what? lap dancing?
oh..tap dancing. ok
I'm cleaning my glasses.
Lol
@netrunner @CharlieBear can we stop this from being rehashed? I don’t think the argument that’s coming is worth anyone’s time.
What’s being rehashed here? A clarification on an accusation made? That someone else is being asked to clarify. Now that there’s no actual clarification…time to lock the thread?
Is that fair to Charles?
What if he comes back and wants to redeem himself here like @AliOops did
Then he will hopefully see the tag Charlie took out. Some of us see this whole thing in a different light and we’re tired.
And if you aren’t sure who why does it matter?
He already saw it. That’s why he left. I think him seeing that we’re against any abusive comments made towards him will probably be more productive towards the “we” that have contributed thus far with very relevant opinions and thoughts.
Interesting theory.
Remember when cuddlers were people who liked to describe themselves as open, caring, welcoming, and non-judgmental?
Pepperage Farm remembers.
It matters because I valued the responses in this thread, including your own and didn’t understand why you would accuse people of supporting abusive language towards him in their discussion on the topic when it clearly wasn’t that way at all.
And then, after making the accusation, when asked about, you ask someone else to clarify it for you.
some of us saw it differently. Not only based on this thread. But I’m tired. I’ve got a client. As far as I know despite the different perspectives no one’s in trouble. (I don’t think) No one was tagged so the comment can be take it or leave it. It’s fine if you don’t see it. I don’t think getting into it is productive. I think those who understood commented and it doesn’t need to go further.
@PrettyLuv the thread has gotten quite long and a number of edits have been made but, essentially, there was a clear and direct insult made (now edited). Following this, there was:
I’ve gotten a few DMs already from women appreciating what I’ve said here, so now I’m happy 😂 Thank you to the women who have sent support, and I’m sorry you don’t feel safe enough to comment that support here.
It seems there was support here and apparently that support involved the insult since that was the crux of the statement made.
It seemed clear to us.
@CharlesInWI if you ever read this. I know nothing but good things about you. I like @bobadevotee as well but despite what others have accused people of supporting or not supporting here, I’m not so keen on the attack made against you, and disagree with what’s been interpreted of your response to recoiling from women. I think that does happen to some people when they really don’t know which direction to turn after a while with so many conflicting perspectives coming at them at once. I also really appreciate what @avebae wrote as well in regards to women’s voices in general and the social dynamics around that. I do think your comment may have been twisted around a bit to support other relevant issues/topics that have really nothing to do with you, which I’m sure you know, does happen a lot here with isolated comments and rhetoric and the tunnel vision that ensues as a result. Either way though, sorry you had to experience that and I hope you do return back to the forums soon.
@jplemmon i think the implication was that the support was coming from those commenting rather than those dm’ing her privately.
@PrettyLuv Nope. @jplemmon had it right. Charles’ tags were deleted in some posts and whole chunks are now missing. It was a direct attack yesterday. But there is way too much to rehash as someone mentioned earlier. But the attack occurred before the mention of people DMing. I can see where you think otherwise now after all the edits and rewording but the implication was Charles was told he was a major part of the problem for women. Wrong person and wrong target. If anything he was pouring his heart out why he struggles with people and life in general. Someone took that confession and turned it into a weapon.
@PrettyLuv there were multiple expressions of support for the idea that it's ok to use whatever language you feel is necessary on the forum as long as you are mad enough. That seemed to rally support. That's what caused a bit of an uproar.
The other problem is that there were two discussions going on simultaneously: the discussion about what happened between AliOops (the original poster) and the male cuddler who went off on her for not responding fast enough to suit him, then the separate discussion about the exchange between bobadevotee and Charles. And there was a lot of crossover to where if someone expressed support for "him" ... well wait a minute, which "him" are we talking about? And likewise for "her." And the thread became a jumbled entanglement as to who had the right to be mad at who and it not being always clear which discussion was being spoken of by various posters which led to a lot of miscommunications, testy exchanges, and high-running emotions.
In conclusion, I wish this thread had been locked down some time ago. There was some good that came out of it. We were all reminded of the importance of not being afraid to fearlessly stand up against injustice even when it's unpopular (while not doing it in a deliberately malicious way). But despite the few positive takeaways, I suspect that if the thread had been locked sooner and Charles hadn't had to endure 2-3 humiliating days of watching his worst fears play out: feeling socially awkward, having hurtful remarks thrown at him, then having dozens of people dissect his life and words and intentions and fears and insecurities and character and place it all under a microscope to be scrutinized, he probably wouldn't have left.
Well, I do apologize for use of said "deleted term" and I won't use it again. Now that I know it's not allowed.😌 Although, I wasn't trying to be offensive with my tone when I said "deleted term". I'm still sorry just the same.😊
@KingsportCuddle Lol! 😁Hey, I would definitely listen to them.😄
@Katota Hahaha! I tried really hard to add some levity to the discussion with the "groovy" poster, but it got drowned out by the intensity of the thread. 😅 But yeah, I'd go listen to them too! 😆
@KingsportCuddle I love Austin Powers. I went thru a 2-3 year period where I imitated Austin Powers every where and I even wrote a paper about him for English 101. lol
@Minestrone101 Hahaha, that's awesome! ☮️✌️
@KingsportCuddle Yes, to you and all the forum members : "Oh, behavvvve!!!" lol it's not my bag.
Correct me if I’m wrong but, I’m not reading saying someone’s “part of the problem” as them supporting verbal abuse. I don’t think that he’s part of the problem at all but if merely saying that were considered verbal abuse then saying the following:
No one said don’t speak your truth or not to speak your truth in a forceful or even passionate way but ... Defend it if you will but know you’re part of the problem.
No one said don’t speak your truth or not to speak your truth in a forceful or even passionate way but ...
Defend it if you will but know you’re part of the problem.
Would also constitute verbal abuse which obviously it doesn’t.
In its context, I read it as them upset over the act of recoiling from a woman as being “the problem” in response to an act of coercion on her.
CharlesInWI response unfortunately getting wrapped up in it in the process.
Perhaps the edited versions made the comments look more peachy then it was.
@BoomerSpooner that the term “Caucasian persuasion” has been around since the 1970s
Lol! Funny you mentioned the 70s, cuz that's where I heard it said the most was from old movies and especially old Norman Lear TV shows from that era.😆
Especially, from watching The Jeffersons and Sanford And Son...LOL! 😆 The character Officer Hopkins (aka 'Hoppy') said it as a reference to HIMSELF in one episode dealing with a woman character who was drunk ( and clearly a little loopy upstairs 🤪) and mistaking ANY MALE character for Fred Sanford...Lol! Including him, if you know who these characters are then there's no way one could mistake Hoppy for Fred Sanford!😄
Lol! I also liked the rhyming factor between the two words, they went well together in that fashion. 😁
But I won't say it again, lesson learned. 🤐
@PrettyLuv
Bingo!
I read the first paragraph before it was removed, and I honestly thought @CharlesInWI was tagged in error. He is not that kind of person. at all. @CharlieBear ", a male pro reached out offering free cuddles.." ...or trying to get free cuddles but spinning it as if he is the one offering the freebie? . that makes his behavior even worse.
Now several people have explained it’s not as clean cut as it looks. I hope those late to the party and the edits are satisfied? Maybe?