Randomly Blocked?

MattsWeatherMattsWeather
edited June 2021 in General

I want to vent a little and see if others have had this experience. Maybe moderators could shed some light on this as well.
In my 5 years on the site, this has happened a handful of times.
I've met a pro or enthusiast cuddler and we had a great session/we had a great virtual experience or we'd book a session then they ghost me and then block me with no explanation. It's so frustrating because obviously it means there was something they were put off by or uncomfortable with.
Instead of using blocking as a first resort, I just wish they would call me out on it if there was something I inadvertently did that they didn't like or if it's something more minor I wish they'd give me feedback. Or if they've just changed their mind and no longer want to do a session, just tell me. I would never take offense to that and I'd respect it.
I do understand when someone doesn't know you well they may not be comfortable rejecting you because they don't know if you will respect them, so that's why just blocking is what they choose to do. After all, there are a lot of guys that respond to rejection very disrespectfully.
I just wish there was a way to better foster these types of honest conversations. To me, blocking someone should be a last resort. Meaning, if you've spoken your truth to someone and they do not respect it OR if they so blatantly violated you or the rules of the site, then by all means, block and report them. But, if it's something else maybe try telling the person how you are feeling and see how they respond to that first before blocking them. Even if you know the conversation will end your cuddling with that person, it may be good feedback for them to hear. I'd love any input anyone has including from pros/enthusiasts that have done this (I'm not talking about pros that have done this to me specifically, just in general) I've also attached a poll regarding this.

  1. Have you even been ghosted or blocked by a pro cuddler without explanation and you don't know why?108 votes
    1. Yes
      51.85%
    2. No
      48.15%
«134

Comments

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    Blocking comes down to a personal choice, I don’t think there is anything moderators can do to stop people from doing so or taking alternative routes, especially since it is a comfort thing, but there are many reasons why someone would block, I wouldn’t take it personal & just respect their decision (don’t take it as a reflection of who you are)

  • SunnyDazeSunnyDaze

    Did you cross any boundaries with the people who blocked you? If not, it may not even be you.

  • RezzRezz
    edited June 2021

    There's dozens of reasons why people block.
    I block for reasons some may not understand but it works well for me.

    Not everyone takes constructive criticism well and rather than wasting valuable keystrokes voicing why we are not compatible, sometimes hitting the block button is the better option.

    Matt you were perfectly professional during our initial conversation and session. I imagine their reasons are beyond our comprehension. Whatever those may be, it's ultimately well within their right to block whoever they choose without explanation.

    I wouldn't sweat it.

  • Drop_the_MikeDrop_the_Mike

    Don’t worry about it bro. Move on to the next cuddler.

  • Ironman294Ironman294
    edited June 2021

    Only time I got blocked We’re two. One was a pro that we had become friends and she created another profile and didn’t want me to know she was cuddling with others, lol. I didn’t care.
    Anyway sometimes people just feel like blocking you because they are tired of talking.
    And no one owes anyone an explanation. Sometimes they just don’t wanna deal anymore or maybe no reason.
    Don’t sweat it, it’s not a big deal.

  • valkyrievixenvalkyrievixen

    @MattsWeather I’m also in the “blocking is a last resort” camp. I’m sure it gets very frustrating. I agree that it would be nice to know the why, just for a bit of self betterment. I get that. It can take a lot of time and energy to have those discussions. And while I’m sure you understand the “move on” concept and are just wanting to vent a bit, like you said, I wonder how hard it would be to change to a two-step block—like clicking block and then clicking a reason “why” out of 5 choices or something (like creepy, awkward, not a good match, used the word plethora too many times, I only cuddle aliens, etc). It could still be a quick process to block if needed, but could offer at least some feedback. Anyway, hang in there, and keep striving for a better community! We’ll get there!

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999

    Sometimes I get randomly blocked some said I look scary

  • SuperManCuddlesSuperManCuddles
    edited June 2021

    @MattsWeather Thank you very much for the relevant forum post. I have been blocked before by some pros, enthusiasts, 1st Cuddles session and “women only cuddlers” but expressed interest in cuddling me too. Here is how I view it. Most people that I meet do not block me and have positive experiences virtually or in person. So those that decide to block are obviously not interested and I spend my time with the many more people who are. I can understand that some people on this site do not know me well enough to know I deal with rejection well, so I could understand why some would rather block than take time to explain (because from my own life experiences met people that don’t take rejection well and are unpleasant when they get angry 😡 no matter how nice the rejection is). Despite possible negative reaction, I tend to be direct, kind, honest and block only as a last resort. Reasons? Despite not being told directly I am good at putting two and two together, so I have been blocked before mostly due to the person having no cuddle or friendship interest/not wanting tell me. Also having cuddle interest but eventually changing their mind. Even had someone enjoy the in person cuddle, was excited for many months, wanted a second cuddle, I gave the cuddler a far in advance notice for session but when scheduling did not happen how she wanted it too or fit her schedule only at the time (her controlling nature led to me being blocked. It was an easy fix I am flexible and we could have scheduled a mutually convenient future cuddle day/time but that’s ok had many great cuddles and much less blocks since then lol 😂

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    I've said it before and I'll say it again. In the absence of excessive or harassing messages, blocking is about the blocker not the blockee.

  • waynewvwaynewv

    I also have been blocked by a Pro, only once that I know of, then in a few days she deleted her acct. so I assume she got cold feet. I have had Pro's that would not even reply back, and I was local, in her age group she had listed. I wish there was a simple box that anyone could click, that would forward a message, like, "Thanks for reaching out, but I feel we are not a good match", or something along those lines. I also would like to see how many do NOT reply back, like a counter, so if you looked at a profile and seen that the person did not reply back like 90% of the time, then you would know it's a waste of your time to even reach out to them.

  • CatloafCatloaf

    I’ve been blocked by someone I actually used to admire as a pro. I have no idea why she did that, but I came back from a year hiatus to find out that she had blocked me. I was confused but at the same time people will do what they do.

  • MxSmithMxSmith

    I just blocked someone who looks like my roommate's ex-boyfriend. I'm really not sure if its him and I didn't want to bother my roommate by checking. It just occurred to me that dude might be trying to indirectly piss her off or get into her space. So... i took the chance that maybe I blocked the wrong guy. There are a million personal reasons why someone might get blocked that are unfair or untrue, and I understand feeling the injustice of it. I'll also vouch that you have been a fantastic communicator and cuddler.

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho
    edited June 2021

    I've been blocked a few times for inscrutable reasons. Once I had a really great session with a cuddler. Before she left she said to me, "I honestly think that was the best cuddle session I've ever had." A few days later she blocked me. I have a theory about why, and I'm fairly sure it wasn't for any negative thing I did, but I'll never really know for sure.

    Another incident, not involving blocking but illustrating how people’s perceptions can be strange: A woman hung up on me in the middle of a FaceTime call. I texted her and asked what happened. She said I was "super sketchy." I asked what I did that was sketchy. She said the camera was zoomed into my face too far and I kept looking off camera and it was weird. ?????? I honestly have no idea what she was talking about. My face seemed to be framed reasonably, and I didn't think I was looking off camera, and either way why would those things freak her out so much that she felt the need to hang up on me? Seems completely inane.

    So yeah, it happens. Only thing to do is try not to dwell on it and move on to the next one.

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    I’ve only blocked 3 people.

    1. He was very verbally sexual with me but even with my proof when I reported him, he just received a warning. I also noticed him looking at my profile every single day. Blocked. No thanks.

    2. I was told by multiple pros that he was stealing pieces of my profile and sending messages to these women (who were nowhere near his location) about cuddle positions and treating them as his own and saying creepy things. Blocked him so he wouldn’t try to take even more from my profile.

    3. This third person just seem to be very combative and loved to argue instead of seeing the big picture. He seems to make everything around him an issue or make up issues that didn’t exist and refused to see the real problem. I didn’t need that negativity and then he looked at my profile after our back and forth argument. I thought “nope. Don’t need him coming around and trying to use my profile for an argument tactic”. Blocked.

  • peachinthecitypeachinthecity

    I will block someone who no-shows on a session twice. No follow ups or anything but actively viewing my profile. Also, someone who’ll reach out to and doesn’t response but I see constantly viewing my profile. Any weird messages honestly.

    But it shouldn’t matter if you’ve been blocked. Lol I got blocked for saying “Good morning” to someone. But I don’t really care.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    goodmorning @plushdoll : P jk lol, gonna have to agree with you with the constant viewing of the profile & no messages / interaction / or maybe @ odds ect but continues to view profile constantly, just a tad uncomfortable and or strange.

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho

    I find the concern about repeated profile viewing absolutely bizarre, especially coming from a pro. Your profile is your advertisement to the community... shouldn't you want people to look at it, even if they don't book right away? Could you imagine a company like Apple for instance saying, "Well, this guy has viewed our ads many times over the years and hasn't yet bought an Apple product, so he's banned from our stores!"

    FWIW it is very likely the case that someone repeatedly viewing your profile is not actually just looking at you. I will periodically do a search and click on a bunch of profiles in my area that catch my eye, just to see if there's someone I want to cuddle. Some of these profiles I've probably clicked on a bunch of times. Maybe some day I'll actually book a session with them... but not if they block me!

  • nurturingmannurturingman

    I often look at the profiles of people who write discussion posts or replies that I think are interesting. One time I looked at one and it said I was blocked. I found this really weird because I had never had any interactions with this person and I hadn’t even participated in the discussion in which I saw him post a reply. It doesn’t really matter why he blocked me, though; apparently he didn’t like what I have to offer, and not everyone will.

  • valkyrievixenvalkyrievixen

    @CuddleWho I couldn’t agree more!!!! Thank you for saying this! Haha.

    But I also rarely use that function of the site and don’t keep track of who is viewing what, when, and how many times.

    (I can totally see blocking someone who’s been problematic, though, and keeps creeping your profile...that’s not what we’re talking about here).

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    @nurturingman I have had the exact same experience happened a couple times. I found it so bizarre that someone who I had never had any interaction with would go out of their way to block me.
    @CuddleWho It is really frustrating when someone repeatedly visits my profile and when I reach out to them, they ignore my messages but continue to look at my profile. It would be helpful to at least know why they weren’t booking a session with me and to get some feedback.

  • MattsWeatherMattsWeather
    edited June 2021

    It's so great to hear I'm not alone in having experienced this. It's interesting to hear so many detailed stories about unexpected blocking. Like everyone has said, there are a lot of reasons people block others. I will try to remember that if it happens again so I don't take it personally. A few of you echoed that as long as you know you didn't cross any boundaries and there were not any harassing messages, then the block is likely more about the blocker not the blockee, that makes me feel better.
    @Envie and @MxSmith Thank you for your kind words and the reassurance!
    @CuddleWho Your story about people's strange perceptions reinforces to me that we'll never know exactly what someone else's perception is and we have no control over that so we gotta just let those things go and move on.
    @Ironman294 I've heard that saying "no one owes you an explanation" and it reminds me that "sometimes no response is a response" or in this case the block is sort of a response without explanation that we've just gotta let go of.

  • Ironman294Ironman294

    @MattsWeather just enjoy all the good interactions you have had on the site and forget the other ones. Unfortunately people move on and even if you had a good connection there’s nothing you can do.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @CuddleWho that's not the kind of thing we're talking about. We're talking about people who view your profile three or four times a day, every day. Who is in the last three or four visitors every time you check, and whose last visited time never goes above 8 hours.

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho

    @CuddleDuncan Are you sure that's what they're talking about? Because nobody else specified that extreme level of profile viewing, and I didn't get that impression from what they wrote.

  • MattsWeatherMattsWeather

    @CuddleDuncan and @CuddleWho I think there are two conversations going on about that here. Some spoke about how they occasionally visit a profile to see what a pro they know (or have yet to reach out to) is up to. Others are referring to what @CuddleDuncan has referenced with people constantly viewing the same profile every few hours without messaging the the person (even if you did message them that is way to much profile viewing)

  • LovelightLovelight

    I hear your experience, it is similar to people falling off the face of the earth once they video call with me. I had the choice to give up or be resilient and give myself the chance to meet people who will be accepting of me. I concluded that they probably think I am a potatoe which they are free to even if some of them were potatoe-ish themselves. Shrugs :)

    If someone is not willing to communicate, there's really nothing that can be done about it. They refused to do their part, better to do yourself a favor by not doing it for them. Also I'd advise not to get your hopes up at least not until you meet someone a couple of times. Even then I'd refrain from it, just have little to no expectations because there's no commitment to be your friend/cuddle partner anyway unless that was agreed to. And they've showed you their true colors early on at least for that time period in their life.

    On a side note, maybe it was something they found difficult to talk about for some reason or nobody was really at fault just a mismatch.

  • Lev136Lev136

    It's happened to me but then again, I'm sure I've blocked those who don't understand it.

    Sometimes we need to block someone who is not getting our message that you might not be interested or feel you are compatible with them. At that point you need to block them.

  • Lev136Lev136

    @CuddleDuncan , that's happened to me as well..and I'm sure others on this board..

  • CuddleBuddyElfCuddleBuddyElf
    edited June 2021

    I am new, and I haved blocked a couple people, because after reading their profile, I know we would be a good match. No need for seeing each other on searches. It's a bad way to filter, but it prevents us from reading each others profile for no reason, knowing it's not a match. A resonable example is, if someone has cats and they can only host, with no car, and I am allergic to cats, it's probably not a good fit. I'm sure there are other ways to make it happen, but for some it might not be worth the trouble. Some also refuse to cuddle with someone in a relationship. I think of it as a massage, but I get massages nude, so It's kinda the same, but with more clothes on and softer. 😀

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho

    haved blocked a couple people, because after reading their profile, I know we would be a good match.

    For this reason I wish there were a way to hide profiles from search results without blocking. There are plenty of people who I know I’m never going to cuddle with, but blocking them is more severe than what I really want to do.

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