New cuddlers

13

Comments

  • Fascinating, honest, real discussion going on here, thank you for this. It is helpful to know that all kinds are on this site, and one has to vet properly, or might wind up with the wrong kind of provider. With that said, of course, love and understanding for all is needed too. But discernment is definitely needed before meeting anyone on here.

  • "I did ask her, if she would cuddle a client and said, absolutely yes 100%, but they would still have to pay her full rate. "

    This part i dont quite grasp, understand. I would think cuddling someone is a lot easier, safer, relaxing etc than having to have sex with them. You would think she would lower her rate for that?

    I have had a couple of pro sessions, and as much as i enjoyed it, i felt it was mutually enjoyable, beneficial for both, and relaxing, and even though i know i had to pay for it, this service, after much thought and reflection on it, i dont think it is worth escort type prices for it.

    I have seen a few Pros in my area who charge 150 and one even at 175 for a one hour session, and i just think that is very high for this service. Escorts are free to charge more, for that is a very very intimate thing, and risky, but Pro Cuddling and touching someone platonically and mutually enjoying touch, should be substantially lower imo.

  • edited February 2020

    That is expensive! I guess whatever the market will bear.

    It's probably not like paying for extra cheese at a restaurant to them. It's still an hour of their time. Whether you whistle Dixie or cry about your abuse your therapist is gonna charge you the same. They're probably not there primarily to enjoy themselves like the client is but to make the money they need in the time they have.

  • edited February 2020

    @dharma1257 @saramajara

    There are certainly top 10% escorts fetching big dollars. They have professional websites of their own, maybe even a screener or Booker.

    Then there are the bottom 1/3 who survive day to day, rarely have their own place and, if lucky, live longterm in really seedy motels.

    That leaves a lot in between. Girls with jobs like waitress, retail clerk, or unlicensed massage therapist. They usually just need to supplement their income or have an emergency. They often are attractive and they definitely are (mainly) less expensive than our $80-$100 cuddlers. Figure two hours plus $65 for a room. Average $245 per cuddle session. The sex workers in this tier probably range from $140 to $180. True, not as much time, but also can host.

    90% are using some drug, in all tiers.

    The only thing that ought to be illegal is soliciting or performing outdoors / in public

  • edited February 2020

    @Dharma1275

    I assume my friends statement has more to do with how she values her time. Not how easy cuddling is.
    Im guessing the position she was taking when she said full rate, was that her time costs x amount of dollars per hour. Period. If that’s too much, there clearly are much cheaper providers, but she’s not so desperate to avoid so-called trauma of sex work that she would loose money.

    As for weather the provider would find cuddling less intimate than sex, I really wouldn’t just assume so. Cuddling someone means listening, talking, getting and staying physically close, instead of what I assume is just kind of “come and go” experience which I’ve heard rarely lasts the full hour. I would think each is intimate in different way for different individuals... for some SWers it may warrant a price drop, for other like my friend (it wouldn’t). I also wouldn’t be surprised if some other sex works just said “no, not on the menu”. While at cuddle comfort : platonic cuddling is (ideally) the ONLY thing on the menu. (?’ibk

    I obviously can’t speak for everyone, maybe some sex workers do offer platonic cuddles for a lower rate because of what you suggested. But a sex provider with “platonic cuddles” for a low price on her “menu” also doesn’t seem to me like it would attract much other than guys who want cheap sex with a provider they can’t afford, and that trying to keep it platonic is maybe more effort than it’s worth at the lower price?

    Edit: I charge $100/hr and sometimes it feels like free money, I laugh and we talk and it’s amazing... and sometimes it’s very hard to show loving touch and genuine interest to a who doesn’t understand what platonic means, and smells overwhelmingly like sweaty balls dipped in axe body spray.

    Ultimately it’s up to us to set our rates. $175 does seems really high, but a. She’s actually bringing home less than $150 and b. if she is successful at that rate, none of us get to have an issue with it. There have to be other pros for cheaper prices, ( some just pick someone else next time.) but clearly she was special enough to get your booking at least once... and it’s not like we’ve formed a union or have a monopoly on cuddles.

    Ps. I’m glad you and your cuddlers has such positive experiences. I really enjoy 95% of my cuddles, but honestly - occasionally the it can get a little bit overwhelming sometimes

  • edited February 2020

    I have just one pricing data point to share re cuddling vs. SW

    The person in question was $200 full service for one hour. Body rub with HE was $150. Her cuddle rate was $60. To repeat, she couldn't survive on cuddling. She ended up with a Sugar Daddy.

    PS. It wasn't me AND her account isn't active

  • I find it so interesting how much we discuss sex on a site that's about platonic cuddling. Not passing judgment or saying much about it, it's just fascinating.

  • edited February 2020

    Sara, thank you for your sharing and honesty. I enjoyed your profile and your being a empath. I hear what you are saying.

    Groucho, thanks again for your info about SW prices compared to Cuddling.

    Littermate, yes, it is ironic that we talk so much about that subject, but as long as it is not breaking any rules, everything under the sun is discussed in this forum, from cooking to how your day was, to your proudest achievement, etc Each to their own, finding what they want to discuss imo and respecting all. And i agree wholeheartedly with you, it is fascinating :-)

  • I know of a SW who offered platonic cuddling, hanging out with etc. during the time of the month when other activities were off the menu. Roughly half price.

  • @Groucho
    I agree, all different kinds and types of sex work at sex workers.
    I think that through out my life I’ve just been exposed more to the higher end providers, the 10% you mentioned. It would seem like more than 10% to me, but again that could have been because of my particular exposure / big city prices. ??? It’s cool to hear from someone with different knowledge than me, so thx for sharing what you know. Ps. There are also sponges female SWers can insert while on their period to continue working that apparently work great.

    @littermate on one hand, I agree, it’s weird, but on the other hand I can definitely see why. I think the line between platonic touch and romantic cuddles gets blurry for some people in the moment

    @dharma1257
    Thankyou! I get the occasional blast on my profile, but I think it’s all needed. Do you happen to be pretty empathetic ? Feel free to message if you want to chat about chicago!

  • @saramajara The line between platonic touch and romantic cuddles never gets blurry... what vacillates is some people's ability to choose to maintain willpower. And that is a choice, a conscious action regardless of whether someone's hot is getting bothered. "I never meant for that to happen" is just a smokescreen for "I chose to do what I knew was wrong."

    And now I got to use "vacillate" in a sentence today!

  • @StoryDoctor1138 You crack me up.

    Yes, choose to maintain willpower, right on, which also goes with respecting the other person instead of selfishly pushing one's me-centered agenda, and respecting the context of the platonic cuddleverse for which we are all responsible. It impacts more than just one selfish person's world -- every time peeps cross the line they erode the site's quality, integrity and purpose and further open the door for this site to be used for purposes that are not its defined ones. And this is why there are so few women on here -- they cannot depend on the safety and adherence to the guidelines of this site.

  • I think there is a point in a sexual encounter, when a man becomes incapable of stopping, but that is about the last half second.
    It is the same as Lee Harvey Oswald couldn't catch his first bullet, after it left the barrel.

    There are 101 opportunities to stop before that, and on this site, the first one is the private message to a potential cuddler, saying "Hi".
    I think most adults know where their point of no return is, and our jails are full of men who got it wrong.
    To misquote Harry S Truman, "If you can't stand the temptation, keep out of the bedroom".

  • edited February 2020

    @StoryDoctor1138 My full sentence stated my opinion that "I think the line between platonic touch and romantic cuddles gets blurry for some people in the moment."

    I think that for some people who have not had either touch or romance in quite a while, burying ones face in a cuddler's neck (for example) can quickly and subconsciously turn from innocent nuzzles, to the feeling of lips and hot breath on skin, and thus one cuddler's feeling of romantic cuddles. I'm not saying that this is okay, just that it can potentially happen. and once realized the cuddler has an obligation to pull back, and reset the mood to platonic.

    I don't believe every single person is able to control their own willpower to an extent that they can turn off romantic feelings. I agree with you, that each of us has the will power to control our actions, and that often times "whoops I didn't mean to" is a damn sorry excuse... But with unintentional romantic feeling, couldn't even platonic hand holding turn momentarily into romantic cuddles for one person. I'm curious that this were to occur, you would then consider holding hands out of bounds? Or is it then the responsibility of the "romantic" cuddler to end the session?

    I am absolutely not trying to say romantic cuddles are okay in a platonic cuddle agreement, or that ignorance and immorality are good enough excuses to play grab ass. They are absolutely not. I just feel that sometimes, for some people, this can be confusing territory to navigate and not everyone who catches feelings has nefarious intentions. If you are able to keep the boundary between platonic touch and romantic cuddles completely clear, emotionally and physically, I'm sure you are a fantastic cuddle buddy and only wish more people could see things are clearly as you do.

  • @saramajara I agree 100%. Nothing is absolute or either-or when it comes to people. I tend to be very skeptical and put off by anyone that says anything with people is as simple as a choice. If that were true, the world would be very easy to socially navigate.

  • [Deleted User]tryalittle (deleted user)

    Hi! I’m new here and trying to find my footing. Can someone direct me to a quick resource for screenings? That sounds very helpful and a great place to start. Thanks :)

  • [Deleted User]tryalittle (deleted user)

    Oh! Somehow I only read the first page of this thread and didn’t see the very interesting discussion re: sex workers before leaping in with my abrupt shift in tone.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @tryalittle: Good question! I think @Catloaf had a handy bullet list in this comment. The rest of the thread's good reading, too.

  • [Deleted User]tryalittle (deleted user)

    @DarrenWalker thanks! I’ll take a look over there. The thread is good reading and I almost wish I was here for the topic inception. For what it’s worth I think women (and men) should charge whatever they please for their time regardless of what they do with it. I’m not a sex worker (I've annoyed myself by putting this disclaimer here because I think sex work is important work and sex workers provide an essential service for humanity. There is no shame or need to disclaim) but I am a self-employed provider of services who has struggled somewhat with my relationship to money and my perceived value. i have an hourly fee and a lot of people would balk at paying it. But there are a few things to consider:

    • it actually takes me at least three hours of work (preparation, coordination and clean-up) for an hour with a client.
    • I prepare mentally and emotionally and spiritually as well so I can be very present and available to the person I’m working with
    • I’ve settled on a number that’s high enough for me to not feel resentful or exhausted at the end of a job because I don’t want that energy near anything I’m doing. I’ll raise my prices more when I get to the point of preferring to feel excited and expansive (which I think can’t help but rub off on the person paying. It makes for a better experience all around).
    • Volume isn’t always the goal. There are a lot of people that I wouldn’t want to work with. If their response to my prices is “Jesus that’s high! I’m not going to pay that!” I could spend some time explaining the benefits of working with me but the reality is they’ve just shown me that they’re not my people. I don’t bother explaining. I do not need to (nor can I) be everyone’s cup of tea.

    I would assume that all of this can be applied to sex work as well as pro cuddling.

    It’s very possible that I missed ANOTHER entire page of this conversation and absolutely none of this is applicable or welcome. But it was useful for me so I’m gonna hit post :)

  • From what I understand, based on a discussion and decision by this site's owners, known SW's are not allowed to be pro cuddlers through this site. Therefore, @tryalittle, @saramajara et al, disclaimers stating the nature of your services may have value, should you or anyone else decide to comment on that subject. Personally, I see the value in keeping the discussions platonic in tone...

  • @calineur i believe both of those ladies stated they were not sex workers. They were giving incite to what they know or believe on the subject.

  • @calineur how would anyone know unless the pro in question disclosed they are or at any point were a SW ?

  • I hope the post in the forum was not the reason @tryalittle was suspended.

  • @BashfulLoner I actually reported her because she talks about how much she charges but she isn’t a professional cuddler.

  • Just to add to the conversation there was a Lawyer in Chicago who was selling herself for extra money. I think that Sugarbaby's site are a bunch of college girls looking to make a large sum quick and easy. I've noticed more and more "regular" women selling sex. Regular meaning normal upbringing and not abused or forced into it. etc.

    https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-2013-06-02-ct-met-lawyer-prostitution-20130602-story.html

  • @Sheena123 I was going to mention she shouldn't be discussing that unless she's applying to become a pro.

  • @hugonehugall exactly. You can’t charge unless you are a pro. Maybe she didn’t know that but she seemed pretty knowledgeable. I’m pretty sure you can’t charge even if your profile is “pro-pending”.

  • edited February 2020

    @calineur I am not, nor have I ever been a sex worker. My work through cuddle comfort (and otherwise ) is 100% platonic and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am however an advocate of sex workers and believe they provide an important service. But a service that should not and is not welcome here.

    As a female pro cuddler, propositions are something I have to deal with on a somewhat regular basis. And I think that the idea that just the discussion of non-platonic topics should be banned here is ludicrous.

    The bit of knowledge I do have about the sex work industry comes from working at a club in my younger days, and from an old friend who recently shared that she is a successful independent SW provider.
    So yes, a lot of my posts in the forum touch on the subject of sex work and I support the decriminalization of sex work... but by no means does that make me a sex work provider.

    If my opinions and topics of discussion are offensive or put me at risk of being paused or banned am I glad to discontinue my use of the forum.

    But I can assure if that if I was a sex worker, the public forum of a website dedicated to platonic touch, would be the last place I would go to discuss “my job”.

  • @saramajara could I proposition you to watch sports with me ?

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