@Minestrone101
@lonelytauros
@lonelytauros You look good this morning. What happened ?
@Sooson He became a Pro cuddler. They all be models, yo. 🤭 Kiddiiiiing!
~ Sunset Snuggles
🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover
@Sooson im a shapeshifter @SunsetSnuggles shhh 🤫 You’ll blow by cover 😎😂
I'm not thrilled with the majority of the topics presented to converse about on the message boards. It gets to feeling like social media and that doesn't make me feel "safe" AT ALL. I liked that this WAS a site where I got that "comfort" vibe but I just don't really anymore. I don't like how that makes me sound insecure, but I liked it better before..
@Jaeger84 I met @BoomerSpooner fresh out of an incredibly toxic relationship. ANY advice you get from his finger tips, take to heart cuz he's MASTERED how to make someone feel safe, calm, and respected and as an enthusiast myself, that's valuable beyond what money can buy!! This site's terrible at notifying members of when there's a message. I log in when I get a message saying I have mail here and it'll be three weeks old... And not ONE message, but like, 12!! Patience and persistence will go a long way!
@great_pillow08 if you would like to receive notifications when you get messages, simply go to settings and push notifications. Hope that helps.
@lonelytauros Hwasa is 🔥.
@great_pillow08 I have been having really sporadic experiences with push notifications, e-mails, and pop-ups from the site for the past six months. They were accurate and consistent for me, prior to that.
Now, people tag me and I find it by accident myself; no notification. People message me and I'll get e-mails, even though I've turned that one off. People respond to my threads and I get one notification, only to find five or six responses, similar to what you said. @Gary, any idea what may be causing this? 😟
@great_pillow08 re: forum topics and negativity
It's a saying in the hospitality industry that it takes 10 good reviews to outweigh 1 bad one.
People tend to feel negative emotions more urgently, so they will seek to express those quicker and more often while they'll tend to be more passive regarding neutral or good experiences. Meanwhile, readers will read a small number of negative topics and those will be what stick in their consciousness rather than the positive ones that actually outnumber them. Our neurobiology is built to respond stronger to negativity and urgency than to positivity and calm, so the emotions we get from reading or seeing negative things last longer and are harder to brush away.
Social media algorithms amplify this because, us being human, we click on the negative and sensational first and more frequently. It becomes a feedback loop that repeats ad nauseum unless we consciously work to break it.
When it feels like all we're seeing is negativity, sensationalist, or scary, it helps to take a break, regulate our emotions/nervous system, and then take a good hard objective look at the reality of what is present so we can better curate our experience. We can impact how we feel about the content we interact with by choosing to ignore topics that don't suit us, pouring more energy into those that do, and creating more of what we feel is missing. We don't have to avoid it altogether, we just have to learn how to use it more effectively to our advantage and how to protect our own boundaries.
It's totally up to you if you want to give the forums another chance, but I think your experience could be changed for the better, which could in turn improve your experience on the site and within the community.
I am finding out that I was unusually lucky. I created a CC account, filled out my profile, and sent out five inquiries to cuddle pro's. Four responded to continue a conversation leading to an in-person cuddle session. And two of those pro's have become my favorites that I will continue to book until they stop their practice. This all happened within the first month of joining CC.
I have no experience with messaging other enthusiasts. I've heard that is much more difficult to find conversation and mutual interest. I have such a rewarding experience with pro cuddlers, I haven't found the need to wade into the enthusiast pool.
One thing I found that works here (but not so much in the real dating world) is to be nice, respectful, thoughtful, kind, and sensitive. Open up. Share why you want or need cuddles. I was SEVERELY touch starved and said so. I knew I just needed someone to hold my hand. The pro's responded!
I joined this site on 1/24/24. And it has literally changed my life, completely. I can never overstate this. I was very despondent, and now I am a giddy goofball again having the time of my life! I owe it ALL to these tremendous caring, empathetic, and responsive Cuddle Professionals. ALL!!
@Expecting_Magic That is so beautiful!! Thank you for sharing. 🤩
@Expecting_Magic you are having a good experience because you are a respectful person, reached out to pros, have filled out your bio, have photos on your profile, and seem like a genuine person who wasn’t wasting anyone’s time, and you were serious about booking sessions with pros.
The bar is extremely low here, and most men who reach out to us cannot do even one of the things that you’ve done, since you’re actually a thoughtful person. Most aren’t thoughtful. Most send off DMs asking “r u up? Meet now?” With zero introduction, no profile info, no photos, not even a polite “hello”.
Vast majority of dudes here would have great results if they did what you were doing, and they can learn much from your example.
@Expecting_Magic My experience has been similar to yours. I haven't had much trouble getting responses. I've only been here for a short time, but currently list 8 people in my sent messages and 7 people in my inbox. (Mostly pros, but not all) The one person I've sent a message to but haven't received a response from has a note in her profile that she's currently on hiatus, so my message to her was essentially "I know you're currently on hiatus, but I'd love to connect when you're back." (The actual message was much longer with an introduction, etc.)
I don't have publicly available photos of myself, but have a private album that I share on the first message.
I don't know that there is a real secret to success beyond: Show them that you recognize them as an actual person, be respectful, open and kind, and that you have actually read the things they took the time to put in their profile. (And taking the time to put stuff in your own profile also helps.)
@great_pillow08 I know what you mean. I deleted all my social media accounts a while ago. Best decision I have ever made. Ironically it’s not helping on sites like this or dating apps. Almost everyone is using social media to “confirm” that you are real. When I say I don’t have any it’s a red flag for most people because they think I have something to hide. All I want and need is some human interaction. :-( Sorry you had to go through all the stuff.
@great_pillow08 Thank you for your advice. My problem is that I need to get replies from people especially from my area first. I know that I am a great cuddler because I love to give.
Can confirm what @bobadevotee said... Whether this site or really any other social media, dating, or site where we have profiles - the vast majority of messages I get are "wyd?" at odd hours, from completely incompatible people who clearly didn't read my profile, or people who were banned before I even had a chance to read their message. We then have to wade through all the muck to find the messages from honest inquiries, and of those probably 50-80% (depending on the day, site, weather, who knows what) are low effort one-liners that give us absolutely nothing to work off of.
We don't need Hemmingways or Keats, but the bar is SO low that I'm happy to just not be harassed, be able to parse what is said, and be able to engage in actual conversation. Like, some highschool angsty emo haikus or sitcom style jokes would even work 🤣🙄
Or, you know, some hefty spam filters.
@Jaeger84 depends on the age range you’re talking to, but most women I know think no socials is a MASSIVE red flag 🚩
Prime example is when my friend started dating a guy she met who claimed he had no socials.
Few months later, turns out he definitely had social media and he was engaged to be married.
I’ve noticed some profiles here want socials to verify you, and I get it because they’re probably cross referencing you with banned members to make sure you’re not one of those guys, since we have no verification system on this site to keep creeps off of it. There’s so many predators that get banned and just make new accounts. It’s also a good way to check for catfishing because while it’s easy to steal a pic online for your profile, it’s a lot harder to make an entire fake social media with multiple years long posting history.
@cuddlefaery would this be acceptable? 😅
Same experience. I’ve even had pros message me directly, yet I get ghosted when I actually respond and show interest in scheduling a session.
@lonelytauros that's way more dexterity than any of the dudes in my DMs have, I'm sure. If this actually happened, I'd probably recruit them for some choreography, dance movie style 😂
I've had a fairly easy and straight forward experience with my interactions onis site . It's not super simple but it's not rocket science either . Several posters on here have given good insight into what makes for a better experience re making connections with people . I don't have much to add .
To the op, yes. Interaction by conversation... writing on forums will do it. This thread alone is proof. Interaction by meeting...reach out be respectful. Don't act or write in desperation, don't harass.
@Jaeger84 As an enthusiast, my vetting process is different from the Pro's - especially because I only start by cuddling in public, I'm not inviting strangers into my home, or walking vulnerably into theirs.
I would never ask for or look for your social media, let alone require it, to cuddle. For me it's about building a meaningful connection. For Pro's, they might see that process as a "time waster". But I'm not here for money, I'm here for genuine friendship.
Does anyone actually interact in this site?
Of course, there are plenty folks interacting here in this discussion post. Though I keep missing a lot of juicy tidbits of information here on Cuddle Comfort...Still I interact.😁
Though, I don't get many responses to any messages that I send out to other Enthusiasts (local or nearby to me)...Still I interact.😊
Though my location is plain and likely not popularly recognizable (here in Georgia), unless one was to Google "Poultry Capital Of The World"🐔...Still I interact.😁
Though my looks may not be that of Angela Bassett or Idris Elba, because there are "cuddlers" who solely wish to ONLY CUDDLE those they find "physically attractive"😏. Eh? It is what it is and it will be.😌 It's not something that I want nor encourage while seeking out platonic cuddle partners...Still I interact.😊
Though my feet are size 11 wide, and they're flat as pancakes 🥞 and can cover a lot of ground...Still I interact.😄
Though my comment is mildly plagiarizing Maya Angelou's infamous poem/speech/whatever titled "I Rise" (or "Still I Rise", not completely sure of the title)...Still I interact!😆😁
I'm confused why not having social media is a red flag. Many people don't. Facebook is freaking stupid. Nothing but misinformation being spread around.
So, is social media a net positive or not?
Connecting with people is easier, quicker. But is the ratio of good/bad the same?