Compliments

disneydandisneydan
in General

I like to search around and see who may be available in an area I may visit or someone coming to my area. Some of the girls I find are really nice looking. Even though I may be hundred miles away, is it ok to give females compliments? I’m not trying to cross any lines, but I feel it’s nice to give someone compliments if I feel their appearance is nice. That’s just the type of person that I am. I’m not looking for it to be taken the wrong way. I respect everyone’s boundaries if they think it’s not the proper thing to do. Thanks,

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Comments

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles
    edited April 2023

    Compliments are nice but it sounds like this is coming from a place of physical attraction, which is not what cuddling is meant to be about. I also find it concerning that at 60, your age range is set to 18-40. This, along with your username, does not imply very platonic desires. I do think you have a nice profile and seem well-intentioned. Best wishes for your future cuddles.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • [Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)


    @SunsetSnuggles 😂

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    I don’t mind compliments but when I only ever receive compliments about my looks, it can get tiring. I have a very eclectic and long profile talking about so many things but I still get multiple messages daily saying “beautiful/sexy/gorgeous/“. It gets old and for me, I love to be seen as something more than a pretty piece… and I agree that your name “love legs” and solely going based off looks for a compliment wont go very far. When I get a message that says “you’re gorgeous 😍😍😍”, I just say thanks and move on.

    Maybe find other ways to compliment someone besides physical attraction.

  • jplemmonjplemmon

    I do it all the time including when I meet them. I can't say that anyone has ever seemed to be offended.

  • RezzRezz

    @SunsetSnuggles is spot on.
    Every complimentary message I receive regarding my appearance either gets ignored, sender blocked and/or occasionally reported if it's inappropriate enough.

  • disneydandisneydan

    Thanks for the feedback. Really don’t mean it to be taken the wrong way. Not what I mean to do. I’m not that way. I appreciate the opinions. Sorry for any misunderstandings I may have caused. Not trying to do that. And sorry for the age profile. I should do a better job getting that updated. 😳

  • BearBear

    I give out compliments all the time. If I see something really cool on someone’s profile. Or they said something positive in the forums, as well as a eye-catching profile name. I’ve never had a problem with crossing boundaries. Just sending an PM for compliments and looks in my opinion sounds more like a icebreaker or even possibly, something you would see on a dating app or such.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited April 2023

    Fine line between compliment and hitting on the person. If you don't already have that rapport established, then just don't. Don't be that guy. It can come across as creepy .

  • GreatHornedOwlGreatHornedOwl
    edited April 2023

    I too like to give a woman compliments but never on her looks, which are really just an accident. I will compliment on things that she can control. I'll compliment her on how nicely she has done her hair, or on what a lovely smile she has, or on how well she has written her profile so that some of her personality comes through.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @GreatHornedOwl I love that, complimenting on something the person has control over, rather than genes. Lovely approach.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • MakaMaka

    A compliment can go a long when when it’s genuine and as @GreatHornedOwl said focused on something positive that people can control. For example I will always compliment a welcoming and kind personality

    I feel it’s often overlooked and with this site’s focus being of healing touch and comfort I feel strongly that it’s also important we help build each other up. A kind compliment does wonders for someone hurting or just needing a little confidence boost!

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho

    @lovelegs14

    Some of the girls I find are really nice looking. Even though I may be hundred miles away, is it ok to give females compliments?

    You probably shouldn't do it, not because it's not "ok", but because it probably won't do much positive for her, and she'll probably think less of you than if you said something else. Women tend to perceive compliments about their looks from strangers as "This is something I want from you." Even if not, if she's young and attractive, she already hears it constantly. It's not special, it's not sweet, it's not flattering; you're just putting yourself in the same category of dozens of other random men she doesn't even remember.

  • RezzRezz

    @CuddleWho

    👏👏👏👏👏👏

  • disneydandisneydan
    edited April 2023

    @CuddleWho

    Thank you for your words of wisdom. Mostly appreciated. 😊

    Some things are better left unsaid!!!

  • KarmicKuddles20KarmicKuddles20

    I think the use of "girls" and "females" isn't really an appropriate way to refer to women, IMO. I realize that those terms are generally harmless, but are outdated.

    If a compliment comes my way and it looks like:
    You're a really pretty female
    You're prettier than most girls

    Immediate ick.

  • disneydandisneydan

    Yes with all the different terminologies today, it’s tough how to address people. It’s like being in a boxing ring and hit all over the place! Once again. I do apologize if I offended anyone. That was not my intent.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    @SunsetSnuggles I have control over my jeans!

    I don’t have anything to add to what has already been stated.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @sunnysideup Do you sag 'em, bootcut 'em, rip 'em? Inquiring minds need to know. 👖

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • KarmicKuddles20KarmicKuddles20

    @lovelegs14 I'm not offended, just so you know :) I do appreciate your willingness to accept feedback.

    For all I know, your username may be telling us that you love your own legs, or spider legs 😀

  • disneydandisneydan
    edited April 2023

    @KarmicKuddles20

    Thank you 😊

    And the username was a nickname I was called during my school days of running track. I was pretty damn quick back then.

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    @lovelegs14 I would add that bit about running track in your profile. It’s a nice little explanation of the username as opposed to ppl thinking you have an obsession with womens legs. 🌸🌸

  • GreatHornedOwlGreatHornedOwl

    @KarmicKuddles20 - Some females are women, and others are girls. Although the boundary between them isn't very distinct. Some 30 year old women feel disrespected by being called a girl. Some 20 year old girl may resent being called a woman. I have trouble figuring out how to address a "female" of either age group.

    As hard as it is to know how to address a "female" of either age group, referring to all "females" is even more difficult. I could refer to them as gals, but that seems to be somewhat a bit flippant, and possibly, demeaning. For lack of any better word, I refer to them as females, even though I don't like to.

    Are you aware of any better word?

  • justageekboyjustageekboy

    I generally avoid using gendered terms in direct conversation whenever I can. But when I must, I use the terms men and women.

  • KarmicKuddles20KarmicKuddles20

    @GreatHornedOwl thank you for asking... although I don't want to derail the OP's original question or post, I'll answer your question. This is from genderedinnovations.stanford.edu:

    “Female” and “male” describe biological sex—in humans, non-human animals, and other organisms. “Females” and “males” should be used only when the subject matter in question is solely biological sex.

    “Women” and “men” should be used when referring to humans where both biology and culture are concerned, such as “women engineers” or “men engineers.”

    Words (and context) are important, imo. Most (not all) women I know, talk to, read from, hear from, etc. prefer to be called women as opposed to females because we are more than our sex and appreciate that distinction. Maybe we didn't care (or didn't speak up) decades ago, but we do now.

    Personally, I can tell what generation you're from (the general you, not you specific you, although in this case both are true haha) by the words you use. Maybe updating your vocabulary isn't a bad thing. Maybe it doesn't matter... idk, up to you :)

    If I'm talking to a senior (or anyone from my generation and older) and hear them use female/girl, I'm not offended. I just notice.

    I definitely do not prefer to be called female in general. I'm too old to be called girl, so that rarely happens anymore lol I like woman, lady is ok (but probably old lady is more accurate haha), ma'am is kinda hot I'll be honest, but referring to me using a non-gendered "person", is really good too.

    I'll accept madam, and gentlewoman, too 🤣🤣

    @Sheena123 yes, putting that bit in his profile is a good suggestion ... he did change the age range.

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    @KarmicKuddles20 I like madam, but it's not a preference. I'm too old to be called girl, but in the right context I would like it. I liked it when I was called senorita instead of senora at Mexican restaurants when I was way too old to be a senorita. I don't really care what I'm called and I'm way cool with someone talking to me like I am younger than I am, Lol.
    I'm not offended by what an older person calls me either; it's a generational thing, as you said.

    It takes a lot more than one word to offend me, Lol. If you are a fun and kind cuddler, you can call me whatever you want.

  • xandriarainxandriarain
    edited April 2023

    @Sheena123 and @CuddleWho , You both hit the nail on the head. Us Women/Females/ people with two X chromosomes on cuddle comfort, especially pros, are already on high alert for people with non-platonic intentions. When someone compliments me about my appearance as their first message, I definitely see that as a red flag and will be more suspicious of them in my initial screening process than if they had not commented on my appearance at all. I prefer compliments about things I have accomplished, like my profile, karma, professionalism, or even how cute my dog is; it feels more genuine and wholesome.

    Next time someone compliments my appearance, I will just say, "I know" no thank you or anything.

  • KarmicKuddles20KarmicKuddles20

    @achetocuddle I agree, it's almost impossible to offend me, unless you're really trying... and if you're really trying, I usually find it hilarious 😂

  • GreatHornedOwlGreatHornedOwl
    edited April 2023

    I appreciate what all of you are saying, but as I see it, the problem is with the English language. It as lacking a word that incorporates both women and girls, or (for that matter), both men and boys. Until the language gets some new words, this will be awkward.

    Lately. I have been exchanging messages with a 20 year old college student whose gender happens to be female. She thinks I'm "cute," which I find hilarious, but that's beside the point. The question is, do I refer to her as a girl, or as a woman? If the former, at what age should she begin to be referred to as a woman?

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @GreatHornedOwl It seems the media starts the delineation at age 18.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • KarmicKuddles20KarmicKuddles20

    Just my .02 cents... ask her what she prefers (and then make that change, if necessary). After puberty, she is a woman. But you already know that.

    The fact that you're entertaining this convo gives me hope and shows you are willing to learn or embrace something that makes you feel some kinda way (awkward).

    The English language has changed and morphed to include new words many many times, so I task you with the job of coming up with a new word that describes both girl/woman, boy/man. Go forward @GreatHornedOwl in this journey I bless and watch over you ✨️

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