Enjoyed the interview. Best of luck to you in your studies @AlexBabyBoo23!!
@chococuddles is a male non-professional in Los Angeles, California. "My cuddles are sweet like chocolate! (Also my skin is smooth and creamy like milk chocolate. Nummies!)"
You seem to like the color pink ...
I love pink and fuchsia! The first guy I remember wearing pink was Bret "The Hitman" Hart when I used to watch pro wrestling in the 80s. Among all the flashy styles back then his bright pink and black outfit seemed to still stand out. Plus he wore cool dark sunglasses which gave him an extra hint of coolness.
When people ask me why I wear pink I give the same answer Bret gave when he was asked: "I like pink." Also I exhibit at quite a few shows and a pink tee with a pink hair highlight give me a shameless attention boost.
How did you get into cuddling?
It sparked my interest when I was around eight. A few girls from the neighborhood and I would sneak in the back behind the house and have cuddle parties under a blanket while we talked about cartoons and toys. In my teens and early adult years my friends were seeking sex while I was seeking cuddles. They had more luck than I did because girls had a hard time believing cuddling was enough for me when everybody else wanted more.
Fast-forward to now – I found my peeps! ^_^
Your profile says, "I pick the scent depending on who I'm cuddling with." Could you say more about that?
I usually have five Bath and Bodyworks lotions at home and used to choose a scent based on who I was going to cuddle. Either I'd base it on our interactions, their energy or some other aspect. Naturally I would ask if they were allergic or would mind if I wore body lotion. I know some people don't prefer anything too strong but I would apply the lotion about 30-45 minutes before the session so I would have time to air out. I try to tickle as many senses as possible when I cuddle so scent is important to me.
Picking scents for my cuddle partner was fun but a bit presumptuous plus I was feeling it was more for me than them so now I prefer if they pick the scent. Most say "surprise me" but I always give options.
Have you cuddled many non-professionals?
I've cuddled people from Craigslist but this was years ago before it turned into the booty hunt it became known for. Even with cuddling guidelines that were agreed upon I ran into issues of girls assuming we were dating because we were cuddling. Also a few had busy hands and other cuddles turned into tickle fights and wrestling matches (one had a mean headlock – almost popped my head off like a dandelion!)
I've found a lot of non-pros to cuddle but they're anywhere from 2-20 hours away. So ... my pillow-cuddling game is STRONG.
What do you enjoy doing when you cuddle?
I get pleasure from giving pleasure so if my cuddle buddy is relaxed, I'm relaxed. I want them to feel special and appreciated. We go through so many tough days without getting a hug or word of sincere encouragement, so when I have a chance to melt someone's sorrows and pains away I take it seriously (well, I do giggle sometimes but still serious!). Time stops when I cuddle and I'm in a comfy, protective bubble sharing warm energy with another life form.
As far as personal favorites go I love caressing arms, giving body massages (staying away from the uh-oh areas) and love love love playing with hair. Caressing, stroking, twirling and running my fingers through it. If you have long hair, want to cuddle and don't want it touched please tuck it under a swimmers cap or shave it off (former solution preferred)!
Everyone has personal preferences as to what they like and don't like when cuddling so I like to get all that info up front so there's no guesswork later.
As you've mentioned, some people don't seem to get platonic cuddling. Why do you think that is?
Some people view cuddling as foreplay which is disappointing and disheartening. Time and time again I've encountered the belief that "cuddling isn't enough".
Platonic cuddling works when self-awareness, self-control and intelligence are in harmony. There are endless excuses as to why people don’t get it: culture, upbringing, lack of knowledge, lack of numerous other things. Of course you can learn it but if you don't instinctively "get it" will you truly enjoy it? Who knows. I just know it's more relaxing with the possibility of sex out of the equation.
You don't like to give or receive karma. Why is that?
Cuddling is honest. It's something you can't really fake or something you would want to fake. I've known people who have fudged their karma comments to either receive good karma back or to "be nice".
I understand the merits of having the karma system and am glad some have found it useful but it's not my thing. Also as I've stated before I want my cuddle buddy to feel special and that's tougher to do when they see I've cuddled with twenty other people. Does it matter? Should it matter? Not to most, but it does to me.
This was pretty entertaining to read! Nice interview!
Choco off the top rope
I really enjoyed reading this! Thanks for sharing gentlemen!!!
Wonderful interview and so glad to learn more about you @AlexBabyBoo23 !! ^_^
Thank you @UKGuy and @BlueIris and @reurbo!!!
@lilredmage is a male non-professional in Baltimore, Maryland. "Red Mage is the name of a class in Final Fantasy XIV. My character's race looked like a little human with a childlike appearance and mannerisms."
Tell us a bit about yourself.
If I could sum myself up in a couple of words, I would say that I am a living contradiction. I love the beach and sea, the sound of the waves, the feeling of the sand beneath my feet, marine life (dolphins are awesome!) and even play in a beach volleyball league, but you wouldn't catch me dead in the water (for long). I didn't learn to "swim" until I was 12 and my first plunge into a pool off the diving board ended with me clinging to a grown adult for dear life (I'm sorry, Donald!). Don't worry, we both survived somehow ...
I have a high-end gaming computer which I built myself and is my pride and joy. I spend the majority of my free time on it. It has all the lights, bells and whistles that you can imagine. Yet, the primary games that I play were released over a two decades ago. I'm really picky about the quality of food that I eat at restaurants, but at home I enjoy fine dining on oven-baked TV dinners and pizza (don't you say a word, @AlexBabyboo23). I am also a thrill seeker (as long as it doesn't involve water; see above), but have a fear of flying. Technically, it's not flying itself that I fear. It's a fear of flying ... and then suddenly not flying that scares me.
How did you get into platonic cuddling?
Completely by accident. It all started one night at a bonfire on a camping trip after a long daytime hike. My friend, for reasons that still mystify me to this day, thought my lap also doubled as a footrest. When I jokingly gave her a foot rub, apparently her girlfriends became envious. Next thing I know, all of them wanted one. -_-
That same night when my friends and I were all getting into sleeping bags in this metallic tipi with ceramic tile flooring, a ceiling fan and a broken light bulb (pause here for a moment to consider how ridiculous that sounds), this same person who enjoys human furniture wanted to cuddle with me. After that, I somehow earned the nickname of "the cuddly one" and it kind of just naturally happened whenever my friends and I were watching a movie or TV show. We even slept overnight in the same bed countless times.
Also, I used to be into this slow-partnered dancing called "Blues dancing" and loved the connection that I would share with each of my partners on the dance floor. It could be very intense and intimate. There was no feeling like it in the world. I went to these dances often enough that I became a regular and was invited to attend a house party for the first time. Imagine a cuddle party full of incredibly loving people, except with great food, alcohol that I rarely recognized, and deep conversations plus amazing dancing. During breaks or after we were exhausted from all that dancing, we would usually cuddle on a couch. Fun times!
Eventually, I moved on from the dance scene and went into other hobbies. The few cuddly friends that I hung out with eventually moved away. I still had a desire for human touch/cuddling and I remember hearing about a cuddle party on some news segment. However, at the time, the idea of simply cuddling with complete strangers just for the purpose of cuddling alone felt too awkward to me. A few months later, curiosity got the better of me and I stumbled upon a web site that offered one-on-one cuddling. The rest, they say, is history.
Have your experiences with cuddling been how you expected? Any surprises so far?
Yes. The vast majority of my cuddle sessions have been very enjoyable and unique. What surprised me was how genuine and loving some of these people can really be. My first professional cuddle was quite the experience, for example. When I looked at her profile photo, though she had a pair of the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen, she had this facial expression that looked as if she would devour your soul the moment you looked away (not sure why I chose her). I was nervous about meeting this person, being my first time and all, but when I did, I had an experience so intimate and memorable that it set the bar for all my cuddling experiences ever since. And this was four years ago.
How do you most enjoy cuddling and being cuddled? Is there anything you don't like?
A large comfy bed with sheets that smell like fresh laundry detergent. A semi-lit room with candles and incense. Soothing background music with the sounds of nature and waterfalls. Massage oils and lotions with the faint scent of fruits and flowers ... I require none of these things. Give me a couch with a television, a bottle of water, some clementines, and I'm good.
With a few exceptions, I prefer to cuddle in public until I'm comfortable with you. Once comfort has been achieved, my favorite cuddle location is and always will be the infamous couch. It's perfect for watching Netflix, playing video games, or reading a book. For anyone who has studied the Cuddle Sutra, the positions named "Sardines," "The Times Together," or "Ticklish Delight" are most appealing to me. They're symmetrical, allow our bodies to be interlocked, don't involve our faces fighting for the same pockets of air, and neither side is the primary giver or receiver of cuddles.
I associate beds with sleeping and napping, so from past experiences I found myself fighting to stay awake when cuddling with someone on them. I am more of a night owl, too, so overnight cuddles are usually out of the question. I snore (quite loudly, I'm told) among other things which makes me self-conscious about having a cuddle partner in bed with me, even if I'm really comfortable with that person. And last, but not least, don't ever poke my belly button. You ever see those Pillsbury Doughboy commercials? Seeing this big burly gentleman giggle like that would be awkward for all parties present.
What does cuddling do for you?
Cuddling is entertainment for me. It's almost like a hobby. I find it relaxing and very calming. I also find that it provides the perfect setting to slow down and engage in deep and meaningful conversations in a world where everyone always seems to be in a hurry. And cuddling with Player Two while engaged in a video game (just make sure it's not a competitive one) is a bonus!
Any thoughts on professional cuddling?
I have a special place in my heart for professional cuddlers. I am very, very, thankful for the work that they do and feel they don't get thanked enough. The idea of providing comfort and friendly affection to those whom the world may have shunned, rejected or turned away is a very beautiful and honorable thing. For example, there are profiles that I have read that attempt to reach out to veterans and those struggling with depression or PTSD and I think that's just wonderful!
One final and more serious note for clients of professional cuddlers. Be careful because your emotions may catch you off-guard or even by surprise. This applies to cuddling in general, but even more so here because it is a professional's job to make you feel comfortable, loved and content. Developing a deep attachment to a professional can have devastating and disastrous consequences if you allow those feelings to go unchecked.
My very first professional cuddle session was only four hours long and I only saw this person once. A week later, she sent me a message saying that she left the cuddling site (and the state for that matter) and thanked me for the time we had. This took place almost four years ago and the memory of our session still lingers slightly to this very day. This memory is even stronger than the experiences I've had with my friends and dancing buddies. Feelings can catch even the best and most well-intentioned of us.
So be careful, stay self-aware, guard your heart, have fun, and happy cuddling!
Very interesting interview. Thanks for sharing! Goes to show what a diverse crowd we are; I wouldn't want TV or video games to distract me during a cuddle, and I much prefer a bed to a couch --- but it's a big tent here. ;-)
I note you said: "Developing a deep attachment to a professional can have devastating and disastrous consequences if you allow those feelings to go unchecked." That's never been an issue for me, primarily because a) I compartmentalize very well, and b) I never have just one pro whom I see regularly. Still, I think your advice is sound. Continued happy cuddling!
@lilredmage I enjoyed reading this.
And yes, I'm judging you from across town !
@cuddlesfordays1 is a professional cuddler in California. "Cuddlesfordays is in reference to my marathon-like ability to cuddle. Lean protein is the secret to my staying power "
What are your interests outside cuddling?
By day I enjoy day trading cryptocurrencies and by night drag racing under a starry sky. Jk, if only I were that interesting!
Hmm, let's see ... to offset the inordinate amount of time I spend being sedentary, I'm a compulsive walker and I find myself exploring little corners of LA that may go unnoticed by car (it helps that I have an emotional support dog Biggles as an enthusiastic walking companion). I also enjoy cooking. I've recently moved to Ktown and I've been going through the Anthony Boardain approved Koreatown cookbook dish by dish. And I enjoy reading too ... I'm currently rereading Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood, which I highly recommend.
Can you say some more about your emotional support dog?
Biggles is a three year old Norwich Terrier with a magnificent snout and proud carriage. He is often a naughty boy but never a bad dog and I can't imagine life without him. I got him during a difficult time in my life and his presence helped me immeasurably. He's incredibly emotionally intelligent and a great cuddler in his own right so once I emerged from my doldrums I realised that his skills might be helpful for others in similar situations. Getting him emotionally certified was just a natural progression of his talents.
How did you first get into cuddling? Was it a natural decision to turn professional?
My first introduction to professional cuddling was long before I was aware of a platform like this existing. Professional cuddling been a ubiquitous avenue for overworked, stressed salarymen in Tokyo and my annual trips to Japan to visit relatives brought it to my awareness. When I chanced upon a NY Times article about professional cuddling in the US I jumped at the opportunity to help overworked, stressed people here in the same way.
What kind of concerns have people had before a session?
Newcomers are often worried whether cuddling a stranger will actually be a relaxing experience but it doesn't take very long before we're no longer strangers and enjoying each other's company.
It seem like you leave people very happy and relaxed. How do you tend to cuddle them?
I take my lead from them, asking them what they prefer and I do my best to accommodate. I always start with a bit of light conversation and a relaxing essential oil blend. Light massage and a bit of hair preening can often put stressful minds at ease. I find ambient music to be particularly good for setting a soothing tone for the session. I think Brian Eno's music has an almost metaphysical ability to help people transcend difficult situations and head spaces.
Lots of karma comments say that you can talk about anything! How does the conversation usually go?
I find that conversation evolves quite naturally when you're both listening to each other. I am by no means an expert on everything but I enjoy learning from the people I meet. I'm a bit of a jack of all trades but a master of none so I can often find commonality in another person's interest and enjoy finding out more on subjects from those who know more than I do. There are some very interesting people who use this site from a wide range of backgrounds.
I have definitely shared a lot of good laughs with cuddlers over the past year and hope to have many more!
What would you say to someone who was unsure about the whole idea of platonic cuddling?
A lot of people are unsure of a lot of things: offal, interpretative dance, the opera, etc. I would urge someone that is curious about anything, including platonic cuddling, to give it a go with an open mind. Platonic cuddling can be an amazing experience for many, myself included, but there's no guarantee it's everyone's cup of tea, and that's fine too. But if for whatever reason you find yourself taking to platonic cuddling like I take to a perfect cuppa, you know where to find me. And Biggles of course
Interesting interview. I comprehended everything except the inclusion of "offal" in that final list. Was including interpretive dance and opera in a group with viscera deliberate, or was this a case of auto-correct run amok? :-)
Oh, and I clicked through to your profile because I'm a dog lover and was hoping for a photo of Biggles. Nice pooch pic!
@quietman775 haha no, I just listed three things off the top of my head that many people enjoy but others are reticent to sample
@quietman775 was also kind enough to point out that "offal" isn't a word commonly used in the american english language. Here's a bit more info on offal and its delicious health benefits:
And thank you! Biggles is a handsome chap with an Instagram to boot! If you fancy having a peek at the socal life of a Norwich terrier you can follow him @biggleswalkies
@lilredmage I love the meaningful and unhurried conversations that cuddling brings about too
I apologise for being a month late here but so pleased to see the interview with @AlexBabyBoo23. I had a loss in my life at the end of April. However, not meaning to raise that, merely saying I am a month behind!
I have had the pleasure of @AlexBabyBoo23 ‘s company and she is a wonderful lady - very sincere, very comforting and very healing. She is a naturally compassionate and caring person and she has touched me deeply. She is the real epitome of what this site is about and the world is a better place for her contributions to it.
@respectful, it was awesome that you interviewed yourself! Well for sure it got noticed .. Dude you got some great skills! When I get deeper into pursuing Indie movie, I may reach you out over and beyond reading everything you posted out here including poem wow.. poem too!
@choicesvital Thanks! There will be more interviews here too.
@AndiCuddles is a professional cuddler in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
You're a self proclaimed geek girl! What are some geeky things you enjoy?
Haha, yes. Oh, man -- this is going to be a long answer! If you're not a geek yourself, you should probably skip down to the next question!
I consider myself an OGG -- old-school geek girl. That is, I've been hanging with the geeks since before it was cool!
It started with video games. My dad got me an Intellivision when I was 4. It was amazing. I then moved on to Nintendo, the original GameBoy, PlayStation ... and so on. I still game. Most recently I've played Persona 5 and Fallout 4. My favorite (modern) video game(s) are the Mass Effect series. But I like a lot of different types of games.
Then, starting in 3rd grade, I became a prolific reader. Like, I read a book a day! (I was an only child.) So, I started reading fantasy and science fiction novels when I was in grade school. I read A Wrinkle in Time, The Dark is Rising series, Alice in Wonderland, all of the OZ books ... and then in 5th grade I started reading adult novels. I read Jurassic Park when I was in 5th grade -- right before the original movie came out. Then I devoured everything by Michael Crichton and it just went from there!
I was also lucky to be a child when there was a lot of awesome, geeky shows and movies. As a kid, He-Man and Transformers were my favorite shows. And I grew up loving ET, Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, and, of course, Star Wars.
Magic the Gathering came out in my later middle-school years, and I remember wanting to play it but I didn't know anyone else who did ... until my senior year of high school when I 'adopted' a bunch of 10th grade nerds to teach me. I played MtG a lot in the late 90s and early 00s. I still play occasionally.
I read some comic books in high school. Most of them weren't really female-friendly (e.g. there were few female characters; the female characters weren't interesting; the female characters all looked like latex-clad Victoria's Secret models), so comic books have never really been my 'thing.' But I love some Vertigo, Dark Horse, and Image stuff. The Sandman series is my absolute favorite. Recently, I've really liked Saga.
My MtG nerd friends got me into the world of anime and manga. The first anime I watched was Ranma ½. I was lucky because where I grew up anime was REALLY hard to find (this was still in the VHS days) ... but I discovered Thomas Video, an independent cult video store, about half an hour from where I lived and they had 3 ENTIRE WALLS OF ANIME. My two favorite anime are Cowboy Bebop (of course!) and Haibane Renmei. (If you've only seen the dubbed version of Cowboy Bebop you have GOT to watch it with the original voice acting! It is SO.MUCH.BETTER!)
It was an easy jump from those activities into tabletop role-playing games. I've played a lot of systems: D&D, White Wolf, 7th Sea, GURPS, Nobilis ...
And now I play a lot of 'Euro'-type board games. I especially love Twilight Imperium and Mansions of Madness 2nd Edition. But I have a whole bookcase full of games.
Has cuddling always been a part of your life?
No, not so much. I wrote kind-of a long blog post about this recently. But the tl;dr is that I had a pretty rough childhood. (Thus the escapism into books and video games!) I honestly found touch pretty scary until I was in my mid-20s.
You've been a professional cuddler for a couple of months now. How has it been so far?
I love it! I have learned SO MUCH about other people as well as myself. For me, it feels like a very fulfilling intersection of social work and body work. I really feel that it has healing effects. I think it complements other types of therapy really well. Having had a rough childhood, I've done a good amount of psychotherapy. And I really think psychotherapy helps rewire your brain. (And, of course, there's a good amount of scientific evidence for that.) But I think that body work is missing from traditional therapy. I think that cuddling fills in some gaps, and that it can rewire your mind and body in positive ways, too.
Business-wise, it's a lot like any new business: slow but growing. Since I live in the Midwest, there is quite a lot of education that needs to happen with regards to cuddling. It's not something most people know about. However, I'm completely open about being a professional cuddler and I've had almost entirely positive feedback when I explain what I do to people!
You mentioned that being a professional has had a positive effect on your marriage. Could you say a bit more about that?
When I first started, my husband was worried about two things: 1.) my safety, and 2.) my being touched-out from cuddling. One of my husband's love languages (according to the book The 5 Love Languages) is physical touch. I know he still worries a bit about my safety, but the second concern ... well, I think cuddling has had the opposite effect. I think it actually makes me want to connect physically with people MORE, not less (there are exceptions to this -- sometimes a session, for whatever reason, IS draining -- but that's true of any job). And I think my cuddling skill is improving. And my husband benefits from that!
Being a professional cuddler has also made me care about my appearance a little more. Not that I was slovenly before or that I've suddenly become a girly-girl. (Despite all appearances, I'm quite the tomboy.) But I make sure to get my hair cut and dyed in a timely manner. I do regular foot masques and pedicures ... stuff like that. It's stuff that I would normally do but before I'd feel a little guilty spending the money on myself, so I wouldn't necessarily do it as often. Now I feel like it's a necessary work expense, so I keep up on things. And I'm sure my husband, if I asked him, would say he doesn't care about that stuff. (But I think he likes it).
There's also the benefit that I find this work really fulfilling. So, you know -- happy wife, happy life.
One comment in your karma is that you are "serious about cuddling," which is an interesting way to say it! What is a professional cuddler's job description from your view?
I can't speak for other professional cuddlers on this one, but I feel that a professional cuddler's job is to make a client feel safe, heard, and loved.
I think a feeling of safety comes from things like having boundaries and good communication in place. I also think things like hygiene, cleanliness, warmth, and non-judgement add to a feeling of safety.
Some clients are very chatty and some don't really want to chat at all -- my job is to follow their lead. Listen to what they have to say, converse when they want to, and be okay with being still.
Loved -- I feel like I'm going to get in trouble for using this word because love can mean so many different things in the English language! But, my goal is to make a person feel unconditionally loved -- in a detached way. We all need to feel unconditionally loved and lovable, I think. Some of us get that from our parents or family growing up, but too many of us don't. Some of us get that from our religion, but some of us don't. I think most of us WANT to feel unconditionally loved by our significant other, but in the real world, I think that's a pretty lofty goal (even for me and I have a very happy marriage!).
So my goal is to be a vessel of that kind of love. That's where the detachment part comes in. If I wasn't detached, it wouldn't be a very good professional relationship. But I feel like I can transfer some of the Universe's love to a person. (I've been practicing loving-kindness meditation for around 15 years, and that's where this idea comes from.)
(Edit: @HugsFromFei also has some thoughts on love at the Cuddle Sanctuary blog).
You're planning to do some Cuddle Sanctuary training. What is your motivation for doing that?
Well, I'm a researcher and a bit of a perfectionist! I did a lot of research about professional cuddling before I even started. When I heard about Cuddle Sanctuary, I felt that their 'type' of professional cuddling was exactly in line with my own beliefs and desires for professional cuddling. I want to be the best professional cuddler that I can be.
I also want to bring professional cuddling to more people -- which requires education of the masses and access to professional cuddlers. I don't know exactly where my professional cuddling 'path' will take me, but now that Cuddle Sanctuary offers affiliates ... who knows? Maybe there will be a Cuddle Sanctuary - Detroit in a few years!
What kinds of things have you learned through cuddling?
Well, I've learned new cuddle positions! I've learned a lot more about people's bodies and how different they can be (which is fascinating to me). It's helped me become more accepting of my own body; it's helped me to live in my body more. I kinda' consider myself an intellectual, so up until recently, I feel like I've mostly lived in my head. I think integrating my head and my body is really wonderful.
Perhaps most importantly, I've learned that I can 'love' people (see my definition of love above) with whom I might not normally associate in my everyday life. That feels very powerful in a country that's going through some major growing pains in terms of how we think about race, gender, sexuality, and the like.
Thanks so much for the interview, @respectful!
If anyone reads through this (I know it’s long!) and has any questions, I’d be happy to answer.
Awesome interview @respectful and glad to learn all of this about you @AndiCuddles
I have experience with Andi! Twas the bee's knees.
Aw, shucks, @VanishedDecoy! ?
Awesome interview @AndiCuddles !!!
Thanks, @stellarosass! ?
After being a professional for only a couple of months in a market where business is slow, you’re already giving interviews? ?
@Psychonaut83 You jelly? ???
I’m not a 13 year old girl, so I don’t know what that is supposed to mean. I do understand standard English though, if you’d like to rephrase your question.