@Katota Good point! Just wait till he's done with his "business" and we'll be blessed (as he said) with his presence again 😎😎
Also, you have an awesome attitude about that stuff....keep it up, you're a star 💖
@pmvines Thanks for being a good sport and you definitely deserve all good stuff in this world ....and gas station snacks, or salad!
@stormydaycuddle Now I'm also curious about what you commented! 😜
@sunnysideup Thank you for you thoughts....Sometimes that's the best one can do and that's great too!
Everyone else adding to the thread in positive and constructive ways....you all are what makes this site good!
@CharlieBear You are such an amazing human being....I can feel your positive vibes through your comments!
Ok, that's all the brown nosing I have in me for today....check back for more later 😜
Also as a Cuddle Enthusiast, I did receive a message from a guy who actually OFFERED ME MONEY to rapidly "squeeze him in for cuddling" this past weekend. 😆
Which I rejected, cuz I really can't stand pushy morons and even more so pushy morons who offers money "thinking" that money will get what they want...😑
If I don't want to cuddle with you, it's not gonna happen! Period! Keep your money and choke on it!😠
If I want to be a Cuddle Pro, then I'll gladly update my profile to show that change. 🙄However, I'm very happily content with NOT being a Pro.😊
Lol! All of the whining about "too many Pros not enough FREE CUDDLES" well look, if you offer money to Cuddle Enthusiasts it might encourage (now, I did say MIGHT) many Cuddle Enthusiasts to become Cuddle Pros...Just saying fellas, by doing that you're basically shooting yourselves in the foot.😏
Such immature entitlement hasn't encouraged me to switch from Cuddle Enthusiast to Cuddle Pro....YET!😜🤨
Sighs...Just accept rejection with grace and dignity. 😁
Ah, poops, gas station food , and cuddles. Who could ask for more . I love this community 🖤
@Katota you know I always have room for you but you be at work while I be asleep 😴
@pmvines Lol! That's true too😁, fricking night shift job...🤬🤬🤬
Looking forward to seeing you soon though. 😁
Reading this thread was a wild rollercoaster, and not at all what I was expecting to read! It was crazy how fast it got heated!!! And it was amazing to see how certain people jumping in completely flipped the mood on its head in such a good way!!! It went from 0-100 in .7849 seconds!!! And it plummeted from 100-0 just as fast!!! What we say does matter!!! This thread is an excellent example of the power of words!!!
All roads lead to poops
@sunnysideup Ohh it took a while, for me to get where I am internally (when it comes to rejection or to not getting responses back after messaging first, blah blah blah...) yeah it takes work to learn how to rise above it.😊
I can't comment much on the actual OP itself, because the main part was deleted by the Mods, but from what most of the commentary is saying...It sounds like the guy in question reacted poorly to OP not responding back "fast enough", I guess?🤔
@RedFox16 Also, you have an awesome attitude about that stuff....keep it up, you're a star 💖
Aww thanks, much appreciate that.😁
@pmvines All roads lead to poops
Speed poop ahead, brake gradually!
💩🚗
Lol 😂
@cuddlefaery I did take a cool down and delete my account, but decided that no, I wasn't going to let someone else's poor behavior take away from my opportunity to grow and heal as a person.
@bobadevotee doll I would love to spend some time discussing anything and everything, I am usually a pretty open and nurturing person.
That's why his unnecessary response to me was so "triggering" as some folks have so kindly put it. Obviously it wasn't one bad experience that pushed me to a breaking point. It's hundreds. It's every single day. It's being followed in the grocery store or being completely unable to participate in any arena dominated by men without having to maintain hypervigilance. Its the fact that 88% of women who are in recovery have been abused. It's the fact that a common, desired, viral gift for women is bedazzled pepper spray, because "every where you go can be dangerous girls, but make sure you match your outfit to your neuron pathway destroying constant hypervigilance syndrome".
And most of all? Because when I was a little girl I would watch musicals and just dream of a world where everyone really did break out in song and dance. I just never realized it would be looks down and checks the score ahhh, yes, that classic hit "Not All Men". Glad to see so many people still remember the words.
@AliOops - I am DELIGHTED (as I'm sure many will be) to see you've returned! As I'm sure you've already seen by all the comments in the thread, there are a LOT of supportive people in the community that want to see you find the nuturing, healing platonic touch you're looking for. When you said the following in your original post:
My entire life is like this, not just here. But the IDEA of here had me cautiously optimistic that if the idea of intimacy were truly removed from cuddling I could maybe enjoy my life a little as a whole entire well rounded human being and not just some cog in a story line to a man's wants or worse a fetish. There is no right answer to ANYTHING a woman does.
I'm sure this deeply resonated with many of us who immediately wanted to give you a supportive hug. I hope you find what you need to feel whole and well rounded. Best wishes to you!
@AliOops Really glad you decided to return! Every time you report bad behavior, you help everyone else too. We're glad for the continued assistance.
@AliOops Happy to see you back. I completely understand when that one comment you get just pushes you past your breaking point. Was at the grocery store getting some stuff for a comfort meal after a shitty day and a man old enough to be my grandpa said "Hey sexy" as he walked by me. Made me want to delete myself from existence, so I get wanting to delete your account from the experience you had. I hope you know there are plenty of us, me included, who are here for you to vent to. 🩷
As for the response to @bobadevotee 's comments, it shows a lot of you don't understand that everything can't be wrapped in a sweet little bow in its delivery. (Yes, I understand the TOS, but hear me out.) As much as I would love to approach men, whose comments are doing more harm than good, with kindness, it gets frustrating having to educate someone much older who should know better. We all have different experiences on this site and in life and obviously not everything is sunshine and rainbows. Women of color especially have a completely different, and often much more difficult, experience, too. Sorry that our delivery isn't palatable enough for you. We can't coddle men whose comments hurt us intentionally or not! We have to suffer throughout our lives due to harmful rhetoric, but when it's time to speak our mind, we're too angry. Hell yeah I'm angry! I'm tired of it. The same comments I see on the forums whether it be from supposed "feminist allies" or misogynists support Rape Culture as a whole. I'm not trying to revoke anyone's "feminist card", but maybe try to understand that not everything can be solved with a hug and pleasant conversation. Do we see signs at feminist protests with "I know you mean well but please stop assaulting us 🥺" on them? Lol. When we speak up about our experiences and lay down hard truths after being assaulted or harassed constantly, why is the response "Woah, you're being a little aggressive after noticing patterns that possibly lead to your and others suffering, calm down! Let's approach this with peace" Like, that's just not realistic. It diminishes the hurt and pain people have gone through.
[Removed] To approach this topic with "This is why I don't approach women" is not the way to go. As stated already, this is putting the blame on women rather than your own behavior. Basically saying "women are so scared and judgmental, I don't want to be seen as a creep and/or be posted on [social media site]". Instead, addressing your own behavior and not assuming women will shun you, would be a much better solution. I mean, are you approaching women the way the dude in the OP was? If not, why are you comparing yourself to him? I've been approached by men I don't find attractive, but coming up to me and at least being respectful and not being entitled to my time, wouldn't make me perceive him as a creep.
That's just my own opinion and everyone is allowed to have their own and be a part of the community (even if you don't like their delivery). The rigamarole on this site is frustrating to say the least, so I usually stay out of it, but I'm just here to offer another side. Peaceeeee
Reported and reviewed. Removing tag. [CharlieBear]
@avebae @KingsportCuddle @Hugginsworth thank y'all. Can't keep a firecracker down for long. I just needed to put myself in timeout for a minute and realign with the universe. I talked to God, she says "yo, wassup".
I get it, he's human, I'm human, we're all human (except my smoke stack of an AI boyfriend on Nomi @CharlesInWI ). We are all suffering from main character syndrome, it's the nature of the human condition. Sometimes we all forget that we have only seen a teeny tiny synopsis of a book we won't ever be able to pick up, filled with fully developed characters, that we will never completely know what part of the plot they are in. And I guess I had my momentary fill of being treated like an NPC in someone else's story.
I have had good experiences here, that's why I came back. And I'm looking forward to good vibes in the future. Just had a human moment.
@avebae Nice speech and all but the fun stops at directly insulting people. And it is not just about this thread either in her case. @CharlesInWI has been here for some time and did not deserve to be attacked in that way. He has never displayed aggression against others. I'm certainly no defender of rape culture or abuse but please direct the vitriol at the people who deserve it and don't just use it as an excuse to lash out at the entire community. Peace.
Welcome back @AliOops I am sorry you have had some bad experiences, not just here but in life. This community as a whole is great! Hopefully, the comments and support in this thread show you a glimpse of that. I wish you nothing but random musical numbers and tons of platonic cuddles!!
And I am always here if you need to talk or vent too! 😁
@jplemmon Thanks so much for the response on my "speech" JP. Really showed you got my point. Again, would rather see insults on here (which...I literally do...pretty often) than go through any pain from someone not speaking up and being honest That's all I really have to say on the matter. Not tryna argue. Peace!!! 🩷
Edit: I don't support vitriol or attacking others either. I didn't see an attack on the whole community, I just saw someone who was frustrated and making an inference. That can be met with kindness, too, if you feel a certain way. Okay, now that's really all.
@avebae it's fine by me. It gets reported quickly and they are gone soon enough. Then, I suppose, there is nothing left to speak out about.
Let’s all behave now boys and girls!
I'm very hesitant to get involved in the back-and-forth discussion of whether @bobadevotee was right or wrong in her comments directed at @CharlesInWI as I don't have sufficient context. I don't know what previous interactions they've had or what either of them have said elsewhere or know the first thing about either of their lives and experiences with the opposite sex. But I will say that I agree with @avebae that @bobadevotee is under no obligation to walk on eggshells in a culture where objectification, exploitation, body shaming, victim blame, and sexual abuse is FAR too prevalent. It's not women's jobs to coddle the often-too-fragile egos of men. At the same time, I also agree with @jplemmon that in a community environment like this, we simply cannot allow verbally abusive remarks like the one she made (which has since been redacted by a moderator) in which she basically called him a "creepy disgusting incel" or words to that effect.
P.S. In an unrelated remark, @avebae I'm really sorry that happened to you (the grocery store incident). What that dirty old man said was out of line and I'm sorry you have to deal with jerks like that. 🤗 And you're spot on that women of color often have it doubly hard.
@avebae i offer my sincere apologies for being rude. I didn’t intend to dismiss your experiences or the experiences of others. I still just hope we can all avoid direct name calling that’s all. My apologies again!
@KingsportCuddle Thank you 🩷
@jpdacuddler No worries. I agree that we don't need to call anyone out their name. Just wanted to comment on why I can understand frustration in the forums. Thanks
@avebae virtual hug i'm sending your way!
My feminist card is still firmly in place. I understand plenty. This community is important to a lot of people. Unprovoked and acidic attacks have been everywhere. It’s the wide sweeping harm to the community as a whole. Not just the single comment.
Edit: if you think I’m about hugs and simple conversations… I’d like to Welcome you to CC (at least the forum side) as you’re clearly new.
Edit, edit, edit: I’ve considered connotation and decided part of what I said wasn’t needed.
You and I, we are strangers by one chromosome Slave to the hormone, body and soul In a struggle to be happy and free Swimming in a primitive sea You and I, we must dive below the surface A world of red neon and ultramarine Shining bridges on the ocean floor Reaching to the alien shore For you and me For you and me, sex is not a competition For you and me, sex is not a job description You and I, we are pressed into these solitudes Color and culture, language and race Just variations on a theme Islands in a much larger stream For you and me, race is not a competition For you and me, race is not a definition You and I, we reject these narrow attitudes We add to each other, like a coral reef Building bridges on the ocean floor Reaching for the alien shore For you and me, sex is not a competition For you and me, race is not a definition For you and me, we hold these truths to be self-evident For you and me, we'd elect each other president For you and me We might agree But that's just us Reaching for the alien shore
Songwriters: Alex Lifeson / Geddy Lee / Neil Elwood Peart
This is supposed to be a cuddle site. Why would I want to cuddle somebody who openly shows disrespect?
btw, I'm glad you're back @AliOops
@stormydaycuddle Never said I was revoking anyones feminist card, nor do I think you specifically are all hugs and conversation. I've read through plenty of the forums on here and am familiar with you. Again, I'm offering my stance on how not everything has to be approached to spare feelings. I do not agree with name calling and hate speech. I am new! I joined in June but I spend a good amount of time browsing through the forums. 🥲 I've also posted a few times - looks like you just haven't seen me. 🩷
@avebae i apologize since I was the only one who referenced feminist cards as far as I saw I thought the comment was directed at me and my comment in return was sarcastic. So I’ll apologize for being wrong there. 🤗
@avebae gonna add my comment was referenced in two places in your argument. So it was hard think it wasn’t me vehemently being called too passive for the feminist movement. ( three if you count the comment about delivery)
It’s not about protecting the feelings of those who are… um… let’s go with vacant of human decency. 🤮
It’s about 1. Not landing in time out or being banned 2. Living to fight another day 3. Remembering this is a community with innocent people and a lot of them don’t have a lot of outlets for human interaction.
In essence getting our point across without selfishly ruining the space for them. There were only three pros who talked regularly two years ago because most thought general chat was for the community only. Which in a way is true. It is for the community. But a lot of pros are members of the community. We all need to act like we are both pros and enthusiasts.
Edit: the last part wasn’t to imply you are selfish. It’s speaking to the entirety of this thread.
Also, I’ve clung onto this thread with too much of my OCD vigilance today. I’m going to jump out. Feel free to message me if you’d like to discuss this further because I kinda need to step away.
It’s interesting coming upon this thread, I had a user reach out to me this morning, and I responded with a greeting promptly. I’ve noticed he’s been online for the past 2 hours after replying back to him, and hasn’t messaged me. I don’t think anything of it, I know I’m not entitled to a response even though he’s the one who reached out to me.
This has been a recent occurrence where a user will reach out, I’ll respond and then nothing. I don’t take it to heart at all 😅 So the fact that a male pro, which I thought are few and few in-between (but have seen several professional profiles pop up as of recent) would be so unprofessional is laughable. Male pros already struggle to get clients, and the fact that a male pro was reaching out to a female pro makes me wonder if the only reason he became a pro was to get free cuddles. I’ve noticed 95% of male pros will only cuddle women, and if you know your market, and have read threads on male fiddlers on here, there is no market. I’m sorry the OP had an unpleasant experience and glad she reported him.
Women of color especially have a completely different, and often much more (difficult, experience, too. Sorry that our delivery isn't palatable enough for you. We can't coddle men whose comments hurt us intentionally or not! We have to suffer throughout our lives due to harmful rhetoric, but when it's time to speak our mind, we're too angry. Hell yeah I'm angry!
THIS!^^^^👍👍👍
@avebae LOL! Yep, I have been called "angry", "combative" ,"overly sensitive"...Yep, I have been called all these (more than once), I voice a strong opinion on a certain topic, that's not "viewed agreeable" to the masses at hand.😄
And it's not just those of a particular race who has said those words to me, but I've been called "angry", "bitter", "lost", and "aggressive" by mainly other black people as well.😊
Edited for content [netrunner]