@Mike403 I know the one in CT does. I checked it before we bought our house. If you click on the person's name, it tells you what they were convicted of.
I did not read every single one of the responses, so maybe this was already covered here but I have 2 simple, bottom line thoughts:
1) The administrators of this site are not going to take responsibility or liability for the users. It’s just not realistic.
2) Whether people get together organically or through the professional route, cuddling, while not sexual, is still an intimate act, and therefore has inherent risks.
You always have the option to ask for an ID, do your own independent investigation and rely on such, but will someone provide that background search for a cuddle? I doubt it. Maybe they will. We all have free will.
Read their profiles, hopefully they have karma reviews, meet in public first, vibe them out, use your own judgment, have a friend check in and that’s probably all you can do. Or exit the practice.
It’s a beautiful and dangerous world.
Good luck 🍀👍
Independent contractor work means that the company or business doesn't have to take responsibility for anything. You work for yourself and this site is only a medium to find clients.
This ProPublica article, “Tinder Lets Known Sex Offenders Use the App. It’s Not the Only One” details a lot of the background regarding sex offenders and dating sites. Since it’s long, I want to let folks know what it includes. But, note well, this summary is from memory having only read the article once, admittedly scanning over part of it. Don’t use the summary as gospel. It’s provided to help you decide if you want to tear into this long-ass article. Also, these are the perspectives of the sites mentioned and there is no reason to assume that they can be generalized (or not) to CC.
Summary of dating site perspective: Screening would help keep the bad guys out but not all of them. Screening is expensive so it maybe makes sense on paid sites, but not free ones. It makes more sense to deal with the occasional lawsuit than institute screening processes on free sites. There are issues with the databases and the screening processes that make the process not completely reliable. A screening process gives users a false sense of security and so they don’t do the due diligence they should (and would) without a screening policy in place.
@Lovelight Not unreasonable to feel that way but wouldn’t you then also want to check any list of criminal behavior? For example domestic violence or any violence. Generally I feel that we need to help criminals get their life back together and not punish them and stigmatize them for the rest of their lives. Of course your safety is paramount so need to balance these things.
If it doesn't already, maybe the site should make clear it takes no responsibility for interactions off this site and all meet-ups are at your own risk.
Unfortunately there are many people on here with clean records who wont hesitate to push boundaries and make folks feel threatened, as well as grope.and straight up assault.
I'm kind of new to this site and enjoy my privacy but i support some sort of 3rd party id system where people's id's aren't displayed but required to join up.
@WriterGF I found this 🌸
There are many people in this sick world that are NOT REGISTERED SEX OFFENDERS, they just haven’t been caught yet. Are most vulnerable fall victim to it every day and they can’t do anything about it, while people on this site and others make reference to sex offenders and dealing with sex offenders on here, at least the adults can report it. Any more it’s risky no matter what and those that don’t meet somebody in public first to check them out and make sure that they at least appear to know what the rules and guidelines are would be the first step.
It's tough and I'm in the middle on this one. For one, yes there should be a vetting process somehow and the karma/reviews can easily help that. I know that I don't have a picture on my account, so I can understand the anxiety when someone gets a request from me. On the other hand, I'm not entirely confident in the security of this website or their IT team. If I put my ID up, who is to say who has access to it or how long they will have the access. What if the company gets bought out in a couple years?
Similar topic but off topic, I think it's absolutely wild to be put in the sex offenders list if you are caught at 230am urinating in an alley. There has to be some sort of restructuring with that in mind. Granted, someone publicly urinating at a park at noon should be on the list.
There's a lot of creeps out there, and as someone else pointed out, just because they don't have a record doesn't mean they don't deserve one. Just use the common sense and meet in public especially if they are a bit creepy in the messages with no karma. Maybe it's just me but I can pick it a creep within a couple minutes of meeting them.
Honestly, well put— It’s uncomfortable and makes me put my guard up 1000 times more when I’m speaking to someone here on this site and then not even a few hours later they are deleted or banned or paused or whatever the case may be. Intuition can only prepare us for so much and if some of us choose to not go with that, what else could there be?
Dear @radchelle00 I have had this happen also with feelings similar to yours. But then I remember that members can be banned for all kinds of things. Sometimes people get banned for being particularly disagreeable or talking particularly ugly and it may have nothing to do with not being platonic. Not that that necessarily makes me feel a lot better.
@ohnonotagain I totally understand not being completely confident in the security of the website. I'm also fortunate that I can tell a creep a couple of minutes after they start talking.
@bobadevotee you stated that sex offenders tend to reoffend which is farther from the truth. Only 5% nationwide reoffend. Definitely not taking up for them but just saying, most offenses that happen are by 1st time offenders. But what about people convicted of murder or robbery or assault. Do you want to leave them on here too? It’s a vast subject and the US has the highest incarceration rate in the world. Probably 2 out of every 10 people you meet has been to jail for something.
@twalk79 Yes recidivism is 5% after 3 years but grows to 24% after 15 years. That is problematic to a woman if you purely want to talk numbers as it grows to 1 in 4 chances for her to be assaulted. Would you go some place if there was a 1 in 4 chances that you would be killed? Just wanted to fill out the complete picture.
I'm not a pro and this is my first time exploring the idea of a cuddle buddy. But nobody is coming into my home without me getting a picture of their i.d./vehicle. I'll probably run a background check as well. They can do the same for me - I can be fair about it.
I have a friend who knows about this arrangement and she'll be receiving the information as well as expecting a call from me after sessions.
If someone is offended by me protecting myself there are a number of reasons ranging from them lying about their relationship status to having a criminal record.
My logic is this - why be upset about me knowing your first/last name when you expect to enter my home and have me in a somewhat vulnerable position? People with nothing to hide won't stress it.
I don't expect the site to do this type of regulating because it's really my responsibility to protect myself on this type of platform.
Not sure how common knowledge it is for those in the USA, but you can run a state sex offender registry back check. Just google it. For example, I live in KY, and I run background checks for my career field as part of the hiring process. I submit backgrounds for our potential hires both statewide, and nationally. The checks are free and take 10 seconds. You can search by a last name, address, etc.
If you suspect someone is a sex offender, you can also search the state database if you have any of their identifying information. If anyone has questions about this, please feel free to message me privately and I will help direct you.
P.S.-my background is with state corrections so I can also provide insight on safe practices online.
I am open to sharing my knowledge for those who would like assurance.
@Calibrate715 - I completely agree that a woman should be able to see a man's ID before either inviting a man into her house, or going to his house. I feel sufficiently strongly about this, that I will offer my ID to any woman who fails to ask for it.
However, I would expect a woman to agree not to share my ID with anybody else, and certainly not to ever post it.
Final part- I’m glad @FunCartel mentioned the recidivicism stats. Public indecency(urinating in public) does typically put you on the sex offender registry, depending on the situation, area, and the morality/ethics of the police force that has caught you.
The prison system is overcrowded across the US. We all know this. The point of Prison is to house the violent offenders as a way of protecting the community and depending on the institution’s level, they want to integrate you back into society.
I am aware of the sexual offenders that exist on this site-they are reading the forums and changing tactics to not be caught. It’s up to you, the individual to prepare yourself for the possibility that who you cuddle is a risk, each and every time. Doing your due diligence(background checks, reverse image search, etc) and creating safety nets for yourself are part of the process of being a pro cuddler. I, myself do not fear being sexually assaulted because I’m not afraid to go to defend myself by any means necessary, if I feel my life is threatened. I also state that in different words on my profile. I am a retired wrestler, advocate for sexual assault victims, and I work in behavioral health. I do not blindly accept booking sessions without my own vetting process anymore. Find what works for you.
@GreatHornedOwl I understand your perspective but my doing so would be a safety precaution in the event someone tried to harm me. And I'd allow the other person to have my information as well.
My requirements may be more stringent than some but I am up front about it during initial conversations. If it's a deal breaker for whatever reason, then the other person wouldn't be the ideal cuddle partner for me.
@Calibrate715 - I certainly wouldn't object to you giving my name and general location to a friend for you protection. That is quite different from giving out a copy of my ID, which typically has a considerable amount of information that would do nothing for your protection, but might leave me vulnerable to identity theft. Perhaps, a redacted ID might satisfy both our needs.
@GreatHornedOwl Oh yes,I understand now - I'd be censoring out anything beyond a person's name/pic to share with her. Sorry if I didn't clarify that before 😊
@Calibrate715 - In that case, I applaud your effort. If all of the women here did the same thing, it would eliminate, or at least reduce the occurrences of the violence that I've heard about.
@GreatHornedOwl, I don't cancel out the possibility of a woman getting violent either so that's why I'd be willing to share my information as well. I can abide by the same standards I'd expect of others😊
I am responding to the initial comment by Bobadevotee at the very beginning. The first thing to understand is that what you are talking about mostly exists in the United States. In European countries, you cannot have such intimate information about someone because privacy is a concept that is almost non-existent in the United States.
I understand where you're coming from in wanting to have access to someone's criminal record. However, it's important to consider the potential dangers and abuses that could arise from having such intimate information about people.
For one, having access to someone's criminal record could lead to unfair discrimination, even if the person has turned their life around since their conviction. It could also perpetuate stereotypes and stigmatization of certain groups of people.
Additionally, it's important to remember that we all have our own flaws and mistakes, and just because we may not have a criminal record doesn't necessarily mean we're perfect or without any wrongdoing in our lives. It's not fair to assume that someone is a horrible person just because they don't have a clean record.
How do we know that you're not actually horrible? It's quite sexist what you're saying, because you're assuming that just because you're a woman we shouldn't be suspicious of you and that we should only be suspicious of men.
How do I know if you've never scammed anyone in your life? You always take the same side, Do you provide your criminal record to others that ask for it ? I don't think so...
Do what you can to make yourself safe,but nothing will guarantee you safety, even criminal record check, there are police officers with zero record commited rapes and sexual assaults. Sexual abuses reported to law enforcement. Perpetrators 59 % Acquaintance 34 % Strangers 7% If you are really frightened to meet strangers better to find a different career, some clients are vulnerable,lonely and abandoned by society, depressed they won't be comfortable meeting you if you are really frightened and asking too much, better don't meet strangers to be safe. ID , video call is fine. More than that, it's too much, cuddle therapy maigh be not for you.
Absolutely @lucycuddle, people forget that the "cuddling" world is an inherently insecure activity.
We need to stop living in a society where taking real responsibility for oneself, has become everyone else’s job for us. And we also need to stop breeding that mentality. Helping people along your path is not a bad thing to do, but going out of our way to “correct” someone else’s work or world, can become very toxic, very quickly. Do your own research. And accept that the world is ALWAYS going to have nasty in it. Protect yourself. It’s our only true obligation.
@SnugglesRus but they are ignorant to think and even more at risk to think that sexual assault isn't a risk taken when cuddling