@TxTom well dang. What am I supposed to do now?
@hey_nikky Perhaps you could tie them up and recite Vogon poetry?
@hey_nikky you would have to get consent first.
@TxTom 42
I still get tweaky trying to do the half-spoon with another girl. It's very platonic and comforting with guys...
...but when I go to lay my head on a girl's chest, it makes me feel super uncomfortable because her boobs are in my face...
It's even worse imagining a face to face cuddle with a girl, where I'm used to being able to bury my face in a guy's chest...
...but that would feel 100% inappropriate, with a girl. I will not do this position with women, nor do I let guys do it with me being the "upper" person:
I've had some great talks about the half-spoon with a lovely Pro, however, and one of the suggestions was to pull a sheet or blanket up between the other girl's cleavage, and my cheek. That makes a huge difference with my discomfort, and I realized it's really the skin-on-skin bit that bothers me, most.
@starrynitecuds I totally get you about the weighted blanket position. I was extremely against it for a long time, but eventually decided to give it a shot in a group setting, with a good friend. It could absolutely be a slippery slope, but with trusted close cuddle friends, I've found it can be quite lovely, and 100% platonic. Trust, a friendly mood, and a complete lack of movement all contribute. But I'm very picky and limiting on who, and where, I agree to this one. (Also not suggesting you change your stance at all, just tossing out my experience with this one. 😊)
~ Sunset Snuggles
🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover
What a silly topic… what cuddling isn’t rocket science that you need a manual for. Use common sense
cuddling isn’t rocket science that you need a manual for.
That's what I used to think.
Then I started reading these forums.
I've learned since that giving and receiving a hug is a perilous endeavor fraught with temptations and danger, unless you skillfully navigate the cuddle-scape with patience, knowledge, and wisdom.
😁
@SunsetSnuggles Lol! 😆 I can understand especially if said woman has big boobs like myself.😁 I have yet to cuddle with a woman, though I have messaged a couple with friendly respectful icebreakers but still no response back...Eh, it happens? 🤷♀️
I was thinking if a woman isn't comfortable laying her on head on my chest, perhaps I can offer my belly as an alternative to lay on would that make a difference...🤔
Or perhaps place a small pillow up against my chest, of course that could be "too much" cushioning there for comfort. Lol 😁
Whatcha think?😊
Complaints about this from men have been curiously absent.
@SunsetSnuggles I actually find that position really maternal feeling, either giving or receiving. It's been really healing for me since I've struggled with lingering unprocessed grief since the death of my mother 11 years ago.
I mean, being bi/pan it absolutely could turn awkward, but because the people I've done it with have also been firmly in platonic mode it's helped. Just like when men have had unwanted physical reactions, it hasn't been difficult to just adjust positions so we're both more comfortable or to take breaks 🤷🏻♀️
I've also been able to cradle people against my chest without issue. Maybe it's because I'm tall and big and have always had a mom vibe being an eldest child? Who knows. Definitely wouldn't do it with a lower cut top or a newer partner, but it's really nice to be able to offer that comfort back to them.
I just can't come up with any mature words that would benefit the conversation. I do have a few things to offer but they make me laugh so I'll keep them to my childish self.
Ladies hate when I request the Boston crab
@panda619 I had a similar situation with the figure four Leglock! 🤷🏻♂️😂
@panda619 platonic cuddling doesn’t really allow for a “no holds barred” situation. 😂
Anything in the Kama Sutra
Haha! @panda619 and @lonelytauros I thought you were going to another place with those....but made me giggle when I looked them up! 😅🤭
And yes, I'm fairly certain I would not enjoy either of those "cuddling" positions 🥴🤔😬
@dave31415 I'm guessing those would also be pretty tricky to do fully clothed 😜
@RedFox16 haha lol Another one would be the Camel Clutch…never let anyone try that on you lol 😂
.
@cuddlefaery I actually find that position really maternal feeling ...
I feel very much the same way. I haven't found it to be awkward, but I can see how one might find it so for sure.
@TxTom Oh No, not Vogon poetry!
@Midnight01 I've never cuddled much and I will turn down any cuddling that doesn't include common sense. Nothing about it is complicated to me.
@achetocuddle Well said, common sense should definitely be a thing! From talking to you, I know you have a lot of it and I very much hope we can meet in person someday. 🙂
For me the guy on top facing eachother. I've had clients try to crawl on top of me or get inbetween my legs it feels so inappropriate.
@txbaseball87 LOL 🤣🤣🤣
My two cents is that, if done inappropriately (aka nonconsensually/with the wrong intentions), ANY position can be over the line, so saying definitively which positions are inherently good or bad just isn't gonna work for everyone. For some people spooning is perfectly neutral, for others it's too intimate, same with laying on someone's chest, boobs or no boobs, and like @SunsetSnuggles pointed out some find that awkward, uncomfortable or just straight up inappropriate. With the wrong intentions, mismatched perspectives, incompatible context, and just differences in personal history, likes and dislikes etc. etc. even two people sitting on a bench with just their shoulders touching can be too much.
Everyone has different limitations and things they're comfortable with or not comfortable with, and it's really up to the individuals to communicate that and manage the sessions accordingly to stay respectful and not cross any lines. So in my view, deciding across the board what is and is not appropriate for everyone just has too many variables to make sense. 🤷🏼
Think as long as both are on the same page for expectations and consenting, then it should be good. Some may be opposed to certain positions for reasons not related to appropriateness, like for example me not laying on my right side. I physically can’t do it now due to pain, and I have been doing therapy to hopefully do again.
I did laugh at the WWE type comments. Well played…
@HarleyGirlKate Thank you I feel honored that you would want to meet me. It would be fun to meet you. I'm glad I remembered to follow up on this thread. I tend to read the forum sporadically.
Many otherwise harmless positions can quickly become inappropriate if one person can't stop wiggling/shifting/adjusting themselves. They think they're being subtle, but it's obvious when someone is constantly trying to position a certain body part in a specific place and grind against them.
Yeah, for me it's the grinding part... Nearly any static position is fine, but as soon as there is regular movement quite every position can turn inappropriate.
I once met a girl that used my pelvis bone to arouse herself - and I even didn't notice the first moment. Really didn't feel comfortable.
@achetocuddle I know, right??
My first thought when I saw this topic was…it just feels like the intent is to provoke & tease. Make people think of very INAPPROPRIATE cuddle positions. You ever notice how much discussion about non platonic behavior - in great detail! - there is on a completely platonic website? 🤔
@bekah_cuddles Exactly.
As someone who primarily ends up cuddling people with different anatomy than mine, there is a vast difference between how people can choose to handle things. For normal, platonically minded people, avoiding sexual things is easy and genuinely no big deal. Even if a noticeable physical response accidentally happens (bodies are weird sometimes, it's fine) it's always steered away from discreetly, there's no fuss, no pressure to draw attention to it, or attempts to take things down a sexual road because of it.
But for people who want things like that to happen? It's simply an excuse given for nonconsensual contact to happen, including grinding, pressing, groping as well as verbal or physical pressure/threats to try and force something inappropriate (aka nonconsensual) to occur.
With two people in the first category it doesn't matter what the position is, both people will always be respectful of any boundaries without question or hesitation, but for those in the second the opposite is true. 🤷🏼
@bekah_cuddles Ugh, just their breathing gives them away; I've not had a guy try to grind me but you can tell the second their energy shifts because their breathing goes from even and relaxed to...definitely not. Things happen, I get it...but that's when you pause, pick a different position, take a break, etc.
@Runawaycuddles Oh my gosh, yes! Love everything you just said. This is why I was able to give the Pancake/Weighted Blanket position a try. Because I knew I was in a safe environment with a safe cuddler. And turns out, it didn't feel sexual in the slightest! Your cuddle partner's vibe is everything. Totally love how you said it...
"For normal, platonically minded people, avoiding sexual things is easy and genuinely no big deal. it doesn't matter what the position is, both people will always be respectful of any boundaries without question or hesitation"
💯👏🏻