[Split topic] The Rules & Your Moderators



  • Quick question... are there any set rules for private messaging? If so, where can they be found and what actions can one take if they feel the other participant is not following them?
  • There are none that I know of
  • I'd like to hear what @Mark has to say about this.
  • If people aren't behaving appropriately, report them to the admin. If anyone doesn't know how to do it, click on a members profile, click on the the three dots believe save as favorite and click report and then proceed to report ;-)
  • [Deleted User]CuddleBunny88 (deleted user)
    edited June 2017
    @c8h7n3o2 There's only one set of rules that applies to private messaging.

    Advertising: Advertising to users of this website is not allowed. This also applies to the use of private messages and emails without the recipient's prior consent. This rule does not apply to community events (cuddle parties, etc) and topics appropriately posted on the Cuddle Requests forum.

    We should not abuse the private messaging system to advertise ourselves or our businesses to potential clients. If you feel like a user is not following the rules, report and block them!

    Edit: Pros should only message people who contact them first for business. Other conversational messages are obviously fine. 

  • edited June 2017
    Pro advertising over a PM is a bit of a grey area for now but I recommending avoiding it.

    Being abusive over PM would also warrant a report. I'm not talking about being insulting and unpleasant because of a heated argument - a block resolves that. I'm talking abusive in the sense the user probably shouldn't be here. A racist attack would be one example.
  • edited June 2017
    Are there (or should there be) rules concerning posting in languages other than English?  I just saw a new member's profile on the home page that is written in German. Out of curiosity, I pasted the last couple of lines into some free online translators. Microsoft rendered it thus: "I'm looking for anyone here for friendship + or other sexual stuff. SFW is to keep everything quiet."  But PROMT translated it this way: "I search here nobody for friendship or other sexual things. Everything should remain quietly SFW."  I read the first version as looking for something sexual, and the second version as not looking for anything sexual. Both translations are clunky (that's the problem with translation by machine), but one seems in keeping with the spirit of this site, and one does not. The acronym SFW could be key. It's "Safe for Work" in English, but who knows if it's an acronym for something else in German?  In any case, I gave Google the tie-breaking vote. Their translation:

    "I'm looking for someone for friendship + or other sexual things. Everything should remain SFW."  So it comes down to whether this person is looking for nobody (Promt), anyone (Microsoft), or someone (Google) for sexual things. PROMT is exculpatory. The other two translations are not.  How do you moderate that? 

    Edit: by the way, her pics seem innocent enough, as does the rest of the profile. So I'm not trying to cast aspersions on this particular new member. Just pointing out a potential problem with non-English profiles in general.

  • edited June 2017
    For now profile text in other languages is ok because presumably the people viewing the profile would typically understand that language based on their location. However, on the forum it's important to keep posts in English as doing otherwise can disrupt the flow of a thread and understandably frustrate readers.

    If you have come across a profile that when translated suggests they are open for something sexual then please report and they will be banned immediately. 
  • Thanks for all the info everyone!
  • Very well expressed.
  • edited June 2017
    Mod Note

    The following accounts have been fully banned today for likely being part of a network of duplicate accounts:

    greenearth, Altreides, Lisahayes, Jellobiafra, leto
  • Well done Mark, thank you for letting us know.
    John Auckland NZ.
  • How does @Cuddlista still comment here if her account has been deleted?
  •  Thank you so much Mark! HUGE HUG!!!! 
  • [Deleted User]VIPirate (deleted user)
    edited June 2017
    Stunning. I had suspected a few to be sock accounts, but never knew that there were so many. Thank you, Mark, for doing your best to make the site as friendly as possible. :)
  • edited June 2017
    Someone told me awhile back they thought I had multiple accounts and I believe they thought that because of this person who is now banned. Multiple accounts should all be banned, it's a huge red flag.
  • edited June 2017
    You're welcome and thanks to you all for your reporting.

    @MrSoloDolo Deleted main site accounts don't currently auto-delete forum accounts. Not ideal and will be resolved but it's not really caused any major issues yet. I'm considering either having forum accounts auto-delete with their main site accounts OR just disable the forum account and prevent previously deleted main site usernames from being registered again thus preventing a different individual unwittingly inheriting someone else's old forum account.
  • @mark They are still out there, you can see it in the way they use the forum and what is on there profile.
    Thank you again mark, the site is going to grow and work well.
    Love and peace, John NZ.
  • edited June 2017
    John, if you think there are more accounts please do let me know and I can monitor.
  • @Mark - Thank you. The rules and regulations set forth concerning discussions are clear and precise. 
  • Thank you for this!! ♡♡♡
  • Oh this is great! I am new here and it definitely helps me navigate with clear rules in place :3
  • The boards have been quite peaceful and I'm very happy to see the positive change. I hope that we all continue to follow the rules Mark has put in place.
  • Dear all new members, Can we please refrain from bad photos on your profiles, nude hairy chests are not what this site is about, photos with men,s rooms/ bath rooms, in the back ground ( Tacky very Tacky ).
    If you do not want to put up a photo of yourself, use a photo about your personality, As @Morpheus/ @patatohead has done.
    A photo helps you be seen by the system, left blank you are not seen.
    If you do put up a photo of your face use a good one, screwed up faces, angry looks, and alike set off red flags. add a body shot, Body language tells a lot about you, for a few dollars you can get a pro photograph  you can use over and over.
    The site dose take some work and you have to sell yourself, please think about what you put in your wording, I am broad minded, Means I am looking for sex or more than just platonic cuddling.
    Have fun and please play safe.
    Love from John and his trees, Auckland NZ.
  • Dear All, since the above I have been contacted by many members about other bad conduct on the site.
    Communication by E-mail should be respectful and let us try not to have one liners as in most cases you will not get a reply and feel you are being ignored, which you are, because you did not put a conversation together.
    Some flattery can be good but not over the top, to much is a red flag. please make sure there are no inuendos in you corrispondance or words that can be misinterpreted, we come from different parts of the world and what can be said here can not necessarily be said there, a case in point between India and the US both are English but some words are easley misinterpreted. A massage in US is not a Massage in India.
    We are a platonic cuddling site so clothing are expected asking for anything else by inuendo is not part of the rules and asking for it two or three different ways is a red flag.
    Have fun but please play safe and respectful. John.

  • edited July 2017
    @funandadventure, as you yourself have pointed out, different phrases can mean different things to different people. Intent matters, as does regional and cultural context. You said, "... please think
    about what you put in your wording, 'I am broad minded' means 'I am
    looking for sex or more than just platonic cuddling.'"  Maybe. Maybe not.

    Terms like broadminded or open minded can also mean 'I do not discriminate.'  Given that so many people refuse to consider a cuddle partner who is not from a narrowly defined age range, or ethnicity, or even political persuasion (I've seen several profiles that say, "If you voted for X, don't bother contacting me"), someone who says they are open-minded may simply be saying they are willing to engage in platonic cuddles with a wide variety of people. Not everyone talks in code. If we cede all phrases like open-minded to the minority of people who use it as code for prohibited behavior, how can the rest of us describe ourselves? Close-minded is not exactly a selling point. Yes, I'm being facetious, but only a little.

    This is a thread about site rules and their enforcement. Though I am not fond of profile pics with toilets in the background, there are no rules against bathroom photos. Inveighing against things like that, or against turns of phrase that are generally innocent but  might be misconstrued, may be taking the policing of the site too far.  IMHO, there are enough new profiles that violate actual rules to keep us all plenty busy reporting. 

    Edit: sorry about the weird formatting. Don't know why that happens. It looks fine when I'm editing, and changes when I post. :-/
  • Dear Quietman775, yes you do have good points and with us talking about it it helps take some load off @mark, some people as you have said do not see the differences but it is a red flag, ask any of the Companions there thoughts on the wording, Broadminded. I would not of put it up if they had not communicated about it. The policing of the site is getting harder as the numbers rise and @mark is doing a good job but simply bringing to the public notice may reduce his work load, today I have had some people private E-mail and say they did not realize how a simple phrase can change peoples thoughts about them.
    Hope all is well my friend, love peace and happiness, John NZ.
  • For me, the difference between theory and practice is context. I trained rigorously in a field predicated on constitutional freedom of expression, but on this site, being contacted by strangers in the context of cuddling and physical proximity, danger and safety, any ambiguous or possibly leading terminology that dances with double meanings or innuendo? Nope. Red flag. Not going to reply. 
  • I'm new to Cuddlecomfort and appreciate a reputable site that supports professionalism. Thank you!
This discussion has been closed.