Anyone else asexual?

NinjaPandas

I recently found out about my Asexuality. And I got a email saying that this has the choice for asexual now. So please if you are asexual send me a message.

An asexual cuddler here!
Pretty happy with the new feature!

I made a post asking for this several months ago; glad to see it's been implemented now. And yes, fellow cuddly ace checking in!

I sent a request in the day I joined and the next day got an email saying that they were adding the option! It was quite exciting

AutumnCzun

Hi! Another ace here. ^^

Rew

I too am asexual! There are very few of us about just in general, but I'm glad to see there are several on this board.

@dictionaryJane: Hey, we're from the same state. SC representing!

itsdevo

Me too!! I first realized I was ace in 2002!   I have yet to meet a heteroromantic ace guy but that is likely because of the lack of asexuality awareness until recently. I have the faith that I will meet him as more and more of us come out of the woodwork though. :-)

AutumnCzun

Hopeful here as well. ^^

Ace of Hearts here

Me, too! From sunny california.

I have the opposite issue. Do you feel it is a chemical/hormonal thing or a choice? 

Honestly, Kitty, I think either is possible. I think most of us gravitate one way or the other. Here's an analogy: bras comes in cotton, silk, nylon, polyester. You might have several kinds yourself that you wear,  but don't you find yourself always reaching for one kind over another? And then there are others like me who will only buy one brand and style because nothing else feels as good. I think it could be how we pick cuddle partners. I will say those open to either sex probably have more potential opportunities than those of us who don't.  I think it is all about what feels right to you.

I have never had quite a strong desire to cuddle females. I definitely prefer the touch of a man bit I just want to be held. 

vinift

Mee o/ Rio de janeiro

I've always gravitated far more to holding and being held than actual intercourse, so while I am not certain I can say for sure, I feel like I'm pretty damn close to being asexual. It's an interesting type of self discovery when you realize you're not as sex driven as the stereotypical average person.

I feel like you people use this as an excuse to not have sex. There are those who lie about this to avoid sex or to appear cool. It's more of a repellent. Not saying that asexuals don't exist. They're just not as common as they appear on this site.

docgatorb

QSnuggleSymmetry It is illogical to assume that a group of people are not as common as they appear on this site. First, this site is not a random sample of the population, it clearly favors non-sexual contact and therefore appeals more to people who seek this which includes the asexual community. Second, this is a global site and draws from the entire world, not just the people who you have met. Third, people probably feel freer to express their asexual orientation on a site which is not a dating site. You may feel like this is an excuse but to say that these members lie about this shows the same deep understanding of people that Donald Trump has.

The majority of people on this site think about CC as a dating site. There's a visitors feature just like OkCupid. This site most likely borrowed that visitors feature from OkCupid. More users from this site don't mind if the cuddling turns sexual. You will be surprised at the number of members that are looking for more than a cuddle.

docgatorb

I wouldn't be surprised by anything other than someone saying that the majority, as if they had data to support this, of the people on this site think of it as a dating site. Another Donald Trump like move, do you now speak for the majority and define it? Have you been reading the forums? Has it occurred to you that those looking for sex are more aggressive than those who are not?
Also, this site does not borrow features from OKC. This is a standard Bulletin Board like website, something that developed in the internet community long before the existence of OKC. OKC borrows many features from these sites and then builds on them, collecting statistics and then playfully altering the code to see how people respond. Having some of the same colors as OKC does not make this a matchmaking site.

Stop bringing politicians into this. I don't support that politician or share his views. If you don't like to hear my opinion then too bad.

Hello to all of you that identify as asexual. I am definitely not : - ) but I am glad that you have found a place where you can meet others who also identify as asexual.

I would suggest ignoring the vocal minority that resides here and insists that the world is as they see it, and just continue on cuddling.  This is NOT a dating site, and most that I have interacted with understand that and proceed from that place of understanding, There ARE some who clearly sexualize this site. You will figure out who those people are quickly... personally I would ignore them and move on to your cuddling ! Good luck! 

The a in asexual probably stands for "anti" as in anti-sexual.

Zionscalling

I have strong asexual tendencies though I consider myself Demi-heterosexual. That's hard to explain to people and for some to even comprehend what it would be like so I'm more inclined to display asexual vs. straight. But glad there's a strong gathering on here.

bluestripes

@SnuggleSymmetry, "If you don't like to hear my opinion then too bad" -- it's not about opinions, it's about the fact that you're awfully, horribly disrespectful. I've been away for a few weeks, came back and saw some nice posts of yours, but then I check that thread, and here you are again, leaving words that would be an equivalent of sh*tting in the middle of someone's living room. Bad manners and lack of respect for fellow humans who don't fit your notions. 

Aces, sorry to burst into your thread. I hope you guys find what you're looking for and feel welcomed here. If it were my house, I'd clean up, but since I'm a guest like the rest of us, all I can do is apologize.

@bluestripes  is there a way to "clean up?" I couldn't find a way to so. By the way, I couldn't agree more.

^ I really don't care. Again if you don't like what I have to say then too bad.

docgatorb

Apparently you can't help from saying it again and again. It still reminds me of that politician with the great hairdo, you're sure you are not related?

Zionscalling

I know I shouldn't say this, but I've experienced what @SnuggleSymmetry is talking about. Granted, I have yet to talk to another asexual person on this site, but it's a super common occurrence for me to have someone tell me they are asexual as well (in real life) then 4 days later they are going around and have slept with 3 people that they met 2 days earlier. As for trying to weed those out from this website, I don't know what to say. I guess you can ask them about their sexual history after they've realized they are asexual and feel it out for yourself, but that's all my speculation. What ever works best for your state of mind.

docgatorb

I suspect that it might be preferential for a professional woman to represent herself as asexual, I guess that one could be poly and consider asexual relationships as another secondary relationship, Either way, you should feel free to talk about it directly. If not, you'll have to come up with a pretty clever set of questions. I think that the same thing could be going on in this website but there is less reason for it.

MilkToast

I identify as a heteromantic demisexual. I only get attracted to people I get to know intimately, like a close friend. I am only comfortable to sex with someone (besides myself) under those terms. There's a visceral fear in me that comes with one-night stands or looking for hookups: sex is scary & unsatisfactory w/o an emotional attachment first.

There's also a noticeable lack of sexual excitement or even just sex-based sympathy when I'm around others. Like, you know when a group of friends are talking about porn, or some hot-blooded guy just tells me "Look at that booty over there. I'd tap that!"? I'm numb to this type of arousal, so I just get really awkward if it goes on around me or someone tries to push it.

A word of warning, there's going to be people who will try to discredit any ace orientation as being legit (hell, they've shown up in this thread already.) Asexuality is a relatively-new umbrella, so these people might not be able to see how an asexual experiences certain sexual situations, so they could be reacting out of an ignorance in understanding. Just as long as we respect one another, we should be in for smooth sailing.

Crispin

Here is my ignorant question again -- how could asexuals reproduce. It must not be an inherited trait or the trait would have self-extinguished those with that trait.
Is asexuality a leaning or preference or the absence of a leaning or preference?
I have had long periods of lack of sexual interest due to medication or depression or having low testosterone levels.
So when is "asexual" a noun or an  adjective?