship you shouldn't put it on here. Men want to cuddle a woman that is single because they want to feel like you're theirs. Even if it's professional cuddling. My opinion. 

Brandi

Again, I disagree. You can choose to specifically look for single women, but I'm not going to blatantly lie about my life lol Especially not for the comfort of others, that would make me a huge liar.. I love who I am, what I do, and I think that would be quite disrespectful to my significant other to just pretend he doesn't exist while I cuddle with someone else for a few hours lol. All of my attention of course is always focused on my client, and making them feel happy in the moment and Id never rub my significant other in their face or nonstop talk about how great he is. but to ignore his existence because guys want to "own me" isn't exactly my forte lol

I respect that. Totally agree that you should run your profile as you wish. Just pointing out that you missed out on a customer by putting that you're in a relationship as stated on your post. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable cuddling a girl in a relationship. Could be many reasons. Even fear that her significant other is jealous and will want to hurt me. 

I don't care if the Pro is in a relationship as long as the guy isn't around during the session or he isn't talked about. I did have a pro once talk about her boyfriend during the session and that was awkward

Brandi

Yeah I did miss out on a customer, but thats okay.He probably found someone that suited him better and probably had a comfortable session

and I have plenty of other beautiful people that come to see me. I think everything happens for a reason. A real life plan already sketched out for all of us. I was just curious as to why it may make others feel uncomfortable so I can understand.:)
I wouldnt let fear hold you back, because you see strangers everyday that can just as easily hurt you or attack you... or a neighbor, or a friend that is extremely close to you.

I think it'd be Far more reasonable to fear being in a car accident on the way over to see me before being attacked by my partner.. By all of the karma left on my page and by me being open and honest on the profile, I think its safe to assume my significant other doesn't barge in and hurt any of my clients lol. Why would he do that? Its safe to say its obviously I wouldn't be with someone that jeopardizes my passion lol.
and a Matter of fact, he has a cuddle session next week, and may even make a profile on here *those specifics to make someone more comfortable fits my case only of course, but I think you can kinda get a vibe off of the pros account if she seems sketchy lol

I had a pro tell me she was married and schedules when her husband isnt home.

I didn't book because he will probably come home one day and find me and assume something else happened and put a bullet in my head.

Didn't book for outcall to avoid issues since he doesn't know.

Brandi

See thats exactly why Im honest and open with everyone. Nothing weird would ever happen during a session with me because theres no secrets. lol.

Mailleweaver

@Alternis Scheduling when he isn't home doesn't mean she's hiding it from him unless she outright says it's to hide it from him. It just means she makes an attempt to curb the awkwardness for everyone that could come from having her husband around during a session.

I imagine that most people's discomfort with cuddling someone who's in a relationship comes from our culture's sexualization of touch. Even getting past that consciously to allow for cuddles outside of a relationship can still leave traces in the deeper psyche that are much more difficult to overcome. I have seen an up-close example of this in my own life with someone I know very well. The best we can do is make allowances for those ingrained responses that can't be broken and also attempt to avoid passing on this unfortunate cultural conditioning to the next generation.

docgatorb

I saw a beautiful musician the other night and found out that she was married! How am a supposed to have fantasies of her, if she's married? She shouldn't be out there playing those beautifully inciting melodies.

Brandi

Love your response! thanks a bunch @Mailleweaver! Always love your contributions

Brandi

Good point she should quit forsure @docgatorb ;P

I'm married and my Wife and I consider ourselves, ethically non monogamous. We aren't swingers and we aren't poly but we are open. Most pros don't bring up my wife which is fine but they can ask if they want. I've only had one pro that said she wouldn't cuddle married men but she finally gave in. I don't think anyone should put judgment on the other regarding their relationship status. Like @Brandi, I say the truth in my profile although it pretty much squashes any hope I have of seeing a non pro. I have no desire to have the negative energy that dishonesty brings. I tell my Wife when I'm having a cuddle session, she knows that I am responsible.

Regarding what @cuddlebandit said about pros selling a fantasy to lonely men. I am a huge proponent of professional cuddling and I am not one bit lonely. I don't see it as a fantasy either. I just love to cuddle.

Brandi

Thanks for your perspective @morpheous. All great points

I agree with morpheus. It is not about that being lonely. Cuddling is different than hanging out with friends at a restaurant or movies etc. I like the idea of cuddling because it is comfortable and one cannot reallt cuddle by oneself and a lot of people don't want to cuddle friends. And since I only seek friends, I been single my entire life so cuddling is no fantasy either. It is just an activity that I enjoy just like other activities I enjoy like eating sushi or playing bass guitar.

greenearth2

I think there's no reason to include that you're in a relationship.    Cuddling services are never supposed to become a relationship so whether you're in one or not shouldn't affect anything.   
I have no problem booking a pro who is in a relationship.  

snuggle554321

I love all of these comments! @Brandi  I think you stating that you're in a relationship is perfect! You're not hiding anything so you won't be risking someone feeling tricked or conned.  You also won't take the risk of your SO (significant other) feeling like you are hiding something from him  or hiding him from other people because you're doing something wrong.  By not keeping people informed you are taking away their choice. By being open and honest you were showing that you have nothing to hide. It also gives people the opportunity to ask you questions instead of possibly finding out later on after the session and then feeling like they did something dirty.  I think staying open and honest with nothing to hide is always the best option.  You are fantastic and wonderful and amazing Brandi.  Just keep doing what you've been doing because you've got it down girl! LOL HUGE HUG!!!

snuggle554321

I love all of these comments! @Brandi  I think you stating that you're in a relationship is perfect! You're not hiding anything so you won't be risking someone feeling tricked or conned.  You also won't take the risk of your SO (significant other) feeling like you are hiding something from him  or hiding him from other people because you're doing something wrong.  By not keeping people informed you are taking away their choice. By being open and honest you were showing that you have nothing to hide. It also gives people the opportunity to ask you questions instead of possibly finding out later on after the session and then feeling like they did something dirty.  I think staying open and honest with nothing to hide is always the best option.  You are fantastic and wonderful and amazing Brandi.  Just keep doing what you've been doing because you've got it down girl! LOL HUGE HUG!!!

Snuggle544321 i just said on another thread communication is key, well I think that is what you are saying here too. I think whether one cuddles with a pro ir not there should be a level of trust by communication. If i feel i can't trust someone I wouldn't want to cuddle them.

snuggle554321

@Navyvet76  EXACTLY! We're saying the same thing. I agree with you! HUGE HUG!!!! 

Brandi

Thanks for the support Snuggle you're such a sweetheart<3 

greenearth2

It just seems like relationship status isn't a clients business. It's not about hiding someone. It's just maintaining space.
Like I don't even ask for age or if you have kids or what your parents names are etc. But if you feel like volunteering the info it's fine.
Just don't see it as important.
Now ofcourse if you're sneaking and hosting and some crazy spouse is going to show up and kill everyone you really should let people know that lol.

I think that relationship status should be neither pro nor clients concern. This is a business transaction so why should relationship status matter on either side?

docgatorb

I think for newbies, having the question asked tends to draw attention to it, as if it was something that experienced people pay attention to. So let's get rid of the profile question.

Good call Doc

Brandi

I like it on there so that i dont feel as though im hiding from either parties. Its not just about the client in this case for me. Sorry. Open and honesty for me and every one of my clients and my partner..:)

greenearth2

See Brandi your responses always tend to make the person who disagrees look bad.. When you say open and honest. You're saying I'm being dishonest ?
Simply saying it's none of our business doesn't mean someone is saying be dishonest. So why use words like honesty when this is a privacy issue. Not an honesty one.
Next you will say real names should be used by everyone. Why not ? That's open and honest right ?
But maybe privacy is more important. Real names aren't necessary either.

docgatorb

:<-- confused

I remember when I first started using snugglebuddies, it would bother me if I found out that my female pro was using an alias and not her real name. I felt lied to and for an intimate act like cuddling, I feel honesty is very important so I can appreciate Brandis stance. Regarding names btw it appears to me that the majority of pros on CC use their actual real name. Back to relationship status, I have no issues with openness but I also don't think that anyone should cuddle or not cuddle based on relationship status. Where is the resolution here?