What are your main love languages?

edited February 2019 in General





Affirmation and time are my main ones. But acts of service is also so so valued ?

«13

Comments

  • My main is physical touch followed by words of affirmation.

  • I think all the actions to avoid is universal to every love language type... ?

  • @laylanie I agree completely!

    Mine is Physical Touch, followed by Quality Time (perhaps Acts of Service based on the relationship)

  • Mine are Physical Touch and Acts of Service.

  • [Deleted User]9947A (deleted user)

    Acts of Service > Words of Affirmation> Physical Touch

    Usually in that order although I enjoy #3 the most lol

  • The only people I have to show love to are my two daughters, both in their 20's. I would say I practice all of the above except physical touch, which would not be appropriate. My primary love language would be physical touch, but there has been no one around for that in a very long time.

  • @laylanie I felt the same way yes. I do agree.

  • Words of Affirmation primary. Receiving Gifts secondary. ?

  • I would say physical touch, even just hugs (which is the most I've gotten in the past half year or so anyways), and introverted quality time, as in just being nearby, don't need to actually do stuff, just have the presence.

  • Touch, words and time

  • When it comes to a romantic relationship then it's quality time, acts of service, then touch though I think that doesn't apply when it is platonic which tends to be reverse order of physical, acts of service, then quality time.

  • edited February 2019

    They left out food! (Cooking for others, being fed, sharing a meal together.)

    Physical touch, words, and food.

  • @Babichev I just figured it fell in the camp of quality time or acts of service since food does speak to my heart too lol

  • 1 - Physical touch

    2 - Quality time

    1. Physical touch (big time)
    2. Quality time (put away your cell phone!)
    3. Words of affirmation (surely you can come up with something)

    No gifts - I don't need anything, and it makes me uncomfortable

  • edited February 2019

    I'd be curious to know which 'Actions to avoid' people have experienced the most. For me, its 'Laziness' and 'Making more work for me' under 'Acts of Service', and 'Distractions' and 'Not listening' under 'Quality Time'. Those would all be major irritants in my life.

  • Physical touch and then quality time. The other three are barely, or negatively in the case of gifts, on my radar.

  • edited February 2019

    I didn't realise how important physical touch was for me until I started here, though it's more obvious now looking back. After a long time without it I was affected a lot by just small touches. Once I'm all opened up, a single touch can send tingles through my whole body.

    I've noticed that my response to touch can be affected a lot by the emotional connection too; if I feel close to someone and safe to be very vulnerable, their touch has a big impact. (And I don't feel like being touched if someone has been harsh with me).

    Words of affirmation affect me a lot too -- they can make me feel very cared for and valued. Cuddles and encouraging words are a good combination! I love being able to do that for someone else too.

    The "Five Love Languages" book mentions that people often do for others what they would like to receive themselves. I sometimes like giving people hand made gifts, but I wouldn't have put gifts all that high on the list for myself. If someone gave me a gift that they either spent time on or showed that they knew something specific about me, that could be very touching though.

    I guess I also value acts of service, particularly nice meals! But it's not at the level of touch or words.

    And being given someone's time and undivided attention is very valuable too. So all five love languages mean something to me.

  • A note: when you sacrifice something that you want or enjoy or whatever that is causing some pain in order to give a service because of love, just be sure to let them know you are doing that. Because most of the time that's something is not going to be notice, and they are going to take it for granted that you want to do it in the first place.

  • Sarcasm and awkwardness

  • @pmvines - "Sarcasm and awkwardness" Hahahaha!!!

    @laylanie - "I just figured it [food] fell in the camp of quality time or acts of service since food does speak to my heart too lol"

    When you are Italian, food is entirely its own category. ;-)

  • Quality time
    Acts of service
    Food (tacos or beef patties to be exact lol)

  • edited February 2019

    I took the test about a year ago and got Acts Of Service for primary. Secondary would have been Physical Touch.

    I feel like I express love most through Quality Time and Words Of Affirmation though with Physical Touch still being the secondary. My spouse can be doing the most boring thing, like watching comedy shows on YouTube, and I'll just look at him for a couple moments and process everything I love about him and why. Then I'll say something super sappy along the lines of how he makes my heart melt even after 8 years together or how I'm looking at him and it just hit me how beautiful he is. He best receives love in the form of Acts Of Service though, so sometimes my sentimentality is met with a deer in headlights look and a forehead kiss. Other times if I make a great dinner or do something that makes life easier for both of us, I have it returned tenfold, and in this way he could show love the same way he receives it.

    I find that I best receive and interpret love given in the form of both Words Of Affirmation and Quality Time, and secondary as Gift Giving. It's delightful how fluency, fluidity and reciprocation can go so many ways with Dr Chapman's model.

  • I think a sense of humor would be very important. It seems like Mother Nature had one when she put me together. Then there is the case of the platypus.

  • Physical Touch, Acts of Service/ Quality Time tied for second. Words of Affirmation and Receiving Gifts both make me uncomfortable.

  • Words of affirmation is my number one hands down.

    And the mean what you say and say what you mean. Oof that’s too true. Idk about avoiding insults or criticism, as much as keep criticism constructive and remind them its to help them, and don’t lie. Lying is more destructive to me than an insult. I can get over an insult, but if you lie it invalidates everything you say from that point on because I don’t know if you mean it. You’ve basically cut off/polluted my source of love. It is really hard to recover from lies having that as my love language. XD

  • Lying is more destructive to me than an insult. I can get over an insult, but if you lie it invalidates everything you say from that point on because I don’t know if you mean it. You’ve basically cut off/polluted my source of love. It is really hard to recover from lies having that as my love language.

    ?????

    Your way of putting that blows my mind.

    My stepfather was a serial liar, and my mother was very investigative and intuitive. You can't tell a white lie to her, nor to me. Learned red flags from a young age. You don't need me to uncover what you're lying about because I likely already know. ? And you will never, ever have your word taken again without a good pint of salt, after which I keep my distance. Remembering all her complaints about their abusive and loveless marriage, I think she has WOA for her primary love language too. My stepdad showed he "loved" her by Words Of Agitation, negging her, etc. I have never once heard him say he loves her in the 20 years they've been together.

  • Physical Touch and Receiving Gifts ?!!!

  • Words of affirmation, as well as blood sacrifice.

  • I have different love languages depending on whether I'm giving or receiving. So I naturally express fondness through physical touch and (sometimes) acts of service, but I feel most cared for when people give me gifts and tell me how awesome I am. Also if they offer me blood sacrifice. That's rare but super cool.

Sign In or Register to comment.