I see some pros offering virtual cuddle. So how does it work? How do you pay for it? Is it on Skype, FaceTime?
Most pros use Skype. I’ve had quite a few different skype chats. The lowest price we’re allowed to charge for any session is $40/hour so that’s what I charge for Skype sessions. It’s the same idea as a physical session where you pay beforehand. You would pay though PayPal or other methods like that.
The session itself is whatever you would prefer. These are some that I’ve done:
It can be quite expansive lol lots to do!
Thank you Sheena, all wonderful ideas and along the lines of what I was thinking! I was also thinking that sharing a meal together or watching/commenting on a show together is quite a nice way to connect. Lots of fun and innovative ways to share human connection and interaction in these interesting times I know we can all use the company, or someone just to listen and/or provide uplifting emotional support since a lot of us are struggling with this added isolation.
Isolation is a way of life for many in society; the bullying, the sarcasm, being frown upon, the busyiness and the nonsense is often too much to bear. Image having a friend who has a weak immune system and praying that call won't come anytime soon.
Virtual cuddling just won't work here. The speech is oh so bad from the stress and the toil from of all of this.
Hopefully, this will be a wake call for all of us to form a kinda, gentle society. Not for a select some but for all of us.
The nuclear industry uses "glove boxes", long rubber gloves that reach through a perspex plate, into a cabinet, allowing dangerous materials to be be handled carefully. Imagine two sets of gloves, one mounted a little below the other, and poking out of the opposite side. Two people could then stand on opposing sides of the plate, reach through, and physically hug each other. If the middle section was thin rubbery material, they could feel the shape and heat of the other's body at the same time. After use, both sides would be sprayed down with alcohol gel ; or maybe neither, if it is dedicated for one quarantined person.
The next refinement would be a servo system, which could copy the movements of the gloves to a pair of robotic arms, some distance away, with haptic feedback of what they are touching ; plus VR optics to give an image of the person's face. Voila, remote, physical cuddling.
Until then, our imaginations will have to do the work ; as they have for hundreds of years of story- telling and books.
"The lowest price we’re allowed to charge for any session is $40/hour."
For my current clients and inquiries from other places, I'm offering all digital or virtual services on donations only through this crisis. This time sucks, and many people are out of work. I guess I can't offer the same thing here. This is why I work for myself, so I can make up my own rules. 🤷😇
Client at their own house. 👨🦲🏠 Pro Cuddler at their own house. 👧 🏠
Both watching same movie, at the same time. And chatting. 📺📱.
* I always did this w a friend. ( I got friendzone, bigtime. She was Awsome though)
I hate to poke the fire, but... I just can't see my way to paying someone $40 or more PER HOUR to watch me watch a movie over a video feed. I guess if it helps some people and they don't mind with parting with their money then more power to them, but I just don't see the value or benefit. It would feel like mailing cash to strangers.
@ubergigglefritz You are amazing for doing that. You'll be helping people.
Thanks @NewGuy711 . No one has taken me up on it yet, but hopefully the people who are struggling financially will reach out if it becomes needed the longer this goes on. 😞
@StoryDoctor1138 Prob I didnt explain right though.
Pro Cuddler at their place w their own tv. Client at their own place w their own tv. Watching same movie. While they Skype/talk/ chat. ($40 hour)
With this Quarantine, that way people will have some one to talk and wont feel alone.
Now... Either pay to do that or not is understandable. ( People are different w different metality)
Me, pay for Skype/chat/text. No I wouldn't do that. There are plenty of site to do that for free.
If the cuddler was someone I saw before and liked being with I'd think about the virtual for $40 an hour. Some are charging $80 or more an hour for virtual. No way I'm paying that out of principle as much as anything else. That's a lot even to cuddle in person, let alone virtual.
Virtual cuddles do not work for some. Let's be honest. Some of us are not intuitive, patient nor open minded enough to appreciate the nuances and tedious thought processes that go into it.
It's just not where many of us are mentally and emotionally.
Can one learn to appreciate and practice virtual cuddling in a way that makes it truly satisfying to all involved?
Absolutely!
But it takes unlearning of bad habits. And learning new ones.
It takes learning the art of engaging with others. Many of us do not know how to listen and give real honest feedback without being snarky and judgy. We just don't.
Especially when it comes to voice calls, email and SMS messaging. One needs to pay attention to what is said. We read between the lines but we unknowingly judge. We rarely acknowledge the other person and his or her thoughts and feelings.
When it comes to virtual cuddling that is super essential to having a connecting fun experience. Many of us just don't have that mindset.
Hopefully being forced to not have to swipe through a bunch of pictures and messages to go physically cuddle up with someone will help us to build that muscle. Because it is another part of the brain that you use. The convenience of life as we know it with technology has made that muscle weak and atrophied.
Now with shelter in place some may find it necessary to go back to basic human conversation and truly embrace and respect that moment as is.
Personally, I don't think even $40 an hour is justified especially if the person has another job and is just doing the call on their free time: given that there is no traveling involved, and that many are non essential workers, and don't have the skills/resources to work from home: I think it's a tough deal. I'd say $35 to $30 seems reasonable. That way hopefully the 'pro cuddler' might get about minimum wage pay, and the platform they use, can get their share: though if we also factor in taxes, I think $40 could actually be reasonable. Though if possible, doing it for free, or giving* a big discount to those in need, would actually be a wonderful thing. Then maybe having a donation option/pay what you can.
Though one of the factors that I think help with figuring out if the price is suitable for the offered service, is to put oneself in the shoes of the client. Would you pay that much, for that experience to chat with someone who you perhaps never seen, and spoken to before? If there is any hesitation about the price, then* continue to adjust it accordingly until it feels better.
I've never done this before, though I'd actually consider doing a 3rd chat with someone close (emotionally, and or mentally) to me, and cuddling, hugging, etc., with them in that fashion. I think it makes the experience closer to reality. Though receiving hug emojis do light me up, too. Additionally, finding times to speak on the phone, chat, and or video call, can also be nice.
Edit: I also occasionally like ASMR videos, some of their themes are cuddles: weird to some especially if you don't know how it works, or how it benefits some. Though it works for me and benefits me, not as great as the real deal, though it's decent. End edit.
with all due respect there is no such thing as online or virtual cuddling. cuddling must be physical or live in the flesh. this is just stupid.
@bondman45 I agree it's a little silly to call it "cuddling", but a virtual session can offer benefits, especially on this time where many people feel isolated. Touch is only part of the benefit of my sessions. If that's the only positive aspect to a professional's cuddle sessions, I wouldn't consider them a very high quality professional. 🤷
@bondman45 I agree that's why I never say virtual cuddling. I just say virtual because I have no idea what it is or what to call it.
I agree also what was said earlier about the rates. Anything over $40 an hour seems absurd.
if people are seeing my personal comments its not a personal attack/ the pandemic is affecting all aspects of life includng meeting people and the art of simple touch.
lol...
"Mail" used to be a piece of paper that came in the post ; now it is electronic, and if you want a piece of paper, you have to supply it.
What mattered wasn't, and isn't, the communication medium ; but the interaction with the brain of the sender.
@bondman45 it's not stupid to me, it seems for you, it HAS to be physical* to* be* considered* a cuddle*. For some of us, it doesn't always have to be physical*, especially when we can't make that happen. Virtual* cuddling is doing it all, except having the inability to experience touch. Though one can pretty much do everything else: including getting the mental, and emotional stimulation aspects of cuddling. Some of us find beneficial that we look presentable, get comfortable, give each other our attention, be caring, and express our interest to hug, hold hands, etc. For some of us, that means a lot, not "stupid", cuddling is not all about the physical experience for some of us, so we find it important to cherish it's other aspects, until we can get the full experience. Even the simple acts of receiving a hug emoji from people we mutual care about each other can make some of us light up.
Some sex workers ( I'm told ) will only do the basic physical act, to avoid any emotional connection. Others will only engage via webcam, to avoid any physical connection.
I expect that those who do one, would struggle to understand how customers of the other, derive any enjoyment.
Isn't a cuddle, or cuddling, something requiring touch, by definition?? Seems so in Cambridge and Merriam Webster dictionaries. Not saying phone calls or video chats don't have any value to some people, but I don't think we just get to redefine words like that do we? : )
@AceCuddlerMike The Cambridge dictionary definition of "car" is : "a road vehicle with an engine, four wheels, and seats for a small number of people"
Several models of cars used to have only 3 wheels, and Elon Musk would be the first to dispute it must have an engine.
For the last decade until recently, "virus" usually referred to malicious software. A TV usually meant something with a cathode ray tube.
A lot of casual sex is protected using a thin sheet of rubber, which means the genitals of the participants aren't actually touching. Instead each party is being touched by, and is touching, a manufactured device ; which has the shape, temperature, and in one case the viscous friction, of the other.
Before too long, it will be possible to transfer that contact simulation, over the Internet. It was about 20 years ago when my company first got a video-conferencing facility, now most teenagers have one in their pocket.
Conversely, I read of a man who had a successful penis transplant, with all the proper hydraulics and nerves ; but the enjoyment of physical contact didn't last long, because he and his wife kept being aware that it was once someone else's.
It is probably just as true for cuddling. "When it comes to sex, the most important six inches are the ones between the ears." Ruth Westheimer
No, lol, the common cold has always been a virus, long before computers came around : )
@AceCuddlerMike given that the "common cold" (which is actually a term that encompasses a fairly wide variety of viruses) affected humans after they had developed language but before we had any understanding of submicroscopic infections (which didn't occur until the late 1800s), the common cold has not always been known to be a virus.
Moreover, given how many people request antibacterial medications from their doctor for the "common cold", I would bet that most people still do not understand that the "common cold" is a virus.
@AceCuddlerMike "Isn't a cuddle, or cuddling, something requiring touch, by definition??" Not if it's virtual cuddling.
I'm not going to say it's stupid because that's disrespectful to those that see value it. I personally don't and don't think it's for me. For me for it to be " cuddling " there has to be the physical aspect to it. I have no problem calling it chatting or video calling because that's what it is but for me it's not a replacement for what I call actual cuddling.
@hugonehugall thank you for trying to be understanding of it. For me, cuddling, hugging, etc., has different components and when possible to meet all the components is the best. Though when not possible, just trying to stimulate the mental, and (or just the emotional) emotional aspects does it for the time being. I think it might somewhat be (generally speaking) a man and a woman difference. Men as I hear tend to be more about the physical and that that's how they feel cared for, etc. While for women it's more/first about stimulating the mind, and or emotions. So the lack of understanding at times can stem from that.
I think it's kind of like playing a soccer game in real life, vs in a video game. I'd think many soccer players/more physically oriented people would actually be getting into the world of video gaming more nowadays: to help somewhat meet their needs/wants of being out and active. Likewise to anyone who finds that playing sports in real life doesn't suit them, or their situation: one of the best they can do might be to play soccer, etc., virtually. Though, maybe many of them would not find going that route beneficial for those reasons.
"Chat" used to mean being with a person, then it included verbal over the phone, then by text message.
Marriage used to be two people of the opposite gender.
KFC and McDonald's are doing vegetarian versions of their meals, and burgers can be grown in a lab, as can diamonds.
Old definitions are being lost all the time.
@geoff1000 Interesting.