Profiles and perceptions

edited January 20 in General

I was wondering, would anyone be interested in putting up there profile for scrutiny in a public forum? What if folks would volunteer their profile for folks to give honest thoughts about how they perceive it.

I’m hoping people wouldn’t be just mean, but give feedback, opportunities for improvement and maybe some tips.

Some men may not understand what they have put on their profile ( pictures and details) may make them seem creepy or unappealing. I know for me I’d like to know and i definitely wouldn’t take offense to it since i don’t know anyone personally. I’m sure some ladies may be curious as well.

I don’t think their is a reason for back and forth convo, just receive it and move on. Maybe a question for clarification but that’s it.

I also, personally, am not interested in what men have to say because I’m not interested in appealing or attracting that attention. I’m sure you could have valuable feedback but......

  1. Is feedback valuable?48 votes
    1. Yes
    2. No
    3. Indifferent


  • mb0mb0
    edited January 20

    May I ask why you care about your profile? There is 1 non-pro woman within 50 miles of your location (and she doesn't have a photo). Who exactly are you trying to appeal to? FWIW in my experience 90% of pros don't even visit my profile when I book an appointment with them.

  • I’m not sure where you looked but there are more than one in my area, not many true. But it’s a discussion I’d appreciate. Do you find it off putting to ask?

  • Some of us travel! I'd be happy to look at anyone's profile and give feedback. :)

  • As a pro, I ALWAYS check my clients profile. I immediately feel more comfortable booking with someone that has any sort of “about me” and bonus points for karma

  • @BashfulLoner I just used the search function to see that there's only one. Actually, I had it limited to only people online within the last week. If I remove that restriction, I see that there are indeed several more non-pro women in your area. However, the most recent login of any of them was a month ago.

    It doesn't bother me in the least for you to ask this question; I just don't understand the motivation.

  • @mb0 many of those that haven’t logged in are new within the last 2 months. We frequently have new ladies around here but they do go inactive relatively quickly. So it could be something about the options they see.

  • edited January 20


    I'm not a fan of pictures that include other people.

    Your primary picture sends a vibe of mystery, stealth and secrecy. Nearly cloak and dagger.

    The use of "loner" as part of your Username is also a negative. Aren't loners those who commit mass shootings? Do women gravitate to bashful men? I think not.

    Those who read your posts know you as a good guy, but few get deep into the forums.

  • @Groucho accepted and understood. Thanks

  • [Deleted User]2dogmom (deleted user)

    @BashfulLoner I have 25+ years in marketing/PR. I would be glad to review your profile (and anyone else who would like for me to do so) and offer constructive feedback. Let me know by sending me a PM and I can reply privately as well.

  • I’m open to public feedback from anyone who offers btw. My feelings are on the self, you can’t offend me. Just be respectful please, to me or anyone else who makes a request.

  • @BashfulLoner I LOVE to travel as well. <3
    I will absolutely give some feedback AS A WOMAN ENTHUSIAST. I appreciate that you are willing to ask and others might glean something helpful since you are willing to put it out there for all the nations to see. 😊
    I’ll take a closer look and try to put my thoughts in order.

  • @BashfulLoner in my haste to critique the immediate reaction I had to your profile pic and Username, I neglected to add that the "About" section is well done, and should be appealing to women.

  • First of all. @BashfulLoner Your name doesn't imply anything negative to me at all. I think of Bashful as shy and I actually think of one of the seven dwarfs. That doesn't invoke any kind of yucky image. Loner (to me) helps me see that maybe you are an introvert rather than an extrovert and you sort of find yourself more often in solitude than in large groups of people. (Personality types are something I love and appreciate so that we can understand that people have different perspectives.)

    As for your profile pic.... THANK YOU FOR HAVING ONE AT ALL LET ALONE TWO!!!! Your face being a little downplayed by your super cool hat doesn't make me think you are shady it means you are willing to share some of your personality as well.... bashful... shy.... etc. Many people only share part of their face for their own privacy reasons.... Like @gentlesnuggle just shows his eye from the side. It shows a willingness to share but also a certain amount of privacy. Not sure your intention with it but that's what I think of whenever I see it pop up on the forums. :3

    Your second pic is sweet and cuddly looking which invokes the visitor to see you in a comfy space... What did come to mind is "Is it him or just a pic grabbed from the net? Who is the girl? Is he in a relationship but didn't say that?" (This pic looks super inviting btw!) I didn't feel like it created doubt as opposed to curiosity. I love it when people talk about their profile pics in the about me section, so that would've been a fun tidbit but that's just me.

    You obviously took time to think about what you wanted to put in your profile. Not a novella, but enough info to get a sense of WHY you decided to cuddle and join this nontraditional community. Personally.... I would take a minute to clean up some of your spelling and capitalization etc but that's probably just me since I AM SO OLD and grew up going to spelling bees and getting red checks on my LA papers. I know with this generation we are so spoiled with texting and all of the technology but for some reason it makes me think that you are younger than you are which as we've extensively seen in the forums, sometimes that matters. :)

    You said a lot of amazing things but this is my FAVORITE!!!

    Interested in being a positive addition to the cuddleverse.

    You are a wonderful addition to OUR universe!! Thank you for your vulnerability. HUGS!!!!!!!

  • I think its a great idea @BashfulLoner. Ill submit my profile for review. ROAST ME lol. #aintskeered

  • I would actually welcome anyone to look at my profile and message me to give me feedback. That would be appreciated .

  • @BashfulLoner I don’t post here often, but I like this idea and I think that if approached in a nonjudgmental fashion this can be helpful for many of us to communicate ourselves and our intentions more effectively.

    Thank for you bringing this up, and I hope to receive some helpful, constructive feedback on my profile. DMs are also welcome, and I don’t take offense at any of this, as it is all an opportunity to really learn how others are perceiving how I have presented myself — and maybe gaining insight as to how to do it better.

    Of note, I don’t have a picture of myself on my profile, but in my messages with serious prospective cuddle buddies, I include clear face pictures (at least 1, sometimes 2).

  • @BashfulLoner
    I was thinking the same thing yesterday. Thanks for posting this!

  • [Deleted User]brotothenight17 (deleted user)

    Well it looks like you're in good hands.

  • Hey guys, thanks for the feedback on my profile. Public and private. I’m hoping more people get feedback openly so we can all learn.

    I think a lot of ladies might enjoy the info, because they may not realize what your words translate to a man as. But you might not have enough time to worry about who is not reaching out compared to who is.

  • @sillysassy that second picture is not me, it’s from a movie, i think it’s called “sorry to bother you” the guys name is Lakieth Stansfield and the ladies name i can’t remember. But I’d love to cuddle with her.

  • edited January 20

    @mb0 I think the OP is trying to “appeal” to other cuddlers which is why we are all here. I can appreciate @BashfulLoner wanting input on his profile, I am not as brave!

    I stopped utilizing the location search for cuddlers because it seems like the majority of people I have cuddled with are outside of the typical range most cuddlers search for. The majority of people I talk to privately here travel for cuddles.

    I don’t read too far into cuddle names because it is just that, a cuddle name. I do too much overthinking as it is! I like your screen name @BashfulLoner, it’s different! Sometimes we choose something personal and without others understanding the depth of it make preconceived notions of its meaning and probably most of us are wrong.

    I have to apologize as I think I have probably clicked on your profile several times over the last few weeks. I see a response in the thread and forgetting I had just looked at your profile click again and think shit I just read that and shit he’s going to think I am a creeper! 😎

  • @BashfulLoner I gave you some of the same feedback that appears here in a private message a while ago so won't repeat it here.

  • @CreativeCuddles i think I’m the same type of creeper when i read posts and see people visit me. I understand.

    @littermate yes you have, thank you if i haven’t before.

  • My profile is available if you want to scrutinize it.

  • edited January 20

    I'm totally up for it. I've changed my photo several times in hopes to alter visitor's initial perception of me & I think it worked..... THINK it worked😂 👀

    I'd definitely be open to feedback.

  • @BashfulLoner you have new pics since the last time i looked - i'd love one of you smiling personally.

  • @safensecure4u2

    Well written. Very well written.

    I would simplify your picture collection and use only 1,4, and 8

  • edited January 21

    I’m with @iamkimmyp ... go ahead .. do me

  • edited January 21

    Some of us did this without any prompting when we first joined. One of the comments I received was that using the word 'touch' was creepy, so I removed that word from my profile. But I've since seen many profiles with the very things that people questioned that seem to be quite successful. So I don't think the contents of a profile is as important as some people believe it is.

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