Edit: Folks, please only answer if you have solutions to what I'm asking for. If this becomes a discussion about how to respect the privacy of strangers you are taking to your home suggestions. Or how people who want to feel secure should take the same old precautions, despite the blaring contradiction that currently that is a game of roulette rather than a formal secure process, this thread could lose some focus.
Does anyone have experience navigating physical safety concerns by bringing in a third party check to ensure physical safety of two strangers meeting?
I've tried to consider
-asking for enough info I could share with a friend so that someone else knows who I'm with.
-with this I've considered.. facebook profile, or ID, or name and where someone works.. anything that would make a person knowable to a friend.
-maybe there is a website (perhaps even a mechanism on this website?) that helps people show up for each other in that way?
-suggesting signing up for a night stay with an airbnb verification for 3rd party identification.
I'm uncomfortable cuddling with a person unless that new person knows that someone knows who I'm with, and wants me to have that sense of security. If I tell a stranger I want a friend to know who I'm with and they are uncomfortable with that, I feel unsafe with them, and it seems to me this website is not designed to know someone long enough to know that you're secure with someone you go alone somewhere with.
To me, if my cuddle partner knows I'm accounted for, they are securing that they are safe. In light of the insight the me too movement offered, I no longer feel it's responsible to meet people I don't know, who could possibly be in that spectrum of people who violate consent, without them knowing that someone else is aware of who they are and that I'm alone with them.
I don't care if this third party is a personal friend, or anyone else.. I just think that if I'm getting to know someone slowly there should be safety precautions (that I'm also willing to offer.)
And yet, this has been a barrier for connection. It also troubles me that this burden of incompatibility is on me. What it tells me, is that all these potential partners are meeting people and that there's not much care in the culture to ensure people are kept safe. I glanced at the terms and conditions here, and in the personal safety section it's warning people not to give personal information and to "use extreme caution" when giving personal information over, with mentions about harassment if one does. It doesn't say in the personal safety section anything about using extreme caution when putting your body alone with someone else.. it almost seems to settle the matter I'm struggling with, with a firm "privacy is the safety priority" which can be used to protect the fragility of men in power.
Rather, I'm looking for solutions people have found, and maybe even websites that will encourage and protect, a way to make personal safety a significant priority that doesn't rely on the intuition of two strangers. A solution (preferably a community solution) encourages that cuddle connections (or even hookup connections if any community is doing this safety measure, please share here) are prioritizing physical safety over privacy concerns.
*you may note that my profile is not traditional here, but indeed cuddle comfort for me at this time is about making sure that a cuddle partner is available for ongoing cuddles and comfort.