Nonbinary=they/them pronouns y'all. Stop it.
nothing is rude you need to be comfertable in yourself ,just remember there a alot of good guys out there and a few bad ones no matter what keep yourself safe
@Mike403 That’s not what’s being debated. It’s just the statements that older men are creepy or “I’ve experienced older men being creepy”. And it could just as well be some other characteristic like race or religion. And I’m saying not to generalize from a few experiences and form prejudices. If someone is making you uncomfortable than by all means do not cuddle with them. But don’t assign them characteristics that are just your prejudices based on their social group. And while you have the right to be prejudiced (when you’re not a Pro anyway) , you at least shouldn’t try to normalize and defend it on an open forum. That’s all I’m saying.
I don’t think it’s rude if you’re not a professional to have a age bracket. I think if you’re a professional you should have no age requirement. It makes me feel bad when some guy that’s 55 has an age requirement under his age. It does kind of seem weird. But if you’re only 18 years old you should be cuddling people your own age. I think it’s great you’re on the site at such a young age.
@kimberly77 very very well put!!!!! I see age as NO barrier!!!
There are generational gaps on what people know about respecting others bodies. Social conditioning and knowledge about consent and body ownership has also changed over time. There are also amazing people of every age on here. Who was teaching consent and boundaries 40 years ago? Makes me more grateful for the older men I cuddle who really understand it because it honestly is not all that common.
The few clients I've had that blatantly crossed boundaries were all older men. No one near my own age has acted with that type of entitlement and expectation of access to my body.
I will very carefully vet all clients, regardless of any characteristic they have. Theoretically if cuddling with older men put my body in fight or flight, then that is unhealthy and bad for my body and mind. I wouldn't do it, illegal or not. They wouldn't have a very therapeutic cuddle either if my body is that tense.
I am comfortable cuddling with all humans who respect my boundaries, and I'm glad my brainbody hasn't started to generalize and make me feel unsafe with all men. I thought that might happen my first few weeks working as a pro.
I'd prefer it if people do set their preferences. Makes it easier to find a match.
Some people experience that there's very little amount of cuddlers in their area, though. So keep that in mind when setting your preferences.
I’m an older man, and no, this is not at all problematic. Frankly a lot of men are, and there is nothing different about men on this site. The reality is that this experience should be comfortable for you. If there are factors that make you feel safe and comfortable, the. Use them! Don’t worry about it offending other people.
Just go with what your gut says!
Watching the ID channel the overwhelming majority of people who actually do creepy things are under 35.Its not because they are physically more attractive.That being said its more than OK to choose or not choose a particular age.(The ID channel features seriously violent crime.)
Just remember that Ted Bundy once looked like an attractive young man. Never judge a book by its cover.
I personally have no age preferences. I’ve had wonderful clients of all different ages. I’ve also experienced boundary pushers in all different age categories. It really comes down to the individuals personality. Someone got offended by my previous comment about being irked by older guys only wanting to book younger women. I just want to make it clear that the thing that irks me is the ageism against older women. I have nothing against any particular age group. Even if you are an older man who only wants to cuddle younger women and you’re reading this I just want to say to you, you are entitled to your preferences just like everyone else. Maybe look inward and ask why you don’t like women closer in age. But either way you’re allowed to feel the way you feel. Sometimes I just need assurance that people will still want to cuddle with me when I get older.
@xandriarain and @kimberly77 well said. Age is not the issue. It is who you interact with on an individual basis. As a man I have boundaries also in regards to the women I cuddle with.
@xandriarain
Sometimes I just need assurance that people will still want to cuddle with me when I get older.
This struck a chord with me. One of the reasons why I appreciate this site is the fact that I can find people who will cuddle with this middle-aged man. In my heart, I believe that there will always be people who are delighted to cuddle with you, both on this site and "in the real world."
OP I actually agree with you. Im 52 and Im not interested in cuddling with someone whos old enough to be my daughter.I do not think you are being rude at all.
Everyone has a right to their age preference and it’s not rude.. it’s how you articulate a preference that makes it either rude or polite. And as others posted no one should have to justify why someone’s age makes them uncomfortable. I also have an age preference
@zoeloveshugs I agree with you, but I'm sure if she becomes a pro age is not a problem and she can feel comfortable with older men, when she's enthusiast old men are creepy . it's not about her i uesd to hang around with young girls they hate old men.
@Mike403 %100 I'm with you
No
Just to join in on the conversation, I’ll say that I agree with the sentiment that one is free to choose not to cuddle anyone for any reason. The ultimate goal is comfort. If you’re not going to be comfortable physically cuddling someone because they’re old, young, male, female, curly-haired or bald then don’t cuddle them.
It isn't rude. 😊 I don't have a preference. As long as someone is at least 18, I'm good.
I will point out that (technically) pros are not supposed to discriminate based on age, gender, etc. Enthusiasts - that's a different story.
...but am definitely worried about getting closer to 40 and beyond.
Unless it's just about vanity and being superficial, you have nothing to worry about. With age comes wisdom and a broader perspective on life.
Enjoy your youth now, welcome your seniority as it comes.
no
Cuddle with whom you feel comfortable with. I’m 46 and get plenty of cuddlers. Beauty is inside, not just outside. And can be both. I wouldn’t dread the future, just because of age. If guys are only wanting you for your beauty at your age, that’s not really the type of guy you want to be around. Once a person has had multiple problems with certain people of any type of group, yes, they can be biased. And it’s natural to be more cautious of that group. That’s human nature.
It is funny seeing dead topics rise from the dead and reading them.
It is not rude to have an age preference, but I am saddened to hear that men my age get lumped into the "creepy" category because I am of course not one. I get where the comment is coming from, but it does come off as ageism because the word has such a negative connotation and because perhaps a younger person pushing boundaries (and they most certainly do) won't necessary be looked at as being so "creepy" as much as just them just acting "inappropriate". And @SoftHairForDays is technically correct, but I digress because I still have no problem with it.
But the fact of the matter is there are not as many pros in my area that in my age bracket so I am forced to go younger. My very first cuddler was only 25 and I went out of my way to ensure she was ok with my age. And we had a wonderful session. I've cuddled with a handful of other pros, all in their 30s and 40s, but my first cuddler has always been my favorite and the best cuddler and is my most regular booking. She even checks in with me regularly to say hi. So it has nothing with me just wanting to rob the cradle, so to speak. I'm looking forward to my next cuddle session in 2 weeks and she will be the closest to my actual age so far.
I'm glad when old topics come up, because a lot of them I have not seen before.
Frankly, I typically feel safer actually with older folks even if they were not raised in consent culture. All ages having gone through the same vetting process, I've found people older than me to generally be less "thirsty", more patient, more understanding of real life obligations, and more empathetic of my chronic health issues. That's not to say there aren't outliers in the younger crowd, and there is definitely something to be said for those who have grown up seeing consent and equity being modelled for them. But as a whole, my better experiences as an enthusiast have been with partners older than myself.
Well, I’m thoroughly enjoying reading this thread! Ohhh the perspectives of different aged people commenting! I’m a Pro who cuddles everyone & anyone who I feel safe with. My age gives me a great advantage so anyone “young” should look forward to the wisdom you will acquire. Everyone has value, regardless of age, imo. Men in their 40s and 50s…old??? You’re young! Most of my Cuddlers are in 30s - 40s and choose me because of my age. Really young men in their 20s - I feel less comfortable with. To the women in their 20s and 30s and older, it only gets better! Some day you will understand that. Here’s my 2 cents: Everyone, best to enjoy the life you are living now and don’t worry about past or future. Take the best care of health and lifestyle that you are able to and you will be just fine.
I don't think it's rude, anyone should be able cuddle who they're comfortable with, however I myself don't have an age preference as long as it's over 18. That being said, have I been disappointed when I see I'm either too young or too old for someone's age preference? Yes, but just move on.
Reported and removed. Appears to be trolling with inappropriate comments. [Charlie_Bear]
I don't have an age preference (well, besides being over 18). What matters to me is character and personality. I do love to Zoom/Skype because I get the chance to see the other person smile & emote. I don't care what you look like.
Of course, on the other hand some people do have preferences, and that's okay. I think the only way it would be rude is if you were to make someone feel less than just because they're not your particular cup of tea.
As has been said, if you're not someone's preference, move on. Don't get stuck, just push on