"How do I improve my profile?" is a question that comes up often and has been answered many times. I've written about it in several big posts but they are scattered around and none are comprehensive. This is a summary of everything I've learned, both from my own experience and that of others. There are layers upon layers here so I don't even know who to thank, but this post wouldn't be half as good were it not for the contributions of all those people. Thank you, everybody.
Further comments and suggestions are, as always, very welcome.
This post is quite general and is potentially useful for anyone - enthusiast, client, professional, woman, nonbinary, man, old, young. There is slightly more specific advice in the links in the next post.
Username
You can't gain a cuddlebuddy with a good username but you can put somebody off with a bad one. Whatever you do, don't use anything that could be construed in a non-platonic manner. For example, if some random username-generator spits out 'ABC69', don't use the 69. You can change your username once a year.
Tagline
Not important on this site because most people opt for one of the standard ones. Again, you can't do yourself any real favours here, but you can do yourself a disservice.
Photos
The first thing everybody sees is your profile photo, so make sure it’s a good one. Nice clear headshot, preferably as natural as possible. Everybody you know has a camera with them all the time so there is no excuse for a crappy main photo. Of course it helps if you are physically attractive, but actually it’s not that important. Check the photo on both your phone and a computer - in some formats the bottom quarter of the picture gets cut off. We're hoping to establish and intimate connection with you so anything that creates a barrier - filters, artificial poses, etc. - is potentially unhelpful.
If you'd rather not post photos of yourself don't feel you have to, because you don't. However, please do post a picture of something that you like or is meaningful to you. The blank blue default isn't a good look. (When writing to somebody for the first time, it's very common to attach a photo if your profile doesn't have any.)
The other photos should show something of you. An amazing set consists of five to seven photos altogether (and never more than ten), mostly showing your face clearly and including all of the following. One photo may cover more than one point:
• Selfie
• Not a selfie
• Full length body shot
• Smiling
• Looking windswept & interesting; or haughty & distant
• Inside and formal-ish
• Outside and relaxed, probably doing some kind of activity
• Caring for another person (who is clearly not a partner) or animal (e.g. petting a dog)
• If you are hosting, your cuddling space
Do make the most of yourself: if you dress smart, be really smart. If you are grungy, be a great grunge. Demonstrate a consistent style. For example, if you are a big guy and think of yourself as a big cuddly teddy bear, use shots from below and wear soft, cuddly clothes. Keep them as cuddling-relevant as possible but don't be pedantic about it. The more pedantically platonic your photos are, the more likely you are to find success here.
Change your main photo from time to time. Experiment with different ones and see which work best.
Facts
The Facts section of the profile is not a big deal. Just answer most of the questions and be totally honest and open. There is no need to use every field and don't use ones that convey no useful information about you. For example, there is no point in putting Religion: other.
If you want to change your age in order to appear in a certain group's search results, that does seem to be socially acceptable providing you are completely open about it in your profile text.
Karma and Friends
Beyond the scope of this post but having them does help.
Profile text
This is a social networking site so we'd like to know a little about you. Write something - anything - in your profile, it doesn't really matter what. Aim for three-five short/medium paragraphs, or a even bit more if you want. Show something of yourself and share your personality, it's your only opportunity to do so outside of your pictures. While a picture may speak a thousand words, some people would still like to read a thousand words and glimpse into your heart and mind.
Most people find this slightly tricky. That's ok, the people reading it understand because they found writing theirs a bit tricky too. Topics you may wish to discuss include who you are; what brought you to cuddling; your approach to cuddling; and some information about your background. Feel free to be open and personal - we're not really looking for a list of facts - but don't over-share.
Writing a good profile text is not a trivial task, but fortunately there is a short cut. Use the search filters to look at profiles of people who are a bit like you. Find the good ones, and figure out what you like about them. What makes them good? Don't copy and paste, but do use them for inspiration. Similarly, look at lots of profiles of the kind of people you'd like to cuddle. Again, what makes a good profile? What are these people looking for? When you look at the profiles of people who have lots of great Karma from enthusiasts, what do they have in common? Make notes as you read through these profiles. Look for themes, and consider how those themes relate to you. What could you say about these themes?
It’s not difficult to write a good profile text, it just takes a little effort. You're trying to communicate with people who don't know you, so use the best English you can. It may be worth dropping your text into Word or similar to get it spell checked. Just in case.
Having written about you, you may wish to write about the kind of person you would like to meet; how you may be able to help a cuddle-buddy; and what you can offer the community. Focus as much on what you can give, as what you are looking for.
Towards the end of the text, talk about any technical details that may be relevant to a potential cuddle-buddy. Special circumstances, where/when you are able to meet, your screening requirements and so on. For example, "I'd like to meet in public for coffee the first time, but assuming that goes well you are welcome to come to my house. I have a cat and I'm not keen on smoke, so if you're a heavy smoker who's allergic to cats ... we may have to be just regular friends."
Sadly, it's worth making it crystal clear that you are here for platonic connections only. If you do receive any sexual or creepy messages the procedure for dealing with them is very simple: Block and Report. The site is very good at dealing with the offenders.
Finally
Tweak your whole profile occasionally. Keep it fresh and up to date.
And yes, this is all a bit like a dating profile. But actually it's not the same thing at all. If you think of this place as a dating site you will definitely fail, and you also risk getting banned.
But remember .... your profile is only the first stage of meeting somebody here, getting to know them and cuddling them. Your first message to them (or first reply), how you conduct the subsequent conversation and so on, are actually more important. The profile is just the starting point. Some of the links in the post below have hints on various aspects of that process.
Good luck!