I don’t think, or at least I hope @MaxCuddle didn’t intend to, dismiss anyone’s vetting process. I think he was purely expressing his experience and contrasting that with @Cuddle_RN vetting process. I would say the same thing as @MaxCuddle —I have had 6 or 8 enthusiasts and it did not take that long nor does it have anything to do with the number of repeat visits. There are head cases of the female persuasion as well and I simply chose not to repeat with some of them. Some I still see to this day. This does not mean @Cuddle_RN ’s methods are invalid, it just means there is an array of different approaches out there.
I would add, and I think @MaxCuddle would as well, that the vetting I have encountered is a lot of chatting and answering questions which I fully expect and understand. Would I even go to the lengths to jump through @Cuddle_RN ’s hoops that others might? No, but that’s because I really do not have the time. But it is her perogative and I am not going to tear her down for it. If it works for her, fantastic. Plenty of cuddlers on dry land.
@FunCartel Would I even go to the lengths to jump through @Cuddle_RN ’s hoops that others might? No, but that’s because I really do not have the time.
And here's where pros come in. Most people have to either spend time or spend money. You're fortunate though to have found a happy medium.
It's a pretty reasonable vetting system, if you ask me. At the end of the day, we all want that comfy couch or warm bed to cuddle up next to someone with, but realistically it's smart to have precautions in place just in case. Sure, you might be able to get by without a single precaution and that's great, if your intuitions never lead you astray in that way. Not everyone can't be so lucky.
@Shake49 I was very lucky with my first cuddler and several others I met fairly quickly. Including one individual who had no karma whatsoever and was new to the site.
But because of a couple extremely creepy individuals and those who expected me to drop everything for their schedule I decided to change mine up.
I can't even go grocery shopping or the bank sometimes at the time I want let alone trying to meet up with somebody.
That's okay though. I'd rather have a few really genuine people who understand and are safe accommodating and patient.
@KYtranspant sometimes less is more. I'm happy for you finding that genuine handful. 😊
@MaineCuddle I use both. But I have had enthusiasts reach out to me and I take them up on it. So I travel…a lot. In places where I have enthusiasts that I like I will always see them again. Some places I go I have less time because I have a lot of business there I will use a pro. But my favorite cuddler that I will see at any opportunity is an enthusiast who reached out to me and I am eternally grateful she did.
As a man, I let the woman lead the way on cuddling, which is probably why I likely won't be cuddling anyone from here unless I'm paying for it (Statement of fact, not a complaint). Zero pressure from me, I don't even initiate conversation, as I know women are flooded with messages, so my message would likely be over looked due to sheer volume.
I feel like this should be stickied. I've been pointing enthusiasts here for how to have a better experience on this site
Bottom line, you do what you've got to do to feel safe and comfortable. That's going to be different for everyone, and there's nothing wrong with any approach if it works for that person. Heck, I've got different comfort levels with different people. With some people I may tend to move more quickly than with others. As someone else said here, you've got to trust your instincts.
@Cuddle_RN has provided fantastic suggestions.
@MCcuddles2 - We try and keep the stickied posts limited because of space and people having to scroll post all them to get to the regular forum posts if they're on a mobile device.
Let me see if I can find a place in the FAQS or "Cuddling Discussions and Resources"
Thanks guys 😊 @BrianL, I would encourage you to reach out to any female enthusiast who interests you. It's true that we get plenty of messages, especially when we first join, but we don't get QUALITY in abundance.
@Cuddle_RN As a pro who is also an enthusiast, this is an awesome post. Thank you for sharing your ideas! I’d be honored if anyone invited me to a cuddle at a movie theater. You want my ID? You got it! I got the snacks in my purse too!! ☺️☺️☺️
I've now added this post/thread to the FAQS page under the "Is It Safe" heading.
Thank you @Sideon, however if I'm reading that link correctly, it refers to me as a pro, which I'm not.
Thank you for this. New to the site and this shows me I’m doing things correctly.
@Cuddle_RN - my apologies - let me review and revise.
@Cuddle_RN - this is done.
Thanks @Sideon!
This is such a wonderful and informative post. I enjoyed everyone’s ways of screening people and keeping yourself self. I got a lot out of it!
Also be cautious of dudes or dudettes who try to fish for your social media.
Offered a dude to exchange our WhatsApp, he asked for an alternative. Offered Google Hangouts. Then he asked for my FB. I'm sorry, what do you want that for??
Then found out he deleted his account when I saw through the time waste and fishiness that I said "Nah I'm good. Have a good day." and blocked him. Being a new account also threw another red flag.
Not to be confused with 'phishing" which is when you get a seemingly legit link to sign into an account but it's actually ascammer sending you a bogus link, trying to collect your login info.
I just posted yesterday a way for people to screen using Facebook (send your page link and a screenshot of you making a post from inside the account to prove it's yours) if they won't send ID. So I give up. Guess there's no way to screen some people with real info. 😂
@Cuddle_RN if I may ask, how would you recommend a man seeking cuddles with a woman start up a conversation? I am not sure if I’m doing it right
@Moxytocin not sure if that's somewhat of a response to what I said, though we were discussing video calling and where to do that. I tried twice to find a solution, I wasn't gonna keep going especially given all the other red flags I was feeling.
Oh, yeah that's a weird thing to use Facebook for.
@KB62, I don't want to give a direct answer to this as predators will use it against vulnerable people. I would suggest searching the forums for answers, especially @CuddleDuncan's input.
@CuddleDuncan and @Cuddle_RN these are some great tips. I wish I had read this forum yesterday 😅 Someone asked me for my snapchat (contact outside of CC with vanishing messages 🤦🏽♀️)
I’m applying to go pro so these are some wonderful tips. You can use there for the online world in general.
@Moxytocin I have my FB linked expressly in my profile here- and yes as a means to instill confidence that I'm a 'real' human.
I have twice? in my life chastised someone for not getting a safe call when they should have.
I'm very aware how threating/scary it can be; for anyone who's interested-
There is a book that's a good read on safely dating from a specific subculture that's rather good on the subject Before anyone reading this gets the wrong idea about myself~ my personal leanings in this area fall in the other side from the "D"s of it.... https://www.amazon.com/Kinky-Girls-Guide-Dating/dp/1890159603
@KB62 an opening message to somebody you might like to cuddle should be polite, not too long and written in correct English. All you are doing is offering to start a conversation. If possible, refer to the recipient's profile with some appropriate comment.
Don't mention the possibility of cuddling together or meeting up in a first or second message. Even at a dating event you wouldn't walk up to somebody and immediately suggest having sex: you'd just make normal conversation.
You do have a photo, but for the folks that don't you should include one in your first message. (You can attach photos to messages.)
Following these tips will put you straight into the top 5% of messages they receive. Doesn't guarantee a reply or anything like, but it helps a lot.
No reply is itself a reply. It means, "Thank you for your message. Unfortunately, we are not a good fit at present but if that changes I will come back to you. In the meantime, may I wish you the very best of luck with your cuddling."
Once the conversation is under way, remember the basic shape of cocktail party chit-chat. Respond to the thing the other person just said; say something interesting and vaguely relevant about yourself; then bat the conversation back to them, usually with an open question.
Note that all of this has already been said on the forum numerous times so I'm not giving away any secrets that a predator could use.
@strangemanNJ yeah you're not supposed to put personal links to pages or contact info in profiles, I believe. The screening information I'm talking about comes after a confirmed booking. That's the only time members (pros at least) are allowed to exchange info (and many choose not to at all).
@Moxytocin well;
Mine referred entry was in fact yanked today, and I did send an inquiry/appeal about it. I have had it written in there for years and it is not actually against the T&C that I can find.
If anyone could point out where it's says it's not allowed, I'd be fine with it.
~but from the terms and conditions~ "CUDDLE COMFORT STRONGLY ADVISES YOU TO USE EXTREME CAUTION BEFORE SHARING PERSONALLY IDENTIFIABLE INFORMATION WITH OTHER USERS OF THIS WEBSITE."
Is strong advice, not a mandate.
so TBH I am feeling a little cheeved at this arbitrary decision currently.
My choice-- and at least as written today, not a violation.