Edit: Everyone has a mind of their own, they give how they can, what they can and want to. Not so much what one asks, so if one's not happy with it best to keep moving.
..."Thirdly, if I wanted food and someone gave me a plane. I'll understand it's what they could give/what they wanted to give/what they gave. I'd be so happy! Thank them for their gift and keep going until I find what I need most."
So you miss all that which most of us are basically saying anyways and narrow it down to the part I just say about selling the plane.
LOL.
Instead of saying like I want food not a plane - maybe you will come to see the good in most things and learn to accept and be thankful for the love others are giving you as you say it yourself too - there are different ways of expressing love and everyone expresses differently. There are different types of love.
I am done. Enjoy. Peace.
@CuddlebugTM (Logic has no place here damnit) You mean you don't like being called out on your behavior
@Scarlette Yeah, I took a break and decided to try again. lol
@CuddlebugTM (It’s about finding a woman who wants what you want . If you cant agree to her boundaries then it’s a bad match and vice versa) Its funny how you made it about if I cant agree to her boundaries, What about her agreeing to mine? I guess thats the vice versa? haha If a woman has bad behavior like you both and doesn't respect my boundaries, I don't want anything to do with her. If she learns how to be less selfish to only her wants and needs and be more selfless to my needs then yeah. We will be a good match.. I will do second chances. As we are all learning, we are only human and make mistakes. I am very open minded and compassionate.
If we refuse to learn how to love others and only treat them how we want... We are going to run into some problems.. I'm sure this is the whole reason racism, equal rights started.. People do not feel valued and respected after their tank runs dry of being loved in the wrong way... We need to communicate so people know how they want to be treated, If not we're all going to be unhappy, As I'm sure this is why women felt repressed in the first place! Men were only loving women the way they wanted to love them.. Women had enough and seek empowerment and want what they want now.. So now I am sure men will come back with a counter... As each relationship is a negotiation.. To get your wants and needs met. Until both parties are happy or they choose to walk away if not met. Just like you state!
Yet this is what (Some) women do to men they want to be treated a certain way. so (most) men naturally want to please women, so they will try to learn how to act or behave so they are happy. Men are always trying to please women... I dont think anything is wrong with men speaking up about how they want to be treated do you? We could learn from example and be selfish yet at the same time be selfless and find a balance between the two... Compromise which is what a relationship is based on..
(This would be the wrong place to find her if you are looking for something more than platonic . It’s quite simple .) Making it seem yet again... I am in the wrong place doing the wrong thing.... lol Getting kind of old..seriously.
I am on CC only for platonic touch... To get help with healing for my skin hunger. As too much tough love from others or them not showing how to love in the way that I want and need has left me pretty deprived. As some women do not think men are capable of only strictly platonic touch or their inability to understand the need for it and think men are only sexual creatures that do not know how to control themselves. Which is completely untrue. Nice how you cherry picked and still sought out ways to attack instead of grasping the true problem... Some women's (peoples) behaviors.
@lovelight yeah I hear what you;re saying take what is given and learn to accept that. However is that is the case then I guess this should stand too... As it is only fair.. So dont try to change their behaviour if youre not willing to change yours... As that is only fair and equal..
You missed the vice versa part both people have to respect eachothers boundaries or it’s a bad match . Simple
I believe Love_Arcitect may be confusing platonic cuddling with relationships. The cuddlers on here have definite boundaries as stated in the Client and Cuddler Agreements. We give affection unconditionally in the confines of the agreements. If you read my Karma you can see how I treat my cuddlers. But there is a line. I am not their therapist nor am I going to understand their "Love Language" in a 1 hour cuddle. I provide a safe place to communicate, a safe place to touch, a safe place to feel loved....for the length of that cuddle. My cuddle partners adore me because I do that extremely well. If you need someone to take the time to learn your love language and all of you idiosyncrasies then you are looking for a life partner or at least more than a cuddle partner. I don't want nor have I earned the responsibility of being the most important person in my cuddler's lives.
Our personal lives are very different. We are loving parents, spouses, girlfriends/boyfriends, friends.... I can only speak for myself, but when I love, I love hard and with all of my being. I am kind and affectionate and supportive and loving. I am a strong partner that will stand up for my man and love every time. I am not a quitter and will fight for our relationship every day.
As much as those 2 sides of me are similar...they are different. By confusing the two, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and failure.
Agreed #Scarlette
For platonic connections keep it real simple and love light lol.
Friendships with the added benefits of platonic touch.
Some become friends first, some their friendship grows with the connection, etc.
@CuddlebugMT I agree with - both people have to respect each others boundaries or it’s a bad match . Simple
@Scarlette If you choose to keep it light and simple, Do whatever works for you.
I simply try to understand why people do the things they do & help others to see these different paradigms because I am passionate about psychology and helping others. I am stating some however might not be fulfilled in their person lives (Relationships) as I am explaining (Physical touch being the main) then come to a place like here to get the things you offer, where its a safe place to communicate, a safe place to touch, a safe place to feel loved....for the length of that cuddle. Yes I am sure you do that extremely well making each other feel that way. So your needs are being met. You're getting exactly what you are asking for. Not a plane but a pizza or cheeseburger as you explained. So my main thing is why give me such a hard time when I am trying to seek out the same thing?? I mean how would you feel? If I did what you did to me? Say you came here for support, love and affection. I discredited your needs and basically called you out on every post... preventing me from getting my needs met! Then say things like be happy with not getting the affection you want and need. (Basically stating this is all you deserve) I guess these things are easy to say coming from a person that is getting their wants and needs met. This is where I see the problem. That is what I was stating. I should be able to keep communicating what I want and need until someone is willing to give me that and they match up. As that is what we are all here for. Plus you state this is a safe place to communicate, touch and feel loved, so lets make it one and keep it that way.
Our personal lives are very different, as platonic touch from a stranger from CC is very different from a relationship with a partner. I was talking about both yes, however, I have no problem differentiating both of those.
I also have my first pro cuddle session coming up on Monday. So we will see if that has any effect on my overall well-being and skin hunger. As I'm sure my Karma on this site will improve.
I am done commenting for awhile as my Fibromyaliga is flaring up at the moment and am in a lot of pain and do not feel well. So I am sorry I can not answer all of your questions,replys or keep defending myself, Until I feel a bit better I will be away until then. Hope you all take care. P.L.U.R. = Peace, Love, Unity and respect.
I never said here that** I **am an expert in anything. I was referring to another person. However, since you asked, I think I am one heck of a lot more of an expert regarding communication than you. I've had several classes on communication, not that I'd expect you to accept that as sufficient credentials. You don't seem to want to accept anything from anyone, despite the fact that you admitted some shortcomings, and asked for help to overcome them. It seems to me that when so many people are all telling you the same thing, that you might want to pause and look inward to try to find the reason you are in disagreement with so many different people.
I have one more response to make to you on another thread. After that I am done responding to you. Unlike you, when I say I'm done, I mean it, there will be no more responses, so feel free to shout your insults to the skys.
@I_am_Polylover Which person were you referring to? I did not know it was a competition. I was simply trying to explain things from my point of view and how I felt. Okay and how are you helping me to overcome them. What are you all doing exactly with words or with physical touch? Well I am disagreeing because you are showing a group mentality and all attacking me because most of you have been in this group for awhile and I can definitely see favorites as all the same people are in all the threads boosting each other. So maybe its really all of you.. and not so much myself. Maybe you should take your own advice too and look inward.. I am not insulting anyone just speaking the way you and others have spoken to me. If you want to show me kindness I will show that back to you. Just like a mirror. If you insult me I will insult you back. Not always as I do not always feel a need to react to someones poor behavior.
Stop asking everyone to fix you and then becoming adversarial when you don't like what you hear, or when someone is not able to provide you a quick fix, or when they don't agree with you. This is perhaps the most sound advice myself or anybody on here can give you. You are yelling to be fixed and blaming others when they don't tell you exactly what you want to hear or when the comment is made that perhaps its you, not others, who is getting in your own way.
Okay. So... I've been on here for a few years off and on now. And I've NEVER had a bad problem until tonight. Ugh!
I met this one guy on the POF app @americanriverbo ...which most of you know is a dating type of app, right? Well...this guy I met on there was not only cute but was nicest guy on there. We talked for awhile on there. Then sometime later...I noticed he blocked me there. Never gave me a heads up or let me know why or anything. And then...I find out he @americanriverbo messaged me here on cuddle comfort last January... didn't notice it til several months later. I replied. Twice. Finally hear from him last month on here. We're finally talking...and good talk. Until I guess I must have pissed him off somehow a couple days ago. Not even telling me nothing. Finally figured he was mad at something I did or said after talking for days... setting a time to finally meet. We figured Sunday would be best for both of us... without thinking of Superbowl Sunday. Lol! But now that he blocked me... I'll never find out IF he really planned on meeting me, IF he is real, or was this his kind of play, or even what really set him off about what I wrote him...?
It sucks...cause I didn't fall for him...I just really liked him but also had my suspicion that he was just too good to be true. Now I'll never know what made him THIS mad at me or anything. I wasn't asking for sex or for me to sleep in his bed or for his number even. How would you other cuddlers feel IF you were me? ~JG~
@griffingirl1991 - Here's how I'd feel about it: NEXT!!!
You still never have had a bad problem if someone blocking you is all that happened. People get cold feet, people do all kinds of odd things, and you'll never know the reason why. I wouldn't give this guy a second thought.
Merged into this topic. [/Mark] Since threads derail so frequently into pointless comments and hair splitting and arguing and finger wagging , why don't we just have a thread dedicated for that shall we?
I will start by saying get off your pity boxes and stop whining about nobody wanting to cuddle with you . Put forth some effort and stop acting like an entitled brat. Not everyone who is hungry is gonna eat. Period . Oh and stop asking what happens if you get a boner ! You are a grown assed adult and we dont want to read about your penis!
Next .....
And another thing . Nobody cares about how you can dissect and attempt to philosophize every comment into metaphors and analogies. You sound desperate and pretentious!
Yup, it needed to be said.
@pmvines I'm glad you brought this up now.....Just so happens that I just got a boner and was wondering what to do about it!
Pretentious ? Ego ?
Seriously, if that's aimed at me, I just find it easier to understand unfamiliar things, by comparison with things that I do understand. It isn't showing off, it's thinking aloud ; like a child "showing its working" on a math question, so the teacher can see where they went wrong, or how they got the answer.
Snort.
@spuds Hold on, we'll try to get you an answer.
P.S. And I believe it was the OP in frustration at so much discussion of coronavirus, who said, "I miss the boner threads". Don't worry, they keep springing up.
@geoff1000 This thread is made in jest and though inspired by recent events is not taking aim at anyone particular. IThese are annoyances at things , not particular people . These are things that predate you and will be around long after you are gone . And more importantly as I said , it is in jest
@pmvines ~ Your thread's theme song...
@quixotic_life 😅
My last girlfriend said I didn't pay her enough attention ; at least I think that's what she said, I wasn't really listening.
Omg! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣 ~ I love that this is a thing!
Hahahahaah
Oh look... all the smart@sse! have gathered to one room to talk😂
🤔 feel like we are missing a couple? Come...come...you know who you are😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@lovelyhugs thank you for joining 🤣
And since we are blah blah blahing what is the deal with 2020?? Rona , social and political unrest , financial concern , now mother nature WTF